Monday, December 10, 2012

My old self, only better.

I am sitting here in the middle of the night with my second cup of coffee which I did need after waking up feeling sort of drowsy and hung over but not willing to go back to bed to sleep some more. I've already done enough of that because I went to bed early afetr I had my dinner and walked Tyke for the last time. There is nothing better than going to sleep on a full stomach after having gotten some fresh air. 

I do have to say, thank goodness there is coffee when you wake up drowsy from your sleeping pill. Hopefully my psychiatrist will agree on the lower dose and I will have it tonight so I will not be so stupefied when I wake up in the middle of the night like I always do.

I sent him an email because I need a refill on all my medicines before I go to Texas but I asked him if I could reduce my anti-psychotic also from 3 mg to 2 mg. because I am obviously taking too much of it after quiting smoking. When I take the 2 mg tablet in the afternoon, I feel my spirits dip and that means it is working too well. I will be taking 1 mg twice a day and who knows what will happen in the future? Maybe I will be able to reduce it even more and do without completely. 

In the past, when I have tried to quit smoking, I have always used nicotine patches so I have never been without nicotine the way I am now. This is a whole new experience and all of the nicotine is now out of my body. It was after 2 or 3 days. I find that my mind works better without the nicotine once it got over having to do without. I mean that I am emotionally healthier and steadier. 

I had suspected that before but experience the truth of it now. I was fooled into thinking that the nicotine reduced my stress and calmed me down but it does nothing at all to improve my mood. The nicotine, and all those other chemicals that you inhale, mess with your mind and make you think and behave differently. I want nothing to do with them ever again.

Any place that I will live in from now on will be smoke free and there will be no exceptions. There will be no ashtrays available, not even outside on the balcony at my next place. I will become a fiend of tobacco and tobacco smoke. I think it is bad enough that my furniture smells like it.


Optimistic Existentialist said...

The part of the post that stood out was when you said "thank goodness there is coffee" true. I love this blog Irene and I am now a subscriber :)

Rob-bear said...

Sounds like a former part of you has "gone up in smoke," so to speak. Good news! Glad you enjoy coffee. When you're up at different hours, do Tyke and Gandhi come and keep you company? I trust they do.

Speaking of being up at different hours, it's time for me to go back to hibernating. See you in the spring, or perhaps sooner.

Blessings and Bear hug.

Wisewebwoman said...

Well done, you! With you in thought and spirit.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Looking forward to your next post :)

Lucky Dip Lisa said...

Well done Irene. I am thrilled for you that you have been successful in kicking the habit! I am not even nearly interested un quitting at the moment, although I have done for long periods at a time so I know what a commitment it takes. YAY YOU!!