Finally, after having been deprived for more than 24 hours, I got to drink coffee again after the Exfactor went to the store for me this afternoon. I could have kissed his whole bald head, but I don't think he would have appreciated that, so I just thanked him from the bottom of my heart.
I tell you, drinking tea just does not do it for me and I sit in a stupor and never get my act together. I think it is the influence of the medication that makes it so. It must be a side effect that makes me feel so lethargic.
When the Exfactor walked in with the coffee, I made a pot as quickly as I could and poured us both a cup as soon as it was ready. After I had the first cup, I started feeling ever so much better. It was a difference between night and day and my whole mood improved. I could finally smile again.
It's very important that I don't run out of coffee again and at someone else's good suggestion, I'm going to put instant coffee on my shopping list for emergencies. Not that I like the flavor of it that much, but really, it will be the caffeine that I'll care about. That's what I'm going to need the most.
Today is another warm and sunny day, but I'm not making the mistake of taking the dog for another long walk like I did yesterday. Inside the apartment it's fairly cool and the dog has found the best place to lie down and be comfortable. I'm sure he would not appreciate a walk in the hot sun now. Neither would I, no matter how skimpily dressed I am. I'll wait until this evening when it has cooled down a bit.
I've still got to do some chores, but for some reason I'm not concerned about doing them at all. When I was depressed, these sort of things bothered me very much and I was always very worried about them and about getting them done. Now they seem so unimportant and like they are no problem at all. They are things that are easily done. I suppose that's a true measure of the state of my mind.
Lots of things weigh a lot lighter now and what I was worried about before, I'm not concerned about one bit now. A big load has fallen off my shoulders. I feel that I have all sorts of breathing space and a bigger sense of freedom. It's okay to be me again. Without me being acutely aware of it, my depression has disappeared like snow under the sun. The black dog is no longer stalking me.
I suppose I should be immensely grateful for that and I am. It's all because of two extra pills that saved my life. And I mean that literally. I now have a future again and another thirty years to live.
I have to go and change my bed and do a load of laundry. A clean bed will make me look forward to going to sleep tonight. I have clean pajamas too, which makes it even better.
I hope you're all having a good day.