Sunday, February 07, 2010

Another long walk...

This afternoon Tyke and I went for another long walk together and it was much more successful than yesterday's walk, because this time I wore my hiking boots. These made all the difference in the world and I walked with what seemed the greatest of ease. We did roughly the same walk we did yesterday (just a little bit longer) and cut a considerable amount off our time. I also didn't wear my warm sweater and I wore my short leather jacket instead of my winter coat, even though it was colder today. I didn't feel like such an worn out middle aged woman going there having no business attempting to walk a couple of kilometers at a fast pace.

When we left, Jesker had shown no interest in going out with us and when we got back, he was still lying on his blanket, sound asleep and barely acknowledging the fact that we were home again. He had to go out, but I didn't know how to get him outside. I opened the back door and tried to get him to stand up. Well, I got the front of him up, but not the backside. So, I picked up his back side with Tykes help, because he was trying to get Jesker to stand up too, and finally managed to get him into a standing position. Jesker protested by growling. Then I had to lead him outside, which Tyke also helped me with, and I managed that and Jesker did an enormous piddle and a poop, after which he hobbled back inside to lie down again, showing no interest in the snack I offered him as a reward. He's just not interested in eating. He just wants to sleep and be left alone today. He's not even coming over to lie down beside me.

I don't know when enough is enough. I just don't know when to make that call. Part of me wants to say it is now, but the other part of me says, no not yet. So, I really don't know. I'm having such a hard time with this.

I just called the Exfactor and he's no help to me whatsoever and right now I am crying and I can hardly see the keyboard. I didn't realize how much sadness I have been walking around with inside of me about this. This is just one of those things that is so hard to do. I know I have to make the decision now and that it is time, but I hate that.

Okay, I just called my sister and she was a big help. I know what I have to do now. Tomorrow morning I will call the vet and make an appointment with him and then my sister and I will go there together with Jesker and see it through. That's the best solution. Women need other women, don't they?

Tyke is so smart. He was trying to get Jesker to stand up by pulling him by his fur and then he was trying to get him to walk by pulling him by his ears. He's a real little helper. What a funny dog.

I'm drained, so I will keep this short. Tyke is trying to get into the dog cookies and Jesker finally made it over here and is lying beside me. It cost him quite a bit of effort.

Have a good evening!



Friend of the Bear said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Breakfast in California said...

So sorry that it has come to this. Be strong tomorrow. I know Tyke will be a comfort to you, but not a replacement. Wish I were there to help you.

Babaloo said...

Sorry to hear it's time now. But you're right, if Jesker isn't interested in going out the back and not even in a treat, then life can't be much fun for him anymore. You're right, it is time.

And I'm so very glad you have your sister to go with you. These things are hard to do and even harder to do on your own.

Sending you lots of strength and a big hug!


Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. Glad that you got your walk in with Tyke. He sounds very intelligent. I had no idea that a puppy would be that smart.

You are very brave. I hope that your sister is a good support to you through this. It's good that you are not having to deal with this all on your own.

Bearfriend xxxx

BTW I love those flowers. They remind me of the picture you painted.

Twain12 said...

i'm sending you all my love Nora and you are doing the right thing if Jesker is feeling so poorly :(, i shed a tear with you. I'm glad your sister can be with you !!

laurie said...

oh, my dear. this is truly the hardest decision there is to make. but if he's not enjoying life, and if his condition is incurable, it presses you forward.

having your sister go is a wonderful solution. yes, we women need women. we are stronger, in the long run, even though we may cry.

Gail said...

I knew you would know when it was time. You can be with him and it will be gentle. All dogs go to heaven, you know. I am there with you.

softinthehead said...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow Nora, it so tough to have to make such a decision but take comfort in knowing you are doing what is best for Jesker.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sad for you, Nora. But you're right, it does sound like it's time. I'm happy that your sister will be with you for much-needed support, though. I will be thinking of you and Jesker tomorrow. xoxo

aims said...

Oh my friend. I don't want it to be time either - I want you to have more years with Jesker.

Let the vet help you tomorrow. He would probably come to your place if you asked him so that you didn't have to disturb Jesker too much. Let him help you.

I'm not happy that the ex-factor isn't helping you with this. You both shared Jesker's love at one time - why not help you now when you need it the most? I guess it proves a lot of things.

I'm here - crying as I type - even though I've never been able to give Jesker a hug or a pat but I feel like I know him through all the talking you've done of him.

I'm here - write me if you want or if you are up to it.

Wisewebwoman said...

My heart is with you both. You are so wise and caring and loving to do the right thing now. He has loved you and trusted you with his life.
I feel I know Jesker from your writing about him, and I've lived through times when I've had to let go of these wonderful loving friends who trust us with their very lives.
Much love my dear.
And yes, women are always there for us.

Maureen said...

Oh, I share your tears... I am so choked up for you; so glad you don't have to go alone. Remember the good times; and how lucky you both are to have spent so much time together.

I send you hugs, but wish I could be there IRL for a shoulder to lean on.

Debi said...

You are a good friend to Jesker, as he has been to you.