Thursday, November 05, 2009

Late in the evening.

Isn't that always the best time to write? When you maybe ought to go to bed, but you're sitting so very cozily behind the computer with just a few lights burning and the dog snoring gently beside you and the cat crunching her kibbles in the kitchen? I actually turned on the heater today, but it ran for only a little while and then the apartment was warm and stayed warm. It's been a steady 20C all evening and the heater has not gone on again. Thank goodness for good insulation. I think I'll keep it at this temperature and be nice and comfortable, because before I turned the heater on, it was cold and just too chilly to feel good. I am wearing a scarf around my neck for extra comfort and that always feels nice. There's nothing better than having your upper parts heated.

I haven't even changed into my pajamas and bathrobe yet and am still wearing my clothes and boots, the ones that are so comfortable. I'm wearing a cardigan that I had not worn for a long time, because I had forgotten about it in my overfull closet, but I chanced upon it today while digging through my clothes. Then I thought, "Hey, that's something I can wear, and what does it look like and how many buttons does it have?" It forgot what it looks like on me and it's like trying on something new. I really need to do a major closet clean up, but I have to be in the proper mood for that and decide which clothes I still want to wear. That means trying on some of them too. That's just too much work tight now. So, instead I dig and hope to come up with something good.

I received another two books today and the third section of my book case is becoming filled up. Just this past week I received seven books. I have to buy some brown wrapping paper and some more scotch tape. I hope to be able to buy that at that cheap store that carries everything under the sun. I will have to go over there this weekend and see if they have that. Then I can get my books ready for the next shipment. I had added a lot of new books to my inventory and got a lot of requests, which also led to me being able to mooch a lot of books myself. Some I am especially pleased about, because they were hard to get. It's always nice if you get an affirmative answer to a request for a mooch.

The on line store has straightened out my account and separated it from the Exfactor's. I now have my own account, which is a relief, because I do like the convenience of shopping on line and I know the brand of clothes and the size that I am there, so I can buy things without worrying about that. I can even buy bras and panties without any problems. The quality is good too and the clothes don't fall apart in the laundry. It will be a real pleasure to shop there. That is after I clean up my closet to see what is there and what needs to go. That reminds me that I have a green denim skirt that I need to alter and I should try to do that this week, because it's a job I have been putting off forever. Time to get the sewing machine out. I must do these things and not only think about them and then forget about them until I run into them again.

I tried to do something sensible with my hair, but I seem to have lost the touch and I could only make it look halfway decent and that with the help of a lot of hairspray. Sometimes my hair just won't do what I want it to, or I seem to have forgotten how to achieve it. I feel like I need to start over from scratch and begin at the very beginning again, with the wax and the styling gel and the hairspray. Short hair can be a lot of work if you want it in a certain style.Of course, the face underneath it isn't what it used to be either, so it's an uphill battle. I wish I could style my face in the morning and smooth all the imperfections out of it. Though there are creams and lotions that claim they can, and I'll sell you the Brooklyn bridge and the Golden Gate bridge too.

It's really ridiculous how much women worry about the aging process and wanting to stay eternally young looking and how they try to achieve that with lotions and potions and make up, when all we should do is use a good product to clean our faces with and a good moisturizer. I do all those things myself to try and look as attractive as I can and pull everything I've got out of my make up bag, when all I really want is a soft, clean face. I should be brave enough to face the world with it and not worry about how attractive I am and how young looking. Often enough I catch sight of myself in the mirror and I see my made up self and am not happy with it at all. I see a painted face on a middle aged woman and I think all I need is some mascara and a touch of lipstick. It's the fear of not looking good enough anymore that drives me, but I should know better. I think I'm going to change my tactics and go for the wholesome look. I wonder if I might not be a lot happier that way.

Some nights my eyes get tired and when I sit behind the computer, I have difficulty seeing the finer print and I have to put my reading glasses on.On other nights I don't have this problem at all and I can read everything just fine. I do notice a terrific difference when I take off my glasses. My right eye loses its focus and goes terribly wacky on me and I can't look at anything that's the least bit far away. That's how much it's gotten used to the glasses and how much of a correction there is. I can't imagine now not wearing them and I realize that the pain in my eyes I was having, and the slight headaches, were because I was not wearing my glasses. I've been completely cured of them. Vanity is a bad business, as I already discussed. I'm too hung up on looks and not enough on character and personality, because I think that everyone will judge a book by its cover and not look past that. God forbid they should find out I have no personality!

Well, I know that's not true, because I definitely do have one, although it is a silent one and maybe not so easy to get to know. I guess I worry about that, because I don't sparkle and shine when people meet me. I'm not all out there, but I'm kind and that goes a long way.

Okay, I've rambled on long enough. I'm in danger of having lost your attention already. I could sit here all night and write about the most insignificant things, but I do have to go to bed.

I hope you're all sleeping tight and those of you who are not, I hope you are enjoying your day.

Goodnight and see you tomorrow.



Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. I ought to be in bed right now!

When I was in my mid twenties and got my first tiny lines I was very upset. But then I told myself that it would only get very much worse from here and I should enjoy what I have while I have it!

I can now see how stupid it was to be worried like that. Even a couple of years ago people thought I was in my early 20s. I think I have a bit of a babyface in that it doesn't matter how many wrinkles I have, people still think I'm young. OK, I have a chubby face!

I think you have a good strong face and it probably doesn't need painting. I never wear make up apart from concealer if I have a spot. I just don't like the feeling of it on my face clogging up my pores. Also most days I struggle just to wash my face or put a comb through my hair so your grooming routine well exceeds mine!

You sound much happier now so I hope this is the case.

Hope you sleep all night,
Bearfriend xx

Stacie said...

I LOVE it when I find something in my closet that i forgot that I had! It's like going shopping. If you clean out your closet too much then you don't get to have that experience. i love to wear scarves. I knit them and wear them proudly (unless I give them away). I think wearing them in the house is a splendid idea! I hope you are feeling better!

Maggie May said...

I don't worry about lines on my face. What is the point of it. I also don't bother too much with make up.What you are inside that counts!
Moisturiser is the important thing.

Hope you sleep well & try not to worry about anything because it really doesn't make an iota of difference & you just beat yourself up all the time.

Going to have a nice shower now & wash my hair! (Little things cause such pleasure!)
Try and have a good day. X

Nuts in May

Granny on the Web said...

I got a reel feeling of Déjà vu on reading this post. I now let my wrinkles have free reign, as long as I am clean and smell nice, nature has bequeathed my features, so I am prepared to accept the going older part of my life.
I am in the process of de-cluttering all the nooks and crannies and hiding places in our house, let alone just the closet. My hubs is an awful hoarder, I wonder how it is we get along so well! I am in truth a minimalist! But I concede in the name of love.
However , we now are thinking of downsizing to a smaller house, so some drastic clearing is essential.
Stay snug and warm
Love Granny

The Green Stone Woman said...

Stacie, it's true. I had better not clean out my closet too much, but just think of all the things I'll find when I do! It will be a wondrous day.

These scarves I'm wearing are decorative. They are less for warmth and more for looks, although I do wear warmer ones in the winter than I do the rest of the year. I like the long rectangular ones, but some people like the square kind. If you knit your own, you can make them with all sorts of material and make them as fashionable as you like. That's great! I should take up knitting again. Thank you for reminding me!

The Green Stone Woman said...

Granny on the Web, you have the right attitude about your looks. Being clean and smelling nice are indeed more important, I must remember that.

I am a minimalist too and like everything de-cluttered. My ex was a hoarder and drove me mad with all his bits and pieces that he wanted to save for a rainy day.

Down sizing sounds like a good idea. I have already done it and can't live much smaller than I do now, but it is very convenient. And it is easier to keep clean, I said with a chuckle.

Gail said...

You could never loose my attention.

Simple, comfortable, that's me.

Maureen said...

Oh you have personality alright!!! And I have to laugh now at all my friends who spent their teens baking in the sun for the perfect tan. They now look like leather. I stayed covered up and moisturized...

What a fun day to find something "new" in your very own closet!