On the road again...

I went to bed early last night and took some extra tranquilizers and managed to sleep through the night, which was very pleasant and something I needed to do. It felt very good to fall into a sound sleep and to wake up refreshed and not tired anymore. Initially I only had one reheated cup of coffee, but I just decided to make a fresh pot, so that I will be ready to take care of some much needed to do chores and get those out of the way while it is still early in the day. I have to take advantage of the momentum and the courage that I still have early in the morning, before all of the anxiety hits me. I have to pay bills and get some packages ready for the mail and then actually go to the post office to mail them. That will be the real test of my courage.

It's terrible not to know where your mood is going to take you on a day. I am rather insecure right now and unsure of how I will be able to pull things off. I'm going to act as if everything is okay and I can do whatever comes my way without the least amount of trouble, but that's not how it feels inside. I feel like I should perform some magic ritual to make to outcome more sure and to make myself more steady. If I drink just the right amount of coffee and smoke just the right amount of cigarettes, maybe everything will turn out right. Of course, I should also take my medicines on time and not a minute too late or too early.

I have turned on the day light therapy lamp just in case that's going to alleviate my mood some. I hope it helps and I will use it for a while and see if it makes a difference. I should know after a few days if it does.

Tyke is sound asleep on the sofa and has not let me know yet that he needs to go for a walk. He is snoring just a little bit and it sounds very cozy. Gandhi is asleep in the armchair, my favorite chair to sit in, but she's welcome to it for now. I'll be sitting behind the computer for a while yet. I can pay all the bills on line. At least those are the conveniences of these modern times. Thank goodness for them.

The day is starting. The paper delivery person has just come by. It is the first noise I've heard this morning. He does ride on an irritating sounding scooter. What a way to wake up the neighborhood.

I think I will walk Tyke first and pay the bills next. It will be good to get some fresh air while it is still relatively quiet outside and the traffic hasn't started up yet. It's just beginning to become dawn.

Have a good day.

Ciao,
Nora

Early Monday Morning...

It's in the wee hours of the morning and as usual I found it necessary to be up and sit behind the computer when I ought to be in bed sleeping. But hey, there is enough time left for that. I do want to take advantage of the quiet hours before dawn and enjoy the stillness of the night. Already I look forward to the part that comes after this, when I will take my medicines and have breakfast and crawl back into bed with my good book, the end of which I am nearing. I went to sleep very early last night. I was completely done with the evening and ready to call it quits before it was even 9 pm. It was great to get under the covers with a cat by my feet and Jesker on his pillow. I didn't have a snack, which was kind of a shame, and I have to plan my grocery shopping better the next time, but it felt good to lie down anyway.

I was gone from this world in no time at all and slept like a log until I woke up in a sweat and had to get out of bed to cool off and go to the bathroom. Then I went and turned on the computer and made myself a cup of coffee and the rest is history. I do enjoy myself from that point forward, although it is amazing that I can go back to sleep after I have had those cups of coffee that I drink while I am up. I am also out of fruit juice, so I really have to plan my grocery shopping better, because I would be having a glass of that now.

Last night I prepared those packages of books I still have to send. I'm also sending a book to my daughter that I accidentally ordered twice. I lost track of all the books I had, there were so many coming in at one point. I'm going to try and not order any new books this month, because I have enough to read, but it is difficult, because I have so many on my wish list and I'm always discovering new ones. I literally have an itch in my head to go to Bol.com and order a book, but I must contain myself. I first have to read a bunch of the books I already have and then I can order more. You are all witness to me stating this, now watch me break my own rule in the shortest amount of time. I have an addiction. I'm keeping track now off all the new books I have in a notebook. That way I won't make the mistake of ordering the same book twice. The most important thing is to not run out of money.

It's going to be 3C today and you know what? Any time it is not freezing and there is no strong wind blowing, it is pleasant outside. That shows you how quickly you can be happy with the least improvement in weather and how miserable it is to have freezing temperatures and wind. 3C is only 37F, so it's not very warm, but it feels good and so much better than -3C.

I've just had a glass of cold milk and now I will get a plugged up nose, but I was so thirsty for something cold to drink, that I couldn't resist the temptation. That's why I needed that fruit juice. The milk is already making my eczema itch. I can have it boiled in porridge but not cold in a glass. It makes me itch all over. Maybe it was not really worth it. Oh well...

I just offered Jesker a treat, but he walked away in disgust and went to sleep at the other end of the room. He still doesn't want to eat, but he's drinking a lot of water. I have to keep checking his water bowl to make sure there is fresh water in it and not the slobbered kind. He's moving around a bit easier and he's a little more alert. I will try and take him to the field again today and see if he walks a bit better.

Okay, it's time for the next part. I'm going to take my medicines and have breakfast. Yippee!

Have a good morning, you all.

Ciao,
Nora

Improvement.

Jesker slept a lot today and I thought it was going to be a repeat of yesterday. I napped on the sofa beside him and woke up every once in a while to check on him. Suddenly he got up and drank a lot of water, so I took him by his collar and guided him out back to do a piddle. He was so weak that he didn't even lift his leg and went straight back to sleep. Some time later he started walking around a bit and I thought that was the perfect opportunity to put him on the leash and take him to the edge of the field for a poop, which he had not done in three days. We very slowly zigzagged over there and he did do a poop and we walked back home again, so it was a very tiny outing, but it was an outing nevertheless and when we were inside he went straight to his water bowl and drank more water. I tried to give him his pill wrapped in a slice of salami, but I've been unsuccessful so far. He refuses to eat and spits out everything I shove down his throat (I just tried it again and was successful). He's losing weight, but he can stand it, because he was overweight, so I'm not too concerned about that yet.

So, there was a little improvement today, although he's gone straight back to sleep again. His breathing is not as labored, so that is good. He's paying a bit more attention to his surroundings and the cats. He grumbles at them, like he's always done.

I feel that I can breathe a little easier and get on with normal life again, almost. We're not out of the woods yet. I do want him to start eating again and to be able to walk a little distance. I will take him back to the vet on Wednesday, when he is done with his antibiotics, unless there is a major improvement.

There are things that I need to do that I have been putting off and that I need to get around to now. It's back in the saddle for me. Enough of this loafing about in this half asleep state. Back to work.

The first things I have to do is get some packages ready to send and fill in some important documents. Oh, ho hum, when not in the mood, you have to make yourself.

Ciao,
Nora