Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Getting over the blues.

I had a bad case of the blues on Monday after a couple of days of being emotionally wobbly. I felt a bit better by Tuesday after talking it over with the Exfactor and my sister and also being allowed to cry on their respective shoulders. I felt a lot better today and almost canceled the appointment I had with my psychiatrist because I thought I was in such good shape that I didn't need it. I felt that I could take on the world again, but was smart enough to know that therein lurked the danger of ending up in the opposite mood and that soon I'd start feeling like I was the Empress of my own realm.
Luckily, my psychiatrist knew what to do and had me participate with him in a metaphorical story in which all the different aspects of me got to play a role. Soon the side of me that was the most sensible, and resided in the middle ground, came to the foreground and that's the one that has been in charge since then. My psychiatrist showed me that I don't have to flee into extreme behavior, but that I can take little bits of each and still hover somewhere in the middle where it is comfortable. The real art of being me, will be to one day do that without medication.
I didn't wake up until 8 o'clock this morning, although I tried to be briefly coherent last night after I went to bed real early. I was so surprised when I looked at the alarm clock and saw what time it was, but I felt real good and hardly needed the coffee to wake me up. I had it anyway, don't get me wrong, because what would life be like without caffeine? I got a refill on my melatonin tablets and they were a different brand than usual. It may be my imagination, but I think they work better than the ones I had before, because I slept much better and sounder than I usually do.
I checked my bank account and saw that I had just enough money to go grocery shopping one more time, so I did that after I very carefully made a shopping list so I wouldn't spend too much money. I decided not to wait until Friday in case the money would no longer be there. It was raining steadily when I went to the store, but I was going for a good cause, so it was worth it. I stuck very close to the list and got everything I needed, and when I had to pay the total at the cash register, it came within 12 cents of what there was left in my bank account. I thought that was pretty darn good.
And now I have to make dinner because I am very hungry. I could eat the proverbial horse. If there is one thing I have, it is a good appetite. It is a good thing that my stomach is so agreeable to the food I eat now.  


Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Good for you to find people to talk to and release those feelings--and learn that you CAN respond in lots of ways. Hugs to you.

Gail said...

A good support system is more valuable than we know.