Wednesday, September 11, 2013

In which I complain...

This is a post in which I complain because I have got an awfully painful knee. I will not contemplate going to bed for a while until the pain has lessened because I am sure that I will not be able to go to sleep with it like this. I have just taken some paracetamol and that will have to do the job, so let's hope it starts to work soon. In the meantime, I am trying to find the most comfortable position to sit in and what to do with my leg so my knee will not be bothered so much.
I had to get this off my chest because there is nobody here to complain about it to and it was necessary that I did. It makes me feel just a bit better to be able to do that. If you share what is bothering you, you lessen the load you carry. Isn't that true? When you live on your own, you don't get to share your gripes much and every once in a while you do feel the need to do that. That is not because you need sympathy, but simply because you need to air your frustration.
Having had enough coffee, I am now drinking lemonade at a rate as if there is going to be a shortage of it. Whichever medicine is responsible for it, is still causing me to always have an enormous thirst. Some days I can not even produce enough spit for the glue strip to close an envelope with and I end up taping it closed. Luckily, postage stamps are self sticking.
After having been unsure about the nature of my feelings most of my life, I am step by step coming out of the closet and have joined the website of 'Roze 50 Plus', which is for older gay people. Instead of being discombobulated about this, I feel very much at ease and a great deal of calm as if I am finally doing the right thing. There is a café downtown that is called 'Café Roze' and there regularly are special nights and Sunday afternoons for the older crowd and it is my intention to go there.
I am also checking out the official website that is run by the gay union. There is lots of information on it and also a chance to meet other gay people. I have a lot to contemplate and take in and Rome was not built in one day.
I feel that I am taking on the rest of my identity and that this was the missing piece. I will be a whole person from now on and no longer pivoting on an edge. I will be able to say: this is all of me and I like it.   


Z said...

I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end - you're absolutely right, it's good to get things off your chest. I suppose you've told your doctor about your thirst?

And congratulations on your self-affirmation. Knowing who you are and that you're taking the right steps can take a long time, but will be liberating and I hope you receive support from people who will surely understand the situation you have been in.

Gail said...

I've been trying to convince you to get out more...just didn't know where to suggest. Now you know, enjoy.