Waking up!

I suppose when it really comes down to it, I don't so much write for the sake of you as I write for the sake of myself. I mean that I have a compulsion to write at certain times of the day even when I don't have anything noteworthy to report. I just need to sit here and tell a story and I don't know if I tell you the story or if I tell myself it. I guess it is a letter to myself to remind me of what I have done and thought and mused over and observed, yet if that were completely true I might as well write it in a notebook and not make it public, so obviously I need an audience and feedback. I write an ego document that I want to make known. But I'll try to write as if I'm the only witness to it, though I doubt very much if that is possible. Even Anne Frank wrote to an imaginary friend she called 'Dear Kitty.'

I'll set the scene. I'm sitting here in my very warm, red bathrobe by the desk lamp with my cup of coffee and the inevitable cigarette. My feet are still bare, but soon I will get my slippers on, because my feet will get cold and my toes will feel like ice cubes. The dog is asleep on his blanket, but has been over here to be petted several times. He wags his stubby tail and gives me a mournful look that means, "Don't neglect me."

Outside there is still a little bit of snow, but not very much. Only in the places where the sunshine doesn't reach during the day are there a couple of centimeters. It is 0C outside and it's supposed to be snowing now, but I see no evidence of it. Oh yes, I just had a better look and it is snowing indeed. It's supposed to do that the rest of the day also if I'm supposed to believe the weather forecast on my browser.

I didn't fall asleep until almost midnight. For some reason I went to bed late and read for a long time. I also ate Pringle's Onion and Cheese potato chips. Those were very nice, but made me very thirsty. They must be very salty and I probably had a week's worth of sodium last night. I don't recommend anyone doing this before they go to bed. It's a foolish thing to do. I shouldn't even buy them, but sometimes it is hard to withstand them when you're in the supermarket and you see them there so invitingly on the shelf. I shouldn't go down that aisle anymore. It's actually easy to avoid. I have no business being there.

I can't go back to sleep this morning, because I have to go to the tobacconist and he is only open in the mornings on Mondays. In a little while I have to take my medicines and when I'm done writing this I'll take the dog for his walk. Maybe I'll lie down on the sofa after I've gotten my tobacco. In the afternoon I have to go see my GP for the results of the blood tests and I have been trying to figure out all weekend what he wants to talk to me about that he couldn't discuss over the telephone. It's a mystery to me. I suppose it's normal for me to say that I'm just a little bit worried.

Well, that's all the sharing I have to do this morning. It's not very deep, but I'm not in the mood for an intellectual post today. I have other things on my mind. I'm preoccupied.

Have a nice day!

Ciao.

Getting somewhere...

I'm momentarily in a very clear state of mind. All my synapses are working in good order and I can think straight. It's a temporary condition due to having gotten enough rest and seeing the forest for the trees again. I rested the whole morning until about one pm, when the Exfactor showed up to clean house for me like he had promised that he would. You have no idea what a godsend he was when he grabbed the vacuum cleaner and proceeded to vacuum the whole apartment and very thoroughly too. It was wonderful, because it needed to happen so badly and I could not do it myself. While he did that, I hung up a load of laundry and put another load in the machine, so I was not completely idle.

We then had coffee together and an interesting discussion about public transport and rush hour traffic and the solutions to that and then the Exfactor tackled the kitchen and the dishes and it was with so much relief that I saw him do that, because it had seemed like an impossible job to me. I dried the dishes and put them away, but he did all the hard work, thank goodness. He´s coming back next week to do the rest of the jobs and I am so glad about that. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now I can enter the weekend with peace in my heart and not feel like I have all of this hovering over my head. He´s a great guy.

I had to call my GP´s office today to get the results of the blood tests, but all I know so far is that my thyroid levels were too high, which surprised me, because I was expecting them to be too low, explaining my extremely low energy, but you do get symptoms from a too high functioning thyroid too and mentally it effects you also and makes you more nervous and edgy. It may have been this way for quite a while, because it´s been two years since it was last checked and I should have it done every year. I´ll have to look up the symptoms for a hyperactive thyroid.

My GP wants to discuss the rest of the blood test results with me personally, so I have an appointment with him Monday afternoon. So, I´m still in the dark about that, but maybe there´s something there that´s going to explain my extreme tiredness. Now I´ll have to wait a whole three days, which I don´t like, but that´s the way it is. The more I think about it, the more I think there´s something physically wrong that can be put to rights and that this is the reason why I have been feeling so bad and slowly going downhill, because it´s my body that refuses to function and that is dragging me down, although that maybe wishful thinking on my part. At least I know my thyroid isn´t functioning properly.

I just took the dog for a walk in the rain and it was refreshingly nice. It wasn´t raining hard, but it was a bit cold and it put some color on my cheeks. Jesker wasn´t too enthused about walking in the rain, but did what he had to do and we only made our small walk. That was enough for now. We weren´t heroes today. He´s doing well and is eating his normal amount of food again and he´s not acting demented anymore, so that really was because of the illness, so if that happens again, I´ll know to take him to the vet immediately. That means he´s got a fever and is delirious. Oh, how awful that I didn´t know that.

Well, that´s all the exciting news I have to tell you for right now. That as long a post as I can handle for now. I have to go and check my emails and visit some blogs. I haven´t done that in a while. You must all think that I´ve deserted you.

Ciao,
Nora