Sorting my marbles...

Today I found myself in something which resembled a depression and I couldn't believe it because, after all, I had taken all my pills at the right time and made sure I got enough sleep. I tried very hard to feel more cheerful and to put a bounce in my step, but it was all to no avail, so this afternoon I lied down for another nap. 

When I woke up, I thought things might be different, but they weren't and all the while what was nagging at the back of my mind were the changes I had made to my blogs and that I was really uncomfortable with. I had tried to push these thoughts away, but apparently they were bothering me more than I was giving them credit for. 

I took my medicines and made a pot of coffee and turned on the computer. I had a good look at those blogs and the layouts and could see that they were hopelessly inadequate. I had wanted them too badly and had not considered the practicality of them. I had taken a wrong turn simply because I had discovered something new and it was for free and I could apply it. 

Undoing everything and getting the blogs back to a more normal and practical look didn't take all that long. Blogger is very user friendly that way and very forgiving. It remembers everything you thought you had deleted.

I have to say that I feel a bit better now. I feel that I've saved myself from a terrible fate and that is of losing all my readers because the layouts were so bad and hard to read. But I think it's also the coffee and the medicines and the nap that have done their share to make me feel better. It's a combination of everything, most likely. 

Hopefully, I'll start looking at my world through rose colored glasses again like I was lately. It certainly was a friendlier place, although I suppose that you can't have equally happy days all the time. 

I frankly do count on that and am always very disappointed if my days aren't. I get very discouraged and take it as a bad sign. I think that I haven't had enough happy days yet in my lifetime. I haven't accumulated enough to have enough experience with them and to know they will always return. 

I think I'm in too contemplative a mood. I must get over it. I've got to go find my sense of humor somewhere. I've got to go find the unbearable lightness of being. 

Ciao
Nora

Toppling out of my chair and other dangers...

Despite the fact that I exhausted myself with hanging out behind the computer obsessively today, I found myself lying in bed unable to go to sleep. I tried it for over an hour, but then got up and decided to try it again later when maybe I am even more exhausted. 

I'm purposely not having any coffee now, as is my usual habit to, and am instead drinking cold milk which will be mellow on my brain. Caffeine would wake me up too much and keep me awake for hours, although it would get me in an excellent mood, but I'm in a good enough mood right now, so I think I will not try to artificially alter it.

I'm very mellow and slightly sleepy headed and there's something that can be said for this state of mind. It certainly is one of calm serenity. I will have to check my vital signs of life for activity any minute now. I hope I'll still feel a heartbeat and not to shallow a breath. I do want to be attentive yet. Some brain activity would be good too. A comatose condition would not be good until I'm back in bed. 

Oh for God's sake, I'm yawning something awful. I must make a cup of coffee if I'm going to sit here and finish this post...

All done, and now I can wake up a little bit. Not too much, but just enough not to topple out of this chair or end up with my forehead on the keyboard. These are the dangers of late night blogging that nobody warns you about. You have to find them out on your own. 

Little by little I'm coming to my senses and the sleepiness is clearing up. I'm still yawning, but they are the last vestiges of sleep. I feel my mood soaring to new heights and I'm getting my second wind. This promises something for tonight. I will have to keep myself occupied for a while before I go back to bed. It's too bad that I'm all finished changing the layouts to my blogs because it would be perfect to work on them for a bit now. 

I will see what other sorts of interesting things I can keep my mind occupied with until I'm ready to go to sleep again. It is apparent now that I'm in a good mood and that I mustn't let it go to waste. It's too bad that these things strike me at night when I ought to be asleep. At least tomorrow is Sunday when I can do what I want and sleep late. I will take full advantage of that. 

I hope you're all having a good night and a great weekend. 

Ciao,

Nora