It's alright now...

I'm entering day four of not smoking. I've just taken my medicines and put on a fresh nicotine patch. It didn't feel as though the old one had stopped working. I think the effect is psychological also. As long as you wear it, you think you're protected. It doesn't matter why it works as long as it does.

Every day of not smoking gets a little bit easier. The urge to light up a cigarette is still there, but I get over the disappointment of not being able to quicker. There's simply no way that I can, so wishing to is an exercise in futility. I immediately have to put the whole idea out of my head. That's the best part about not having any tobacco in the apartment. There's absolutely no temptation. 

If I don't manage to keep myself busy and distracted, I take naps to make the time pass by. It's one way to forget about not being able to smoke if it bothers me a lot. It's usually during the day when I've run out of things to do and I've already walked the dog a few times. I'm usually able to sleep for at least an hour or so. That gets me over the worst craving. 

Yesterday I went to Ikea with my sister. We got there early in the morning before it opened, but already there were plenty of people there. I had a shopping list of things I wanted to get and just had to locate the items in the store and in the warehouse. 

I got a rattan armchair to replace my other armchair whch I have put in the bedroom where it looks very good. It was time that I decorated the bedroom more also and I wanted something different in the living room. I also had to get the thick, soft seat cushion that went with the chair which was located in a whole different place in the warehouse, very unlogically.

I wanted to make sure that I got a good seat cushion because of the comfort of sitting down on it for any length of time and not getting a sore rear end. I have learned my lesson in the past. I also wanted to buy some throw pillows and I thought I had the ones picked out that I wanted, but when I actually saw them, I liked them less than I thought I would. 

Luckily, I spotted some that I had not seen on the website and that had the colors in them that I wanted so the choice was easily made. They were to put in the two armchairs that are in the living room to support your back when you sit in them. They are also for the extra touch of decoration, of course.

I had to get a new curtain to cover the door that is between the spare bedroom and the living room that I don't use and that is always closed. The curtain that was there didn't fit in the color scheme anymore and was old besides. I had thrown it out. I had picked out the new one on Ikea's website and luckily it turned out to be as nice as I had anticipated. 

When I got home. the curtain turned out to be much too long and I had to pin it up. Today I will have to shorten it, but because the sewing machine isn't working, I will have to fix the hem with iron on sticky tape.

Because of the paintings, the colors that have returned to the interior of the living room are red and orange. Subconsciously, I am now drawn to these two colors and gravitate towards them for whatever little touches I can add. They are both lively and cheerful colors so that's no problem. Both of them are in the throw pillows that I bought.

Except for fixing the hem of the curtain, I don't have much to do today. I had been planning on taking two creative therapy classes, but now there is an issue with the insurance company maybe not paying for them. It is up in the air and I have to keep my fingers crossed. I need to have a busier schedule. It is important that I am more active and see more people. I will have to make the most of the day in the meantime. 

I've got to get dressed and walk the dog. It is that time of the morning already. I hope you'll all have a good day and that you enjoy your interiors. 

Ciao,

Nora

Not smoking...

I've had two days of not smoking now and I must say that it's not always easy. I think about cigarettes and wanting to smoke one a lot. There are times when it is almost constantly on my mind.

Luckily, I am unable to smoke because I have removed all the tobacco from the apartment. There is none here that I can make cigarettes with in a moment of temptation. I find that much easier to deal with because now if I get those cravings for them, I don't have to worry about giving into them. I can go ahead and acknowledge the craving and know that there's nothing I can do about it.

I find it easier to drink a cup of coffee without a cigarette than to drink a glass of milk without one. I don't know why that is. I haven't yet started to compensate for the lack of cigarettes by starting to eat more. Maybe that is because I have the nicotine patch.

I have been told that regardless, I will gain a couple of kilos because everybody does once they stop smoking. It's a small price to pay, I think. It has to do with the slowing down of your metabolism or something along those lines. It was explained to me by the person who I had an appoinment with at the doctor's office, but I don't quite remember it all now.

Enough about that. There are other things in life than quitting smoking, although it doesn't seem that way right now.  I am sort of preoccupied with it at the moment.

This morning I'm going to Ikea with my sister to pick up the things I will need to finish transforming the living room. I've got my shopping list all ready to go and I know that the items I want are available. I'm looking forward very much to going and buying the things I need, but I'm looking forward even more to coming home with them and putting them in place.

Yesterday afternoon, when I was feeling unsettled, I took the dog for a long walk, much to the pleasure of the dog. We took a route that we seldom take and the dog was well behaved. He didn't dawdle everywhere. We walked at a pretty steady pace and when we got home I really felt that we had gotten some exercise.

When I still proved to be uneasy because of the non smoking policy, I went to bed and took a nap. I had changed the sheets and very gladly got in between them. The nap got me over the worst part of the cravings. It's funny that the daytime should be the worst for missing the cigarettes. I had not expected that. I thought it would be worse during the nighttime, like right now.

This is, after all, when I have the most fun and when I indulge in all my pleasures. I let it all hang out during the night, or so I thought. Apparently I'm not as out of control as I thought I was. I am, for the most part, just as sensible during the night as I am during the day. There goes my reputation as a fun girl. It's completely shot.

I must go back to bed now. I have nothing interesting left to write about and I want to go to sleep so it will be morning soon. I'm like a kid anticipating a school outing.

Ciao,
Nora

A tale of awareness...

There's an awful lot of temptation in just repeating myself and telling you the same story I told you yesterday, but that would be awfully boring. It would make my job easier, because I would not have to put so much effort into writing this post. It would practically write itself. 

Instead I have to take care and really do my best to put down something interesting. I can't lie down on the job. If I'm going to sit here and spend my time putting down words, they may as well be good ones and carry some weight. Otherwise I may as well shut off the computer and hang up my blogs in the willows.

That doesn't mean I actually have something of interest to say. That's another matter all together.  I always hope I do because the need to write is big. There's nothing I like better than sitting here behind the keyboard and coming up with stuff to write about. I have an enormous ego that needs to be fed and blogging is one way it's done. 

Forget about sharing my most inner self and the need to unload my secrets. Mostly I want a way to display myself and what better way to do it than to try and get other people to read my words. Probably that's reflective of some sort of insecurity in myself, don't you think? 

Regardless, whatever my true reason, I do like to sit here and come up with some nonsense and I must say that there's enough of it out there too, but I read it all with the most attention that I can. I really care about it. I care about the people who write it too. We're all basically decent human beings who do our best. 

No, it's not all nonsense that's out there. You really learn a lot from reading other people's blogs. You learn a lot about human nature and at the very least how not to behave. You can always say to yourself, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." If you open up your eyes well enough, you see your own follies too. 

The sooner you learn about human nature, the better. It's preferable not to fool yourself about it. If you're like me, you've learned to ignore a lot of it, but that's not a good idea. Never stop questioning it. It's for your own good if you don't. 

I have to walk the dog and eat dinner. It's that time of the evening again. The day has gone by quickly, but then again, I was surrounded by people. I didn't really enjoy their company and couldn't wait for them to be gone. Today I prefer my own company and the dog's and the cat's. Sometimes it is better that way.

I hope you'll all have a good evening. It's overcast and cold here. Brrr...

Ciao,

Nora