I must remember to take my naps on time and not wait so long. It would be better if I took one right when I got home in the afternoon, but I'm too stubborn to go lie down then and think I should do half a dozen other things, none of which are really important when you get down to it. I keep going until I look cross eyed from exhaustion and have to drag my body over to the sofa for a good bit of sleep.
Someone told me today that it's all the medication I take that makes me so tired and maybe that is true. Fact remains, I have to take it and I guess I can blame it on the tranquilizers that I still take and that the psychiatrist wants to wean me off in the future.
So, now I'm awake again, sort of, and I'm drinking a mug of decaf, but frankly, it isn't doing much for me, so I think I will have some regular coffee next, or some coke, that may do the job as well. I need some caffeine, because I'm yawning something awful.
I had the other creative therapy today, the one in which I make the doodles. Well, the doodles are done now and I remembered to take some pictures of the last two and here they are:
Our regular therapist was on vacation so we had a stand in, one of the male therapists who happens to be handsome in a very rugged way. He has blond hair and blue eyes and is quite handsome. He came and sat next to me while I was working on my last doodle and let me tell you, I am very much a full blooded heterosexual female, because I wanted to pull that man right into my bed. I lusted after him with my whole being. I felt it radiating right off me like an aura and I thought for sure that he was going to notice something.
I didn't do anything, though. I kept right on working on my doodle with my head bent over the paper. I didn't think flirting was in order. I was happy for the feeling. I didn't think I had it in me anymore.
Anyway. After my last doodle was done in the afternoon session, I started to paint. I picked out an abstract postcard and a large piece of paper and acrylic paints and started in the middle of the page. Some colors I have to blend, and, as this is the first time I'm doing a painting, I have to guess at what I'm doing and so far I'm guessing right.
For the afternoon session we had a different therapist and she was fussy and forgetful. She wanted to be involved in every aspect of what you were doing, but then forgot to follow up on what she was going to do for you, so I decided not to depend on her for help and figure things out for myself. If I did need her to do something for me, I guided her through the process, like you would a child.
Jesker was behind the front door again when I came home. I guess he wants to "hear" when I come home. He's asleep there, because he scrambles to his feet when I push the door open. Gandhi is always there too, but I know she can hear me come home.
Well now people, I have to go to bed. Tomorrow I have ergo therapy and I have to get up at 7 am. Oh, this morning I weighed 94.6 kilos. I've lost more than 5 kilos now.
Ciao...
