Staying up late...

Like I've said before, I have to take advantage of the times in my circadian cycle when I feel best and perform then, and be awake and enjoy myself and and not look at the clock and do what it tells me to do or what I think I ought to do. There is no ought to, there is only this minute and this moment on which I feel good and when I don't want to do anything else than what I am doing. Namely sit here by the light of my desk lamp with a cup of coffee and a cigarette and write my thoughts down, whatever they amount to. Soon enough I will get tired and find my way to the bedroom. There's no amount of built in guilt that's going to make me feel different about that. I hear a chorus of warning voices, but it's just an echo that has been repeated many times over and I'm becoming deaf to it. I'm listening to my own voice now, stubborn and foolhardy as I am. I've got my own survival mode and it's working. I know more happy moments now than I do in any other way. I'm glad I've got it all figured out. There's a method to my madness.

Quite coincidentally two separate people asked me about the same author. Both Angie and Connie Rose asked me if I had read anything by Diana Gabaldon. I had never heard of this author and looked her up on Bol.com and found out that she had written a whole series of books of which the 'Outlander' is the first one. It seems to be worth a try, especially when two people recommend her on the same day. Babaloo also recommended a book by John Irving called 'Until I Find You.' She says it's another one of John Irving's really good books, so I added that one to my list of books to get. So you see how this discussion about books leads to recommendations of other books and that is exactly what I want to happen. Please feel free to recommend a book if you've read a good one. I'll be happy to look it up if I haven't read it yet, or mention it here if I have. This can slowly turn into a book blog if I read fast enough. or if you people come with enough recommendations.

I cleaned up the apartment the French way, as we say here in the Netherlands. That means I got rid of everything that could be put in the trash and slightly organized things that were unorganized. It doesn't mean that I did any real cleaning. I closed my eyes to that and I wished for a better day to come along when I'll be struck by the cleaning genie. I know it will happen, it's just a matter of having patience. The chaos is under control and I know exactly what I have to do to set it right.

Except for an individual patch here and there, the snow and ice are all gone. I can see the streets and the sidewalks again and not be in danger of breaking my neck when I walk the dog. It is such a relief. The temperatures are good right now and it's not going to be freezing anymore, so hurray! It's darn near balmy now when I go outside. I don't have to wear my snow hat or my gloves and it feels like it is going to be springtime. What an optimist I am. It's still January, anything can happen. It's so nice to be liberated from that snow and ice. It was a real bother. It suddenly disappeared very quickly. I hope that's all the winter we're going to have for this season, but we're not out of the woods yet. We still have to get through February and March and they are unpredictable months.

I did make it through the bad weather without falling down once, though, although all the while I had visions of myself with a broken leg in a cast and no way to walk the dog and all the problems that would bring. I also worried about the dog slipping and hurting himself because of his osteoarthritis, but he did real well. He was pretty steady on his feet. He slipped a little now and then, but he didn't hurt himself. That's the advantage of walking on all fours.

I think I need to go to bed now. It's late enough and I am going to be up soon enough again. It will be nice to get my pajamas on and to get something to eat and have a glass of juice to drink. The dog is already sleeping on his pillow in the bedroom. I think that's where the cats are too.

Have a good night. Sleep tight. It is 5C here.

Ciao,
Nora

Yes, I know...

I'm up in the middle of the night. I woke up at 2:30 am and was wide awake and not a bone in my body thought about going back to bed. All I could think of was getting up and having myself a cup of coffee and a lovely solitary time behind the computer. It doesn't make any difference anyway. I slept all night the other night and yesterday I napped on the sofa almost all day, in between reading my book, and felt grouchy most of the day. The only time I felt good was later in the evening, after I had some cups of coffee and wrote this post, which you really shouldn't miss, because it's so upbeat and interesting if you like books.

So, I guess I am not that impressed with the positive effects of a whole night's sleep. I think an interrupted sleep works just as well, if not better, and I seem to get through the day in a more positive way too. It is like some of you said, as long as I get my sleep, it doesn't matter when I get it and I do want to take advantage of the periods in my 24 hour cycle when I am most happy, such as right now. I wasn't happy during the day yesterday, but saw everything with gloom and doom and only my book and my naps saved me from sinking into a deep hole. I suppose I don't handle the daytime well. I think it's the worst time in the 24 hour cycle.

It's lovely to be up now and have my coffee and cigarettes and see the dog appear every now and then, who comes to see what I am doing and then retreats back to the bedroom to sleep. The cats are also so occupied.

It's actually not freezing outside. It's 4C and raining and more of the ice has melted, although it still looks like a big mess out there. It's not going to be freezing anymore for the next couple of days, so maybe we will get rid of all this slush. Everyone who loves to skate will not like it, but the rest of us will breathe a sigh of relief when all the ice is gone. The Exfactor used my bike the other day and it has left a dried up puddle of mud in the hallway. It's another one of those chores that needs to get done.

I've finished the first chapter of 'Prodigal Summer' and started on the second one. I already love the book. It is so full of interesting bits of information and so well written without any awkwardness in the sentences. You never have to read a sentence twice to make sure of what you just read. It flows like a stream in a meadow, very naturally and smoothly. It's a narrative tale and it's just like somebody is telling you a very fascinating story. It's written with love and attention to detail.

Well, I'm sitting here sunk away in my own thoughts and remembering all the books I've read and how many of them I'd like to read again. I will get to that point sooner or later. There are so many novels to read still and so many new ones coming out each year in paperback. I've got plenty of catching up to do. I'm not worried about running out of reading material and there are always people telling me about authors they've read and loved. Because of a friend of mine, I read the novels of Garcia Marquez and really enjoyed them, but when I started to read his autobiography I didn't like it, because I thought he was an exaggerator who made things up, which is really the power of his novels, the fact that he can make up the most fantastical things. I suppose I just didn't want him to do it about his real life. At least, that's the impression I got.

I was into reading (auto)biographies for a while, but have since lost interest in them. There were a few people I was curious about and I read their's and maybe in the future I will read more, but I almost think it is better not to know too much about the people whose work you admire and let the work speak for itself, at least until you're done with it, otherwise you'll never approach it with the same unbiased feelings again. There's a lot I don't want to know. I don't need to know about the private lives of these people.

In the meantime, between being lost in thoughts and answering emails and writing this post, it has become morning and I have to eat breakfast and go back to bed. I am more than looking forward to it. The alarm clock has gone off already, so I won't be awakened by it. I have taken my medicines and I am ready to go read my book.

I wish you all a very nice Sunday and lots of pleasant weather and many good books to read.

Ciao,
Nora