Friday, September 02, 2011

Oh, booger snot...

I shouldn't say that I'm in an excellent mood when all I mean is just the temporary absence of pain and stress. That does not make an excellent mood. In my naivety I call it so. An excellent mood is something completely different. It does not mean a woman who quietly sits behind her computer and feels a sense of relief for however long it lasts. People in excellent moods, seize the world. I certainly don't do that. I have yet to seize the world. 

When I woke up for the second time yesterday morning, I was depressed and whatever cheerful mood I claimed to have had earlier was gone. I now put great question marks by these so called cheerful moods I have. They are all of short duration and are apparently very shallow. I think that all they are are temporary absences of stress and pain. It's all momentary forgetfulness. 

For a while, when I just started taking the tranquilizers, they helped me forget too, but now they don't seem to work anymore. I don't really notice any effect from them. I'm starting to feel the same amount of stress and depression I felt before. I'm becoming immobilized again.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist first thing in the morning. I'm not very optimistic because I don't know what can be done, but maybe he has an idea. I am, however, very discouraged. 



Connie Rose said...

So sorry sweetie. Don't know what else to say. Sending you much love.

CAMILLA said...

Hello Nora,

Please do let us know how all goes with your psychiatrist, I saw one for ten months many years ago and the medication seemed to have helped at the time too.

Lots of best wishes to you Nora, and just to say I am thinking of you. Thanks for the lnk to your new blog, could not access it before.