Thursday, May 17, 2012

Some thoughts...

I have just woken up from a nap and for the first time today hardly feel any stress. That nap must have helped me get over it. Maybe I needed the sleep to reset my mind. Maybe I wasn't ready this morning to get up out of bed yet. I may have gotten up prematurely. 

Whatever it was, I'm doing a lot better now and am much more relaxed. It is possible too that I am because the day is almost over and it isn't looming ahead of me anymore with all its responsibilities. Not that I have that many but I'm always accutely aware of the role I play in my own life and that of the animals and I never do feel quite in charge. 

That is until I have taken a nap in the afternoon and get up again. For some reason everything seems much simpler then and I can face life as it is with whatever comes with it. I do count my blessings at the end of the day. 

I felt too much stress earlier to do the relaxation exercises that I learned yesterday although they doubtlessly would have helped me very much. I kept waiting for the right moment to do them but it never came. I suppose that I'm going to have to create the right moment myself. I keep reaching for old methods while new ones should work now. I just have to try and get into the habit. 

In another life, I used to do a lot of gardening and my mind has been going back to that time. I'm thinking about the things I would have done differently knowing what I do now and how I would create a garden if I had the opportunity to do so again.

More than anything, gardening was a very relaxing activity. It was something I got lost in and could spend hours doing. When I was not actually gardening, I spent much time looking at the garden while I enjoyed drinking a cup of coffee and smoked my cigarettes. It was a great pleasure to watch things grow and you do have to have patience for that. 

I would enjoy that kind of activity again and I dream about having another garden in California. Maybe some day my wish will come true. 



VioletSky said...

Well, today is Ascension Day. So it seems you have also ascended.

Gail said...

You could have a window box garden.