Skipping on the path to enlightenment...

It's in the middle of the night again and I'm up to my usual business with my cups of coffee and my cigarettes, albeit that I'm good mooded and in possession of all my faculties. Meaning that I'm not downcast and I'm not suffering from a dip in my self esteem and I'm generally feeling in charge of things. 

My adult self is sitting here being very reasonable and I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary to take place while I sit here and have this one sided monologue.

I don't expect out of the ordinary highs and journeys to the top of the mountain of my psyche for incredible views. I'll leave that sort of chasing for the rainbow to other people more inclined to reaching their individual places of Nirvana. I want to keep both feet firmly planted on the ground underneath my desk chair and very much stay in the moment. 

The title is of this post is misleading because I'm not at all skipping on the path to enlightenment. There's no skipping to be done. There's only a slow walk during which you have a long sit down every once in a while to observe yourself and your surroundings and to absorb the material you've been handed. 

Skipping would be too much like fluttering along like a butterfly from flower to flower, easily moving from one to the other and picking up bits of knowledge as if they were nectar that you quickly absorbed. 

Real life is not like that. It is much more like drudgery in which you have to do a lot of hard work very often repeatedly and you know that this is something you're going to have to do for the rest of your life. It's a job of dedication. 

There are rewards, of course, and those are that you get to be in touch with your sanity and lead a more normal and healthy life. At least, after this brief time of practicing my own brand of mindful living, that has been my experience. 

As I gain more knowledge, I assume I will become more proficient at managing it, though I will never live under the mistaken assumption that I'll ever be done with it. It will be an ongoing project. A way of life. 

I shared my newly won insights with my psychiatrist yesterday and he was much pleased and thought I made complete sense. He closely wants to observe me during the start of this process, so I will see him again next week.

He recommended the writings of a Belgian Buddhist monk to me who is a bit of an expert on Mindfulness and I ordered a book by him yesterday that will get here tomorrow. I have to keep the momentum going. 

I want to read another book on healing the inner child as I have not read anything on the subject in a long while, although I remember much about it. I think it will be good to reacquaint myself with the subject matter. I do not want to miss any of the details as I'm combining the two disciplines into one therapeutic method for myself. 

Yesterday was a busy day, today is going to be an easy day with only the Exfactor coming to do the groceries. I will do my chores and practice living in the moment and having my sensible adult be in charge of my day. I'm looking forward to it.

I hope you'll all have a great day. Autumn is in the air. 

Ciao,

Nora