No profoundness...

Today I will mention the fact that I'm waiting for the coffeemaker to get done brewing my two cups of coffee which I am sorely in need of. It is at the end of the afternoon and I am having just a little bit of a dip so I need the caffeine to climb out of it again. There's no question of taking a nap now. It is too late in the day for that. 

My bed doesn't look all that appealing anyway because those sheets have been on there for at least five days and I really want clean ones. I'm waiting for my favorite duvet cover to get dry and then I'll change the bed. The apartment is clean and I want my bed to be also. But first I've got to have those cups of coffee. 

I will not be very profound today and tell you all sorts of wise things about myself and my life. I'll take a day off and resume that again tomorrow. I don't feel like being very profound right now. I just want to be an ordinary, every day sort of person who doesn't impress anyone with her wisdom.

It has been a most excellent day and I've spent it pleasantly in the company of the Exfactor and the domestic help like I do every Friday. I think Friday is one of my most favorite days and that is also because it is the day before the weekend. 

Friday gives me the opportunity to straighten out my life without having to go far afield to look for the answers. I've usually got them close at hand and then I've got the weekend to put them to the test. I can try out any theory I have and see if it fits before I have to apply it during the week. 

I can tell the caffeine is working because I'm suddenly better capable of reasoning. I'm climbing out of my dip and becoming a human being again. I'll be sitting on top of the world in a moment. 

I guess some days you're more thoughtful about your life than other days. More pensive, I suppose. Not so outwardly shouting and loud about it. I am considering my attitude, although my outlook hasn't changed. I'm as comfortable with myself as I was yesterday and very sure of myself too. 

A cloak of restrictions and general anxiety has fallen off my shoulders and I have been set free. I am closer to how I used to be which is good. I hoped to be this way again. I'm not afraid of this person. She's a good human being and I trust her.

Ciao,
Irene

Chilled to the bone...

It's with some amount of pleasure that I sit here with my cup of coffee and my cigarettes at the end of the afternoon. I thought initially that I was going to need a nap but once I had some caffeine in me, I quite perked up and now I feel like a million dollars. I haven't been in such a good mood for quite a while and it is very welcome. I won't analyze it because it's too precious for that. I will just accept it for what it is and enjoy it. 

The coffee tastes very good and I think with this cheap little coffeemaker I can't make a bad cup. It's really a primitive little thing and I really should get a much better one but it does turn out good coffee. I really think it's because of the measuring spoon that it came with. I'm finally getting the amount of ground coffee right. I was putting in way too much before and made coffee that knocked my socks off. 

The domestic help has been here and I can now look forward to the weekend which in my eyes has already started. I have the rest of this day off and I can do with it as I please. I will take advantage of that and totally indulge myself. I do feel I deserve it after a long suffering week of many moods and much stress. I sure as heck don't want to repeat that any time soon. Whose idea was that anyway.? 

The day went by quickly but it always does when you're in a good mood. The time flies by and I didn't get up all that late either. It rained in the morning but I paid it no mind and took the dog out between showers. The grass had been cut and all the buttercups and daisies in the fields were gone. I do dislike that because they looked so cheerful. I thought the buttercups especially looked very nice. 

The sun has come out and it is shining into the living room making it a little bit warmer in here. That does make a difference and I wish it would come out earlier in the day. When it gets chilly, I feel like putting on all my winter clothes and I´m sure it´s the wrong time of the year for that. You want to stay optimistic because it´s May, regardless of what the weather does. You dare the sun to come out and show itself. 

If I were downtown now, I would sit on a café terrace under an umbrella and have a hot chocolate. Then I would participate in our favorite sport and watch the people go by. That reminds me that I haven´t been to the movies in a while and I have no idea what´s showing. I must look on the film theater´s website and see what the latest movies are. 

It´s time to eat. I must feed my body too. I can´t live on coffee alone. 

I hope you´ll all have a good evening.

Ciao,

Irene

In the mood...

I'm always the most comfortable when I tell you that I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. It sets the stage, sort to say. I've taken a nap and now it's almost evening. Outside the sky looks threatening and it wouldn't surprise me if we got another terrible shower that we seem to get every evening. 

Inside it is a little chilly because I don't have the heater turned on yet. I don't know why I'm being so stubborn. I guess I'd rather sit here and freeze my buns off but the cup of hot coffee is warming me somewhat.

My mood is neither here nor there. It's unimportant and I'm not going to waste any words on it. The less said about it the better. 

This weekend the government collapsed and we will have new elections. A lot of people have been waiting for this to happen, including me. I was not too fond of the government and I hoped it would collapse. Still, I was pleasantly surprised when it did. 

It collapsed over the budgetary cut backs and how severe they were going to be and believe me, they were. Now it is hoped that all the other political parties come up with their better alternative budgets so we can make sensible decisions. 

Because of the summer holidays, the elections won't take place until September at the earliest. Everyone will get the time to prepare themselves properly. I already know which party I'm going to vote for, so I'm more than ready to.

There was also a train accident at the Central Station in Amsterdam. For some reason there were two trains on the same track that hit eack other head on. There were many wounded and a lot of them severe. For now it is unknown how these two trains ended up on the same track but there's going to be an investigation. 

So, despite the fact that I spent a lot of the weekend sleeping,  I did manage to stay well informed. I watched the news as events unfolded and took naps in between. I did miss most of the sports that were on but I'm going to watch the highlights tonight. A couple of football games were played today and I want to know their outcomes. 

Except for the news events, the weekend was quiet and went by quickly. I suppose I'm ready for the week to start. I'm not thrilled about it and frankly don't care much one way or the other. I suppose my mood could be better. I'm sure I'm affected by events more than I realize. 

Have a great evening.

Ciao,

Irene

Forgetfulness...

I'm glad it is the weekend and I can leave this awfully strange week behind me and have two very ordinary days. The reason I say it's been an awfully strange week, is because it feels as though it's been filled with out of the ordinary events and that it actually contained more than the ordinary amount of days. The days went by quickly enough but there seemed to be so many of them, making it look like a long week. Looking back on it now, it seems like a very odd time.

I'm more than ready for things to return to normal and for me to find my natural niche again, albeit in a somewhat modefied form. I do take my experiences and the lessons I learned from them with me, but I can't put my old self overboard and conjur up a whole new person. I think I was trying too hard to do that. I was forcing a metamorphosis on myself that was too far removed from my original self and it became painful. I can't chuck myself out with yesterday's rubbish.

To thine own self be true. 

I'm sitting here with a glass of cold milk in my comfortable, warm bathrobe, but in my mind I'm already going back to bed. I think I'm ready to go to sleep so I can start the weekend properly in the morning. 

Ciao,

Nora

Singlehandedly lucid...

I've downed my first cup of coffee as quickly as I could and now I'm drinking the second one at a more normal rate. I wanted to inhale the first one quickly so as to become clearheaded as soon as I could. I was slightly discombobulated when I got up and not completely in charge of all my faculties. Yet compelled to stay up I was anyway after having gone to the toilet and having let the dog out back. 

The cold night air did help a bit and it was great to stand by the back door in my pajamas. I purposely stood with the door wide open so I would get extra chilled. It was all the more pleasant to put my bathrobe on afterwards. But it's the coffee that's really waking me up as usual. The caffeine cleared all the cobwebs from my mind. 

For a change I made the coffee somewhat strong again and I must say that I appreciate the punch it's carrying. It's like having someone rattle your brain in a very pleasant but assertive way. I had forgotten that about strong coffee. I'm almost instantly carried to a higher plane by the caffeine. It's elevating my thinking capacities and putting me in a good mood. 

Actually, my mood was good enough when I woke up. It's not that I got up on the wrong side of the bed. I very seldom do that anymore. Mostly I'm a mild mannered woman when I wake up. Only rarely do I feel grumpy and that's easily remedied. I'm not the volatile woman I used to be, full of emotions and always on a roller coaster. I seldom take that ride anymore and if I do get on it, I get off as quickly as I can. 

But a contented person is a boring person and that's probably why these posts are not so very interesting anymore. I very seldom have anything earth shattering to report. I don't run into huge problems and don't on a daily basis spill all the beans like I used to. I feel that I mostly write for my own sake to keep a daily record of what I do. It's like writing in a diary and every once in a while I can look back on the days that have passed. 

The weekend went by very quickly and I hardly know where the time went. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but the hours sped by. I did the odd chore, walked the dog, took some naps and that was about it. I didn't even read like I had planned to. All I did was enjoy some 'Far Side' cartoons. I have a collection of them. I look at them every now and then and am always amused. They put an evil grin on my face. 

I'm glad it is Monday now and the week will be properly started. I'm ready for some action. The days of being lazy are over. But first I've got to go back to bed to get the rest of my sleep. The night's not nearly over yet, even though I'm already prepared to start the day. It's a little premature I think. 

I hope you're all sleeping tightly.

Ciao,

Nora

Weekends...

Much as I may have claimed otherwise in the past, I think I don't like weekends anymore. I think I'm finding out that they are really too dull. Today I experienced as a rather unexciting and long lasting day with not much interesting happening in it. And it seemed to take forever to get over and done with too. But I already said that.

True, there were cultural programs on TV in the morning and they redeemed the day to some extend. And the Exfactor came over to drink coffee and do some groceries for me, so I did have some distraction. But the rest of the day collapsed like a soufflé and I hardly knew what to do with it. There wasn't much shine to it despite the everlasting sunshine.

I may have been a very dull person myself today and have been incapable of thinking of anything exciting to do with my time. That's very possible. I normally don't need to be entertained to enjoy my time. I'm satisfied very quickly and am happy if I can be peacefully and quietly occupied with hardly anything at all. I could look for the cause inside myself. 

But outside it was dull also. There hardly were any people out there and the world seemed like an abandoned place. I don't know where everyone went, unless they all went to the beach on this first day of October when it was such beautiful weather.

Whichever is true, I have to make sure that I don't have another day like it tomorrow because now I feel like I've completely wasted the day. At least I could have contemplated my navel and I didn't even do that. I didn't live in the moment and took no proactive role in my life. I let the day slowly slip away from me without putting a stop to it. I didn't do any mindful living.

Aren't I hard on myself? I did get dressed and walk the dog and eat when it was time. I took my medicines and a nap. I was dutiful. I guess I want to be more than that.

Now I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee, but I'm about to go to bed with a glass of milk. I'm looking forward to it very much. I'm going to fluff up my pillows and lay me down to sleep gently. If all goes well, I should sleep until the morning. 

Have a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

Stealing the early hours of the morning....

I'm ever so content sitting here rather early in the morning with my cup of coffee and my cigarettes. I've got a half way decent day to look forward to and there's not much that can get in the way of my good mood and me, except that it will be raining today. 

Hopefully it will mostly be a drizzle like it was yesterday when it only rarely rained straight forward. I walked the dog in it and we did get wet, but it was no disaster. The dog got mostly damp on the bottom half from the wet grass he walked through. 

Luckily, there weren't any puddles for him to wade through because that's his favorite thing to do. He doesn't care if he gets wet. He's totally indifferent, so I think he must be related to a duck. 

The cat came in last night dappled in rain drops and I was afraid to pet her in case I made it worse. She sat on my lap and slowly dried and by the time I was ready to go to bed her fur was completely dried up again. 

She did very cozily find her warm spot to sleep on the bed. No doubt she had not enjoyed getting wet very much, knowing cats in general. Possibly she had been surprised by a shower while she was out. 

The leaves are starting to fall off the trees and I've already had to sweep the patio once. This turned out to be not too bad of a job and I was done in no time. If I do it once a week I will keep it under control and I won't feel like I'm overwhelmed. 

No doubt, one week the leaves will decide to fall off all at once and I'll have my work cut out for me.

For as cold and dreary as it is now, that's how warm it is going to be tomorrow with temperatures in the 80's. It will call for completely different clothes and I will have to put my cowboy boots back in the closet for a day or so. We've had these odd Saturdays of hot weather off and on.

Some weather god must smile on us during the weekends and feel that we deserve good weather at least then. 

I've done a lot of laundry this week and it amazes me how much of it one person can produce. I'm almost caught up. It's only the capacity of the drying rack that slows me down. 

I change my bed a lot, so I always have a lot of sheets to wash. They take up a lot of space. The outside clothesline is unavailable because of the rain, which is a shame because sun dried sheets smell the best. I imagine I sleep better between them. 

I've got to take my morning dose of medicines and go back to bed for a while. I'm not quite done sleeping yet. No doubt I'll be woken up by the Exfactor when he gets here this morning. I'll have coffee with him and that will leave me time to do the dishes before the domestic help gets here. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

The weekday blues...

Much to my dismay, it is Monday morning again and it seems that the weekend flew by in no time at all. I sure as heck don't know what happened to it. It seemed it was Friday evening only just a very short time ago. I think the weekends are too short to enjoy properly and they ought to be three days long instead of two. 

As of now, I'm making Friday a weekend day also. I'll just have to ignore the fact that the domestic help will be here that day cleaning my apartment. If I just overlook that minor inconvenience, I should have no problem treating Fridays as a day off. It will be for the sake of my peace of mind that I do it. 

It would be better for my state of mind if I treated every day like a day off, but I don't think you can get away with that in real life. Responsibilities do have a way of piling up. Maybe if I approached them differently it would make a difference, but I have not yet found a way to do that. 

I would want to approach them lightheartedly with hardly any care. Really, that's all they need. I don't have to put so much serious effort into them. They are never matters of life or death, yet I act as if they are. I act like the load is heavier to bear than it really is. I need to lighten up. 

I need to have a weekend attitude during the week. In the weekends I do chores too, but somehow they seem to weigh less, as if they are not so very crucial and they are done easier. But then I've always liked the weekends better. Even when I still had my kids and they were home from school.

Weather wise it's actually going to be a nice day today with partial cloudy skies and enough sunshine. The temperature is going to be pleasant and I won't have to dress so warm. I can open the windows again after a cold night.

It will be the usual emotionally exhausting day with both my personal helper and the domestic help being here one after the other. I never look forward to that and I have to mentally prepare myself for it. I have to shore up my defenses to deal with it. I always look forward to the moment when everybody is gone again. 

I always feel like I survived that time and that the time spent alone after it is my reward for it. So, all I have to do is hang in there long enough and be patient and wait it out. Soon enough I will be by myself again, although it doesn't seem soon enough to me. Maybe I need to make a change in my arrangements. It may be time to rethink some things. 

I've got to go back to bed for a while and get some more sleep before the first person gets here. I do need a few hours more sleep. It's just becoming dawn. I could stay up now and start the day, but there's no sense in being up so early. I'd like to postpone the inevitable just a while longer.

It's time to take my medicines and have a glass of milk. The dog's been out back and he's sound asleep in the armchair. We should be all set for a few more hours. 

Have a good morning.

Ciao,

Nora

Up and about...

I didn't sleep quite as late as I had wanted to, but I slept until the early morning anyway and that's not half bad. When I woke up it was raining buckets and Tyke refused to go out back, even though he needed to. He decided to wait until later. It's still not stopped raining yet and I've been up for an hour.

It's very cozy here by the desk lamp and I feel great and ready to start the day. I slept well and feel quite refreshed. I've made a good pot of coffee, so nothing can go wrong with my morning. Well, not much anyway. I can think of some things, but I won't go there. The most important thing is that it's a brand new day with brand new possibilities, and that it's Friday again, the end of the week, which is always a welcome time. I haven't encountered a Friday yet that I don't like. At least not in this stage of my life, but I think I've always liked Fridays, as I've always looked forward to the weekends, especially when my kids were young. I liked it when they were home from school and we could do things.

I slept well in my newly made up bed and it was a pleasure to sleep under clean sheets. I've got to wash the ones I took off immediately so I will have clean ones right way. It's the pillow cases that I most need, having four pillows on my bed. That's strictly for comfort. I like nothing better than having a thick, soft place to put my head. There's nothing better to go to sleep on.

Gandhi and Tyke both try to lie down by my pillows at night. They jockey for position and I have to chase Tyke to the lower end of the bed. There's definitely not enough space for both of them, no matter how hard they try. Gandhi can be there. She's such a little delicate cat that there's room for her, but Tyke plants his big butt in my face and it's not pleasant. He thinks he has to be wherever Gandhi is. He thinks he's as small as she is and that he can go in the same places. He towers above her quite a bit. He's 30 pounds worth of dog, so he may be little, but he's still a force to be reckoned with.

I've got to jump in the shower in a while and find something nice to wear. No doubt I will succeed in doing that. I do have enough clothes to choose from. There's no shortage of them. I have to throw some clothes to wash in with the sheets. I do like clean clothes to wear. There will be no hanging the laundry outside to dry. It is going to rain all weekend. I'm going to try a different washing powder when I'm done with this one. This one works well, but I want to find one that smells even better. Or maybe I'm used to the way this one smells and I need a different one. I think I will just buy whatever washing powder is on sale, that way I can try them all. I'm an opportunistic consumer. I'm not loyal to my brand, except for my tobacco.

My personal helper is coming today and so is the domestic help. I have to get the apartment in shape ahead of time. I will have lots of time to do that. I have to clean up the kitchen and take out the trash. I forgot to buy new trash bags yesterday. I was at the tobacco shop where they sell them, but I forgot all about them. I will have to use some other plastic bag until I get some. The present bag is full and it is my last one. I usually don't forget things like that, but I was in a hurry yesterday, because I was going between rain showers. As it was, it started to rain on the way home and I made it inside just in time.

I haven't noticed any adverse effects from decreasing the antidepressants, but maybe it's too early to tell. Possibly more time needs to pass before I notice any difference. The stuff does stay in your system for quite a while, after all. I think I have a bit more energy, but that may all be in my head, in other words, I merely think I do and it's a suggestion. I think I'm supposed to stay at this dose for a month and then, if everything is well, lower the dose some more until I'm down to a reasonable amount and not the mega dose I was taking. It's fine with me, as long as I do well.

I'm going to take a shower now and get dressed. I do want to get the show on the road and it has stopped raining. Maybe I can take Tyke for a walk. It would be nice if I could. We both need some outside air. It's 18C out, so not that cold.

Have a nice day and enjoy whatever kind of weather you have.

Ciao,
Nora

A new post.

I went to bed early in the evening, in my cleanly made up bed, and read my book until I fell asleep. A huge tiredness had come over me and I had been unable to stay up to watch the news on television or sit behind the computer to read blogs. Of course, at 10:30 I woke up and was wide awake and completely not tired anymore. It had just been a nap that I had taken and not a full fledged sleep until the morning.

That's just my kind of bad luck, because I had every intention to not wake up until the sun came up again. It seems I'm not capable of such a feat. I'm doomed to be awake at least some part of the night and to never just sleep through it. I think possibly one of my ancestors may have been a night creature. You can make of that whatever you will.

And so I sit behind the computer again with a tall glass of milk and a cigarette. Tyke is lying by my feet. He has just torn apart a small cardboard container and the pieces are strewn all about him. I figured he was bored, so I let him. I'll clean it up later before I go to bed. Maybe he's not quite done with it yet. I see a larger piece that can be shredded some more.You have to let dogs be innovative sometimes.

I'm more than halfway through my thriller and I have to say that it has really got my attention. The suspects are being lined up, the net is being tightened and people are behaving suspiciously. Of course, I don't know who the killer is, but I know who I want it to be. Probably I've got it all wrong and it's going to turn out to be someone quite differently. I just dislike the person who I want it to be, so it comes down to prejudice. I'm in a hurry to finish it, but I keep falling asleep with it, because the only time I read it is in bed or on the sofa. Anytime I'm in a supine position, there's the danger of falling asleep. It doesn't matter what time of day it is.

It's a shame that the weekend is over. I was as lazy as it was possible to be. No doubt it was the lack of activity that made me unable to sleep enough during the night. Some strong hard labor would have taken care of that. I have to get up at a decent time in the morning because the Exfactor is going to be here to pick up a package and do the groceries. I also have to make a phone call to get Tyke trimmed and bathed. I don't want to put that off too long.

I have to get myself back into some sort of normal rhythm. Right now I'm wasting a lot of time doing nothing of importance. My days are very unstructured. I know that's not the right way to live my life. I have to get myself onto a schedule and do certain things at certain times of the day. It's to my own benefit if I do and to the benefit of Tyke as well, because I don't take him for regular walks right now. My negative mood and the hot weather have been the cause of that. Tomorrow I'll change that immediately. Both my mood and the weather have improved. It's only going to be 26C tomorrow. That's warm, but not too hot.

I have to make a decision about this blog design. I don't know if I'm happy with it. Something about that big dried leaf disturbs me. I do like the white page and the layout. I'll have to see what I can do.

Ciao,
Nora

One more time...

It started to rain this morning and it wouldn't stop. I finally had to make a decision to go out in it, because I needed tobacco and I wanted to get some things for Tyke at the pet shop. I put on my hooded coat and out we went in the drizzle. Tyke didn't mind one bit and soon was one wet curly bundle of fur. When he gets wet he looks like he's just had a permanent.

I got him some interesting things to chew on at the pet shop, including a big dried soup bone that you could hit someone over the head and knock them out with. He doesn't quite know what to do with that, but he does know what to do with the beef jerky sticks that I bought, one of which he is eating now.

At noontime it had stopped raining for awhile and my sister called to ask if I wanted to go and walk the dogs. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to try and let Tyke off the leash, which I had never done. I walked over to my sister's house and we set the dogs loose on the big field in front of her house. I was very curious about what Tyke would do and half expected him to take off, but he did no such thing.

He liked the freedom and ran around, but kept coming back to us. It was fun to see him run around freely and enjoy himself. We walked all the way around the field and the dogs followed us and Tyke did as if he always had. When it was time to go back on the leash again, I crouched down and he came running to me. So that was pretty painless.

Because he's so low to the ground, he always gets very wet from the grass and his paws and the lower half of him are sopping wet when it has rained. It's difficult to get him dry and all day long he walks around being damp. Wherever he lies down, there is a damp place, so you have to be careful where you sit down. Luckily, he lies down most often on the coffee table, so that's no problem and the cushions on the sofa have a sheet over them, so that spot dries fairly quick too. You do have to warn people that you have a damp dog, though, in case it surprises them.

When we came home from the field, I realized I was very tired and laid down in bed and soon was asleep. I woke up a few hours later to go to the toilet, but I wasn't ready to be up yet and went back to sleep. I finally woke up at 6:30 pm and was completely over my tiredness and felt ever so much better. Sleep, or the lack of it, can make or break you. I seem to be enormously sensitive to this and can go from very depressed to alright just depending on how much sleep I've had. Lack of sleep can mess up my mood very much and the first thing I need to do when I feel bad is find out if I'm overtired, which I quickly am. I rapid cycle if I'm overtired and I don't do myself any favors by staying up.

I just walked Tyke for the last time today and it was chilly outside. It has stopped raining, but it is still cloudy. It's not the kind of weather that was predicted. I'm about ready with the rain now and am in the mood for some sunshine. I don't mind if it's not so warm, but I do miss the sun. It has peeked through the clouds a few times and it looked promising, but it disappeared again each time.

Saturday is always a little bit of a lost day. I usually don't accomplish much and I seem to save my chores for Sundays. The laundry is still in the washing machine and it has been for three days now, I think. I will have to hang it up tomorrow. I also have to sweep the living room and the kitchen and do the dishes. At least the weekends aren't the awful wastes of time that they used to be. I may waste time, but it doesn't feel like it. The days go by quickly and before I know it, it is Monday again.

No matter how you look at it, the weekend is a break from the busy week, even though I don't have a job to go to. I feel the same as anybody else and as if I'm on a break on Saturdays and Sundays. I feel more carefree and less responsible, when in reality I'm probably not. Less responsible, I mean. I'm still in charge of all the same things I am during the week. My main charge, of course, being the animals who completely depend on me. It's good for me. It makes me less self centered and less self occupied. It prevents me from too much navel staring and hibernating.

It's time for the World Cup Football, people! The Netherlands is playing its first game against Denmark on Monday. I'll be watching it.

Ciao,
Nora

Thunder shower.

Shortly after I wrote my last post, clouds moved in quickly and the wind picked up. It then started to thunder and rain. It didn't last very long. A half an hour at most and there wasn't a lot of rain, but it sure cooled things off. That was very lovely and I have the back door open and there's a pleasant draft blowing through the apartment, which is making everything smell good.


I love the smell of rain, but it's a good thing that I didn't hang out the laundry to dry outside after all. I had thought about it, but decided against it just in case the weather forecasters turned out to be right, and they were. It's still cloudy now and it looks like there may be more rain, which is okay with me and actually, more rain has been predicted for this coming week. Lower temperatures too, but that just means I get to wear decent clothes and not the skimpy things I have been wearing now.


The thunder was neat and rumbled low over the sky. I didn't see any lightning, so it must have been far away. I like summer thunder storms and we have them regularly. I always feel perfectly safe inside the apartment and I'm not afraid of a hit. I'm so sheltered here, I would be surprised if I did. There's nothing like rain in the summer to release that smell of green grass and dust and blossoms. I like the cool air after the rain and everything looks very bright and clean.


I took a nap on the sofa. It was actually inevitable after I ate a late lunch. I started off watching the men's final at Roland Garros, but I only saw the first 5 minutes of it. I turned over and fell asleep. I had a cup of coffee when I woke up and felt like a million dollars. Tyke sleeps while I sleep, although he did try to wake me up at one point and I petted him in my sleep. I do remember that. My hand got stuck inside his curly fur and rested there.


I've decided not to worry about how often I post on days like these when I have the time to do whatever I like. It doesn't matter how many comments I've gotten, because I think only a few people read me anyway. I think a lot of times I write just for myself anyway, to get whatever I want "on paper." It's a way to describe my day and to get my thoughts down. It's like writing in a diary.


I'm going to look and see what I'm going to wear tomorrow, if I'm going to change my clothes at all or if I'm just going to add a different cardigan or a long sleeved stretch T-shirt. The possibilities are endless. I may end up wearing a skirt. Not the one that's missing. It needs to be searched for first. I washed my other denim skirt and hope it's a little bit tighter now, so it doesn't slide all the way down to my hips. I don't want to walk around with a bare belly button. It's fun to pick out clothes when you can get to them easily. It's nice to know what you've got to choose form.


I didn't get around to sweeping and dusting. I'll have to do that in the morning. I did clean the dining table and it is organized again. It's a catch all for whatever needs a temporary place when I don't know what to do with it immediately. Half of the mail I get can go into the recyclable paper box. Well, just about. If you count all the junk that is so called official mail, but that doesn't amount to anything. It is addressed to me, but completely useless. Except the Ikea catalogue. I always love that one. They've stopped sending everyone the Yellow Pages automatically. You have to send in a postcard now if you want one. That seems sensible. I'm sure a lot of paper and money are being saved that way.

I just took Tyke for his last walk. It was very nice outside. There's a cool breeze and an overcast sky. Tyke appreciated the walk very much and did all his sniffing very economically. he moved from one spot to the next without hesitation. The added attraction were all the trash bags, but luckily they didn't distract him too much, which was always a problem with Jesker, who thought he had to find his food in them. I always had to drag him away from them.

I can't believe tomorrow is Monday again. the weekend went by quickly. In the blink of an eye. I've got my week filled already and there's enough to do. I doubt I'll have very many dull moments and if they do come around, I'll fill them with something useful. There's always something to do.

I've got a clean bed to look forward to. That will be a pleasure. The used sheets have already been washed and are drying on the clothing rack. I'm completely caught up on the laundry. I do have to see what's in the ironing basket. I think there are some things in there that I'm not going to wear anymore, but that a cat has slept on. I'll have to see what I'm going to do with them. They may be worth rescuing still.

Have a good night and a good week. If you have rain, try to enjoy it.

Ciao,
Nora

Down the road...

Tyke and I went to the vet this afternoon to have him look at Tyke´s inflamed tear gland one more time. We had said that I would try the ointments for 5 days to try and get the swelling and inflammation down and then come back. The ointments hadn't worked and his eye looked just as bad, so today I made an appointment to have the tear gland removed. It will be done Monday afternoon and Tyke can't eat anything all day, so I have to make sure nothing edible lies around. I think that would include any old chewed up rawhide sticks, because he does have a tendency to swallow the soft pieces. I will be glad to get it done, because his poor eye looks terribly vulnerable now with that swollen tear gland sticking out. I´m afraid a cat will stick his or her claws in it. Tyke likes going to the vet, because nothing unpleasant has ever happened to him there yet and he gets treats. I wonder how he will feel after Monday.

We also mailed the card to my uncle and went home in a round about way, which Tyke liked because it took us on a path that we had not gone on before. Needless to say, he was quite excited and peed on every tree and bush. The hard part is keeping him away from semi-edible things that people have dropped in the gutter. He finds those so quickly and I have to be one step ahead of him. He still lets me take things out of his mouth, but I don´t know how long that is going to last. He´s so cute, though, when he runs ahead of me as far as the roll out leash allows. His little legs go so quick and he´s like a little kid gone wild.

I took a nap later in the afternoon and Tyke slept by my side. He didn´t seem to be interested to get into any sort of trouble, though I had just swept up all the little bits and pieces of various bits of carton that he had destroyed. I sometimes let him go ahead and make a big mess to get it out of his system. So, I had a nice nap and woke up quite refreshed. I made myself a cup of coffee and cuddled with Tyke, who will react to you very lovable if you say certain things to him in a certain tone of voice. You get many kisses then and he is all over you. So, every once in a while I do that to get my share of loving in.

I´ve solved the problem of what to wear by just putting on leggings and a pair of jeans and a sweater and by wearing my hiking boots. It´s very uncomplicated and I have many leggings that I can change whenever the need arises. The same with the sweaters. This way I don´t have to think about what to wear and what goes together and if I look good enough and fashionable. I really don´t give a hoot. The jeans are comfortable and so are the sweaters and I don´t have to worry about getting dirty. I wear a scarf and my leather jacket over everything when I go out and my outfit is complete and easily put together. A pair of gloves when it is freezing and I´m done. I´m still not wearing make up and I´m not planning on it in the near future. Maybe some day I will again, but I´m not in the mood for it now. It´s too fussy.

I´m very happy that it´s the weekend. In spite of everything, I do enjoy those days off as though they are a little mini break from my responsibilities, few as they really are. During the week I always feel a lot of pressure to do everything right and on the weekends I feel that I can relax and be a bit more at ease about things, because they are not official work days. The week days loom like large dark clouds on the horizon every morning and I wonder what the day will bring and what surprises it will have in store for me. I feel that I have to be on guard and I can drop that guard on the weekends and just enjoy myself. I´m sure it is that way for everybody and you all feel that relief and, after all, that´s what weekends are for. I remember when I had to go to school on Saturday mornings and my father had to go to work. We weren´t quite as enlightened then.

I´m waiting for the pharmacy delivery person to drop off some medication before I can take Tyke for a walk. I noticed just on time that I was almost out of antidepressants. I thought I had two more boxes, but that turned out not to be the case and I would have run out this weekend and that would have been really rough. You get hallucinations if you suddenly stop those. Talk about powerful medicine.

It was supposed to have started raining, but so far it is dry and it doesn´t look like rain yet. More often than not, the weather forecasters get it wrong for our little area of the country. We seem to have our own unique climate that doesn´t match the rest of the country and that is hard to predict. The forecast on the browser is constantly changing, from rain to sun to partly cloudy to sun again. It´s unpredictable. It says that it´s supposed to rain all day tomorrow, but by tomorrow it may say partly cloudy or occasional showers. You basically have to look out the window and see for yourself what kind of weather it is and what the sky looks like.

I´ve eaten dinner early and am more than full. I was completely off schedule today. Sometimes that happens and I eat when I get hungry and not when the clock dictates it. I usually eat two meals a day and that is more than enough. That makes me feel very full. Tyke eats twice a day too and I´ve found out now that if I just let him be and give him the time, he really does eat all of his food in his bowl. He just does it in stages in between all his puppy things. So I don´t worry about it anymore. He makes sure the cats don´t eat his food, that´s important. I don´t want the cats getting fat on his food. This puppy chow seems to have a special appeal to them.

The chairperson of the Socialist Party gave up her position because her party did so badly in the nationwide city council elections. Frankly, although this is not my party anymore, I think she is right to go, because I thought she was wrong for the job. She was too bitchy and not at all charismatic, which you do have to be in order to lead a political party. We have elections coming up on June the 9th and it was feared that the Socialist party would lose a lot of voters with her as leader of the party. They are hard at work to find a worthy replacement for her now and I´m looking forward to see the result of their search. Politics, man, it is exciting. The party I´m voting for has a very charismatic, feminist, ecological and equal rights warrior as leader and I like her very well. She is smart! I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Well, I´ll hang up now. It´s been a long story. Have a good evening and enjoy your Friday night.

Ciao,
Nora

Friday morning.

I am sitting here with my second cup of coffee, leisurely waking up in the early morning hours without a care in the world. Isn't that nice? Of course, I'm not speaking the truth, because of course I have cares, but just for now I'm pretending not to have any. It's too early in the day for them and in reality, I can't do anything about them right now anyway. You should know when to worry and when not and now is not the time.

Right, you state that and start worrying and can do nothing but. Since this blog is about me and not about my close family members, I can't discuss what is going on in their lives that worries me and how I'm really not able to do anything but be a listening ear and maybe a careful advice giver. Needless to say, that is very frustrating and leaves me feeling anxious and uneasy and unable to put my thoughts to rest. That is my present state of mind.

I'm glad it is Friday, but I think that is more out of habit than anything else. In your life you get used to looking forward to the weekend and it is something you automatically keep doing, even if the week days are actually more fun. But it is nice to be able to be lazy in the morning and make a slow start and waste the time away without feeling that you ought to be doing something very useful, because you know that most everybody else is not either. Of course, this could be a misconception on my part, because it is possible that other people cram their weekends full of useful activities. I alway feel that I have official permission not to perform and I take full advantage of that.

First I have to get through today. That means creative therapy in the morning and going downtown in the afternoon. I'll be finishing my painting this morning and taking photos of all of them, so I'll be posting them soon. It will feel like I'm exposing myself, but I'll have to get over that.

I do want to make it downtown this afternoon and not have a panic attack at the last minute, like I did two weeks ago. I'm mentally preparing myself for it now and picturing myself going there on my bike and riding the whole route in my head and thinking of all the tricky parts of it. I do want to be ready for it. I'll be wearing the toughest boots that I have and that should do the trick. I'll wear my tough leather jacket too. I'm glad that I cut my hair and that I don't have to worry about that, because it does wonders for my self image to know that my hair will stay in place and not look ridiculous when I get off my bike. It's in the details, people!

The Exfactor was here yesterday to check on Jesker and Jesker is so deaf now that he doesn't hear the motorcycle or the outside doorbell and they're both loud. Sometimes when he asleep, he thinks he hears something and wakes up and starts to bark. When he's awake, there are all sorts of things he doesn't hear anymore, like the doorbell, or the alarm clock, or the telephone. Those are things he used to react to. A lot of times, he doesn't hear me talking to him anymore and I depend on body language to get my message across, or lipreading, that also seems to work. But he's really doing well health wise. He's just about back to his old self. He does sleep at the drop of a hat, but that could be his age.

I am looking forward to creative therapy today, although I don't exactly know what I'm going to do after I finish my painting. I won't start another painting. I want to do something different, but I don't know what yet. Maybe I'll do something with colored inks. I could also make another collage, but I really have to have the right images to be inspired for that. I'll have to look through the magazines that are left. I think it is going to be colored inks. Or maybe a drawing. It is so hard to decide. Sometimes I think I have an acute shortage of imagination and I'm forever stuck on making the same things over and over again, until someone comes along and flips a switch for me. I'll have to ask for input today.

Okay, I'm off. I have to take a shower and get the show on the road. The dog needs airing!

Have a really nice day, I'll try and do the same.

Ciao,
Nora

During the news....

I fell asleep during the eight o'clock news and woke up at ten o'clock. Ms Nap, that's who I am. I also slept for a couple of hours during the day and wiled away most of the afternoon that way. I think I use the weekends to recuperate from the activities during the week and one way or the other they must exhaust me enough that I need this extra sleep.

I must say that the weeks seem to fly by and that one day passes into the next very quickly. Time speeds by and before you know it, another week has gone by and it is weekend again, which I don't mind, as long as it's not a three day weekend like we just had. I'm glad when it's Saturday and I can be a bit lazy, but I 'm also glad when it's Sunday and I can look forward to the next day when I'll have creative therapy again.

The biggest satisfaction is on Sunday evening when I put out the trash and the green container to be picked up early Monday morning. Then I know I can go to bed and the day has ended and I have somewhere to go the next day,

I knew I needed those naps today, because every time before that I became very grumpy and was in a down mood. The blues hit me and that's a bad sign. Luckily, I'm smart enough by now to understand what's going on and to turn off the computer. I could write a huge lament, but I'm smart enough not to do that. I very much see the glass half empty when I'm like that and my thoughts are not pretty. I could not even joke about them and make a farce out of them.

Every time I get down and grumpy, I need to go to sleep. That's the only cure for those feelings. The temptation is to eat, but that's the wrong thing to do, that's not really what I need. I've seen food as a comfort thing for a long time and that was all emotional. Soft warm smooth sweet food to make me feel better, except that then I still needed to sleep, but I did it on a very full stomach and when I woke up, I wanted more of it. That's the first thing I thought of.

I have no such comforting foods in the apartment now, so I've left myself no opportunities to do such eating. I can have a glass of juice or warm low fat milk instead. Warm milk is very satisfying, if you don't overdo it. I have one glass of it a day, plus the milk I drink in my coffee.

I have been drinking a lot more decaf. I figured it's no good to take tranquilizers and then to drink a lot of coffee. So lots of decaf it is and I really don't taste the difference. Some people swear they can, but I can't. It all tastes like coffee to me, except that the one doesn't make you wired late at night.

Needless to say, I didn't get anything done today but walk the dog with my very sore toe and feed him and the cats. I did have some ambitious plans, but they fell by the wayside. It doesn't matter. I'll see how tomorrow goes and maybe I'll get some things done then, even though officially it's a day of rest and I should take advantage of that. I will try to vacuum and mop the bathroom floor.

I really, really dislike the sound of the vacuum cleaner. If I could have a silent vacuum cleaner it would make things so much better. I dislike not being able to hear anything else while I run it. Life is full of frustrations like that. If you mop the bathroom floor, there are the nooks and crannies that you can't get to beside the washing machine where all the dust and dog hair hides. Just like it hides under all the furniture that you have to move when you vacuum. The same way there is always a mess by the food bowls and the water bowls of the animals that you only get clean on your hands and knees with a damp rag.

As I'm typing this, there's an old Morse on TV. They have been showing a lot of English detective series lately, all of them late in the evening when I'm normally in bed. Lewis is quite young in this one, compared to how he looks now in his own series, which I like so much. He just got beaten up by a bad guy. Why is it that all British detective series are so superior to those of other countries? They must have the magic formula.

Well, I'm going to bed now. It's late and that alarm clock is going off early in the morning. If I hear it.

Sleep tight, everyone. Happy dreams.

Ciao...

A Half Way Decent Sunday.

I decided to take my camera into my own little postage size piece of back garden and shoot some pictures of what is growing there now. To the right you see the winter blooming Jasmine which has gotten quite green over the last two weeks, and over the top of it you see the different leaves of what I assume is a tree, because it is growing rapidly and is as tall as I am now. I have no idea what sort of tree it is and it popped up out of nowhere, but it is welcome here and I must get a closer look at the leaves, so that maybe I can identify it, The Exfactor
took the tree identifying book, but I'll ask him to bring it the next time he is here, so we can figure it out.

Then there is the Prickly Bush which I suspect is a tree also, because it has amazing growing capacities despite having been cut back several times. It just comes back twice as hard. It is pretty to look at and also got here quite on its own, but the branches are covered in thorns and are very hard to handle, so it's best left alone. Beside it, to the right, is also an interloper of unknown origin that needs to be cut back because of the washing line and you can see that I really need that book, for I have no idea what it is. Mother nature just gives me these bounties of her hand.

This is the tall Golden Rain now and it has gotten very green, but in a short time it will get yellow blossoms and it will be a sight to behold. It's absolutely gorgeous. Our neighbor says that it interferes with his tomato growing abilities, but I'm not cutting it down for a few measly tomatoes. He'll have to find a sunnier spot for them. Old people can be such a bother and get their mind set on things. Luckily, they are going to their caravan as soon as the weather allows it and he has a vegetable plot there, where he can putter around to his heart's contend.

This is the littlest tree I've got and it is a mountain ash berry, just like the other three trees I've got.
I may have called them different things in the past, but that's what they really are. It also settled here on its own and has found itself a nice semi sunny spot. I am quite taken by all these interlopers and would not think of digging them out. I'm too happy with them. It's thanks to the birds that they grow here. Beneath this tree, out cat Sofietje is buried. We had to have her put to sleep because of brain damage. It'sa fitting tribute to her and a memory to her lively spirits and the many scars I have on my arms because of her, that she gave me in her excuberance too hang on to me in her last months of life when she was a little bit crazy and had stupors.







It's been a slow day at the Pondorosa. I haven't done anything note worthy or to call special attention to. It is Sunday, after all, and that s never a noteworthy day of the week. It stands out in its dullness and lack of interesting things to report. When I walked the dog this afternoon, I sort of let him take the lead to see where we would end up and we took an aimless stroll through the neighborhood, but he seemed to enjoy it and he produced three bags of substance, but I came prepared.

At one point, my keyboard stopped working, but a little fiddling with the cable put that right, though I did panic there for a moment, because I thought, "Oh my God, no keyboard, what will I do now?" I am especially dependent on my PC during the weekends. I am married to it on the weekends.

I think the weekends last one day too many. Sundays are just that extra day I don't need, except maybe to take many long naps on he sofa, but I haven't even done that today. During the week I have one day on and one day off and that is just perfect for me, but a two day weekend is too long. Unless I had a friend to go hang out on a sidewalk café with and drink a Wieckse Witte or two. I must find me another friend like that.

There's my friend Lucien, but she likes to plan things weeks ahead of time and then very often calls things off at the last minute. So not much spontaneity there. There have got to be better friends than that. I'll do some serious looking around. I'll go friend shopping.

Well, after all that's been said, I think I will go and clean up the kitchen. There are about three days worth of dishes sitting there. It's about time those get done, the fairies aren't going to come by during the night and do them.

Have a terrific what's left of the day. The sun is shining into the living room now and creating warmth in here.

Ciao...

Finally Friday.

I must have had an awful lot of sleep to catch up on, because yesterday all day long, whenever I sat down , I started to nod off after a while, until I made myself come awake again and stand up and do something useful, until I finally gave in and took a long nap on the sofa later in the afternoon. Sometimes it was even difficult to keep a phone conversation going. I talked with my eyes closed, which is not conducive to having a great talk.

So I dragged my butt around and didn't accomplish much. It was all too much effort. I did make it to the supermarket and did all the groceries. I bought some very good food for the dog and I hope that he likes it, because it is amongst the best I could find without breaking the bank. I bought much milk and plenty of coffee pads. They were on sale, thank goodness. For a treat, I bought cookies for myself and I ate them all up. They tasted very fine indeed. Sometimes you just have to sin a little.

It's not as if I can afford to sin, because I've gained 5 kilos this past winter and I have to get rid of them, obviously. I don't quite know how yet , because I love the foods that I am eating right now and it seems more than obvious that I'm getting plenty of them. Leave it to me to eat too much with a gastric band in. I always will find a way.

So yesterday I hardly made it out of bed in the morning and today I'm already up at 5 AM. What woke me up was the impatient pacing around of the Überhund. He didn't even want to go out, but was just walking around the apartment following cats around as if that is a new hobby of his.

When I got up, I walked around like an old woman at first, because my hips hurt from laying in the bed all wrong. I don't know how I managed to do that, but it is the second morning in a row that this has happened. Maybe I am just becoming an old woman, period.

I'm rather excited about today, because I get to go to creative therapy, and it will mean that my weekends will be so much shorter. They used to start on Thursdays, it seemed, and now they will start properly om Friday afternoons. Even then, I still have house cleaning to do this afternoon, so it will really not be a weekend day yet. I must vacuum the apartment and clean up the bathroom. Both jobs that I simply adore. I also have to do some laundry, which I mind much less. There is always so much dog hair in the bathroom stuck on everything! You can't simply sweep or wipe it away, you have to get on your hands and knees and scrub it off!

Well, I will never get first place in the Dutch housewife competition, but I'm always reminded of my late sister in law who didn't care much for cleaning house, but who did a lot of other interesting things with her life. She is much more an example to me than people with super clean houses. When she retired, she bought a house in France with a big vegetable garden and an orchard and she had two cats and two dogs and never a dull moment in her life. My cat Gandhi is one of her cats. So, I have a French cat, a French-Belgian cat and a Dutch cat. We are the European Community.

I just gave the Überhund his new dog food and he wolfed it down in one minute flat. It's supposed to be all natural and as close to homemade as you can get. It's called Butcher's and the first ingredient is meat followed by rice and vegetables, without artificial ingredients. I am trying to read all the small print on the can in four different languages, but it is hard even with my reading glasses on. The one I have now has fresh beef, rice and carrots. There is also fresh tripe and chicken, and fresh chicken, ham and rice. To name just a few. I think that is much better than what I was giving him at the start, which was an undefined conglomeration of god knows what. We are moving up in the world of dog food.

Well, now I have to get going. It´s that time of the morning again.

Have a good day. I am bound to have one.

Ciao...

As I sit here...

As I sit here comfortable in my pajamas, completely ignoring the time on the clock and having another mug of coffee, the world outside has come to life and mothers have been walking by taking their children to school. I am almost oblivious of everything and just go on sitting here, because, after all, it is Friday and nearly the weekend, hurray! And the Überhund is oblivious also, because he is sound asleep on his blanket and has not even had his breakfast yet. What is wrong with us this morning? Do we not have any get up and go?

Well, I suppose we don't and that is fine with me, because I am waiting for the apartment to heat up, although it would be better if I put on my bathrobe. Being too lazy to walk to the bedroom, I am holding out for the heat. It is 4 degrees Celsius outside and it is going to be 8 degrees today, so that is practically springtime weather, if you look at it optimistically. The sun is actually shining and should be out most of the day.

Three things are happening today. My SPN is calling me at noontime to see how I am doing and, luckily, I can tell her I am doing well. I don't know if my medication can be decreased now, but I'll discuss that with her and see if we can take the chance.

Then the Exfactor is coming over for coffee and it will be nice to see him, because he can do a little job for me while he is here, having to do with the cable for the TV reception. I have no idea where the cable is that I need and how to get the whole thing switched around, so I need his expertise. I think it will make him feel good to be able to be helpful.

Later this afternoon I have a doctor's appointment for him to look at my little toe that is hurting me so much after all this time still. The only time it doesn't hurt is when my foot is dangling in mid air without any footwear on it. I'm pretty sure it is broken, but I don't know what can be done for it.

Oh, the Uberhund is waking up. He´ll be wanting his breakfast next and lots of cuddles too, of course. We must never forget the cuddles. The scratches behind his ears and the rubs on top of his rear end. He´s got a good life, that dog. I´d love those kinds of cuddles myself, even the ones on top of my rear end. I am picturing someone rubbing my rear end now, hee, hee.

I´ve just made myself another mug of delicious coffee and I am all set for another while behind the computer. I´ll give myself another half hour and then I must get dressed. I do have to put some limits on myself, otherwise the whole day will be in shambles. I don´t mind deviating from my schedule, as a matter of fact, I do it all the time, but I do want to keep it within some sort of boundary.

The cats are futilely checking the dog´s dish to see if he left anything in it, but no, it is all gone. Too bad, now they have to eat their boring kibbles and drink their boring milk. It´s tough being a cat in this household. The dog growls at you when you get too close to his dish while he is eating and he doesn´t leave you anything either. What´s a cat to do?

It´s very funny how I always look forward to the weekend, while it makes no sense whatsoever, because I have many days that I can fill in as I please, so I really don´t need a weekend. Still, I do have that weekend feeling when it is there. I especially like the Sundays, because everything comes to a standstill then. The shops are closed and there is no mail delivery, so no bills, and there is less traffic on the roads. Al the cafés are open, so that is good. The church bells ring more often too and that is kind of festive, although it is supposed to make me feel pious, but that is wasted on me. Besides, all the bells that ring are Catholic and that I am not. Well, neither am I anything else, really.

My friend Yvonne just called me to see if I wanted to meet downtown, but I´m not going to be able to make it today, though I would have loved to. The day is perfect for it. Today is market day and it is always cozy and crowded then and the café terraces are busy with shoppers and tourists and so are the narrow cobblestoned streets. So yes, I would have loved to go downtown. Alas.

Okay, now I am going to start the day for real. I must get dressed and take my medicines and walk the dog. And make sure I look my darn best!

Ciao...

Saturday morning.

I've never seen or heard a dog sleep as happily and contentedly as the Überhund is sleeping now. He is gone from this world completely and is sprawled on his blanket under the coffee table in full length with one big ear covering his face completely. He is snoring a little bit and it makes for a nice background noise. Of course, everything the Überhund does fills me with adoration, so it doesn't take much, but he is especially adoring now.

I have that weekend feeling today, since it is Saturday, although I could have had that feeling just as well yesterday. But no, I had my evaluation yesterday, so it wasn't really a day off. I went in there feeling like spit and vinegar, but came out of there a little bit humbled, because I did not fill out the questionnaires as positively as I had anticipated, which sort of disappointed me. It was a bit of a downer.

There were ratings from 1 to 5, 1 meaning you never had that feeling and 5 meaning you always had that feeling. Of course, I wanted to have only 1's, but did not manage that and it was probably unrealistic, but it burst my balloon.

Never mind. After that, I had to ride my bike all the way to the pharmacy, straight into the stormy wind that was coming from the west and it was very hard peddling and sometimes I was almost blown into the traffic. I peddled very hard and made it there just a little bit out of breath, which goes to show you what good shape I am in, and on the way home, I had the wind in my back and I rode my bike effortlessly.

The Überhund wagged his stubby tail when I got home and thought I had brought home treats instead of medications. He always thinks that. He thinks every outing on my part ends up in me bringing home good things for him. Not to disappoint him, I gave him a bone to gnaw on and he was happy.

I bought the cats a 2 kilo bag of a different cat food the other day that was a bit cheaper than what I had been buying and they like it just fine, so for a change they aren't being finicky. It seems as long as Toby eats it, the other two will also. I don't buy the cheapest kind, because I do want them to get some sort of quality, but some of the food is very expensive and I wonder at the sense of it and if it is really worth it.

The wind that has been blowing is of the hurricane style and it whips the hair right off your head. It takes quite a bit of hairspray to keep your hairdo intact until you reach your destination. I have hurricane strength hair. It gets whipped about, but stays in place no matter what the wind does. You can imagine that no man can run his fingers through my hair, but seeing as though there is no such man in my life, it is not a problem. My hair is only to look at. It is very difficult in a country like this to have a decent hairdo, unless you have long hair or have it cut short like a boy's. It will be a horrible day when they start making bicycle helmets mandatory. All those woman with all those hairdos!

The smoking laws aren't being very successful. There is much rebellion against them and in a quarter of the cafés people are still allowed to smoke. There is a court case coming up about it that would allow small café owners to stay smoking cafés, because they are loosing their customers to the cafés that have a separate smoking section. We don't like government to dictate what is good for us and people can choose to go to a smoke free café. Most of the people who work in the cafés are smokers themselves and have to go outside for a cigarette. There are arrangements like this in Germany and Denmark and it seems to work fine. Now you have the problem of people standing outside the small cafés at night on the sidewalks with their drinks and cigarettes creating noise in the neighborhood.

My ex brother in law, the cardiologist, singlehandedly managed to get rid of the one smoking room in the hospital where patients could go and have a cigarette. He is so proud of it. Now the patients have to go outside in their bathrobes in front of the hospital if they want to smoke a cigarette. It is a big hospital and it is a long walk to the front of it and it is very exposed. I don't know what his point was. He is not going to forcibly create non smokers, but only have many poor frustrated patients who already are ill at ease. I find this a kind of fascism that really riles me.

Oh well, before I really start getting on my high horse, I better stop writing and leave these issues for someone else to discuss. The Überhund has had his breakfast and is now sound asleep again at my feet with a full belly. And I will go and make myself another mug of coffee.

Have a very good day, everyone.

Ciao...

Finally, the weekend.

The Exfactor came over yesterday afternoon to check on me and we had several cups of coffee and a decent conversation during which he talked about his new home and I talked about the SPN's concerns. Listening to him talking about his new home got me excited, because I had seen photographs of it and when he said that he still had to do a lot of unpacking, I immediately offered my services and, after some hesitation, he accepted them.

We took the train to Sittard and from there I took the bus to Born, while the Exfactor rode his bike there. He did some grocery shopping and we met each other almost right at the bus stop where I got off.

Born is a nice little town and the way to the cloisters is real pretty. It goes by the church and the cloisters is right behind it. Nuns used to live there, but it was closed when the last nuns were to old to live there any longer. It actually looks like a big villa and has a double garage with electric doors.

Inside there were many boxes to unpack, but luckily there was much built in storage and with a little bit of imagination, things were put away quickly. We paused for a glass of white wine every now and then and a cigarette, which I am sure the little nuns would have frowned upon. We were done in a few hours time and things looked much improved and almost cozy. The Exfactor just needs to hang some good posters on the walls and buy some lamps and it will look great.

The Exfactor has several browsers on his computer, like Linux and Dreamworks and everywhere his wallpaper is a picture of the Paramount. I think, "You left me for her?" It is inconceivable, but it is very obvious that he is very much in love, because what the heart is full of, the mouth flows over from.

I took the train back to Maastricht in the dark, which was very cozy and reminded me of the fact that I always like traveling in the evening, because of the solitary lights you see in the landscape until you get to a populated area. The #4 bus took me home, where the Überhund was waiting impatiently for me. We had a good old cuddle and I was glad to be in my own apartment again, surrounded by my own things, although I had taken an icon from the cloisters that was hanging next to a picture of Bambi. I have a perfect place to hang it up. It isn't a valuable one, don't worry.

So, that was my little impromptu adventure for that day and I must say that it was fun, because I do like creating order out of chaos and now I have a good idea of where the Exfactor lives. It's a very large place and you could roller skate in it.

I slept on the sofa as usual and had the most interesting dreams, which are too complicated to narrate here, but that do symbolize all sorts of things for me. Mostly how some men suffer under the wrath of a bossy and manipulative woman, and let it happen to them, and if they are set free, how they can achieve all sorts of marvelous things on their own. I think my first reference in this is my own father, who achieved a lot, but only under the very restrictive domination of my mother and I wonder what he could have achieved on his own. He might have been like Vincent van Gogh.

Anyway, today is Saturday and a very fine day to clean the apartment. I hope I can keep my mind on the tasks and just do them. Vacuum cleaning isn't that difficult, neither is scrubbing the toilet. You don't need a degree in civil engineering to do them, although I wouldn't mind the pay.

I am going to act as if this is just an ordinary day for me and not pay attention to the oddness of my frame of mind and hope it clears itself up. We'll see. The extra Risperdal may help.

Off I go to take my medicines and give the Überhund his and then we'll go for our walk in the crispy cold Autumn air.

Ciao...