For old time's sake...

No, I haven't disappeared down a rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland, nor would I have enjoyed the kind of strange adventures that she had. I like my life served up straighter than that. My days have mostly been very ordinary but much improved from how they had been in the past. I still continuously count my blessings, although lately I take the credit for a lot of them myself.

I'm getting used to this new and improved version of myself and am no longer so surprised every day. I'm starting to grow into my own personality and learning to trust it. So far, I am managing to keep myself busy but I think I am going to need to find a useful activty to fill my spare time. I am thinking about doing volunteer work and hopefully will find something that will suit me.

Tyke and I are taking ever increasingly longer walks three times a day all over the place. Sometimes I plan them ahead of time and sometimes I make them up as we go along. We both enjoy them very much and there is much to discover. The world is our oyster and we don't let the rainy weather discourage us.

I've lost so much weight that I now weigh what I used to when I was twenty years old. To say that I am pleased is putting it mildly. I love my skinny self and didn't have to suffer for it. I do look quite normal and not like a famine victim. I'm having my gastric band emptied a little in August so I will be able to eat larger portions of food in the future.There's no need to lose more weight.

At her invitation, I will be staying with my daughter in Texas for Christmas and New Year's. That's still some time away but I am looking forward to it very much. I can't think of a lovelier way to spend the holidays.

The sun has just come out again and Tyke is gently reminding me that it's time to go for a walk.

Challenge...

I've been challenged not to write about coffee, but you may as well ask me not to write a post at all because it is impossible for me not to mention coffee. It is such an integral part of my daily life that it would be hard not to talk about it. It makes me function when I'm about ready to take a nap and don't want to. I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee now and there's more in the pot to have in a while. I'm looking forward to it already and yes, I'm starting to function much better. 

I haven't done a bleeding thing all day but walk the dog and sit around and watch interesting programs on television. I do make sure I see my fair share of those on Sundays. That's after I've quietly contemplated my navel in the silence of the early morning hours when I've finally gotten up. Because it's Sunday, I don't feel called upon to do a heck of a lot and feel that being lazy is perfectly legitimate. 

All I had to do was get dressed at one point and pretend to be wide awake, but I don't feel that I have to be as alert as I have to be the rest of the week. The dog seems to have the same notion and takes many naps in whatever sunshine is available to him. He must know that it's my day off and doesn't make too many demands. We do honor the day of the Lord and pay proper attention when the church bells ring, but that's as far as our devotion goes. 

Tonight the Netherlands is playing its football match against Portugal. We are still in the running if we beat them with two points and if Germany beats Denmark. Those are a lot of ifs that I don't have faith in. I don't even know if I will stay up to watch the match. I may get so disgusted that I'll turn off the televsion and go to bed. I even thought about lighting a candle at the Our Dear Lady Chapel, but I'm sure a lot of like minded, middle aged, Portugese women will do the same thing in their chapels. And they are catholic and I am not.

The sun does come out every once in a while even though it is overcast a lot. At least it's not raining today. It's not very warm outside and I do have to wear a jacket when I walk the dog. I'm wearing warmer clothes too, but that's purely because I'm being less stubborn and am indulging myself. I decided I wanted to be extra comfortable and ignore the fact that it's nearly summer. I don't know who to blame this weather on. Maybe some day it will be sunshiny and warm again. 

I just remembered that I have to do a load of laundry. In all my laziness I had forgotten that. 

Ciao,
Irene

More hot coffee...

I saw myself forced to make another pot of coffee because I started to yawn and it is barely the beginning of the afternoon. I don't think I'm supposed to be getting sleepy yet. It would be great to go lie down in my bed and take a nap, but it was not part of the plan for today. I do want to stay up and spend the afternoon in a more upright position. 

I think the caffeine will straighten me out and help me carry out my plan and hopefully I will be wide awake again soon. I do rely on coffee to help me through the rough spots. I've made it a little stronger so it will carry a bit of a punch. I do want it to zap me back into consciousness. The side effect will be that it will put me in a good mood. 

I can certainly stand one of those, although I'm not grumpy or anything. I just like the temporary high that caffeine gives me. I woke up in a perfectly good mood this morning and it didn't take much coffee to get me started. My thoughts weren't too confused and I wasn't overwhelmed by too much input right from the beginning. I eased gently into the day. 

It's a bit cold in the apartment, but I do have the windows open and the sun is not shining. It rained all night and sometimes it came down in buckets. It was a regular deluge. I thought I would have to start building the ark and start putting the animals in it. 

For about a week now I suspected there was a mouse in the kitchen closet. The cat and the dog showed much interest in it, but I never could catch a glimpse of it. Last night, when it was very quiet, I heard something move around in there, so I opened the door and let he cat in. Some time later she came out with a dead mouse which I disposed of before the dog could get it. 

The cat had probably brought the mouse into the apartment herself and it had escaped from her. I'm glad she was able to finish the job. It had probably been living on dog food and getting to the water bowl through the crack underneath the door. I hope it had a happy last week in the closet.

I'm fully caffeinated now and I can sit up straight and function normally. I think I'm good for the rest of the afternoon. I think I can even walk the dog again which is something he will welcome very much. He's found a very good Dunlop tennis ball on one of our walks and it has become his favorite. I'm sure he's hoping to find another one. 

Ciao,
Irene

Options...

It was a choice to either have some coffee or go take a nap. I chose for the coffee and am waiting for the coffeemaker to finish brewing it so I can have a much needed cup. I will forsake the nap and save up my sleep for tonight when I will go to bed at a fairly decent time. I won't have to watch any football matches anyway after last night's debacle when the Dutch team lost against Germany. They haven't won a match yet. It's a terrible situation and I'm much disgusted and so is the rest of the population of this country.We're all walking around in a bad mood. 

I mustn't let that press my fun and immediately move on to other things more uplifting. I will not let the defeat of the Dutch football team determine my outlook for the rest of the day.  I'm sure there are other more important things that are of influence such as this cup of coffee I'm having now and the fact that the sun is shining into the living room. That does alter your mood and make you more cheerful. There's nothing as welcome as a bit of sunshine after all these days of cloudy skies and showers. I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. 

I knew I would cheer myself up writing about that. Just making a note of it is enough to make me happier. The fact that it's getting warmer in the living room does also because it was a little bit chilly in here and I wasn't about to close the windows. It is June after all and that would be admitting defeat. For the same reason I can't turn on the heater even if it does get cold in here. I am bound and determined to keep believing that summer will get here yet and that it will happen in my lifetime. 

I'm wearing a summery top that is new, but at the same time I'm wearing my jeans and a jeans jacket. I'm not quite as warm and comfortable as I'd like to be. I'd like to wear a pair of socks too and a scarf around my neck, but I thought that might be a bit too pessimistic and not in keeping with the time of year. It's always a bit of a struggle to decide what to wear in the morning because I want to wear my summer clothes, but the weather discourages me from doing so. Wearing layers seems to be the best way to deal with it. 

The dog is watching the maintenance people from the city clean up the municipal flowerbeds. They are making an awful lot of noise because they are using power tools. I liked it better in the olden days when things were done by hand and it was a gentle occupation. I'm sure people were more skilled back then too. Nowadays everything seems to get cut back indiscriminately. The dog was sleeping in the sunshine on the dining table. He was very rudely disturbed in his sleep. 

I will now go take him for a walk and enjoy some of the sunshine. Hopefully, it will be warmer outside than it is in here.

Have a great day.

Ciao,
Irene

A bright and shiny moment...

It is with some amount of pleasure that I sit here at the end of the afternoon and enjoy the sunlight that is shining into the living room windows. It does make everything look bright and cheerful and it does wonders for the state of my mind. For a while I will thoroughly enjoy this time behind the computer and not worry about a single thing. Not that I really have that much to worry about anyway. My mind is pretty much empty of things that I could get overly stressed about. 

Besides, now is not the time of day to worry about anything. I do that best the first thing in the morning before I've had my cup of coffee and before my medicines have started to work. But because I know that the lack of these things causes me to feel stress, I don't pay it too much mind and simply wait for them to take effect. I try to ignore what goes on in my head for the first hour after I get up. I know I will be my usual normal self n the shortest amount of time. 

We've had some rain and cloudy weather and although I didn't mind it too much, I was glad when the sun came out again. It did actually affect my mood a little bit when the sky was so gloomy.  I pretend that it doesn't get to me, but really it does. I notice that when the sun starts shining again and my whole attitude changes. I'm a lot more cheerful because of it. We're supposed to have more rain tomorrow, but I guess I shouldn't complain about it too much because Mother Nature does need it. Some rain on a regular basis can only do it good. 

I saw my relaxation therapist today and learned a new exercise. I know so many different ones now that I could keep busy all day long doing them. They do seem to work because the pain I had walked around with in one shoulder is gone now and it had been a very stubborn pain that I thought I was going to need painkillers for.  Today's exercise really worked well on my belly and stomach and I literally felt the knots there untie.

I've got to go because the dog is waiting for me to take him for a walk. It's that time of the day again. At least the sun is shining and the temperature is nice. It will be great to be out there. 

Ciao,
Irene

In the early evening...

In spite of the two cups of coffee I've had, I'm sitting here yawning as if I need to go to bed and take a nap. It is true that I didn't take one this afternoon, but I thought the caffeine took care of that. I just took a walk with the dog in the warm summery feeling air and I thought it was enough to wake me up. Instead it has half put me to sleep. 

I refuse to believe that I really can't do without my afternoon nap. I'm not quite that old yet, although it must be that some habits die hard and I have gotten used to this one. It does feel good to be a little sleepy and I'm not really complaining. At least the coffee hasn't made me wiry and jumpy, but then it seldom does. I probably wouldn't drink it if it did. 

Being in a mellow mood is just fine. It allows me to reflect on life without getting too excited about it. Of course, I saw my relaxation therapist today, so I'm bound to be more mellow because we did new exercises together. After I did a series of them lying down very comfortably, I could have gone to sleep on the spot and it took me some effort to get up again and start riding my bike home. 

By the time I got home, I was somewhat refreshed again and could finish doing the laundry which had to be hung up. It was my second load of the day and I did it with pleasure because it smelled so good thanks to the washing powder. I do like to get some rewards for my efforts and good smelling laundry is one of them. Especially if they are clothes I'm going to wear. They smell bad soon enough because I smoke. 

I've been talking to the dog a lot and it amazes me how much he understands. I don't know if he understands a complete sentence, but enough words anyway to know what I mean and to anticipate what is going to happen. He doesn't forget what I've told him and just waits patiently for me to get around to it. I think he's smarter than he lets me believe. He does hide his light under a bushel and pretends he's dumb sometimes. I think that's when it's convenient to him. 

Oh, I've got to watch the news.  Time to go.

Ciao,
Irene

It's always something...

It's a beautiful day out. The sky is blue and the sun is shining and the temperatures are great. It feels like a summer day and the weatherman was right. He predicted it. It will stay this way for the rest of the week and I am totally agreeable to it. I just walked the dog and it was a pure pleasure to be out there. The bees were buzzing amongst the wildflowers and the birds were twittering in the trees. All that was missing were the butterflies.

I could not walk quickly because I think I have broken my toe. I did it this morning when I walked into the edge of a metal sign that the Exfactor had temporarily placed against my bike that was parked in the hallway. I noticed it on the way to the toilet, but forgot about it on the way back. It was quite a bang and I used a swear word because it hurt so much.The sign was big and heavy and did not move an inch.

As the day wore on, my toe got worse and I hobble a bit when I walk. Even when I sit still it hurts. It is the middle toe of my left foot and I know nothing can be done about it, so I've put a sock on it and I'm wearing my sneakers for comfort. That gives me some idea of support, but to tell you the truth, I think it isn't helping one bit and I may as well take them off. I have taken a paracetamol and I hope that will do.

Other than that, it's been a nice day. I think that's mostly due to the amount of sunshine that's coming in through the living room windows. It does cheer me up. It makes me a better person. I'm much more agreeable when the sun shines, although I'm always kind. At least I try to be in spite of myself. I do get grumpy at times. 

That's not something a cup of coffee can't take care of and I've had mine. I'm all caffeinated now. I did take a small nap earlier because I got up on time this morning. I was expecting the Exfactor but I had no idea what time he was getting here because he is hard to pin down. When he got here, he asked me to iron two long sleeved shirts for him, but since he always does the groceries, it was a pleasure for me to be able to do that. 

I hadn't ironed any men's shirts in a long time and had forgotten how much work they are if you want to do a good job. It seems that every time you run the iron over them, you iron a new wrinkle into them. It is frustrating.

I've got to watch the news and eat dinner. It's that time of the day again.

Ciao,
Irene

So far, so good...

I have temporarily misplaced the dog and have no idea where he is in the apartment. I greeted him this morning when I woke up but when I got back from going to the toilet, he was nowhere to be found. I'm sure he'll show up again but this is a new one to me. He must be gaining his independence as he never is far away from me. 

I slept well in spite of not having taken that tranquilizer. I was up for a while during the night but I did go back to sleep and get enough rest. I don't feel any sort of withdrawal effect. I think I was taking so little that it hardly makes a difference.

This afternoon I've got an appointment with the relaxation therapist. This time we will really get down to the actual work. I'm a little bit nervous about it. I do admit that. I don't know how well I will do this. I suppose I can be a total failure at it and learn it from scratch. I don't have to be perfect at it from the start. 

I suppose that is still my problem. I want to be perfect at everything I do and set my standards too high. I have to go in there today with a different attitude. I have to act like I don't know how to relax and that I have to learn it from the beginning. That will be a lot better than acting as if I've already got the thing down pat. 

I've got to go and get dressed and find the dog. It's time to take him for a walk. It looks like it's going to rain and I want to go out there before it does. 

I hope you'll all have a good day. 

Ciao,
Irene

After all's been said and done.

I'm drinking coffee because it's the most agreeable beverage I can drink (even better than ice cold milk) and it's putting me in a very good mood. Now, if you had your choice, wouldn't you do the same thing and fill yourself with some caffeine? 

I know it's only a semi-permanent effect and that it will wear off again and that it will not prevent me from sleeping tonight. As soon as I quit drinking the coffee and switch to something else, I will start mellowing out again and I will be yawning by the time it is bedtime. 

I'm almost always an optimist and today I most certainly am.

It must be because today the sun has been shining, except for the occasional cloud, and it cast its light into the living room for most of the afternoon, making it nice and warm in here.  It does make me feel more cheerful but I already was anyway. 

I was from the moment I got up this morning and was merrily greeted by the dog. What a way to start the day. I drank my coffee and smoked my cigarettes in all peacefulness and silence. I had given myself an hour to get myself together and that was enough. Then I was ready to get the show on the road and the first thing I did was take the dog for a walk in the crispy morning air. 

I've done all the things that I planned to do today and I consider it successful. I hope I will repeat myself tomorrow when it will be a little less hectic. I will still have to accomplish things but they will all have to be done at home which will simplify the process.

I've ordered another denim jacket on line which will be delivered in the afternoon. It's a gray one with little pink flowers. It will match the clothes that my blue denim one doesn't. I live in my blue denim jacket, except for when it needs to be washed and then I miss it sorely. It's become an inseperable part of me.

I've started to pay attention more to the way I look. I had neglected that a little bit lately and put my clothes on without much care to the details. Today I've got a scraf draped around my neck that I haven't worn in a long time and I'm pleased with the effect. I picked it up instinctively, not knowing how it would look. It was the right choice. 

One of my rings has fallen off my finger and I don't know when it happened so I don't know where to look for it. It could be anywhere. It's a shame because it's one I liked a lot, although it was not an expensive one. That's how skinny my fingers have become and I wish my stomach would follow suit.

Thank goodness that I can see clearly now because the domestic help has washed the windows.

Ciao,

Irene

I'll not give it a thought...

The other day, when the Exfactor did the groceries for me, I forgot to have him buy the ground coffee and now I am almost out of it. Luckily, I still had some of the good brand of instant coffee left and I have been drinking that. It hasn't been as awful as you think. I make sure I get the water really hot before I spoon more than enough instant coffee in it and then add a generous amount of milk. 

This way I have an almost perfect cup of coffee and it doesn't taste bad at all. I don't make funny faces when I take the first sip and it doesn't make me shudder when I swallow it. I can actually say that I look forward to drinking it and that I sometimes even have a second cup, although the first cup usually suffices. I certainly make it strong enough and it carries a punch. 

I just had a cup and now I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed. I had to have some coffee because I was somewhat discombobulated by the unofficial nap that I took on top of the duvet but under the red fleece blanket in the company of the dog. Since it is a cold day, I had also turned on the heater so the apartment was nice and warm and consequently my nap lasted longer than I had intended. 

For a change, I'm very comfortable and not at all chilled. Even my hands are warm which doesn't happen very often. I think it must be because of my low blood pressure that they are always so cold, just like the tip of my nose. It usually feels like an ice cube but that is not a problem right now. 

I'm waiting for a package to arrive. In it will be my new and, hopefully, comfortable walking shoes. I hope they are everything I expect them to be because my feet really need them. I haven't had a pair of sensible shoes since I left the States and have always walked on shoes or boots that were meant to be pretty but not necessarily good to walk in. 

Now that I'm getting older, I'm becoming less vain and more concerned about my feet. And I do want to walk longer distances with the dog without getting sore feet and a backache. That much became clear to me when I had to take him to the trim salon. I can walk that distance but I do need good footwear. 

I'm completely trying to ignore my depression. I'm pretending that I don't have it and that everything is great. I think that's the best way to deal with it. That's one subject matter less to talk about. 

I hope you're all having a good day. 

Ciao,
Irene

Moving on from here...

I'm fortunate enough to be able to put the past behind me and to move forward or at least to live in the moment and to not get lost in thoughts of what has been. Now that I think about it, I think I very much live in the moment and that I spend not much time thinking about the future while I maybe really should. I'm always so concerned with feeling good right now at this moment that I don't spend much time looking ahead. Maybe I should do a little more of that. Sometimes it is necessary to make plans.

I have to write things down in my agenda in order for them to get done. If I don't do that, they will go unnoticed and stay left undone past their due date. It's because I'm oblivious of their importance and don't remember that I have to take care of them. I even have to put taking out the trash in my agenda or else I'll forget.

When I say that I can put the past behind me, I don't mean that I don't draw any lessons from it. I do ponder on it a bit but I don't get stuck in it. I don't beat myself up over it. There is closure and I try not to let it play a too important role in the rest of my life. I don't want there to be too much of an onslaught on my mind about what has been unless it involves pleasant memories and I do treasure them.

Not many pleasant things happen in my life which is mostly just a long and boring journey. I must say though that I'm the one who wished it to be like that. After having had a very eventful life with many ups and downs it seemed like a good alternative. I would like for my life to be more exciting but excitement covers a lot of ground and it could go either way. You don't always choose the events that take place in it. Sometimes things can go seriously wrong.

I suppose that's all I have to say today. The dog wants to go for a walk and I have to take him and then watch the news.

Ciao,
Irene

Of course, of course...

I am sitting here with a strong cup of coffee. I need it because I am so sleepy. I want to take a nap at every opportunity. I think that is because I've quit smoking. It seems to me that I had this reaction before. Of course, I can't keep sleeping. I will have to get up now and then too. I hope this coffee gives me some perkiness. I only made one cup because I thought it would be enough but I may have to make more. 

Of course, taking naps is one way to get through the day if I can't smoke. It does occupy my time. I have to think of things to do to keep my mind off the cigarettes that I can't have. If I just sit in my armchair without anything to do it gets too difficult. I do need to be a bit diverted. This morning there were cultural programs on televsion that helped me keep my mind busy. Now I'm trying to do the same thing with the internet. 

I make it sound like I'm having a heck of a time not smoking but it really isn't that bad. It's all within the limits of my control. I'm not going crazy yet with withdrawal but I ám having an allergic reaction to the nicotine patches. Where they are and have been, I have perfect squares of bright red skin. That does make you think, doesn't it? 

Because it's the weekend, I don't have much on the program. On top of that it's a three day weekend because on Monday it is Queen's Day and that is a national holiday. Actually, I can be as lazy as I want to be and that's the nice part about it. I can take naps whenever I want. As long as I take care of the animals, I can have totally unstructured days and nights. I'm sure there's some advantage to that.

It's actually a warm day here today and it feels like it's 23 degrees Celcius outside. Isn't that unbelievable? I've got the kitchen window wide open so I can smell the fresh air. Unfortunately, there's hardly any wind so there's not much of a draft. Still, I mustn't complain. It was raining during the night and now it's dry, although the sun is not out completely. I hope the weather stays good like this for the whole three day weekend. The queen deserves good weather to celebrate her day in. 

The coffee has perked me up properly and I am functioning again. One cup turned out to be enough but it was a strong one. I think the dog wants to go for a walk so I better take him now. He acts like it's urgent. Of course, he always does. 

Have a nice day.

Ciao,

Irene

Rain again...

Every evening it rains but luckily it does so after I have taken the dog for a walk. Well no, it was raining a bit when I took him this evening but we didn't get wet too badly. All it took was a bt of a rub with a towel to get us dry again. The dog does enjoy that. He comes running when he sees the towel and very willingly stands and gets rubbed dry all over. It's much easier now that his fur is cut so short. 

It's raining harder now and I think we got back inside just on time. It doesn't really rain during the day and I suppose the rain in the evening is good for nature and the farmers. I haven't heard anything about it on the news. There's usually some news about the water level in the rivers also but I haven't heard anything about that either. Maybe the snow in the Alps hasn't melted yet. 

I have had a quiet day in which I have done nothing but contemplate my navel a lot and it has been most peaceful. I was not bored for one minute but enjoyed sitting in my armchair and letting the time slowly go by without feeling that I had to fill it with activity. It was enough just to sit and exist and be aware of that. 

I also took a nap and got up late in the morning. I still enjoy sleeping. It's one of my favorite hobbies. I fall asleep within a minute after putting my head down on the pillow and don't remember a thing after that. I usually wake up quite refreshed unless I'm grumpy like I was yesterday. But that was the exception to the rule. 

The dog sleeps on the bed with me because there's linoleum in that bedroom and no carpeting. He doesn't sleep on the big pillow that's beside the bed. He never really did get used to it. The linoleum is too cold to sleep on, although he may appreciate in the summertime when it is hot. 

I can't imagine hot temperatures now but I am looking forward to them. This Saturday it's supposed to get up to 24C degrees and we won't know what hit us. That will be the warmest it has been since last year. 

I've got just a few cigarettes left and no tobacco. The empty package is in the trash bag. I will smoke these cigarettes and then put on a nicotine patch. I'm ready for the challenge. At least I know from experience what lies ahead of me. It's not the first time that I quit after all. 

Tomorrow morning I've got an appointment to get my hair cut. I'm looking forward to it very much. I'm purposely not going to wash my hair so it will have to be done there. That's part of the pleasure. I do want the full treatment. 

It's been more than six weeks since I've had it cut last and it's more than time. I do have to use an awful lot of hairspray to keep my hair in place now and it does make it sticky. It looks good when it's in place but a hurricane wouldn't blow it apart. 

I've got to eat before the news comes on. It's time to nourish the body. I just have to decide what sort of food I'm going to have. 

Have a good evening all of you.

Ciao,

Irene

Finding inspiration...

Frankly, I've looked high and low for inspiration and I haven't found any yet but maybe I'll stumble over it when I've finished this cup of coffee. Anything is possible after all. What I want to write about may be staring me right in the face and I may be overlooking it completely. It may be as simple as not looking good enough. Or not having had enough coffee yet. That could be the case also. I'll quickly finish this cup. I just mustn't dribble. 

The Exfactor called me a while ago to ask me what color I wanted my coffeemaker in. He was at the Kijkshop getting ready to buy one at a very good price. He will deliver it to me on Friday and then I will be able to make regular coffee again and my heart will soar. I hope I still remember how to make it correctly and haven't lost the skill. I do still have the coffee. I have two full packages ready to use on the kitchen shelf. Isn't that utterly convenient?

The dog was sitiing beside me begging for an apple. At least I think that's what he wanted. He usually does at this time of the afternoon. He remembers they are in the refrigerator and gets a hunkering for them. He patiently sits beside me in the kitchen while I peel one for him and then goes to the living room to eat it. He always goes to look at the peel on the counter afterwards but it's too far away for him to get it. I don't think he should be ingesting any pesticides. Isn't he cute, though? Him and his apples. 

The wind from the south has picked up and is blowing dry leaves through the street rapidly. It looks like autumn out there. It makes me feel cold just watching it. I feel that I should go and put my winter clothes on. Sometimes the weather is beautiful at this time of year but we sure didn't get lucky this time. It was supposed to have rained today too but it never did, thank goodness. I still have to go out and walk the dog and I don't want my nearly perfect hairdo to get ruined. 

My cup of coffee is empty and I'm out of inspiration and never really found it. As a result, it's not much of a post but what the heck. I've got to take my medicines and take the dog for a walk. I think he's more than ready to go. I'm going to miss watching the 6 o'clock news again but lately I've been very badly informed. I'm being a bad citizen of the world. 

Have a good evening you all. 

Ciao,

Irene

An undetermined mood...

I'm actually still yawning from the long nap I took this afternoon and the cup of coffee I just had has not made much of an impact yet. I guess I didn't make it strong enough and the second cup will have to pack a punch. That's why my mood is still undetermined and I have no idea of how I'm put together yet. I think right now I'm mostly grumpy but I'll try to get over that as quickly as I can and you can all be witness to it. Watch a metamorphosis take place. 

I must be in one of those cycles that I need a lot of sleep because I have not gotten a shortage of it for the last 24 hours. It seems that I can't get enough of it. I even slept on the sofa for an hour while I was waiting for the domestic help to get here. When she did, I was so comatose that I could hardly talk to her. So much for my conversational skills that usually don't let me down. But right now I'd rather sleep than do almost anything else and that includes eating, although that doesn't say much. 

The sun has been shining a lot today but it hasn't actually been a warm day. I did have to wear my winter coat when I went out and I've had the heater on for most of the day. I do have to admit that I get cold quickly and I seem to be allergic to the cold. I was definitely meant to live in a warmer climate. But at least the sun was out and it did cheer things up. Of course, the world is a lot greener and that does make things look a lot more cheerful too.

I do appreciate the fact that I have to go out a couple of times a day to walk the dog because otherwise I would not be aware of how quickly nature is changing right now. It's thé opportunity for me to be out regularly and see how green the trees are becoming and how many dandelions there are growing in the grass. The lowly dandelion does have its place in nature too. 

There, I've become sensible and wide awake again and I never did have that second cup of coffee. I had two glasses of cold milk instead. I was very thirsty and slightly hungry too. That milk took care of that. 

I can now move on to the next chapter and that is to take my medicines and take the dog for a walk. 

I hope you're all having a good day.

Ciao,

Irene

Don't forget about the angels...

I woke up from my nap with a headache so that was not a good begin to the rest of the day. But it got better as I moved around and now it is nearly gone. I haven't yet taken a painkiller and will not unless I have to. I'd rather not take anything if I don't absolutely have to. It's amazing though that you can get a headache from sleeping. I thought that was a very relaxing activity. I guess I don't know everything yet.

I woke up half way through my nap because the dog had thrown the alarm clock to the ground where it landed in three seperate pieces. Fortunately, it was still working and when I put it back together it was still telling the right time. I do have to get another, sturdier alarm clock. This one is rather old and rickety. I got it from the Exfactor to use temporarily. That's been long enough now. You should look gift horses in the mouth sometimes.

The first thing I did when I got up was make a cup of coffee. It may be instant coffee but I needed the caffeine. I'm properly activated now after the first cup but I can't take the dog for a walk because it's raining outside. That means I'll have another cup of coffee and wait a while. The dog is very patient and didn't even want to stay out back for fear of getting wet. He is sensible sometimes. The older he gets, the more sensible he becomes.

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The rain stopped and the sun suddenly came out and it was the perfect time to take the dog out. It was lovely outside and not too cold. It was perfect to be out there for a while and get some fresh air. I do so appreciate the longer days. I feel like I've been out in the country. That's a lot of wishful thinking on my part. The air did feel awfully clean, though. I feel completely restored by it.

The dog is casually eating his dinner but I neglected the cat and almost forgot to give her her kibbles. She did sit on the kitchen counter with a look of astonishment on her face. I quickly remedied that and she's now chowing down from a newly filled bowl. 

I suppose I must start thinking about what to eat for dinner myself. I first have to take my medicines. I'm a very faithful medicine taker and never skip a dose and very seldom forget to take them. For this reason, my psychiatrist is very fond of me. 

I think I will have Greek yoghurt and a banana and share the banana with the dog. He is awfully fond of them and they are starting to get a little spotted. Tomorrow the Exfactor will do the groceries and buy more of the things I like best. Luckily, they are not the most expensive. I'm an inexpensive consumer. It doesn't matter what the prices are at the supermarket. I always fall into the cheap category.

Right, off I go. I hope you'll all have a good evening with something good to eat.

Ciao,

Irene

What's the rush anyway?

I've already been sleep but the dog woke me up by licking my hands and my face, He knows that's a surefire way of waking me up, it works every time. I think he does it when he his bored of being all by himself and wants some company. He didn't have to go out anyway. 

So here I am sitting with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Outside it is raining like it has a lot today. No doubt we need it because it hasn't rained a lot lately. It is a gentle rain and not coming down in buckets. That is some relief. And at least it isn't very cold outside. 

I have been eating the Greeks yoghurt that I bought for my sister. It is delicious and I think I'm hooked on it. It is so thick that you can set a spoon straight up in it. I eat it with brown sugar like she does and I can heartily recommend it. I like it at least as much as I like vanilla pudding and that is saying a lot. I don't know how many calories there are in it, I think there must be a lot, but it is worth every bite. I'm sure it's very good for you too. 

I've also got the drink yoghurt that I usually never buy in raspberry flavor. I will be having that next. I'm looking forward to it. I actually wish I had buttermilk to drink and I will have the Exfactor buy that the next time he goes grocery shopping which will be tomorrow as a matter of fact. The timing couldn't be better. 

I took the dog out for walks in the rain today and we did get wet which the dog didn't mind at all. I didn't either because I was dressed for it. We didn't get overly wet and I dried the dog off with a towel when we got home. He did enjoy that but I get the top half of him more dry than the bottom half. That's as much as he was able to co-operate. 

When I was done drying him, he was one mess of little curls which made him look very smart. I wish I could say the same for my hair, but it just stayed as straight as it always was.  Things are divided unequally in this world. Of course, people with curly hair want straight hair. Having straight hair, I just don't understand that. 

The cat stayed inside for most of the day and every once in a while had the crazy half hour when she ran through the living room using the furniture as an obstacle course and daring the dog to join in. That's when she must have had cabin fever. If she did, she brought it on herself. The rest of the time she slept on my bed and was unmovable. I could sit on her before she got out of the way.

I dreamed that I was having a pro-war argument with some bleeding heart liberals in British English which I spoke with a lisp. I argued that there was reason to fight for a cause and that there was reason to go out on a mission at night to seek and kill your enemy. I spoke very heatedly about this with much passion. When I woke up from my dream, I was convinced that I was right. I don't know how I feel about this now. 

I will now go and find some other way to amuse myself. It isn't time to go back to bed yet. I'm sure I can think of many things to do. There are usually all sorts of ways to get into trouble and I am bound to find them. I get bored easily enough with the status quo to want to change it. Watch me do it now.

Gave a good night you all.

Ciao,

Irene

In the morning, bright and sunny...

I am sitting here with my first cup of coffee and a cigarette and I'm more than ready to start the day. I am up bright and sunny, but I don't think the day is actually going to be. It is now cloudy and gray outside and it is supposed to stay that way. I'm not going to let that press my good mood and I'm totally going to ignore it. I will have a fine day no matter what the weather is going to be like. That's the kind of mood I'm in.

I was up earlier during the night but I never did get around to writing a post. I was too busy on Pinterest because I had redivided some boards and of course I had to add new pins to them. That kept me out of trouble for a while. I had a wonderful time pretending I could make all my wishes come true. It's like being a little girl and making your wish list for Santa Claus and sometimes these things come true. 

I've cut down even more on my tranquilizers and am now down to only one dose of 10 mg at night. These were strong ones and they worked great when I was highstrung but they made me very sleepy when I was not. That resulted in me always wanting to take naps during the day and I hope I won't feel that need now. I started taking them when I got so grumpy when I quit smoking the first time. 

It's always best to get off these kinds of medications as quickly as possible but it can take a while before you are able to. You have to choose the right moment and you have to have the wilpower to do it. You actually have to be stubborn enough and damn well make up your mind you're going to. Nobody else can make you do it. Don't rely on anyone else. 

I jusr stepped outside when the dog had to go out back and it is nice and chilly out there. There's a cold wind blowing and it felt good. All the trees and shrubs are green and it looks wonderful. It does give you hope for better weather, but this is okay with me too. I'll just have to dress a little warmer when I take the dog for a walk in a while. I'm looking forward to it. It will be nice to feel the cold air on my face. 

I don't have much else to report. I've finished my coffee and want to get dressed. I'm eager to get the day started. The Exfactor should be here this morning to finish putting the dresser together. It will be nice to see it all done. Then I can finish decorating the guest room. 

First I'm off to take the dog out for a walk in the cold morning air.

Ciao,

Irene

I don't think I'll do that...

I opened the flatpacks that the dresser came in with some muscle power. They were very well closed and I had to rip them open. It said not to use a knife and I was obedient. Inside them were a myriad of different parts that had to be put together and a hundred different screws and nuts to do it with. 

There was also an instruction booklet of quite a few pages. 

Now, I know I'm smart enough to tackle the job, but I looked at all the screws and nuts and at my measly little screwdriver and thought, "Forget it, this is a job for the Exfactor!" 

He is supposed to be here tomorrow anyway to do it, and he is bringing his electric screwdriver, so the job will be much easier for him with my able help. I think two can do a better job than one at any rate. We will have it done in no time at all. And, oh yes, it also requires a hammer. That sounds like fun, doesn't it?

I had some spare time on my hands and that's why I considered putting the dresser together, but in the end it was the domestic help who needed my spare time. 

You see, she is almost three months pregnant and in need of a older, wiser listening ear and one with humor. So I had to do my best to cheer her up and make her see the sunny side of pregnancy. I think I succeeded to some extent. 

I'm very capable of being wise and funny simultaneously when I have to help out young pregnant women. I used to be one myself and I know what they need to hear. It seems to me that she's surrounded by doomsday thinkers who tell her horror stories. Someone needed to make her feel good. 

I can't stand people who don't think and say whatever enters their head. You know the kind. They try to be funny while being knuckleheaded with no regard to the person they're being it to. The unwise and the unkind people. The dumb people. Lord save us from them all. 

I feel very protective toward people who I cnsider as falling under my care and start to take things personally when I think they aren't being treated properly in some way. I feel it is my duty to do something about it and be their advocate. At least be their Mother Confessor where they can go and unload their psyches.

I would run interference if they asked me to and give someone a black eye if it came to that, although by nature I'm a non-violent person. Well, I think I am, I won't guarantee it. 

I might have been a fierce warrior in the late Bronze Age. 

In the meantime I'm sitting here looking at the clock because in a little while I have to take the dog for a walk. The sun is shining but it's a little bit cold outside. This morning there was frost on the cars and the fields. 

It's been a great day, although I haven't had enough sleep. I've had enough coffee and that's what has kept me going. It's the caffeine that is making me so wise and brave.

Have a great day.

Ciao,

Irene

Unbelievably so...

Spring is here. I´ve seen the proof of it all over the place today when I was out taking the dog for his long walks. I paid close attention to everything in nature and saw green buds and new shoots on hedges and rose bushes and other plants. I also saw lots of bulb plants popping out of the ground and I saw my first tulips blooming. 

There were perennials that had new leaves and weeds underneath the hedges that were multiplying. There were even new daisies in the grass. Once I started looking carefully, there turned out to be new life everywhere. What at first had seemed like bare gardens, turned out to be places full of promise of things to come. I´m thrilled to pieces. 

Because the weather was also decent, it was a pleasure to be out there and I made the walks longer than I had planned to. The dog is just going to have to get used to it. We´ll keep going out there and making longer rounds all the time. There´so much to discover and enjoy. I do have to bend over bushes and plants regularly to inspect them for new growth. It´s not always obvious right away, whle with some others it´s clear to see. 

I´m so thrilled that today I saw these signs of spring because now I know that it´s really on its way and that we´re moving in the right direction. It is March, after all and not much bad weather can hit us now. I´m full of hope. My good mood can´t be beat and I will keep being upbeat now untill the end of the summer, even well into the fall. I´ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. 

For me this means the liberation from winterrtime and it will really be complete when we set the clocks ahead one hour on the weekend of the 24th.  That will mean that it will stay light longer in the evening and I´m all for that. It means taking the dog for longer walks then too. The poor dog does have to walk a lot. 

I actually still get very sleepy and groggy during the day. I solve that with drinking coffee and taking naps. If I drink coffee and then go for a walk with the dog, it serves me well. I get lots of energy out of that. Taking a nap is a nice option too, but I don´t always want to do that. It´s okay in the morning when I haven´t slept enough yet anyway., but I don´t want to waste the rest of the day on them. 

I know I should go for a walk now, but I´m too tired to go and besides, I´m wearing my bathrobe and am nice and warm. The dog will have to go out back. 

Oh, in the morning that bird is back singing its beautiful song. It´s a long song and it takes a while for it to get through it. It sings it with a little bit of variation the whole early morning. It´s like it´s having a monologue. It sure is pretty.  I can´t see the bird, so I have no idea what it looks like. 

Oh, I just did some research and I found out that it is the European Blackbird or the Turdus Merula. If you look it up on YouTube you can hear its song. Mine just sounds so much better. He must be a pro. Maybe he speaks the local dialect. 

Well, I´ve sat here long enough and wasted my time. I´ve done other things while I was supposed to be writing this. You can´t trust me to stick to the job at hand. I´m now listening to the soundtrack of a rainstorm. It is very pleasant to listen to, though I have to say that I´m very glad that it´s not raining like that outside. It would be good to fall asleep to, though. 

I just had some whole grain bread with butter. It was a joy to eat, but I´m awfully full. I won´t be able to eat or drink anything for quite a while. 

Have a good evening.

Ciao,

Irene

Irene´s Dutch Diva Blog.