An early day...

I started of this day remarkably early, I think I was up a little bit after 4 am. That is, of course, because I slept most of the afternoon and evening on the sofa, and by the time early morning came along, I was all done sleeping.

I didn't mind one bit, because I was wide awake and so were the cats and they were ready to eat, so I fed them first and they acted like hey never had any food before. I had a hard time emptying the pouches into their dishes, because their heads got in the way, making everything rather messy.

At the sound of chomping down cats, Jesker decided to wake up and come and investigate and decided that he needed something to eat also, so he got a Bonzo bone and then had to be let out for a piddle.

In the meantime, I had made my mug of coffee and was looking forward to drinking it and having some quiet time reading my emails.Of course, I had to do some extensive petting of the dog first, because he does need all his loving first thing in the morning. That's how we bond together. We have our rituals every day.

I spend a long enough time reading and answering emails and then decided to go and have a good look in my closet and decide which clothes I was going to wear today. I was torn between dressing my age and looking sporty, or dressing younger and looking a little bit spunkier. That meant that I changed clothes an hour after I got initially dressed, because I changed my mind and went for the spunkier look. The one with the mini skirt and the leggings. That's also the one that allows me to get on and off my bike easier.

With plenty of time to spare, I went to creative therapy and entered the smoking den with a cup of coffee. Luckily, there were only two people there, so the air was not too polluted. I was without a lighter again and had brought a box of matches that worked very badly and one in three didn't light and had to be tossed away. I buy new, expensive lighters that work 2 weeks and then give up the ghost. I'm losing my faith in the manufacturing process of gadgets.

Soon enough it was time to go to the studio and work on my silly doodle that everyone seems to like so much, and I'm really only making it because I didn't know what to sculpt. It's just a silly doodle, with silly birds on it. I have finished it today out of sheer stubbornness and because it was there and I didn't want to leave it undone.

The thing is, that while you're working on it, you can have entertaining conversations with the other people around you and so I did. And let me tell you something, the men like a good chat as well as the women do. They don't really stop talking the whole session and they discuss everything under the sun, just like women do, if not more.

I ate 6 cookies and they were all good. Two were shortbread and four were gingerbread.

When I got home, I was greeted by Jesker and Gandhi and tried to pay equal attention to both, although Jesker tries to hog his. I had a big glass of juice and a cigarette and called my older sister and talked to her for a while, but she was very busy with customers. Then I took Jesker for a walk and the sun was shining and it was nice if you stayed out of the wind that was blowing.

At 2 pm I went to my sister's house where my niece was with her husband and her daughter, because they are staying in a cabin in the Kempen in Belgium right across the border from here. I had not seen them for a couple of years and my niece cried from the emotion of seeing me again, which I thought was very heartrending.My grandniece had become as tall as I am and very grown up.

We had a nice afternoon reminiscing and laughing and looking at old pictures and telling old jokes. You do realize you share a lot of history together.

We sat in the garden that is surrounded by hedges, so we were out of the wind and in whatever sunshine there was, although a few rainclouds passed to the right and to the left of us and we felt some sprinkles, but nothing could deter us from sitting outside.

And now I'm home again, full of apple pie and pieces of goat cheese and other unidentifiable snack food. The goat cheese was soft and smooth and I'll have to buy some off it on my next shopping expedition. That makes Brie and Camembert and goat cheese that I have to look for.

Now I'm going to put my pajamas on and get comfortable, because I've already taken my medications and I'm feeling pretty mellow. It's time to relax.

I hope you all have a splendid evening and may I direct you to this weblog for a special poem?

Ciao...

Naps...

I've managed to take two naps today. One after another. The only thing I did in between was check my emails and then I decided that I really wanted to lie down on the sofa some more, next to Jesker, and so I did and promptly fell asleep again, which I think is the best thing to do on a Sunday. Intermittently, I heard all the church bells ring all day long, calling people in for mass. I hope a lot of people showed up, because the bells sounded joyfully and people should really heed them and go light a candle at least.

Toby slept on top of me, which was fine until he started to massage me with his paws and his nails extended. It was only a little painful, but hard to ignore and it was not on an especially meaty spot of my body. It was right on the side of my ribs and I tried to prevent him from doing it by moving my arm there, but he just moved his area of operation over a few inches until he was done and laid down like a teapot without a handle.

Jesker checked on me every once in a while, I felt his cold nose, and then laid down again and yawned and went back to sleep. We did this for several hours until we were all done sleeping and had to eat something to restore our energy and then go for a walk. The rain has stopped completely and the sun is shining and it feels a little bit like summer, but not completely, because of all the clouds in the sky and the temperature is only up to 20 degrees. I think this is pleasant, but then I'm odd and don't like the sun beaming down on me relentlessly.

I have started to take my nighttime medicines at 6 pm, which means I get the benefits of it much earlier and I become quite mellow early in the evening. It's a pleasant feeling and all I have to do before I go to bed is take my sleeping pill. I get so mellow, that I'm afraid that I'll forget to take out the trash, so I have to make extra effort to not forget it when I'm done writing this. I have to go around and find all the debris in the apartment and fill the bag so as to not waste any space in it.

I have no idea what's on TV tonight and haven't bothered to look in the TV guide, It means tracking down my reading glasses and I'm always to lazy to do that and turn the TV on and hope to be pleasantly surprised by an English thriller. Sometimes there's a German one on and they are okay too, anything is better than a Dutch one, I just don't like them. I am not enamored with them.Give me an Inspector Morse any day. Or a Lewis.

Well, that's really all I had to report now, Just a quick post in between, I'm going to make myself an omelet, after I take out the trash! And walk Jesker one more time.

Ciao...

Just like yesterday...

Just like yesterday, I'm sitting here very cozily while outside it rains. I consider myself very lucky that I'm inside where it is 23 degrees and not outside where it is 15 degrees. I don't know why it's so warm in here, but it always is, even though I have the top windows open and feel a draft going.

Yesterday was a very successful day. I got all the groceries done and the apartment cleaned up, so I had to celebrate that fact by eating a piece of Brie and a glass of vanilla yogurt. Not all at once, of course. The supermarket was all out of the cheap Camembert, so I had to buy the Brie instead and that was a real sacrifice. Jesker likes the Brie as well as he likes the Camembert and always gets the last bite, for which he very patiently waits, the poor dog.

Cleaning the apartment was easy, especially when you consider that I had not done anything significant all week. I tried to do chores by threes, but sometimes I cheated and did them by twos or fours, depending on my stamina. I didn't mop the floors yet and must consider doing that today, even though it is a day of rest. Otherwise I'll do them tomorrow afternoon.

I had to go to the tobacconist and buy two weeks worth of tobacco, because they're going on vacation and will be closed. It was a painful amount of money to pay all at once, but it doesn't really matter, because I would have spent it anyway. You just don't notice it as much when you spend it once a week, it hurts less. A husband and wife own the tobacco shop and even though I can buy tobacco at the supermarket, I like to support the little shops and buy as many things there as I can. I can buy stamps there and trash bags and my bus tickets and newspapers and greeting cards and chocolate bars. Not that I buy the latter, of course. No, I never do.

I still haven't officially lost 9 kilos, I'm very close, but not quite there. I keep hanging around the same amount of weight and I hadn't weighed myself in quite a few days. I kept forgetting to get on the bathroom scale. That shows you how important it was for me. Apparently not very.

Jesker hasn't been for his walk yet, but I think he knows that it's raining, because he doesn't show the least inclination. Maybe he'll want to eat first. I accidentally bought him some puppy food and he likes it very much. It's got a lot of chunks of meat in it, it must be very nutritious.

A single church bell is ringing, that's unusual, as a rule more than one rings. It must be for something special. Maybe in remembrance of someone. It sounds very ominous, as if it is a warning signal for danger. It is a hypnotizing sound and you can't tune it out. I am waiting for it to stop and for all the bells to start ringing jubilantly like they usually do around this time. I've opened up the kitchen window so I can hear it better and now I can hear the single bell ring, but I can also hear the bells from the other church. There, now everything has stopped.

Not being a Catholic makes all this bell ringing a little bit mysterious for me. I don't know all the rules that go with it. I'm surrounded by Catholic churches, but I never see any of my neighbors go to church, yet they all claim to be Catholic. They've all been baptized and have Catholic names and have done their first communion, but they never go to church. I would excommunicate them all. They'll all want to be buried on sacred ground with the rites of a priest, no doubt.

Well, Jesker has eaten his puppy food and now wants to go out and it has stopped raining, so I guess we better go.

I hope you all have a great Sunday with many jubilant church bells.

Ciao...

Is it time yet?

I'm up early, but I've done so much sleeping since last night that I think it doesn't matter if I'm up already now. I hardly remember what I did last night, except that I think I slept a lot and when I woke up I was ravished and ate a two egg omelet, which surprisingly stayed down. It was all light and fluffy, though, and Jesker sat beside me for naught, because I ate it all by myself. He resigned himself to that, but what else could he do? Gandhi came and licked the salt from the plate and Jesker watched her with a curious look on his face, because he knew that plate was empty.

Speaking of cats, Toby and Gandhi now stand on the kitchen counter together and wait for me to get there and then find all possible ways to show me how much they love me and purr loudly.
They make quite a production out of it, but it's all to get that delicious food in the pouches. Boy, do they love that! They hardly give me time to put it in their dishes, they are already eating before I'm done. It pleases me very much to see them eat with such an appetite and I really don't mind. They also eat their kibbles still, so they are getting enough nutrition, although the more food in pouches they eat, the less kibbles. Those cats have me all figured out.

Eduard always says that those animals don't have anything else to do but observe us all day long and they completely figure us out that way. I think there is a lot of truth in that.

Today is creative therapy day and the first thing I'm going to do is destroy that ugly sculpture I made and not start a new one, because I think that right now I should not be sculpting. I'm obviously not in a sculpting state of mind and haven't been for a while. You must have the right feeling in your fingers in order to sculpt well and I don't have it lately. I also don't have any place left to put another sculpture. I have four standing in the bedroom on the shelves there and three in the living room.

I had started a silly doodle, but I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it. I have to look at it today and see what I think about it. It is very possible that I'll make a collage, because that's more the frame of mind I'm in. Making a statement about something or other, be it politics or society or mental health or whatever. Anything to get a feeling out. Whatever feeling. It doesn't matter which one.

I'm also seeing Von this afternoon, but we're not going to eat ourselves silly, we've already decided on that. Since we're both on a healthy eating diet, it doesn't seem like such a good idea and the fact is, that once you've started to eat something good, you only want more of it, so to prevent that, we're not even going to start.

I can buy a delicious Camembert for 99 cents at my local supermarket. I bought some the other day and let it get to room temperature and then ate it and it was great. Jesker also liked it. I couldn't finish it by myself. So, now I always have the Brie or the Camembert to look forward to, although I don't know which I prefer.

I'm going to take great care in how I dress today. It's not going to be too warm, so I can even wear long sleeves. I want to look really nice and I'm going to plow through my closet and find just the right things. So, it really is nice that I've gotten up early today. I can even do some ironing if I have to.

I hope you all have a great day and that many good things happen to you.

Ciao...

Forgetting Time...

Jesker is so busy sleeping that he is forgetting that it's past his time to go for a walk and I'm not going to remind him, but just let him soundly sleep on his blanket and wait to see what will happen when he wakes up all confused as to what time of the day it is.

He ate his dinner with great appetite a while ago, after barking at me for thinking I had forgotten about it, but he was just a little bit ahead of me, because I didn't get home until 3 pm this afternoon and immediately had to entertain the neighbor lady who was waiting for her taxi. This was after I maneuvered my bike safely into the hallway without bumping into Jesker who was happy to see me and wanted to show me how much immediately.

Luckily, Gandhi was not at the front door, because she would have escaped into the stairwell and I would have had to go up after her or wait for her to come back down again. Sometimes that works and I leave the front door ajar and she walks back in on her own. I don't know where she was this afternoon, but she's sound asleep on the sofa now.

I've found out, that despite all my good intentions, I do not clean house when I get home after 3 pm in the afternoon. I'm happy to be home and walk Jesker and have a mug of coffee or a glass of juice, but the thought of getting the dusting rag out and the vacuum cleaner is more than I can handle. I just don't want to do any chores, while you would think that creative therapy would not be that emotionally draining, but for some reason it is and when I get home, I feel tired and not willing to do any work.

When I got to creative therapy, I got my painting out that I had started on a few weeks ago and went and got a plate of acrylic colors, bu then I sat there and felt a huge panic coming up and it was as if I wanted to run out of the room as quickly as I could, which did not go unnoticed by the therapist, who then removed the painting and the paint and gave me coloring markers and mandalas and had me color those instead for the rest of the morning.

This was good, because it was simple and calmed me down and I could just focus on coloring them as well as I could without it becoming complicated, so the panic dissipated and disappeared in the end.

Then, for our one hour break, I had a long conversation with one of the other women in my group and we talked about many things that were near to our hearts and it made the hour go by very quickly. It was good to talk about the things we talked about and I felt better afterwards. It was a relief and a release. That's how you can be there for each other. It's very mutual.

During the second half of therapy I doodled, not on a large piece of paper, but on an 8 by 10, which was just the right size for me at that moment. I'm going to color it in with coloring markers and there are some neat colors, so I look forward to that. Isn't it strange how in that class I can't seem to do anything complicated? It may be the atmosphere in the room, or the therapist, but I feel more fragile there, as if I can't do anything monumental. It all has to be little work. No sculptures and no collages.

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I've just walked Jesker. He woke up and wanted to be petted, but after that he wanted his outing, make no mistake about it. So we went on our merry way and when we were half way home again, it started to rain and it is raining pretty hard now, but oh, so cozy inside. We didn't get very wet, as the rain splatters were far apart when it started and we ran home. It's not cold outside, so it is a pleasant rain and good for the grass that is growing on the fields where there is a green haze now. Every day it is a little greener.

I have to stop writing now, because I want to watch the 8 pm news, otherwise I feel so uninformed. I must turn off the computer and do something else for a while.

I hope you all have a very nice evening and that you've enjoyed your day. I've enjoyed my new bike.

Ciao...

Sunday evening.

Th great thing about Sunday is that you can catch up on a lot of things, such as your mail and Facebook, but you can also take great naps on the sofa while you "watch" the Tour de France and that is even better.

I think I really needed the nap to set my mind straight as I was a little discombobulated for whatever reason, but I did get the mail done. Quite suddenly, when I wasn't expecting it myself, I grabbed my reading glasses and the mail and sat down at the dining table and opened each envelope and dealt with the contents immediately and appropriately, and so I worked my way through the whole pile.

It was rather painless and not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I had to fill in some forms that will have to be mailed and filed away a bunch of things and received one unexpected bill that I was unhappy about, but it can't be helped and will automatically be withdrawn from my account on the 21st, which is good, because I'll actually have money then. I'll have to borrow from myself to make up the difference.

I count dealing with the mail as one chore, but a big one and I don't expect myself to do two other chores afterwards. I deserve kudos after I deal with the mail and file it all in the right place. I always think a slice of bread with jam is in order. That's a treat for me and an extra glass of fruit juice.

I'm sure not getting all my medication in this morning screwed me up a bit, but I took my evening dose early, so I'm okay now. I have my doses of medicines that I take during the day, but they are not all the same, so it was just waiting for the evening dose to come along to make sure everything was in my system again. I couldn't really repeat the morning dose, because I thought that some of it had gone down. I'll ask my psychiatrist the next time I see him.

I had that slice of bread with luncheon meat before I went to sleep and I think that's what the problem was. It wasn't properly digested yet and sat like a lump in my little stomach. I mustn't eat just before I go to sleep.

The nap was wonderful and I didn't wake up until after 6 pm. Jesker was laying on his blanket and then scooted close for some petting. We've been out for his last walk and it wasn't that cold outside, even though it was overcast. Cloudy days with warm temperatures are expected. That means I can wear my slippers, which give my little toe an opportunity to heal so well.

I have to not forget to put out the trash and the green container and go to bed on time to get up early in the morning for my creative therapy. My plan is to not miss any classes this week and I want to stick to that.

I have started reading again before I fall asleep, though I don't get very far. Just a few pages and I'm asleep, so it will take me a while before I finish my book. Tessa Edwards had some great suggestions for books and I really can't wait to add them to my wish list. I have a wish list a mile long over at Bol.com. that I have to update now.

I just want to own books, have them in my possession with all their pretty covers and titles. I'd like to have a book case full of unread books. That would be a real treasure to me. I have two at home that I have to finish before I get to order any others. When I'm almost done with the second one, I'll order a new one or two.

I can't do book mooch, because I'm loathe to give books away, even if I get new ones in their place. I just want people to send me books, I don't want to send any away.

Well, I'll make myself a nice mug of decaf now and enjoy the rest of my time behind the computer doing very many important things. You know how that goes. One project leads to another.

Have a good night and nice weather tomorrow.

Ciao...

Rotten in Denmark...

You would think that taking eight pills would not be a problem for my gastric band, but I have just sat here in complete misery, unable to take another sip of coffee, because I had taken my morning medication. I felt like I was going to upchuck everything and finally did and now I don't know how much medication stayed in and what came out, but at least I'm out of my misery. Man, that was awful!

I'm sorry to start with such a dubious subject, but it was high on my mind, having just happened. I will now try and turn my thoughts elsewhere and speak of other things.

Yesterday I managed to sit behind the computer most of the day, except for the evening when I fell asleep again on the sofa with the TV on, which was very pleasant. When I wake up, I think I'm capable of doing all sorts of things, but I'm a fool and just need to go to bed and keep on sleeping.

I made myself a slice of bread with lunch meat and then had to guard it with my life against Toby who tried to steal the meat off my bread. Luckily, he found the old piece of lunch meat that I had left in his dish, and that I hadn't wanted to put on my bread, and he ate that instead.

While I was sitting behind the computer yesterday, I visited the writing sites Pen 10 and Six Sentences and read the short stories there and left comments and wrote my own two short stories which you can read here and here. They're kind of gruesome, so you're warned ahead of time.

I find I like writing gruesome stories and I like for there to be a shock value at the end. I don't know why this is so, but it is a new development and one I'm embracing for now. It's not like I go around thinking these things all day long or being afraid of them.

In the meantime, I'm supposed to be getting dressed and walking Jesker, but he is sound asleep by my feet and snoring. I think I will do some chores today, as I did hardly anything yesterday and for some reason my guilt feelings are playing up. For one thing, I have to open all the mail from the last few days. That may or may not be a shocking experience. I'll have to brace myself for it. Didn't I say something about that a while back?

Okay, I'm getting the show on the road.

Have yourself a lovely Sunday with as much rain as you need.

Ciao...

Cheese...

When Von had that cheese platter yesterday, she had all sorts of cheese on there, many of them were soft French cheeses and I tried some of them too. I love them so much, so when I was at the supermarket this morning, I nosed around in the cheese section and bought myself a small piece of Brie and when I got home, I let it get to room temperature before I ate it in two sittings.

I just ate the last bit of it and am very full, but it was delicious and I'm going to do that more often. I'm picking a different one next time, maybe a Camembert or a blue cheese, I'll see.The fact is that I like the softer cheeses the best, or the crumbly ones, and I like it when the cheese sort of melts in your mouth, when you hardly have to chew it.

I like food that is a delicacy and that you don't have to eat huge amounts of to be happy with, that just the flavor and the texture make you happy if you have some of it and you can savor the memory of it for a long time afterwards. I got this piece of Brie for 80 cents, so it didn't break the bank. It's a repeatable experience. I hope I can get another kind of cheese equally reasonably priced.

For a change, the animals didn't beg for any, so I assume they don't like French cheese and it's an acquired taste, but I must say that Jesker doesn't usually beg for food, unless it's a cookie, whereas Tobie will steal the lunch meat off your sandwich and has with a quick haul of his paw. He's very rude and uncivilized and has no manners whatsoever.

I've bought the food in pouches again for the cats and I can make a box last 6 days. You should see them when I empty the pouches into their dishes. It's like they have never been fed before. They attack their food like lions and eat it with great appetite. It's pure luxury for them, but that is because they don't like their kibbles very much and leave them sitting in the bowl getting stale and they make Gandhi barf. I got tired of cleaning it up.

As I'm writing this, I have the Tour de France on in the background. I like to turn the TV on when the Tour is on. I enjoy watching the scenery and listening to the commentators talk. They don't talk a lot of nonsense and do discuss interesting things considering they have to talk for such a long time. Their voices are calm and quiet and civilized. If I was laying on the sofa now, I could easily fall alseep by the sound of them.

Even though it is Saturday, and officially a work day of sorts, I haven't done much yet. In a while, I will get up and do a set of three chores. I've done a little thing here and there, but nothing that you can notice. I talked to both my sisters on the phone and I have to write a birthday card for my aunt and mail it this afternoon. I'll take Jesker for a walk at the same time.

Have a good rest of the Saturday, people. It's been raining here, off and on, so it's not very exciting to go out there. Luckily, I pick the right moments.

Ciao...

Back home again.

Jesker is still a little wobbly and sleepy, but he walked out of the vet's office to my sister's car unaided. When we came home he was a little confused about what he was supposed to do, but then figured out he had to follow me inside and walk into the apartment, where he promptly went to sleep and that is pretty much all he has been doing since he's been home.

The vet cleaned his teeth and also cleaned the infected canine all the way to the root and has put him on antibiotics for 6 days. He said he didn't need to pull the tooth, because it was in there very solidly. So now we hope for the best.

When the vet gave him the shot to put him under, it hurt and Jesker got very angry and I had to hold onto him or else...then he slowly got very sleepy and wobbly and pretty soon he was sound asleep at my feet. Then the vet could have a good look at this tooth and tell me what he was going to do to it.

I left him cleaning Jesker's teeth and went home to get my purse and bike and rode it downtown to meet Von. Luckily, I did not get rained on once. We sat on the terrace under the heated canopy and had a perfect view of everybody walking by and only saw a couple of men that were worth a soft whistle from me.

Von had come into some money and treated and told me to order whatever I wanted, so I ordered an ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, which was served on a stylish dish with chocolate artfully arranged over it, with a fruit in the middle. Von had the cheese platter with grapes and sweetened fruit and salad and a myriad of cheeses and bread of which I tasted some too and they were delicious.

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I got so sleepy while I was writing that, that I went to sleep on the sofa for the whole evening and missed the news again. Oh well...

Jesker woke me up early this morning because he was hungry. Of course, he hadn't eaten since the day before yesterday, so he ate a big bowl of food and some Bonzo bones and then went out back for a piddle (his first one). He's now sound asleep again, completely satiated.

Although I had eaten a lot yesterday, this did not reflect itself on the bathroom scale this morning where I weighed less then yesterday, but we all know weight is fickle, so I won't put too much worth on it. I just thought I would have gained weight, that's all.

Here's a doodle I made the other day and colored with brush and ink:


And here's a sculpture that I painted yesterday, it's called: The Golem.


Just some of my latest endeavors. There are another doodle and another sculpture coming up Monday and then that will be it for the sculptures. I haven't made anymore and I don't know when I will. I may make another collage, I'm working on another doodle and, of course, there is that painting I have to finish. I think I will work on the painting on Tuesdays and do nothing else that day. Ha, listen to my famous last words!

Well, I think that's it for me for right now. I'll write more later when I'm really awake. This has all been slumber writing.

Talk to you soon,

Ciao...

Trying to think of a title...

It's very early in the morning, but I slept on the sofa all of last evening and then went to bed and slept well there. As is usual when my mood changes, I needed to sleep on the spot, and I slept through the 8 pm news and the 10 pm news, so I have no idea what is happening in the country. This may not be as terrible as it sounds and if I watch the news tonight I should be all caught up again. There's been no coup d'etat and no revolution has broken out or I would have heard about it probably, because it's a small country and news travels fast.

As usual, things look less dire in the morning, but I'm not jubilating the new day. I find myself getting irritated that the cigarette that I just lighted is smoked already and that my mug of coffee is empty again. It seems to me these things should last longer and I should enjoy them more. I feel a terrible desire to eat many cookies or many chocolates, but will stick to healthy yogurt instead and actually wish I had chocolate pudding.

I find that the moment I get depressed, I want to eat carbohydrates and sweets and I'm glad that the supermarket is just far enough away not to give in to each craving. If it were within walking distance, I would be spending my last cash there.

So, today is Friday and if the weather co-operates I will meet my friend Von on the terrace of Café Charlemagne on the Our Dear Lady Square, but we've already said we're meeting no matter what the weather, because it's been at least three weeks since we last saw each other, but I sure hope it's not going to be raining as is predicted, because you know how it messes up your hair. I may take the bus.

Today is Jesker's big day at the vet too and he's not allowed to eat anything today, which is going to be tough. I'm going to have to deny him his treat after we walk and it will confuse him.

Oh shoot, I am continually leaning to the left again and then wondering why I can't see the keyboard properly. Well, it's a well known phenomenon now that also happens with a downward mood. I lean to the left when I don't feel well.

I'm going to put this baby to bed now as I don't have anything exciting to tell you. Hopefully there will be some later today.

Ciao...

Friendly Goodbyes...

The "cleaning lady" and I had a very friendly parting of our ways this morning. She came at 11 am and I made her a cup of coffee and she looked around and was impressed and I told her how I cleaned house nowadays and she was impressed again and had me explain it in the smallest detail so she could use it for her other clients, and then we both came to the conclusion that I really didn't need her anymore and we were both relieved and happy about that.

I have to say that she was genuinely pleased for me and I do think that she thought that in some way she had made a contribution, and maybe she did in as far as she got me off my butt and cleaning house again. There was a challenge to me after all.

In the time that these people came to see me my mood changed from a downcast one to an upbeat one and I stopped taking the Temazepam during the day. I also stopped being so tired all the time and got much more energy and I stopped taking naps during the day. So it is a combination of factors that helped me on the right road again. Nobody gets to take the complete credit, except for the natural fluctuations that happen in my mood on the long term every season.

It is very dark in here. Black clouds have gathered and we are being pummeled by strong winds and rain. I was just out there going to the tobacconist for my weekly supply of tobacco and filter tubes and it was dry then and pleasant, but I saw the black clouds coming. I had already walked Jesker and made sure that no laundry was hanging out on the clothing line.

I'm now into multi tasking. My friend Lucien called me, and rather then sit there and waste the time chatting, I made the bed while I talked to her and gathered dishes and stacked them in the sink and filled it with hot soapy water. Then I took a wet cloth and wiped all the surfaces in the living room while I talked to her and emptied the old kibbles from the cat bowls and put in new ones and also put new kibbles in the dog's bowl. I couldn't wash the dishes, because for that I needed two hands and if I clench the phone between my ear and my shoulder, I very often get cut off, so I don't do that anymore. But I would if I could.

I was at the vet with Jesker and he gave me two tubes of antibiotic cream that I have to apply twice a day. I mentioned that Jesker was snorting and sneezing and the vet looked at his teeth immediately and saw that he had an infected canine, so we have an appointment on Friday afternoon when Jesker will be anesthetized and have his tooth looked at and maybe pulled out. I will pick up his drowsy body at 7 pm with my sister and her car and take him home where he can sleep the anesthetic off. The poor dog, it's always something and it will make him even more scared of the vet.

I'm not hypo manic anymore and haven't been since yesterday. I'm in a downward phase now and don't feel in the least enthusiastic, although I was earlier in the day. Somebody's come and popped my balloon. I can't blow it up anymore.

Hey, you get me in all my moods and right now I'm in a depressed one and I don't feel good. I think I'll go do a set of three of something to try and help me get out of it. It doesn't matter what it is,as long as it's useful. I know, I'll open the dreaded mail that's be waiting for me for two days.

Ciao...

What's she doing?

I have been doing sets of three chores all day and got a bunch of things done and one thing I have now is a very clean bedroom. I'm going to do another set of three chores after I finish this post, but I don't know yet what I'm going to do. There are a number of things I could do. I'll take my pick.

Oh yes, I vacuumed the whole apartment. You know how much I hate vacuuming because of the noise and I'm always afraid that I will not hear the doorbell or the telephone or a burglar sneaking up behind me.

Well, this time I turned on the music rather loud to the point that I could still hear it when the vacuum cleaner was on and I thought that if I could hear that, I could hear anything, and suddenly I wasn't so bothered anymore. There is some twisted logic in there somewhere, there really is. I could recognize which song Amy Winehouse was singing and all was right with the world. See, that's all I need to do, is listen to Amy Winehouse.

I also got rid of most of the cobwebs, but just see some that I missed, so I need to do those next.

The vacuum cleaner wasn't working good enough and I couldn't figure out why, because the bag wasn't nearly full yet, but a little bit of investigation led to a blockage right in the hose where it enters the vacuum cleaner. There was quite a bit of dog hair there and I pulled it all out and, my God, you wouldn't believe the difference it made in suction power. I had been vacuuming at half the power for the last couple of times that I used it thinking it was all in my imagination.

Well, you do start to doubt yourself when you don't initially see anything wrong, but I should have looked better. I'm not a helpless female, after all, am I? Take that thing apart and have a good look!

Sitting here I already see four things I can do and they are all little things, so I really should think of two more. Holy cow! I'm becoming obsessed with the numbers three and six and nine etc. Maybe I will become an obsessive compulsive person. I wonder if there is a cure? Maybe I will have to do things by fours. Either way I'm screwed. I'll develop strange neuroses and rituals involving certain numbers and have to do things a number of times or else tragedy will strike.

Well, better not think of that.

I'm drinking decaf and it isn't doing a thing for me. As a matter of fact, it is making me sleepy and I think now is not a good time to take a nap. I think that in a fairly short time I'll switch to regular coffee again.

I have to take Jesker to the vet, because he has been snorting and sneezing, not a lot, but some, and his eye is turning red again. A few days after I run out of antibiotic ointment his eye turns bad again. Just when it had looked really good. He'll be thrilled to go there.

Am I hooked on blogging? Well, the answer to that would be a definite yes, but now I don't feel so bad about it because of the chores. I am going to end this post, though, and tackle a few things now before I lose my stride.

Have a good evening, we're having a rainy one here, but I did ask for rain, didn't I? Be careful what you wish for.

Ciao...

Oh no, not again!

I had regained 8 ounces and I thought, "Well, that's okay, that's what my body is comfortable at," but this morning I got on the bathroom scale and had lost them.

Yesterday I had a tall glass of yogurt (which turned out to be too much), two slices of bread with mayonnaise and salami, and three glasses of multi vitamin fruit juice and I didn't go hungry. As a matter of fact, I felt very full and made myself eat the second slice of bread.

Bodyweight is fickle and you never know what it's going to do. Wat I'm going to do now is stay below 92 kilos and that will be my only aim. Whatever I lose is a bonus. My only other objective will be to eat healthy and make sure I get all my nutrients in. I think adding the yogurt is good for protein and calcium and it is very filling.

I'm not at ergo therapy. Our therapist is on vacation and someone else is taking her place and that happens to be the therapist who took her place several months ago when things got out of hand, so I was not very motivated to go this morning. Something in me rebelled and said no.

I want to take the opportunity to do several sets of chores of threes, but I haven't quite decided on what all of them are going to be, so I'll surprise myself. I just hope I have enough cleaning product.

Since it is morning, I am all calmness and serenity. I have slept well, as if I do anything else nowadays, but the tranquilizers and the sleeping pill do wonders. I hardly remember falling asleep or getting into bed even.

It's a lot cooler today, only 14 degrees Celsius, but in the apartment it's still 23 degrees. I could open all the windows and the back door, but then it would get too cold in here. This is pleasant and since I'm wearing my slippers, I do want my feet to stay warm. I'm also wearing leggings for warmth and my mini skirt for ease. It's nice to inelegantly cross your legs when you wear your leggings and a mini skirt.

Since the cats were being so finicky about their food, I bought them pouches of wet food, and boy, they think they've died and gone to heaven. It's inordinately expensive and I can't do it all the time, but for a treat every once in a while it is okay. I'm a sucker for happy animals who practically steal the food out of my hands before I can put it into their bowls.

Jesker was being a picky eater yesterday and wouldn't finish what was in his bowl and kept barking at me and his bowl until I took it away and gave him a Bonzo bone. That settled him down immediately. He ate the rest of it later in the evening.

Boy, try to figure out your animal sometimes, huh? He thinks he's being very clear to me and I have to instinctively know what he means. I have to be very tuned into him. He figures he's talking to me and telling me the whole story and I have to be bright enough to understand it.

He uses a lot of body language too.By the way he sits in a certain way or paces around or holds his ears, I have to make up which particular thing he wants. And then there is the urgent look in his eyes or the begging look in his eyes and the "I'm bored and I don't know what I want" look. Actually, dogs are a lot like little kids at the non verbal stage, now that I think of it.

It's time to start on my first set of three chores. I'm going to sweep three rooms first. Take along the cobwebs at the same time as a bonus. That will be a mighty fine thing to do!

Have yourself a good day.

Ciao...

Where I ought to be...

It's late at night and I ought to be in bed, but it is so cozy here right now that I'm reluctant to go and climb under the duvet. Instead I will make myself some decaf and think of things to write about.

Jesker just had his second meal of the day, which he had to remind me of. I thought he would forget in my effort to make him lose a little bit of weight, but no way, he stood there barking at me and his dish and then at the can until I got my act together and set the filled dish down in front of him. He is now snoring contently on his blanket and he will be out of it until the morning.

The cats are reluctantly eating their kibbles that they liked so much at first. Cats are very frustrating animals. Their tastes change constantly and what they like one week, they dislike the next. I always feel I have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to their food and keep picking out just the right one. I should just stubbornly stick with one food and let them eat that one or else...it's up to them, but I'm a softy and fall for all the promises made on the bags of kibbles in the supermarket. New, improved, better tasting, full of meat, full of fish! They see me coming from a mile away. There's a sucker born every minute.

I cleaned the doors and they now are amazingly free of that grimy sheen that was on them. I only have two doors left to do and then the woodwork. That will be divided up into other three chore jobs. I have a bad shoulder, so repetitively scrubbing doors gets painful after a while and I'm not that good left handed. Three doors are just enough to handle. Then I have to wash the window panes above the doors and I also noticed more cobwebs, so I have to get the vacuum cleaner out and eradicate them. I will do that on Thursday. The Big Cleaning Day!

I have this attitude right now that I will not be defeated by the continual dirt in the apartment and that I will get on top of it. I have taken it on as a personal challenge and while I'm cleaning, I notice all the things that have been left undone for a long time, but with my new system I will get them done and keep them done, come hell or high water.

Jesker comes and investigates to see what I'm doing. He watches me with a very interested look on his face, but doesn't like me to close the door on him when I have to clean the other side. He is used to all the doors being open. He is also very alert when the kitchen window and the back door are open and constantly thinks he hears things that he has to bark at. I don't correct him, because I want him to be alert, and I praise him every time he barks at some real or imagined noise. I want him to be my guard dog and scare people away.

The cats sit in the open kitchen window and observe the street. They have found out that it is not their territory, that other cats rule there, and they stick close to the window, to my great relief. Sometimes they come running inside very quickly, because they think they've seen something scary, but then they very carefully go back out again. They are very curious.

So you see that my life would not be half as interesting without the animals, although they cause more than half the work in the apartment. It's amazing how dirty a dog makes the place, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way. They are my constant source of humor and love.

Tomorrow I'm going to be busy. I have creative therapy until 3 pm and then I have to do groceries and go see my SPN and go by the pharmacy on the way home. I don't know if I'll get to do three chores, probably not. That will be my day off then. Or it will be a one chore day. Oh wait, the groceries and the pharmacy are two chores, so I only need to do one thing. Aha!

Now I'm going to bed, because it's very late and I have to be somewhat sensible.

Sleep tight, all you people, some of you who are already in your bed.

Ciao...

HIgh Noon!

I've had one mug of coffee and a tall glass of fruit juice since I've been up and clearly that's not enough, so I have to make up the shortage quickly. I just made myself a double Senseo and its creaminess is beckoning me to drink it while still too hot. Do I risk a burned tongue?

I'm so glad today is Sunday and nothing is really expected of me. I have to put the clean dishes away, but that will be done in one minute's time, and I have to water the plants, which I neglected to do yesterday, and that is another minute's time. I've already walked Jesker the long way around and called my older sister and wrote emails and read some blogs.

The Exfactor is not coming over. I've called him off. I had such a good time while he was gone on his vacation and I didn't see him for ten days, that I didn't really want to see him again. He had gotten into the habit of coming here twice a week for a cup of coffee and I don't really want that anymore. I told him I wanted to see him if it was really necessary and not just to sit and chat about nothing over a cup of coffee.

We never have very important conversations anyway, because the Exfactor doesn't share a lot and he doesn't listen well to me. I want to be more independent of him and not rely on him for every little thing that goes wrong. I don't want him to assume that he can just drop in here whenever, letting himself in with his own keys.

The experiment with the Oxazepam failed. Yesterday afternoon I noticed that I became very agitated and uneasy and I immediately took the missing dose and very quickly felt much better. I suppose that after a few days my body started to notice the difference and wanted what was missing. I don't know why I get it in my head to change doses anyway, while everything is working fine. I guess I always want to prove to myself that I can do with less, especially since the Oxazepam sometimes tends to make me feel sleepy.

Although that may be intrinsic to myself and part of my mood changes. It seems I get very tired before I have a mood change, possibly before I get hypomanic, and I need to keep an eye on that.

I feel sleepy right now, but I refuse to go and lie down, though the sofa beckons. I won't do it unless I teeter from sleepiness. I slept very well last night and although the alarm clock went off at seven, I have no memory of shutting it off and slept until 10 am. So did Jesker on his pillow beside the bed.

By the way, his eyes are looking very good. There is no redness below his upper eyelids and I think that for now the infection is gone, though I keep applying the ointment and I won't rest easy until we've seen the vet. It will be a minor miracle if it's gone. I worried about him getting a bath and it irritating his eyes, but I needed not have been. If anything, it seemed to have helped.

Laurie's Boscoe just turned fourteen and he has diabetes as well as cataracts, but he seems to be doing great and it gives me great hope for Jesker who is twelve. Cocker Spaniels don't get that old, but I hope to have Jesker with me for a few more years.

Well, I guess I'll go do some ironing and the other little chores now. Three chores and then I can sit down again, that's the rule. I hope I don't give out ahead of time.

Have a lovely day. I'll be back here later.

Ciao...

Vacuuming...

Because I've done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen and dusted the living room and should now vacuum the same, I am sitting here procrastinating and reading the last of the posts of the blogs that I had not read yet.

I am avoiding vacuuming and trying to tell myself that I can do other things instead, such as fold two loads of dry laundry which are hanging outside and on the drying rack in the bathroom, and then iron the clothes that are too wrinkled to hang straight back into my closet.

If I do those things instead, will I be excused from vacuuming and will I be allowed to sweep instead? I think so. I've pretty much convinced myself and the day isn't over yet and there is lots of time to do all the things I plan to do.

I changed my bed last night and there is nothing better than sleeping between clean sheets on clean pillow cases and if I were completely nuts, I'd do it every other day for the pleasure of it. I used to know someone who put clean sheets on her bed every day, but she had a dryer and I can't compete with that. I need at least two days to wash the sheets and get them dry. That is if the weather co-operates. If they have to dry inside, it may take longer.

The water coming from my hot water heater is so hot, that it's nearly boiling, so I have to look in a while to see if I can lower the temperature, because I don't need it quite that hot. I can barely do the dishes in it without burning myself and have to add cold water. So it's too hot and a waste of energy. I wear rubber gloves, but they hardly help and today I broke a glass and I think it was because of the heat, because I wasn't manhandling it.

Jesker has little bitty bones in his bowl, but his sight is so bad, that from a distance he doesn't see them and he stands beside me barking in the direction of his bowl. I say to him, "Go see, go get them," but that only makes him bark harder, so I have to get up and show him one of the little bitty bones. Finally he catches on and realizes that he has to keep going back to his bowl, even though he doesn't see anything. That's because of the cataracts. Jesker is becoming a dog with an instruction booklet.

I come with an instruction booklet myself. "Needs to blog after doing several household chores!" I don't even switch the computer off anymore in the afternoon. I'm either working behind the computer or listening to music on Deezer while I do my chores. I used to have a radio, but I'm without one now and I don't think I'll invest in one soon, because I don't like most radio stations. Even the Jazz Station plays very middle of the road jazz, very safe jazz that the lowest common denominator will like, so you can't expect anything exciting there.

Okay, onward Christian Soldiers! Up to my next chores. I must do at least three things before I get to sit down here again. That's a rule I just made up. I do have to keep a reign on myself.

See you in the next post!

Ciao...

Almost done with it...

Jesker got his haircut and bath yesterday and the woman who did the job didn't completely blow him dry, so he was pleasantly damp when I picked him up, which must have felt good to him, because the hot weather has been getting to him as well. He is constantly trying to find the coolest places to lie down.

My sister took us over there by car and after we dropped Jesker off, we did some grocery shopping, which was real handy for me and quite a luxury. I bought two different kinds of bread and two different kinds of lunch meats and some diet mayonnaise, so I can make good open faced sandwiches. Salami is my favorite. The bread is so delicious and comes from the supermarket's own bakery, so it's always fresh. Luckily, I can only eat one slice of it at the time and I'm very full, or else...

Once Jesker was home again, after he was missed a lot by me for that short little time, I took his picture, although he was a little reluctant. He was being coy.


So, there you have one clean cut and bathed dog.

I spent the afternoon doing a little bit of housework and a lot of computer time. I am so very much not interested in housekeeping that I only do things when they threaten to get out of hand and then I go at them with full gusto. Like hanging up another load of laundry, which I will have to do in a while.

I am especially anti housekeeping now that I have those people looking over my shoulder with their schedule and frankly, I am boycotting the whole thing.

This morning I was up before the alarm clock and had a very leisurely time waking up and being ahead of schedule. It's wonderful not to have to rush through things and take your time getting dressed. Not that the results were more spectacular. It's too hot to wear many clothes, so I pull on a skirt and a tank top and my slippers and that's it. Oh yes, and a necklace to finish the ensemble.

I had creative therapy, I have that a lot, don't I? You're right, I do. Three days a week, as a matter of fact. I don't know how I managed to get such a nice schedule, but I did.

I had seen a very modern magazine laying around in the smoking room and decided to swipe it and use the photographs in it to make a collage, which I haven't made in a long time. I wanted to finish it in one morning, so I hastily went to work and cut out the photos that I liked best. Then I sat out to paste and paint and paint and paint some more and then I crayoned. Giving me this result:


You can click on it for an enlargement, if you wish.

I was supposed to meet Von this afternoon at our favorite café, but as the time drew near, thunderclouds started to gather and it started to rumble and Von called to cancel, because the weather was supposed to get bad. Pretty soon the heavens opened up and rain fell accompanied by thunder and lightening. I immediately opened a couple of windows wide and felt a delicious draft going, but it still hasn't cooled off inside and it is 26 degrees Celsius in here. Still, the draft feels good and it's better than air conditioning.

Now I must go and do a little bit of cleaning out of my own free will, completely because I've decided to. Not because anybody is holding a gun to my head.

Have a nice rest of the day. I wish you rain if you need it and sunshine if you don't.

Ciao...

Waking up properly.

What I need to do now, in order to wake up properly, is write a post, otherwise I'll sit here forever in a state of half sleep wondering why I can't get the day started.

I shut the alarm clock off at 7 am and slept some more, but I dreamed like crazy, so it felt like a lot of work. They are all dreams in which I figure myself out and face some things of my past symbolically.

I've gotten pretty good at figuring things out, as long as I'm honest with myself and I'm willing to look at the unpleasant aspects too. There are no deep hidden meanings in my dreams, usually. Most of it is pretty blatant, as long as I remember that it's coming from my mind and my imagination, which runs rampant at times, I must admit.

I dreamed I was feeding Africa. I had a black baby on my hips and a broken bottle that would not hold milk, but it would hold whipped cream. So I went to a wealthy house and sneaked into the kitchen and filled the bottle with cream, but some elderly men lived there and found the whipped cream and wanted it all for themselves. That's a pretty obvious dream, isn't it?

I don't know, maybe that dream does have a hidden meaning that I'm not seeing. Maybe I see myself as a third world country, who knows? And the broken bottle is my psyche and the elderly men are the men in my life and I can't live on ordinary plain milk, I need whipped cream. Psychologically speaking, because when your psyche is broken, ordinary milk leaks out and whipped cream does not and Africa was just a vessel to pour my meaning into. If that's the case, I'm more clever than I thought I was.

Well, I'm pretty sure that's it.

Jesker is going to get a trim and a bath today. Totally unaware of this, he is laying here beside me not knowing that at 1:30 pm he will be at his "favorite" place ready to be made handsome again. He always trembles a bit when I leave him behind on the table and I feel just the littlest bit bad, but it must be done, otherwise he will start to resemble a mop.

Oh yes, speaking of food. I have now lost 8 kilos, because this morning I weighed 91.9 kilos. Pretty good, huh? I love it when I get on the bathroom scale and I'm not expecting anything and I've lost weight. For now, I have 6.9 kilos left to lose. After that I'll see if I can lose any more. If I keep eating the way I am now without going hungry, I'll lose weight automatically. If I add cheese or yogurt, I don't know what is going to happen. I may like them too much and eat too much of them.

That's the thing you see, I can't have anything in the refrigerator or the cupboards that I like a lot, because I'll start eating more often, not because I'm hungry, but because it tastes good. I have to be my own policeman when I shop or otherwise I'll buy the wrong things.

Well, I'm properly awake now, so I'll get the day started. Jesker has eaten and no doubt has to go and do big business now,

Have a great day, you all, we're actually expecting some rain along with the hot temperatures. It will be tropical.

Ciao...

Being assertive...

Well, up at 7 am, woken by the alarm clock out of a deep sleep, I sort of stumbled out of bed, knowing it was important to do so, but more than willing to sleep some more, but I made it to the kitchen to make a mug of strong coffee and set myself down on the sofa with Jesker between my knees and proceeded to pet him while I attempted to wake up.

Jesker was very demanding, wanting to be petted no matter what position he was in, standing up, sitting down, laying down and standing up again and no cat was allowed to come near. I guess he felt like we had to do a lot of bonding, but finally he'd had enough and went to sleep

I made myself a second mug of coffee and drew out the waking up process to the last minute and then got the show on the road in a hurry. Luckily, my hair is always in relatively good shape, so I don't have to mess with it much and I wear minimum make up and have it on in no time. I scrub my face first with pure olive soap and it makes my skin soft and don't apply anything to it in the summer time. No foundation, I mean, for the color. I just go rosy cheeked like apples.

I got to therapy with ten minutes to spare and then hardly anyone was there and I had time to drink a whole cup of coffee and smoke two cigarettes while we waited for the stragglers to get there, who came in at various intervals.

We had a heavy duty session and it seemed that everybody had something very important to discuss and get help with, including me, but everybody got input from the group and there was much concern and indignation and compassion and advice for everybody. Sometimes everyone of us takes on the role of therapist and gives advice, guided and led along the right path by the real therapist so we don't screw it up, but we do give our honest opinions.

When I said, "Is this it for me? Is this all I am going to be doing, making sure I stay in a stable middle of the road place without suffering from these terrible ups and downs?" The therapist said, "Oh no, that is just you applying your safety net, it is not who you are, it is going to allow you to be who you are, which is an intelligent, talented and creative woman." She said that everybody required structure and predictability to some extent to help them be who they could be and I had to work on that extra hard to make sure I always had it as a safety net.

So that made it a lot clearer to me and I know better what to do now, I understand it better now and see my abilities and under which conditions they will thrive and I am to an extent the mistress of that. I have to build in structure and predictability every day of my life.

This was my food for thought for today and tomorrow and the days after. I have to give it a place and apply it to my life. Learn to do that anyway. It's not a message I'm just going to brush aside or say that I understand it and then not give another thought to it.

Anyway, Jesker and Gandhi were in their usual spot behind the front door when I got home, and Jesker pushes Gandhi out of the way and tries to make sure that he gets all the attention, but Gandhi just slips around him and gets it anyway. I do have two hands, after all. Jesker is not that smart.

I had to send my registration to the Center for Work and Income, even though I don't have to apply for a job, I do need to be registered in order to receive my monthly allowance. It's very important that I do this every four months and I always have it written in my agenda with the paperwork by it. Jesker and I walked to the mailbox in the heat and made a circle back home again so he could sniff in some different spots for a change. This is always very exciting to him and he lifts his leg all over the place, marking his territory.

I was expecting the "cleaning person" and hadn't done a thing and didn't give a hoot. It wasn't his regular day to come and I thought it was too hot to do anything and I was not about to apologize for the way things looked. I figured he could come in for a cold drink and then leave again.

So, that is how I handled it. I told him what I did do, what I didn't do, how I didn't stick to the schedule and that I liked to figure it out on my own and offered him a cold glass of juice and then he left and next week the "cleaning woman" will be back from her vacation and we'll see what happens then. I couldn't care less. I just don't take it seriously anymore.

I just realized that I'm becoming uncomfortable revealing intimate bits of information about myself and that I want to censor what is written here and I am dubious as to what to do. I think I will let it stand for now, because I've written it down already, but I'm going to be more careful in the future. I think I will not be so specific from now on. Generalize things a little bit more.

Oh, something I don't need to generalize about is my weight, I weigh 92.4 kilos and that means I have lost 7.5 kilos or 16.5 lbs.. Yes, kudos, thank you! This is such a safe subject to talk about.

I'm going to watch the news and eat a tin of mackerel or a salami sandwich. I have to think about it. Choices!

I hope you all had a nice day and that you're not sweltering in the heat too much.

Ciao...

Groceries...

This morning I got up before the alarm clock even had a chance to go off. I had slept a lot on the sofa last night while attempting to watch TV. I tried to watch several programs, but spent nearly the whole evening in a sound slumber and when I woke up from it, I took my medicines and went straight to bed. My wonderful bed that I can't get enough of in my cozy, as yet unpainted, bedroom.

Luckily, although I was somewhat comatose when I woke up, I did have the wherewithal to get on the bathroom scale and weigh myself, which I always do first thing in the morning before I've had my coffee, and with my lightweight pajamas on. I weighed 92.6 kilos, so now I've lost more than 7 kilos. A big congratulations to myself is in order here, because now I'm at the halfway mark and have 7 kilos left to lose.

After that, I'm going to pretty much keep eating the way I am now, so we'll see what happens. I may add something like low fat yogurt or cottage cheese with pine apple or some other treat. I'll see. The thing is to keep eating nutritious and responsible and not eat empty calories or calories that are packed with sugars or fat.

The reason I got up early, was to get to the supermarket on time, so after I was awake sufficiently, I got dressed and walked Jesker and then made a shopping list, which pretty much looks the same every week, give or take a few items. Mentally, I walk through the store and make my list accordingly, so one item will follow the other in the right order.

I got on my extremely funky bike, which now sounds as if it will fall apart any minute, and rode it on the quiet streets to the store, where it was uncrowded, and got a trolley and started shopping. The only thing I had to stop and think about was the lunch meat and which kind to get. I finally settled on salami, which I think will make my open faced sandwiches very appealing this week. I try to pick a different lunch meat every week to keep things a bit exciting in my otherwise very unexciting menu.

I was home a little after 9 am and unpacked the groceries under Jesker's watchful eyes and fed him some good Bonzo chicken with vegetables. He made short shrift of that and licked his jowls afterwards. Then he ran around the living room a couple of times, which seems to be mandatory after he's eaten well, and then he collapsed in a heap and slept, no doubt to aid his digestion.

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I'm so happy with my haircut, that I keep looking in the mirror to admire it. I think, after all, that I'm happier with it than when I have it cut at the walk in Chinese on the market square. This should be a lesson for me that I mustn't forget. And, of course, there is also the ambiance of which there isn't any at the Chinese and lots of it at the shop around the corner. And there is the fact that they know me well there, because I've been coming there for years, so I was being awfully disloyal by going to the Chinese who doesn't know me from Adam and who could not care less, really, about my hair.

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Today is plant watering day again and I have to tell you that, except for the hardy fern, which needs to be repotted, all the plants are doing well and none of them are dropping leaves anymore, That means I've stopped killing them with kindness and in a little while, I'm going to look for a bigger pot to put the fern in. I would like some more plants, but I really don't have any space to put them, unless I find some that really like dark corners.

The fig plant is turning into a monstrosity and really should be in a bigger pot, but I don't have one as yet, so it has to be patient for just a little while. It is standing on a somewhat fragile plant stand which really can't take a bigger pot, so I will have to stand it on the ground and hope the cats leave it alone. Actually, I just realized that I have a big pot outside to put it in. Aha, what a good idea. Well, you all know what I'm going to be doing next.

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Jesker just moves his exhausted body from one place in the living room to the next. Now he's laying under the desk, so I have to make sure that I don't stretch out my legs and kick him. You can tell he's an old dog by the amount of sleeping that he does and his contentment by his gentle snoring. Or so I interpret it. I like the sound. It would irritate me if a human being would snore like that, but coming from Jesker I find it soothing. I have no desire to pinch his nose.

Well, I'm off to rescue plants from their too small pots. Wish me luck and a green thumb or two.

Have a nice day, you all.

Ciao...