Monday, November 08, 2010

Brewing coffee...

Tyke has managed to get my cigarettes and lighter from the third shelf of the bookcase in my bedroom and chew the lighter to pieces, leaving me with one lighter that doesn't work at all and one lighter that works badly. This is, to say the least, very frustrating and I have a sore thumb to prove it. Luckily, I have a stove lighter that barely works and that will do for now. After that, I don't know what I will do. I hope the supermarket will be open by that time. 

I had the windows open during the night, but it was much too cold and I closed most of them and turned on the heater when I got up. Now I'm sitting here nice and warm in my bathrobe drinking my first cup of coffee. I think I will be okay in a little while. There is hope for recovery yet. Coffee does wonders, after all, and this is only my first cup. Imagine what the second cup will do. I should stop yawning soon. 

I got into my cold bed last night and slowly heated up a spot for myself. I listened to the results of the football games as I did. Little by little I got warmer and sleepier, until I drifted off to sleep. Falling asleep is always the easiest thing to do. Staying asleep is the toughest thing. 

It's quite a nice thing to heat up a spot for myself in the cold bed. I think about getting an electric blanket, but I think I would miss the ritual of warming up the bed with my body. The initial coldness makes you appreciate the warmth afterwards all the more, especially when you get your arms under the duvet and the duvet up to your chin.

So, I've got to go to the supermarket first thing this morning and then do some chores. The Exfactor can't come and do any groceries today. I will have to get what I need myself. This is quite nerve wrecking to me, but it must be done. If I go at 8 o'clock, there will hardly be anyone there and I will have the store to myself. Those are the most user friendly circumstances. I dislike riding my bike over there and having to get the groceries on it. I do wish I had a car. It would make everything so much simpler. I feel so vulnerable on my bike. It gives me a panic attack. 

I think I will do my chores as soon as I've finished drinking my coffee. There's no point in waiting until the last minute. It will feel good to get them out of the way. I still have to hang up all that laundry and I have to clean up the kitchen. It will give me some sense that things are under control and that's a better base to start the rest of the day from. 

I've just taken my medicines and I've taken two tranquilizers in the hope that it will calm me down enough to be able to take care of things in a peaceful way. It will be wonderful to not have this feeling of extreme anxiety.

Wish me luck and have a very good day.


1 comment:

Bernie said...

I do wish you luck Nora, I have only experienced one panic attack in my life and it was horrible. So I am saying a prayer that your trip to the supermarket goes well.
Take care/I care.....:-) Hugs