Monday, November 08, 2010

Been there, done that...

With all the courage I could master, I went to the store this morning. I got on my bike and rode it there like it was a daily occurrence. In my head I had prepared myself for all the possible things that could go wrong, down to the finest details. I really was prepared for anything at all. Nothing happened on the way over there and I parked my bike and got a shopping cart without any problems., but that's because I was so well prepared, you see.

Once I was inside the store, all my anxiety dropped away from me like it always does. I enjoy being in the store and would stay there forever if I could, just shopping and having a general good time. I enjoy picking out the things that I need and comparing prices and finding new items. I found some really neat lighters that look like mobile phones with antennas and, of course, I had to buy them. They're big and easy to keep track of. 

After I went through the check out, I was outside with my groceries and had to load them in my bicycle bags and they just fit. I was a little nervous about riding my bike home, but it was not nearly as bad as having ridden it over there. I had the job more than halfway done, the rest was easy. I had some anxiety on the way home, but I made it safely there and wheeled my bike inside the hallway. Tyke was full of curiosity and so was Gandhi.

At the sight of the cans of dog food, Gandhi started to meow very loudly. She figured out immediately what was in them. I gave her some of a can and Tyke the rest. Gandhi ate as if she had been starved for three days. Tyke was more nonchalant than that. He's a cool dog. 

I spent the rest of the day in a coma, even though my personal helper was here and so was the domestic help. I did briefly wake up for my personal helper, but slept while the domestic help did her work. I had no choice, I was wiped out. It felt like I had done a day's worth of heavy labor and it was all just emotional exhaustion. I'm awake now with the help of coffee, but I could just as easily be asleep again. I will wait for the proper time tonight, though. 

And so you see. the saga of the grocery shopping does have a happy ending for me after all. It was like giving birth to an elephant through my head, but in the end I did it. I hope I don't have to do it again for a long time and if I do, I hope that somebody comes with me. I do feel injured, as if I've been in a battle, and I would have liked to have had the company of someone. I didn't realize it was going to be that difficult.

I'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee and I have to decide if I'm going to have another cup. I am still yawning and I think that's good. That means I can probably go to sleep when the time comes and hopefully stay asleep. I did buy extra milk today, so I can start drinking that. It will be a joy to. There's nothing better than a glass of cold milk, beside a good cup of coffee, that is.

I've got to walk the dog and take my medicines. There's always some schedule to stick to. Have a good evening. It's only cold here. No rain. 41F. 



jeannette said...

Am glad you persevered through your anxiety, Irene! That's the only way to get rid of. Glad you had a good time in the store....and the photo with this post is awesome!

Twain12 said...

well i'm glad it all went well, i hope you have a good night ♥

Lane said...

Well done for pushing through and getting the job done. Grocery shopping is tedious at the best of times, although like you I don't mind so much, once I'm there and can have a browse. I think your sleep afterwards was well deserved.

Remember to place those lighters high up:-)

VioletSky said...

That is what you need - a shopping buddy, like some people need a jogging buddy to keep them motivated and force them to actually go out and get it done.

Maggie May said...

I'm glad you faced your fear. Once you have done it you feel better about yourself.
Hope you have a really peaceful nights sleep.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

aims said...

You did it. That's what counts. You did it - you surmounted the problem and you succeeded.

I totally understand the results. Totally!

All these years later I still don't do grocery stores. There's something about them. I must be with someone to be able to go inside.

So see - you did better than I could! Hooray!