Saturday, May 15, 2010

For a change...

For a change I find myself not sound asleep in bed getting my six hours of shut eye, but find myself awake in the middle of the night without any sleep left in me. I've answered my emails and had two cups of coffee and numerous cigarettes.

The Senseo machine is dying on me and has decided to start leaking when I use two pads at once when I make a big mug of coffee. We'll see if it just continues to leak or if the problems become worse and the whole thing starts to fall apart. I will have to buy a new one, but the timing isn't exactly right now. I'm going to run a bottle of vinegar through it to see if it will make any difference, although I did that not too long ago, but I'll give it another shot. If I do have to buy a new one, I'd like for the next one to be red. It will be more cheerful than this black one I have now. Of course, it isn't under warranty anymore, so that's no recourse. It has done its duty and I suppose that's all I can ask of it. It's to the scrap heap with it.

I wanted to buy an espresso machine, but the Exfactor, who has a lot of experience with them from working behind the bar in the film house, talked me out of it and said it was not worth the bother for the cup of coffee I would get out of it. He made the whole process of getting a decent espresso sound awfully bothersome, not at all like getting an easy mug of Senseo, and I guess he convinced me, because I do like uncomplicated simplicity. Especially early in the morning when I want everything to be easily and quickly done.

Did you know, by the way, that it's good to keep your coffee stored in the refrigerator? It keeps it fresher longer in a good container. If you have whole beans, you can keep them in the freezer before you grind them, although I'm not sure what the extreme cold does to the beans, except preserve them very well. It has to be a frost free freezer, of course. It doesn't solidly freeze the beans together. We made our coffee that way in Sonoma and always enjoyed a good fresh cup.

Today is Saturday and a day wholly defunct of any special meaning whatsoever. It's just an ordinary weekend day. I don't have to go anywhere or celebrate anything or remember a loved one. All I have to do is the laundry and walk the dog. I don't even have to go to the store. It's a completely benign day. The apartment is clean and the dishes are done.

The domestic help who was here yesterday was a part timer. In real life she was a 4th year psychology student at the university here. She was curious about me and my situation and we started to talk and ended up having a discussion about the Bipolar Disorder, which turned out to be interesting and a real eye opener for her I think, because until now her knowledge had been limited to textbooks. I did make me realize how really awful this disorder is and that it's better to just live in the moment and not to look at the big picture too much, because I will get too disheartened and give up. I really have to live one day at the time and make up the score at the end of each day and hope for the same success, if there was one, the next day.

Tyke is faring very well under my renewed attention to him. What I have noticed is that he longs for quiet, gentle guidance and lots of petting and cuddles and talks. He is very jealous of Gandhi and doesn't like it when she gets too close to me. He thinks I only belong to him and he is very attached to me, so I have to reassure him that I'm attached to him too. I drop everything when I think he needs attention and spend some time reassuring him until he feels secure again and is relaxed. The result is that he listens better and is more at ease. He just needs a lot of love and I wasn't giving him enough of that, because I was preoccupied with other things. I wasn't paying enough attention. He's just like a kid and needs to feel security.

It's light outside now and I think I'll go take him for a walk. It's still early, so nobody will be out yet. That's the charm of getting up in the middle of the night. I do plan to go back to bed, though. I really do need more sleep and I'm even daring to read a book. I do have to put it away before I fall asleep. I'm reading "The House on Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros. They're very short stories, but fun to read.

Have a good day, you all.



Wisewebwoman said...

you sound in good mellow my friend.
Aren't pad coffess a lot more expensive than brewing up a scoop or two?

Bernie said...

I hope you were able to go back to sleep after your walk. I am just off to bed myself.
Have a wonderful weekend Nora, keeping you in my heart and prayers always......:-) Hugs

Maggie May said...

I don't drink coffee at all. In fact the very smell of it makes me heave. It started when I was pregnant with my second child. So I only keep instant in the house in case someone is desperate for it.
You must work your coffee machine to death, as I can remember the last time it died & that didn't seem so long ago.
Hope you have a good day.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Twain12 said...

that sucks about your Senseo machine :(...i hope Tykes Eye is better too. Just a ho hum day here , rainy and gray.
Have a great weekend ♥

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. I've got a brillianbt little espresso machine which I picked up for next to nothing a couple of years ago. It cost about 12 pounds - it's ridiculous that some of these machines cost 200 pounds! It's very easy to use - just put the coffee in the correct bit, attach and switch on. Afterwards just tap the coffee out. End of.

Of course I have never used it to froth up any milk as I have mine with plain cold milk. Possibly that's what the Exfactor was thinking of?

Sounds like a potentially good day - with all the chores done and the place looking nice. And the doggie behaving better too!

Hope you're able to enjoy it!

Bearfriend xx

Anonymous said...

I think you are much better off with the Senseo machine. My friends love them, they are quick and easy and in the AM, you don't need the hassle of fussing around waiting for coffee. I know how important that ritual is to your morning routine. Best to stick with it.

I'm glad your giving your dog more love and attention because I think that will be good for you too. A nice early walk, sound like a good way to start the day, even if you nap later.

That is a coincidence that the cleaning person was a psychology major. You probably helped her a lot what it is like to really live with bipolar. I think you have it right, being mindful and taking it day by day, it the best way to go. At least that is what I'm discovering with Melanie. She is 18 now, my expectations are much higher, as it is the only way that will help her in adulthood. She starts at a Community College in September,but will live at home. However, she knows, if she does not live up to the rules/limits sets, there are other supportive housing arrangements. I guess it sounds harsh, but I've learned, if she can do well in the Residential Setting, with strict limits (she was their top patient and they said the brightest one they ever had) she can do that here too. We just have to be consistent.
So it is back to therapy, DBT and mindfulness and living in the now. Wish us luck.

You sound much better. I hope you have a good weekend. I'll be thinking of you.

Babaloo said...

Hello again, I'm back! :) I'm glad to find you in a mellow mood, as Wisewebwoman put it. And I'm also with her on the coffee front - I think those Senseo machines are awfully expensive and the pads, too. Wouldn't you be better off getting yourself a cafetiere?
I think coffee in the fridge is only good if you have it in a properly sealed container because if it isn't, condensation gets in and that's going to spoil the coffee. I stopped storing mine in the fridge and have it in a coffee tin now. Oh, I used to have an espresso machine, too. Never thought it was awkward to use at all. Not sure, maybe the Exfactor is thinking of those proper, professional ones used in cafes and places like that. They would surely be more hassle than it's worth but the normal ones are grand, no problems ever with mine at all.

Gail said...

In Tune with Tyke, sounding good.