Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I will endeavor to sit here on my not so royal behind and write a halfway decent post, although it is possible that inspiration may be far away from me in an other dimension and I will have tor resort to all sorts of tricks to make this thing a bit readable and enjoyable. My head is lazy in a laissez faire way and I don't know how much good material I can pull out of it. It's all there, no doubt, bundled up in a neat tidy heap waiting for me to untangle it and find the beginning of it and unravel it to the end. I am hoping many cups of coffee and numerous cigarettes will see me through. It is not writer's block I have, but lack of the blarney, if that is a proper expression and I seem to recall that it is and if not, it ought to be and I just made it up, but you all know what I mean.
I feel like I've been shot through the head and a stiff wind is blowing through the open ended hole that results of it and it is of a cavernous size. My synapses are misfiring and the subsequent electrical storm makes it hard to make sense in the usual way, when I am all logic and sense and consequence and my story rambles along to a sensible ending after having had a proper beginning and an amusing middle part. Now I am more like a blindfolded donkey that is trying to pin on its own tail at a stiff drinking party.
Still, it isn't with the least apprehension that I sit by the keyboard here and type these odd and lopsided words to shape into a story. Some sense of the absurd is making itself visible to me in all my bedazzlement. I can even detect my muddled thinking above the pity full sounds of the Überhund who thinks he is being short changed in some area of his life and I would think it has something to do with food, which I will remedy immediately right now with my own two hands.
Having taken care of that, I can now devote myself to this bit of strangely inspired prose and get on with the proceedings.
The day started out well with a visit to my SPN where I learned much and spoke a lot and talked of things I had never talked of before. It made for an interesting and diverting conversation, that was both educational and amusing and, as always, made me convinced that we will never have a lack of material to talk about, because life is poignant and full of learning moments.
After that it was to my favorite pharmacy to get my supply of drugs, or at least some part of it, as I never seem to run out of all of them all at once, so it is a nonstop project. A work in progress, sort to say. Through the power of the drugs I transform into the wonderful person I have the potential to be, of course, with a little bit of help from some very special persons, whom I would not be able to appreciate and understand nearly as clearly if it weren't for the little pills. Actually, some of them are rather big capsules and it takes courage to swallow them, but I'm an old pro at it and can take them by the handful.
Once home, I regathered myself over a mug of coffee and a very good tasting cigarette and made a list of the shopping I had to do and forgot to add the Überhund's food, so he has been having wheat bread sandwiches with lunch meat all day and he does appreciate that very much, much more I even think than he appreciates any other type of food I give him. It is whole grain wheat bread and very good for you and the lunch meat was meant for me and I am generous enough to share it freely, because I do love my dog and get great satisfaction out of seeing him eat well and with a good appetite. The dog is my 'never grow up child' and I care for him in that manner always, forever fussing about and making sure that nothing is missing from his comfortable life.
As I said, I bought lunch meat for myself, several kinds as a matter of fact, and I can eat 3 or 4 slices all at once if I chew them carefully and not greedily stuff them in my mouth, which takes some effort, because I do love the act of eating, but I suffer the consequences if I eat too fast. It is almost as if food is more of a decorative element in my kitchen and refrigerator than a real nutritious element that can be digested easily. Besides, there is nothing worse than a near empty refrigerator and freezer, where I keep loaves of bread in case of company and not because I can eat it myself.
I was just taken by complete surprise by the Exfactor who showed up completely unannounced for several cups of coffee. I bet he wanted to see if I am as good looking when I don't know I am getting company as when I know I am. Well, I fooled him.
He's gone again now and I can pick up the thread of my story again, although I think I am nearing the end and that my entanglement is becoming disentangled. Besides, I have to walk the Überhund before the news comes on, because I feel it is my duty as a citizen of this world to watch the news and to be updated on all the latest political crimes. Did I say crimes? Goodness, Freudian slip, no doubt. Our minister of finance is bailing everybody out with huge sums of money, yet thousands of people are loosing their jobs. Those high in rank continue to draw their comfortable salaries and get bonuses if they screw up and have to leave the company.
Their is much injustice in this world, luckily, I suffer very little of it myself, so I feel myself blessed with what I have. Misfiring synapses and all. It is the Chinese year of the Ox and I think that will be the animal that I will like especially well this year and I wonder if it has some special significance for me.
I have a new psychiatrist. He is Belgian. My SPN is Belgian as well and so is my favorite ergo therapist. My creative therapist lives in Belgium. Do you think that I may have a lot of luck with Belgians this year?
Have a good night.