Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Blue Monday...

It was Blue Monday day before yesterday, but I didn't know that until after I had my own version of it. I have a tendency not to believe in those kinds of things if I know about them beforehand, but this time I didn't. 

It's supposed to be the worst day of the year for whatever reason I don't know. The logic of it escapes me. I can testify to the fact that it is true because I had my own horrible day. After having felt good for months, and especially good the last few weeks, I tumbled down into the pit of despair and wanted to be dead. 

Now luckily, this feeling didn't last longer than the Blue Monday was long and I did crawl out of that pit again and by the nighttime I was on my way back up. I didn't end up in a long lasting depression which very easily could have been the case too. Somehow my optimism came shining through and I could not stay long in that misreable place. 

I was bound to stumble and fall after having been in a elevated mood for so long. I could not keep up the pace. Throw in a couple of minor complications and I ran out of steam. Suddenly everything became too much for me and I couldn't see the forest for the trees anymore. I felt completely lost and lonely. It was all in a reaction to what had come before. 

At my lowest point, I wished myself dead, but I soon got over that and started thinking of reasons to live. I didn't reach for extra pills to make myself feel better. That notion didn't even enter my head. I did have a talk with my Higher Being and decided to not to try to force the issue but to leave it up to fate. Then I took a nap because sleep solves a lot.

The next day I was at ease with myself and peaceful again. I was ready to climb back into the saddle with a more realistic point of view. I'm not ready to go on an adventurous rde, I will just move along at a steady pace. Easy does it. I won't go battling windmills. 

Now I'm sitting here with a glass of cold milk enjoying the solitude of the night. I just let the dog out back and outside it's freezing. There's a star filled sky. 

I try to be efficient and self reliable. It's what got me here. 



Gail said...

It is good to know you can handle the valleys as well as the hills.

Sweet Dreams.

Bernie said...

The way you are thinking is healthy, no family is perfect, no person is perfect and life can still be good in spite of our imperfections. Be well dear friend.......:-)Hugs

Maggie May said...

Glad you managed to climb out of the pit by yourself. Pat yourself on the back! :-)
Blue Monday went fairly well for me.

Hoping you are still feeling OK and that you have a peaceful sleep tonight.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Mya said...

Hey Nora!
Are you ready for Thrilling Thursday?
Mya x

Wisewebwoman said...

I guess the good part of it all is that you didn't entertain such thoughts for too long and your Higher Self pulled you out of it. You are strong and powerful Nora dear.