I'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee, desperately trying to get into a good mood. I know I can do it because I'm stubborn enough for it. I will not be held back by a grumpy mood, especially not when I'm the one who most suffers from it. There's no one here to share the effects of it with me, much as I'd like a comforting arm around my shoulders. Or someone to help me analyze the cause of my mood. I have to do that all on my own and it does get tiresome.
I took a nap this afternoon and I woke up in a good enough mood. I felt kindhearted when I just got up and I turned on the computer without giving it much thought. I made a pot of coffee and answered some emails. Within the shortest amount of time I was as grumpy as I can be and I didn't feel like being kind anymore at all. I've noticed that sitting behind the computer very often has that effect on me, yet I do it automatically anyway. You'd think I'd know enough to stay away from it.
I think that maybe sitting behind the computer isn't nearly the complete therapeutic activity that we think it is. As a matter of fact, maybe it is highly frustrating to be constantly confronted with it and your social contacts. It makes you feel like you always have to be good and kind and on your best behavior when in fact you sometimes just aren't and don't want to be. It's as though you really don't have any private time behind your own computer, as though there's always social pressure there too.
When you add the social pressure of sitting behind the computer to the social pressure you feel in real life, it gets to be too much. There's no escape anymore. There's no safe place to go to.
That's my immediate analysis. It's the one that is the most obvious. I'm curious the find out who else feels stress behind the computer. Maybe we should allow people more of an opportunity to be grumpy in private and not always expect them to be kind and polite.
Have a nice day, or not. It's up to you.