Je ne sais pas...

I've posted photographs of the living room here in my last post, so if you missed those, go have a look there. It would be a shame if you missed those after all the effort I went through to post them, lol. I don't post pictures every day, you know! Although, come to think of it, maybe I should do that more often.

Here's one of Gandhi I took a few months ago.

And here's one of Tyke I took yesterday.

Every once in a while, like right now when I've done a frustrating job, I get the strong urge to light up a cigarette. I see myself going through the motions in my mind and really long for one, but I have no tobacco in the apartment and I have to get through the moment on my own without any help. I sip my coffee and think relaxing thoughts and try to calm myself down. I tell myself it's only a temporary longing I'm going through, that it will disappear after a while and that I've gone through worse things.

I just did deep breathing exercises, as if I was deeply inhaling smoke, but I was inhaling nothing but air. I did that for a few minutes and it got me over the moment. I must remember that trick, because it really works. My chest feels as if it has done some work and I had to cough. That's good. It will get all the gunk out. You learn something new every day. No doubt my brain is benefiting from all the oxygen too. The desire for a cigarette is gone.

What wasn't gone was my desire to eat a couple of teaspoons of peanut butter straight from the jar, so I had some of those and they were good, though now I'm very full. My eyes were bigger than my stomach (gastric band) and I'm burping very unladylike.

Can you believe today is Friday? Isn't that wonderful? I have my personal helper and the domestic help coming today and after that I will be released from my biggest obligations. I'm planning on doing a lot of reading and sleeping this weekend. For some reason I have the need for those two activities the most. It's because I'll feel relaxed enough to indulge in them. I feel like hibernating and cocooning. It must be because of all the changes that were made this past week. It takes a person a while to get used to them and they do wear you out.

With all the dawdling I've done writing this, and I've done nothing but, it's become morning and I will make a new pot of coffee, because the old one is empty. I only made enough for three cups anyway. I've got to take a shower in a while and wash my hair which I can't do a thing with. Though come to think of it, I may go to bed for a while and sleep some more first. Maybe that will be a better idea. It's early enough still.

Have a good day.

Ciao,
Nora

Photographs!

This is what the living room looks like coming into it from the hallway. The shades in front of the windows are new. They are a brighter red than what was there before. The black and white armchair is the chair I like to sit in. It's where Gandhi usually likes to lie down.

This is looking into the room from the other direction. The covers on the throw pillows are new. Gandhi is laying in the red chair, but you can hardly see her. I should sit there, because that's where the reading light is, but I don't like that chair as much.

Here's the most adorable dog in the world. He knew he was having his picture taken so he was extra good. Can you resist that face? I can't...

It's a good thing the Exfactor came over today. He went to the hardware store while I waited here for the new covers for the throw pillows to be delivered. I told him which color window shades to get and within the shortest amount of time he was back.

We thought we'd just have to take the old ones out and snap the new ones in place, but it turned out that the attachment system was different, so the hardware to hang them up with had to be changed. That turned into quite a job and I couldn't have done it myself. Even the Exfactor had a hard time with it, but somehow it was done and once the shades were in place they looked great. The screws need to be tightened a little better, but he needs to come back with the right screwdriver. In the meantime I'm not allowed to pull hard when I lower and raise them, so I have to be gentle.

At one point, after he had hung up the first shade, the whole thing came off it's rail and unrolled to the floor, which had me in a giggle, because the Exfactor was stunned and it was so comic. The shade turned out not to be attached to the rail with the sticky tape yet. It was a neat trick, though. Sort of like slapstick. I made sure it didn't happen with the other shade.

Right in the middle of it, the covers for the pillows arrived and I took the lime green ones off and put the new ones on as quickly as I could, because that faux pas had really bothered me. It was a thorn in my eye to look at them. They had been so totally wrong.

Now I need to paint, but I'm not going to do that immediately. First I need to have a little time out to get used to the way things are now. I also have to do some administrative errands in town next week and that will be enough of a chore for me, because you all know how I feel about going into town. It's not my most favorite thing to do.

Well, enjoy the photographs. You can click on them to make them larger.

Ciao,
Nora

With a cup of coffee...

I've done some more searching for Tyke's photographs, but I'm still not able to find them. I can't take a new one of him now, because it is dark and I don't want to use the flash because it gives him red eyes. I'll take some later today when there's enough daylight in the apartment. Besides, he is sound asleep on the sofa and I don't want to disturb his beauty sleep.

He's truly beautiful and I'm in love with him. I still can't take my eyes off him, although I'm used to how he looks now. Imagine being enamored with your own dog. It's such a pleasure that I truly enjoy. I've never had a boyfriend as nice.

I can cuddle Tyke all day long and not get enough of it. He doesn't wear me out like people do. He's like having a little kid. They're the best kind of people to have around, especially if they are your own. I guess Tyke is just like my child and he allows me to feel unadulterated feelings of love and he gives them in return too. People really do get attached to their pets.

I take pain medication every 6 hours or so. Sometimes I don't wait quite that long and I'm forced to take it sooner. It does help and takes away the worst of the pain and that is a great relief. It makes the difference between being comfortable enough or not. The worst of the pain is in the top half of my back where I have a mild form of scoliosis. It spreads to my shoulders and is very exhausting.

I try to remember to sit up as straight as possible when I sit behind the computer and to not slouch. I push my back against the back of the chair and sit with both buns firmly planted in the seat. Subconsciously, you take on a different position, probably to get more comfortable, although in the long run that doesn't work out. I have keep returning to the proper way to sit and realign my body. It really helps if I keep my hips straight under my spine and line everything up, including my shoulders and my head.

It's starting to be morning. I have been up a good deal of the night. The rain that was promised yesterday and last night never materialized. We did have lots of clouds move in, but nothing came of it. It's going to be cloudy again today, but no rain is forecast. It's supposed to be a cooler day today, but they said that yesterday too and it was warm enough and humid.

Despite my backache, I'm going to take Tyke for a walk in a while in the coolness of the early morning air. The day is best at dawn. His Majesty does need his outing and I can stand the fresh air too. It will be nice after sitting here all this time behind the computer screen, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. First I'm going to have a tall glass of milk to quench my thirst and do something healthy. When I come back I'll have a tall glass of multi vitamin juice. It's the simple things in life that you have to reward yourself with.

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Tyke, the smooth dog.

I just got finished transferring my before and after pictures of Tyke from the camera to the computer and all went well, I thought, until I went to look for them and could not find them anywhere. They have disappeared. I have searched high and low, but I don't know what happened to them.

This has never happened to me before. Suffice it to say that I am pretty disgusted and not in the mood to take another picture of Tyke if that's the way the system is going to work today. Somewhere along the line something went wrong and I'll have to figure out what it was. I'm not amused in the least.

Now, you will have to use your imagination. So, picture an extremely curly haired, fluffy, over sized, barrel chested, ragamuffin of a dog in which you hardly recognize the shape of him anymore. Everything is big because of all the hair, including the paws.

Then imagine a smooth, slender, fine boned, short haired, elegant dog, who doesn't look like Tyke, but answers to the name.

I've spent two hours this afternoon doing nothing but looking at him in amazement and trying to come to grips with the fact that this is my dog. We've also spent a lot of time bonding with each other, as that was very necessary after his big adventure at the trim salon. So, I looked at him in amazement and he kept putting his paw on my hand so I wouldn't forget to pet him. That's what we have been doing.

I walked him over to the trim salon this morning and it was quite a distance. It took me 40 minutes to get there, it was a little further away than I had thought. By the time I came home again, I was a wreck. I had pain in my back in three places and had to sit down and not move anymore. I realized that I would not be able to get up in an other hour and make the long walk back.

First I took a paracetamol with codeine for the pain. My back is my big weakness because it's so crooked and things always have a tendency to go wrong with it when I exert myself. Then I called the Exfactor and asked him if he could go and get Tyke back for me. Luckily, he said yes and came right over. I gave him the money and instructions on how to get there (just beyond the church and the sex shop, beside the bakery) and he went on his way.

He was back a lot quicker than I could have been, because he takes bigger steps and is in much better condition and walks twice as fast. He had quite a surprise for me at the end of the leash when he came back. Tyke couldn't get into the apartment fast enough. It was like he was being chased by the devil. He must have thought that I had abandoned him forever. That's why we're doing all this bonding.

You'll have to excuse me. I want to tell you more, but my back is really hurting a lot. I just took another pain pill. I can't sit behind the computer anymore. I'm going to have to shut it off and lie down.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Ciao,
Nora.

Happy on a Saturday...

For a change, I slept the whole night again. That was such a nice thing to happen. No waking up in the very wee hours of the morning and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I could tell by the way the trees cast shadows on the blind that it was a decent time to get up. I made sure I was all done sleeping, in case there was something left in my body, but then Tyke snuggled very close and made breathing almost impossible so I had to get up. He does have all that woolly fur that gets in your nose and your mouth.

So, now I'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee and I'm slowly getting myself together. I watched a wonderfully gruesome "Silent Witness" last night and I'm surprised that I wasn't scared to go to bed and sleep on my own. I guess I don't scare as easily as I thought. As soon as the program was over, I put all thought of it out of my head. And when I say gruesome, I really mean it.

Yesterday was a nice day. The weather was warm, though there was a pleasant breeze, and the sun was shining all day. Tyke and I ended the day by going to my sister's garden and watering all the potted plants there. All the plants looked good, though, and they don't seem to have suffered from the hot weather. All the blossoms were lively and bright.

The day started with a visit from the Exfactor and he was kind enough to go to the store and buy me some ice cream. Oh yum, that was so delicious, but I don't want anymore now, because it's very dangerous to have in the freezer. When I know it's there, I hear it call my name. I have no self control at all. I'm an ice cream addict and I better not have it around me. It will cause me to gain a kilo or two. I should never have food in the apartment that I like a lot.

My personal helper got here next and while she was here I cleaned out two drawers of the dresser and found numerous photographs of whose existence I did not know. It means that I will have to get several photo albums. Well, several may not do it. Quite a few, actually. It depends on the kind I get. I threw some things away too in a trash bag that I will add to as I clean out the rest of the drawers. At least I know what's in the first two drawers now. I simplified the contents quite a bit. I even found some pieces of embroidery that I can work on when I get in that mood again. I had quite forgotten about them and haven't done that kind of work in a long time.

The personal helper and I took Tyke for a walk in the warm sunshine and she tried her best to keep up with us. I have to make sure Tyke doesn't walk too fast. He walks through the tall bits of grass and weeds and is always covered by pollen, but I seem to be over my allergies completely and am not bothered the least bit.

Just as the personal helper was about to leave, the domestic help got here and merrily set off to work with a bucket of suds. She spent a lot of time cleaning what I thought was a clean bathroom and then told me that the bathroom was coming along well. She must know something I don't and see dirt that I don't see. I always clean up after myself real well when I have showered or used the wash basin. I think I leave the bathroom behind spotlessly, but I guess I don't. She then dusted the apartment and hoovered and mopped the floors and was one whir of activity. I feel her back ache when I see her at work. She's amazing.

Today I have to do the dishes and hang up a load of laundry to dry and possibly change my bed. I do want to start using that new washing powder as soon as possible, but I have to use up the old one first. Waste not, want not. If I change my bed, I'll have another load of laundry to do and I can hang it up outside to dry. That brings me closer to using the new washing powder. Oh, for Pete's sake. I'll just use it anyway and throw out the old one. There's just a little bit left. Things you can get worried about, really. Talk about taking it to an extreme.

Alright, that's all settled then. I'm putting clean sheets on the bed and that will be nice for tonight. Yesterday afternoon I took a nap on the sofa. It was very pleasant, but I worried about not being able to sleep at night. Well, I need not have worried about that, because I slept very well. I think I will have another nap this afternoon. I feel in my bones that there is one coming up. Never let it be said that you can have enough sleep on any given day. There's always a good time for a nap. Eight hours of sleep is not enough. I need at least two more.

Have a great day.

Ciao,
Nora

Later in the day...

Very early in the morning I took a shower and fixed my hair into a punk style hairdo with a lot of hairspray. I picked out my clothes for the day. Several layers to be nice and warm and one of them was the long sleeved flowered dress that I hadn't worn for a long time. It fit me great and I wore a black sweater over it with a very low cut V-neck so the dress showed up well.

It was a good thing I wore several layers and my leather jacket, because when I took Tyke out at 6 am for his walk, it was cold outside and my scarf was not a luxury item. We made a longer walk and enjoyed the peace and quiet of the early morning. Hardly anyone was out there but a little traffic and some newspaper delivery people. We didn't meet one other dog and his owner.

Tyke likes this walk, because it takes us past the white horse in his meadow and Tyke is fascinated and scared of it at the same time. We always stop and look at it and usually the horse walks up to the fence to greet Tyke. Tyke is very weary of him and to hide his fear he ends up barking at him, at which point we promptly leave so as not to wake up the whole neighborhood. It's quite a bit of excitement.

Then we reach a stretch of grass where everybody must walk their dog, because I can't get Tyke away from there and he pulls at the leash if I try to move him from a particular interesting spot and there are many spots like it. It's a battle that eventually I win by persistence. You wouldn't think that a 13 kilo dog had so much strength in him.

When we got home, I turned on the computer because I had to order some new bras because of my weight loss. I had become less endowed. This doesn't bother me, but I do want to fit well in my bras. It looks ridiculous if they are too big. I found the right ones in the right size and I also found a set of two sundresses in two different prints for a good price and ordered those as well. I can wear cardigans and leggings with them, or sweaters on top. I ordered them in a smaller size than the rest of my clothes are, figuring I am ready for that. My other clothes are getting too big.

Then I laid down on the sofa and took a little nap. Just for an hour to get over the worst of my momentary dip. That's all I needed and when I woke up I was completely over it again. I felt fine and did some chores. Mostly decluttering the kitchen and the living room and taking care of the trash.

Then Toby managed to knock over a dining chair and it knocked over the plant stand which caused the plant to fall on the floor. The plant landed upside down and the pot broke. I said, "Bravo, Toby, you did a good job. Encore!" I swept up the shards and the dirt and found a different pot to put the plant in. Luckily I had one and this one won't break because it's made of aluminum. The plant doesn't look too bad and I think it's going to be okay. It did make me realize that I had over watered it and that I need to let it dry out, so it was good for something.

The personal helper got here and she had gotten a haircut which made her look a lot younger. I told her so and I must say that a good haircut can do wonders. We sat and talked for a while about how the week had gone and then took Tyke for a long walk through the next neighborhood. Tyke and I walk quickly, I realized, and she had a hard time keeping up. It wasn't warm outside, so it was pleasant to go for a walk and I could have gone much further than the 50 minutes that we walked, but we weren't wearing the right shoes for it. We'll go for an hour the next time.

Shortly after she left, the Exfactor got here. I was watching Germany play Serbia in the World Cup and it was an interesting game. We watched it while we talked, because we're not that fanatic. We didn't miss any of the exciting parts, besides, there were repeats immediately. There were many yellow cards and one red one, all deserved. Serbia won. Germany didn't start to play well until the second half when Serbia defended very well. Tomorrow The Netherlands play Japan in the afternoon. I will be watching and commentating.

I made a deal with my personal helper that I would clean out some of the dresser drawers and organize my photographs that are in there somewhere. Most likely I will be doing that this weekend. I'm looking for the last photographs I have of my son. I was going to show them to her today, but couldn't find them because the drawers are so unorganized. That's terrible. I must get some order into them. I will get a trash bag and throw away everything that is obsolete and useless. I will show no mercy.

It isn't cold in the apartment, but it feels as though it is. I still have the windows open at the top, but there's not much of a draft. Still, my feet are cold and I should put on some warm socks. There are kids playing outside without their jackets on and I wonder if they are confused or if I am. I could have sworn it wasn't warm enough.

Alright, I will see if I can catch the latest political news anywhere. Attempts at coalition forming are still going on and it's starting to look very interesting. We may become much less right oriented than was originally feared.

Have a good rest of the day.

Ciao,
Nora

Ascension Day

This is just a post to let you all know that I'm alive and breathing, but that I've decided not to spend so much time behind the computer anymore. Blogging was taking up too much of my time and it had nearly become an obsession and a lot of my spare time went into it. I always had the computer on stand by and every free moment I sat down and did something related to my blog and I thought it had gotten out of hand.

Tyke is the recipient of my free time now, as I spend much more time with him and it's paying off, as he's bothering the cat much less and begging for attention less, because he's getting enough of it now. I take him for more and longer walks and spend more time cuddling with him and just sitting with him and being there, instead of sitting behind the computer. He appreciates that very much. Gandhi also gets more opportunities to sit on my lap, so I make her happy as well.

The photo at the top is of the field where I take Tyke for his shorter walks. I took it a few years ago at the beginning of Spring. I'm taking him there for his last walk tonight, while it is still barely light outside. The days are getting longer, although the weather has been dreary and cold.

Tyke has a little infection in his eye that I'm treating with an antibiotic ointment and it seems to be helping already. He's pretty good about letting me apply it. He only protests a little bit. Maybe he knows it's good for him.

The country has been in the grip of the disaster of the Lybian airline crash in which so many Dutch people died and which one 9 year old boy named Ruben survived. It's been quite shocking, to say the least. It happened one day before the 10 year memorial of the fireworks disaster in Enschede in which a whole neighborhood got wiped out and many people died. Flags are flying at half mast.

I hope you're all having a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

I was right...

I was right, now that I'm sufficiently well aligned with the sun and the moon and the stars and all the other objects in the great wide world and universe, and I did indeed take two Welbutrin tablets this morning, but I feel good and not at all like the sad little woman that I have been during the day and who couldn't find any joy in her life to wrap around herself for comfort.

What an amazing thing this is, and so unexpected too, because I was already dreading the effect of the first tablet and having to sit here feeling sad and downhearted and ending up having to go back to bed because of this effect of it. I certainly didn't think that I would sit here having a good time writing posts and reading blogs and leaving comments. I guess my psychiatrist was right and the one who perseveres wins. He apparently knew what he was talking about. I had to bite through the sour apple, as they say. That's different from tasting sour grapes or getting your just desserts.

I was ready to call it quits, I was so out of patience, but now I'm glad I didn't and that I listened to and obeyed the professionals. Obedience is not my strongest point usually. I have a tendency to be stubborn and want things my own way, because at any given moment I will be convinced that I'm right and it's hard to change my mind. But I know this about myself and try to take it into account when these sort of things become important and decisions have to be made. My stubbornness can make me shortsighted and I lose track of the bigger picture and the details that go into it. It's important that I pay attention and listen well.

I'm just now having my third cup of coffee of the day. I don't know if you could call it a mug. It's on the small side for what Americans would call a mug. My daughter brought me a mug from Starbucks once and it really qualified as a mug. Two people could have easily had their coffee from it together. If they liked each other a lot, like lovers do. Do you hear that song in your head? I can't imagine liking anyone else that much again. I would worry about his germs. Besides, you would have to like the same things in your coffee and people either like it black or with milk and sugar, never just with milk.

I once accidentally put sugar in my coffee and couldn't figure out why it tasted so bad. The sugar was from one of those paper tubes that also held the creamer. I had picked it up along with the creamer, thinking I had two creamers, because that's what I always put in. I didn't finish that coffee, it was impossible. Since I've stopped eating porridge, I have a bag and a half of sugar on the kitchen shelf that's not going anywhere fast, because I don't use it for anything else. The Exfactor takes it in his coffee and that is it.

I was growing chubby from the porridge with sugar, although I kept saying to myself that it was healthy food. Lord, I did fool myself. I have kilos of porridge to get rid off. Not that I'm lying awake about this at night. I like sleeping better. I don't worry about my weight. I am just me, however I am built. The essence of me doesn't change and my mental health is more important. That's what it's all about in the end. I do have to get my priorities straight, but I'm not going to eat that bag and a half of sugar.

Tyke is completely distracting me. He had two rawhide bones, but he wanted me to try and get the one he had in his mouth, which I did for a while, but then I got the one that was lying on the floor and said, "It is mine." He can't stand it when I say that, so he had to drop his bone and get the one I had. We went on and on like this for a while until he got sick of it and laid down and started chewing on the bone he had in his mouth and that was the end of the game. It will start again in a while, I just know it.

No, instead of that I let him out again and when we were on the field there was another American cocker who is almost 3 years old. It's a female and she came over and challenged Tyke and then ran away and acted bitchy whenever he got close and he likes her so much. He wants to play with her badly and she won't do it and snarls at him. I feel sorry for Tyke, because he needs another dog to play with, but so far we're not having any luck, except for the neighbors' dog and he's never out when we are and I don't know them very well. She doesn't seem to like me and avoids me if she can. He is very friendly and always ready for a chat. Strange, isn't it? (he likes pudgy women and she's lost a lot of weight)

Things to ponder over in my spare time. I try not to ponder too much and to put a stop to it if it gets out of hand. I have an attic in my head where I keep those things and it's not all that full really, just dusty. No cobwebs, though. It's a fairly clean and uncluttered attic with a view of the sea. I have a treasure chest too. That's for very special people. The jewels in my life.

I can postpone hitting the publish button or get it over and done with, because I really have nothing more to say, or I could sit here for another hour and add another chapter. I must figure out the pictures that should head the post. Why don't I just go do that now?

Have a good evening.

Ciao,
Nora

Neither here nor there...

An infinitesimal amount of people visited my blog today. I will not for one minute worry about being well known enough and start thinking of marketing strategies or popularity campaigns, though I'm sure that all such schemes exist. I've noticed that the most simple and insignificant blogs pull in the most followers and that long winded ramblers like me seldom get high up there in the ratings. There's too much to read and people just want something quick and not a treatise on life at my house. However, I always have much to say, and since it's my blog and I will keep saying it, I won't start worrying until the numbers start to really dwindle. Until I'm a lone voice in the desert.

I know that when I write a post about suicide attempts, or self harm, or a total nervous breakdown, with all the drama and tears to go with it, my readership suddenly goes up and I don't know why that is. So, I'm thinking that I must start making things up and have one of those events happen regularly and have lots of drama happen in my life, just as things are slowing down to a dull roar.

I also should post lots of pictures, because people seem to like them, so I'll have to start taking lot's of photographs of Tyke and the cats, which reminds me that I have to put batteries in my camera.

There, I took a bunch of pictures and then had to edit or delete them and locate them on the computer and stick them in a map where I could find them and it was all a little bit tiresome on a new computer. It didn't quite work the same way it did on my old computer, so I had to cheat a bit. A lot of my photographs are stored in Documents, because I could not get them into Images, and I had to store these in Documents also.

I just had to take my medicines and make myself a cup of coffee, because I had a complete sinking in moment. Suddenly life didn't seem all that wonderful and I hope to get over it quickly as soon as I've had my cup of coffee. I know, they are only fleeting feelings.

I bought a cigarette holder today that had a sticker on it that said, "Push here to open," and of course the first thing I did was remove the sticker, so now nobody will know how to open it but me. I also found an old watch with an adjustable metal band in my jewelry box and managed to get it off and attach it to the watch that was still working, but had a broken band. So, I solved that problem. Now the Exfactor doesn't need to go get a new battery for the other watch that stil has a band. The watch I have on is prettier and I bought it myself. It was one of my first purchases as a single woman.


I´m done writing this post now. I´m not all that satisfied with it, but I´m going to publish it anyway. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don´t. think I started out feeling like a nut when I first began this one. You know what you do when you write an unsatisfactory post, don´t you? You immediately start writing another one. I have the feeling that I´m staying up late tonight. It is Saturday after all and I must have my wild night too.

Have a good evening.

Ciao,
Nora

As is usual....

As is usual, I find myself wide a wake again in the middle of the night and this time I was up very early because of the time I went to bed. It was just after 8 pm when I crawled under the covers with my book. I don't know what it is, but lately I have not felt like staying up at night and I have felt like getting into bed early and I look forward to that very much. It is always my plan to read for a long time, but I fall asleep fairly soon. Unfortunately, I wake up 4 or 5 hours later, ready to see some action. That means turning on the computer and reading any emails that are there and answering those and downloading photographs from Foxsaver for my blog, amongst other things. I have to look through a lot of photographs to find the ones I like and even then I'm in doubt and after a while I can't see the forest for the trees and I have to stop searching.

The book I'm reading, "Sullivan's Island," is so different than "Prodigal Summer," that it is taking me some effort to get into it. I'm not taking it quite seriously and I think I have to regard it as 'light' reading. I'm going to persist and read it and not put it aside as being unworthy of being read, but it's not the kind of book I was in the mood for reading. I wanted more of an intellectual challenge and this one is too easy coming after "Prodigal Summer." I hate to leave a book unfinished, though, because it may be good in its own right, in spite of the fact that I'm not in the right mood for it. It got good reviews, so there must be some merit to it. I guess I'm a very picky reader.

Jesker and I very slowly and carefully took a little walk last night. It took him some effort and he drank a lot of water when we got home. He did eat three slices of salami, one with a pill in it, so that was something. He didn't eat the Bonzo bone that I gave him. He took that in his mouth and dropped it. I tried to give him some of his regular food, but he's not interested. He's lost a lot of weight, but he can stand it and is now starting to look like a normal sized dog.

Well, I'm off to eat some breakfast and then I'm going to tackle that book again in my bed. Hopefully I'll be fascinated by it this time. Brrr... it's cold. It's -3C outside.

Have a good morning!

Ciao,
Nora

Saturday Morning.

It's -12C outside, so I'm not quite ready yet to go and walk the dog. I hope he can wait a while until it gets just a bit warmer. I'm sure all the ice skating fanatics are ready at every bit of open water that's frozen over and are out there tying on their skates now before it gets to crowded on the ice. There are a lot of ice skating fanatics in this country. It's in the blood. Last year there was lots of good skating on natural ice, so nearly everybody has skates now and they will want to put them to good use. I wonder if there will be another run on skates by the people who didn't manage to get a pair last season, because they were all sold out. The manufacturers couldn't keep up with the demand.

I managed to sleep eight hours last night, yet after I got up and had my breakfast and took my morning medication and answered some emails, I went back to bed and slept another three hours. I don't know if that is because of the tranquilizers that I take or because I just needed the additional sleep. I would have to try and not take the tranquilizers some morning and find out, Maybe I can do that tomorrow and see what happens. I'm reluctant to go without any of my medicines, because of the changes in my constitution, but sometimes it's worth trying to see if it makes any difference in my energy levels. Like I am doing now with the antipsychotic.

I haven't noticed any difference so far in my interest in tackling the apartment and that is what I'm really waiting for. I'm waiting for that little burst of energy that will get me started on the jobs I have to do. Some boost in my level of interest in getting those things done. The fact that I care enough to. Right now I don't see that changing. I am mostly uninterested in most anything I would have to do and I find myself putting off other things as well until the moment that they can't be put off any longer. I guess it's the approaching deadline that works as a motivating factor for me right now, but it's always looming over me as the sword of Damocles. It's not how it ought to be. I hope to see some change in that today.

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I've just been absent for quite a while. I had to walk the dog and then I got distracted by a website that offered very good wallpaper, but I had to click through the images randomly, so sometimes it took a while before I found a good one. It was just the sort of almost mindless job that I was interested in, because every once in a while I got excited when I found one that I liked and I could save. That's the kind of work I need to do. Just stick me behind a computer and let me do mind numbing work that occasionally is exciting to keep my interest going. There must be lots of jobs like that.

I pick images that I'd like to have on my screen as wallpaper, but I also have been using them as images for the tops of my posts lately and I got feedback that they were well liked. So, the only criteria I have, is if I would like the image as a wallpaper. If the answer is yes, then I download it and save it. You wouldn't believe the good stuff that you can find on the Internet and it's all anarchistically for free. No, the Internet is not democratic. It's a jungle and a free for all. We assume we will all be polite and gentlemanly, but whose to say we will be? It's amazing that it works so well. Just don't hang out in the fringes.

Of course, I'm not getting anything valuable done, though I did just clean up cat barf. Gandhi had eaten dog food and was too greedy with the obvious result. For some reason the dog decided not to eat it and I had not noticed that, being so wrapped up in what I was doing. I do have a one track mind sometimes and only a gagging cat will disturb me.

It's time to come back to reality and have a good look around me and see what I am going to do with the rest of my day. I am wasting my time fruitfully. I can get so lost in things, I'm sure you all have the same problem, but isn't that pleasant, though? It's really nice when you're doing something that completely takes your mind off things and lets you not have a care in the world for a while. I completely forgot my surroundings, I was so lost in those images. It just goes to show you which photos you don't have to take, because they've already been taken by somebody else, unless you want them as your own mementos.

It also shows you which photos are just pure kitsch and that you should not take them for the sake of good taste. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but when you see many of them like it on a photography website, you realize they're no good and it is a waste of time to take them. Photos of babies and puppies and kittens and pretty young women are a dime a dozen. Those aren't the winning photographs. Besides, nowadays you can't take photos of half naked children without feeling that they're going to be exploited somehow. I would be very uncomfortable placing them. Equally with shots of alluring young women. Why do we need them anyway, if not to draw the male viewer in with promises of sensuality? Those are not the photographs that are appealing to me and I'm certainly not going to download them, although some of them are quite beautiful. There's so much you don't want to do in this day and age. We're past the age of innocence.

Oh, I'm moralizing, aren't I? Well, I will get off my soap box and get back down to street level where I belong. I certainly can't dictate good taste, although I think everyone should have it. I do realize it develops depending on your circumstances and what you are exposed to. I know that when I lived a middle class life, my tastes were much more pedestrian, although they were slightly more enlightened then your average housewife. I was not as evolved as I am now and who's to say that I am all that evolved now compared to other more enlightened human beings? I may still be very limited in my points of view and be unaware of a whole lot of observations on life that I've not been exposed to. I try my best, though, to stay open and aware.

Well, having wasted a good portion of the day, I will draw an end to this epistle and see if I can do some other things instead. Packaging books may be a useful thing to do. It's always a lot of work and it will keep me busy for a while. I hope I don't run out of steam halfway through. I must finish it all at once.

Have a good day you all. 't Is the weekend before Christmas and no doubt you're all busy getting ready for that. Don't forget to take a breather every now and then.

Ciao,
Nora

Time to go to bed....

After having changed the living room around, and having posted the photographs of it here, I find myself full of piss and vinegar and nor nearly ready to go to sleep. Firstly, because it is so nice to sit in a rearranged living room. Secondly, because I put a long blue scarf as a runner on the dining table and every time I look at it, I'm startled by the effect. Thirdly, because I put the vase with lighted branches on the dresser and hung christmas balls and other decorations in it, so now it's festive here. I also realized that the computer desk needs to be moved to where the black and white chair is now, and the chair needs to be moved to where the desk is now. Some cable needs to be laid for that and I need the expertise of the Exfactor for that. So I will have to wait for his broken collar bone to heal.

The cats liked me moving the furniture around and immediately started climbing on top of everything. Cats always like that kind of stuff, they like to be right in the middle of things and then claim all the new territory as quickly as possible. The dog was also right there and barely moved out of the way for the vacuum cleaner, but he reluctantly did if he had to. He was trying to hang on to his sleeping spot, but I had to move his blanket and for a while it didn't have a place anywhere, leaving him stranded. I finally folded it over double and put it beside the bookcase where he is sound asleep now. I think I will put another blanket under it to make it even more comfortable for him to sleep on. I do have to consider his aging bones that want as soft as possible a place to lay on.

Now that I've moved the furniture, it's really obvious that the walls need to be painted, but that is going to be such a big job that I'm going to wait until I'm physically very fit. Or if I keep being as fit as I have been today, because today I can imagine painting the walls and it doesn't seem like an unsurmountable job. The hardest part is going to be to move the bookcase away from the wall. It is heavy even if I take all the books out of it and very tough to manhandle. I want the walls to be a sand color and I can already imagine what they are going to look like. I also want to get brighter color blinds for the living room windows. The ones I have now are burgundy colored and I want red. Yes, and money still doesn't grow on trees, especially not at this time of the year.

I got a nice gift from Babaloo. She gave me the book The Last Girls from Lee Smith, which is a book I really wanted. I seem to be blessed with people who send me kind gifts. You don't know how much that means to me. It makes me feel ever so special. Lee Smith is a new writer for me. She is a Southern writer from the States and writes about small town America there. I'm looking forward to reading that book very much. I will spend much time on my newly positioned sofa reading good novels. Thanks, Babaloo!

I trimmed one of my plants that lost a lot of its leaves. I have it sitting on the dining table and it was trailing all over the place looking scraggly, so I took the scissors and gave it a haircut in the hopes that it will fill out well and look bushier and fuller in a short amount of time, and I'm going to keep trimming the trailing ends to keep it compact. I'm hoping to turn it into a healthy plant again. I think I can do it, as the other plant has perked up and is looking better already. I've also watered my prayer plant, as I discovered it was dry and moved it to a spot closer to the window and it too has perked up quite a bit. It seems to appreciate daylight a lot more than the somewhat dark spot I had it sitting in. Plants do appreciate the little things you do for them. I've moved my rubber plant, but I don't know if it's going to like where it is now, away from the window. I can only try and hope for the best, if not, invest in a plant that will take low light conditions.

I was just sitting here looking around and I decided to move the big scratching post from the corner of the living room, because the cats never use it, and to hang one of my paintings in that corner. So I did and got a light that I clamped on to the bookcase and pointed to the painting and now I have a nice bright corner there. Then I took two more of my paintings and hung those up in the living room too instead of two smaller things that were hanging there. I had to very softly hammer two little nails into the wall for one of them, so as not to wake the neighbors, but I was successful. I must say that it all looks quite nice. It is very gratifying to have your own art hanging around, no matter how simplistic it is. Of course, what I really want is the collages framed and hung up, but I have to buy the frames for those. That will please me to no end. But this is nice too. Another brilliant idea, if I may say so myself.

If I sit here long enough, I'm sure to have more ideas. Now that my evil little mind is at work it is not going to leave me alone and keep scheming and planning, except that it is the wrong time of the night to be doing these kinds of things. Darn, isn't it a shame that there is such a thing as bedtime? Just when you're having all your good ideas. I just went to have a look in the kitchen closet where the modem for the computer is and I think there is enough extra cable for me to move the computer to the other side of the room. Aha! Isn't that interesting? I may not even need the Exfactor. I may be able to do this job by myself. This requires careful investigation.

It would be really funny if I managed to do all of this on my own. It would be the total liberation of myself as a woman. First I would have to make a little drawing of where all the plugs go in the back of the computer. That would be simple. But the first thing I have to do is trace the proper cable to it's source and trace the other cables that are coming out of the modem also. One would be for the television and one for the telephone and one for the computer. That ought to be easy to figure out. I love it when I think logically.

Okay people, I'm about to go do a big experiment. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully everything will go well.

Ciao,
Nora

The Photographs!

Here are the photographs of the living. room after I changed things around today.

This is what you see when you enter the room.

And this is the sofa and chair and bookcase area, with animals.

Here's looking at the dining area from where the sofa is and you can see the black and white chair.

And here's the sofa area seen from the kitchen with dog.

I know where the dirt is that is not visible on these pictures, and that I will be scrubbing this coming week. Woe is me!

It's that time of the night again...

After dinner, while watching the news, I was sitting in the corner of the sofa, quite upright, not even with my legs tucked underneath me, but that is how I fell asleep. I woke up at 11 pm in just about the same position, but with my right arm dangling off the side and with my hand all swollen up. That just goes to show you, that when I need to sleep, I will do it under all circumstances, no matter what the discomfort level is, because my hand hurt.

Needless to say, when I woke up, I was wide awake and didn't have one ounce of sleep left in me, so I turned on the computer and have been amusing myself with it ever since. I looked up interesting photos on Pixdaus to illustrate my posts with and then cut them down to the proper size in Paintshop Pro. This is the kind of work I like to do, because it is pleasurable, but not difficult, and I takes some amount of time to find the right photos, so an hour flies by in no time. I do have to sort through a lot of photos, because tastes differ and what one person considers pretty, another person does not, and that means, of course, that you may not like my choices either. But I like them and that's the most important thing.

I have completely adjusted to my glasses and the strength of them and they are so very comfortable to wear, I don't know how I ever did without them, or how I ever was satisfied with the other ones. Well, I wasn't, that's why I wore them so seldom. These are just perfect and I can wear them all the time for any kind of job, which is how it should be. I thought it was strange that I had to take my glasses off when I sat behind the computer. It just didn't seem right. If you have to do this, they may not have been adjusted to your eyes properly.

Jesker is very dissatisfied with me, because he really wants to go to sleep in the bedroom, but because I'm not there, he feels that he needs to stay out here with me. He longs to lie down on his comfortable pillow, though. The poor guy, he is so torn. That's loyalty for you. I hope he chooses for his pillow, I would not be the least bit insulted.

When I was downtown today, I was not the least bit tempted to go shopping and there have been times when that has been different, when I thought I had to buy something for myself whenever I was in town. I am so strict with myself nowadays, that I hardly ever permit myself to give in to the urge, not even at the nice store that has continuous sales and where I very often find very good deals. These days, all I do is pay bills and buy groceries and buy the odd little thing for myself now and then. A book or something. Nothing big. I try to buy myself a treat now and then, but I never spend a lot of money on myself and the treat has to be just a little thing, but something I am happy with nevertheless. It seems that life has gotten very expensive for everyone and everybody is feeling the crunch.

Yet when I am downtown, I see people walking around with numerous bags from expensive stores and I wonder how they can afford to shop like that still. It seems that there is a segment of the population that's doing just fine and that can spend money as usual. That surprises me in these times and I think it is so wasteful. If I were in that situation, I would certainly not waste my money on expensive items, although they say that money must roll. I am exposed to too many people who have to make it from one month to the next and really watch their money, and then it seems almost obscene to watch people shop with so much abundance. I think there are people in this society who have no idea what it is like to have to account for every Euro that you spend. Especially not our government leaders, who have such unrealistic points of view about what people can live on. I shouldn't complain, though. I am still much better of than a large majority of the people in this world. On top of that, I have excellent health insurance, something that even a lot of people in 'rich' countries can't afford.

Oh. I have to make sure I don't get bogged down in politics, but you may have noticed that our prime minister is in the running for president of the European Community. They can have him, for all I care, I'm sure he'll do a fine job and make everybody happy. We can get another prime minister easily and maybe one who does a better job at leading the government. It seems he is a quite popular candidate. That's because he doesn't ruffle any feathers.

Okay, that's enough about politics and economics. Back to the domestic scene. Toby is very happily crunching down on the dog food. The next time I will have to get the mini kibbles, they will be easier for him to eat and the dog may like them better too. Anything to make these animals happy. Jesker usually likes the kibbles for small dogs better, he likes to vacuum them up out of the bowl. I had forgotten about that.

I must seriously consider going to bed now. I do want to get some sleep before the day starts and more than that actually. I wish there was an easy way for me to silence my digital alarm clock, but I haven't figured it out yet. So promptly at 7 am I need to shut it off. That's okay really, I can take my medicines then and go back to sleep.

Alright, off I go then. Have a good morning or a good night. I will be sleeping.

Ciao,
Nora

Happiness.

As of Sunday last week, after that long nap in the afternoon, I started coming out of my depression and climbed the hill back to the top until I got there. As of this morning, when I woke up at 5:30 am, I am standing on the highest peak and looking at the world all around me and finding much happiness in it. I am alive again. I speak, I laugh, I am animated, I am interested, I am full of fun, I am wonderfully present and I could go on and tell you how good I feel, but you'll have to take my word for it.

It's a most precious and exciting thing to be this alive. Everything about me seems to shine and I feel like a new person in a new skin with a new outlook. I could embrace the world and let everybody know how happy I am with them. Well, I do my best to convey that message and I radiate positivism and it bounces back to me. You are a mirror to the world and what people see in you gets reflected back to you. People cheer up, because I'm cheered up. I actually have conversations with people, because I am awake and alert and on the ball.

So, I had a very early morning to start with and that suited me just fine, because I was alert from the start and didn't sit around trying to figure out who I was and what day it was. I very cheerfully made myself a mug of coffee and even got a little bit of computer time in, which was a nice way to waste an hour or so. And then I very quickly got dressed and while I was doing so, at eight am, my upstairs neighbor rang the doorbell and wanted to spend a whole hour with me while she waited for her taxi. Well, of course I wasn't about to, so I told her that I was getting ready and that I would be leaving soon. Can you imagine, at eight am?

I finished getting ready and walked the dog and hopped on my bike in the sunshine and got to the clinic early, where I sat on the deck with an espresso and had a lovely conversation with a man who is in two of my creative classes, but who I never had a good talk with. So that was nice and let me tell you, first impressions don't mean a thing, because that man is ever so nice and I didn't think he was when I first met him. He is ever so much smarter and interesting than he gave the first impression of.

Pretty soon the rest of the people started showing up and it got busy on the deck and there was a lot of joking around going on. Joviality all over the place, at least that's how I experienced it. I am seeing everything through rose tinted glasses, so my view of the world is very benign. I am like the kindly mother looking with great fondness at all her dear children.

I hollowed out my sculpture that I made last Friday and got as much clay out of it as I could without ruining it, Then I had a long hard look at the picture of the next sculpture I was going to make and tried to figure out all the different shapes and angles and what was there that I couldn't see. I was gathering my courage and then got a big block of clay and thought, "Oh my God, where do I start?" Well, you dig in at one point and just start with one section and hope for the best. Slowly things begin to make sense after you've made all kinds of mistakes that you correct along the way. Clay is very forgiving that way.

Soon it was break time and we all took our coffees into the stinking smoker's room and because we were all women we talked about boobs and diets and bums, which was cause for great hilarity, because some of us had too much of them and some of us not enough. There was only one person there with a nearly perfect figure and she wouldn't have believed it if you had told her.

Then it was back to the clay again and we worked like regular artists, with high concentration and hardly a word between us, except to say help if we got stuck. The morning goes by too quickly and before you know it, it is time to clean up and get all the clay dust of your clothes.

I pedaled my bike home very merrily, although it looked like it was going to rain, but that never manifested itself. I came home and fed the Überhund and took him for a walk, wearing a jacket against the chill wind. It's cooled of quite a bit now and it's not very warm outside and it is overcast. I'm wearing an extra cardigan, because I have the windows open on a crack to air the apartment.

The Exfactor was here for 15 minutes having a cup of coffee and he is going to pick up Nouri on Thursday or Friday afternoon and take her home with him. Officially he is not supposed to have any pets, but since he has all linoleum, he is going to take a chance and see if he can get away with it. I'll be glad when she's gone, because I can't live with the pressure of her doing her business in the neighbor's flowerbed. The Exfactor has already informed the neighbor.

There are many birds chirping outside and I wonder if that has to do with the change in the weather. Of course, it sounds like they are making many happy sounds, but maybe they are saying, "Hey, get in your nest, it's going to rain." Or, "There will be nice rain worms out in a while."

I've made a change to my other blog. I no longer show different images with a randomly generated title there. I now show Altered Images and that is the name of the blog too. So far, I have altered the Exfactor's images, because I have so many of them, but I will do my own too. You can go there here. I hope you enjoy them and notice the difference between the originals. I will do one a day. Bookmark this page.

I looked especially spiffy today with my gray toned empress dress and my gray leggings and my gray bolero, all just different shades of gray with a green necklace. I got complimented on it by a good dresser herself. It does my heart good. Ton sur ton. It works if you do it right.

Here are some pictures I just took:





Have a super splendid rest of the day with sugar on top and whipped cream on the side.

Ciao...

Cutting Class.

The alarm clock woke me at eight AM this morning, which is really a good sign, because it means I'm sleeping well and would probably sleep even later if I could.As it turns out, I think the bed is a much better place for me to sleep in than the sofa was to sleep on, as I am really more comfortable and sleep deeper and steadier and don't wake up with aches and pains.

Nouri keeps me company by laying right beside my pillows and there is always at least one other cat laying on top of me. The Überhund sleeps on his pillow beside the bed. It's all very cozy and you see that the animals do like your company and seek it out.

So, after I got up, I did my slow waking up routine, which includes petting the dog while he sits between my legs and goes into ecstasy, because he loves to have his ears scratched. Then he barked at me, because he wanted to eat. It was his eating bark, which is high pitched and kind of urgent.

I made cigarettes, a whole pack full, and had another coffee and then got dressed and walked the dog in the rain and got very wet. Considering I had to get on my bike and go to the clinic, this did not make me very happy and I wished for it to stop raining, which it did not.

I gathered my things together and was ten minutes away from leaving, when I decided not to go, and it was only partially due to the weather. I suddenly chickened out and thought that I would feel more comfortable if I met the new therapist first and investigate the new work space, so I would not suddenly find myself in a strange place with a new therapist whom I did not know.

Somehow, this way of thinking seemed logical to me and it gave me a way out and I realized that I had been feeling a bit of pressure about it all that I was ignoring. I'm really not a very brave person and imagine all sorts of uncomfortable scenarios in my head before I have to start a new venture. I'd rather make sure everything is safe ahead of time and soothe my own mind.

This left me perfectly nicely dressed and made up unexpectedly at home, so I gave myself some computer time, but I will follow it up with house cleaning time. I think I will finally vacuum the living room, because it's been ages since that's been done, and I will hang up laundry to dry and I will dust. Then I will do whatever other kind of job I have the energy and motivation for, I will make many dents in an otherwise seemingly impossible task.

My sister just called to tell me that she got a terrible case of the stomach flu at both ends for two hours straight and that she now feels completely washed up and weak. It almost sounds like food poisoning, but she has not eaten anything out of the ordinary and no one else is sick. She was supposed to go to work today too. Poor thing.

I think I will start my work in the kitchen and get that area cleaned up first. I do have some dishes to do and some sweeping to do as well. Somehow I always feel better if the kitchen is under control. Then I have a clean base to work from. The cats won't like me dragging out the vacuum cleaner, but it can't be helped. It must be done. Especially the furniture needs a good cleaning.





Well, wish me luck and a lot of muscle power and endurance. Hopefully I'll get far today.

Ciao...

P.S. A tag from my friend Von, they're the latest in compliments to collect in dating sites, as I understand it.

A Pretty Lazy Saturday.

Is it my imagination, or am I having many lazy days lately? Please tell me that it's my imagination, because I would hate to go through life as a not diligent Dutch housewife. I mean I do do the odd job in the apartment now and then and I do take very good care of myself. That ought to account for something, should it not? I am always well put together, the fact that the Queen can't come over for tea at the spur of the moment should not be held against me.

I am striving to follow in the footsteps of my late sister in law who was not a great housewife, but an immensely interesting woman to hang out with and whom I loved dearly. She was always in the mood for any sort of conversation and no subject was taboo, and she had a good sense of humor too and she was very emancipated. Can you think of a better role model? The fact that she didn't scrub her kitchen sink on a daily basis didn't seem so important. She wasn't married to her house.

Anyway, I sort of wiled away the hours doing many mostly unimportant things, though once in a while something mattered quite by accident. Like spontaneously and unplanned cleaning up the kitchen to the point that the counters were free and clean. And going through my mail and throwing away everything that was unimportant and non threatening. And picking up heaps of dog and cat hair that had bunched up together under the furniture. That will be the bane of me yet.

I took a spontaneous nap on the sofa, because I was suddenly overcome by sleepiness in the middle of the day and fell sleep with the TV on, watching a very interesting program about the Holocaust Museum that was built by the same architect who got the commission to build the memorial at Ground Zero.I can't think of his name now. Just a minute...Daniel Libeskind. It's a shame that I missed most of the program, because it was very good. I find daytime television on the weekends to be very interesting with lots of good documentaries and good interview shows.

When I'm not behind the computer, I find that I turn the TV on for company and quite accidentally watch some good programs that way. I fall asleep with it on during the night, turned down low, and sometimes what's on TV becomes part of my dream.They are mostly reruns of the news, so by osmosis I am very well informed.

I made a short shopping list and with rain threatening, I rode my bike to the super market. Luckily, it wasn't too busy and I was done in no time and even remembered to buy a new electronic lighter, because the other kind of lighters always stop working when they are still half full. How is that for optimism? It's actually quite a rip off when you have to dispose of a disposable lighter that's still half full. I tried matches, but the striking surface on the box isn't what it used to be and is only there for decorative purposes.

Just when I had loaded up my bike and started to ride it out of the parking lot, it started to rain really hard and I thought, "Oh, what the heck, you have short hair, it will be dry in no time," and I pedaled home as quickly as I could, not encountering too much traffic, which was good, because I would not have put on my brakes for anyone.Just as I got home, the rain stopped. It was a joke of Mother Nature, she has a good sense of humor. She is always testing my willingness to brave the elements and to see how hardy I am, to see if I'm made of the right stuff to be called a Dutch woman.

I bough ten liters of milk and I hope they last me a while, but knowing how fast I go through milk, it will be gone in no time. The animals in all their curiosity came to help me unpack the groceries and found out to their disgust that there was nothing special for them, except for an empty shopping bag for Toby to climb in. My shopping bag is from the Socialist Party, so people can see my political preference up front. I never think about it when I go out with it and I guess I do make a statement, but it is really no big deal. It's not an in your face sort of thing. Tolerance reigns.

If I didn't vote socialist, I would vote for the Green party, because their attitude is right and they make humorous commercials that get their point of view across exactly. Unluckily, they don't stand a chance of winning enough votes in an election, although out of principle I am on their side. The socialist party is a very serious contender and should have been in this coalition government, but the Christian Democrats would not govern with them and left them out in the cold, which is not how the people voted.

So, we're stuck with this government of Christian jackasses for now, which is a real shame and gave us an unworthy prime minister who is a man without authority and leadership. An embarrassment to the country. That's not the worst of it. You would not believe the clowns who have started their own political parties and movements and who are being taken every seriously. It scares me! They are getting too much attention from the press.

I never knew I was such a political creature until I came back to the Netherlands and gained the right to vote. I never miss the news now and am always on the look out for the ridiculous and the ostensible stupidity that the system brings with it. I think politicians need to be sat on and watched like hawks, unless you have a person of great integrity whom you intrinsically trust.

In the meanwhile, peace and serenity rule in the apartment. The cats are very quietly moving around doing catlike things, such as investigating nooks and crannies that they know by heart, but are apparently worth having another look at. The Überhund is sound asleep by my feet. He told me earlier that he was hungry, so we fixed that problem. He really tries to tell me what he specifically wants and hopes I guess the right thing by his general stand and bark. We usually figure it out pretty quickly, but I don't know which one of us is the smart one.

I am planning on staying up late and sleeping late in the morning, but you know about good intentions. They do fall by the wayside. All I need to do is put my pajamas on and get on that sofa and I will be sleeping before you know it. I am hoping on some good entertainment from the TV, maybe that will help.

Here are some more photographs from the Exfactor.




Have a very good evening and wish for lots of sunshine for tomorrow.

Ciao...

A rainy Friday.

It was raining so hard this morning, that I was forced to call my sister to ask her to drive me to creative therapy. It was a hard decision to make and I had my druthers about asking her and I even thought that she would refuse to drive me there, but I called anyway and she agreed to take me whilst letting me know that she was very busy, but I just thought, "Don't go shopping where the store is closed," and waited patiently for her to pick me up.

We were there in a jiffy by car and she agreed to pick me up at 12:30, while all the while she was letting me indirectly know what a great inconvenience it was to her, by telling me all the things she had to do today, but I've had a change of attitude and think that I should just let her talk and not let it bother me one bit, because really, what's the big deal?

I had brought two small books with me to start on an altered book, so when I walked in, I said to the creative therapist that I was not going to work with clay anymore and that I was going to do something completely different.

So, together we pulled my attempt at a free form sculpture of it's pin and then I was allowed to drop and pound all the clay back into a rectangle so it would fit into its bag again and this was a lot of fun. You drop it from a great height onto the table surface and listen to it go splat and mesh into a solid form. You do this repeatedly until it is one solid rectangle.

Then something fun happened. A lot of the sculptures that we had worked on were pulled out of the oven and there were three of mine there. That meant that we got the paints and the paint brushes out and went to work on the sculptures.

I painted mine black at first and then with three shades of bronze and one shade of gold gave them a patine color, which is tricky if you've never done it before, but lots of fun once you get the hang of it. I was determined to get them done today, because together they weighed 7 kilos and I would not be able to get them home by bike. One of them was even to fragile for that.

I worked as quickly as I could, while still doing a good job, and got finished just on time. We packed them in a box with plastic bags as cushioning material and off I went to the exit where my sister was just driving up in her car, so the timing was perfect.

The Frog

Sitting Figure

Reclining Figure.

There is another sculpture I made that's not done yet, that's quite big and I hope it's done next week, because I would like to finish it and have them all home. Sort of as a done project that I am finished with. I have proved to myself that I can do this and may do it again in the future, but for now I am finished with it, I think.

When I got home, I moved some things around and gave each sculpture a proper place and hope to God the cats don't knock anything over. Things seem pretty solid, but you never know.

The Exfactor came over with the memory stick and stayed for one cup of coffee and four cookies. He braved the rain to come here, but as a serious motorcycle rider, that ought not to faze him one bit. He was dressed for it. He bragged about the enormous puddles he drove through. They were pretty much the size of ponds or small lakes, not to mention the mud he encountered.

I had to wait for a lull in the rain to go to the tobacco shop to pick up my weekly supply of tobacco, which they keep behind the counter, which makes it all look very clandestine. All we have to do is start nudging and winking a lot and look at the customers very suspiciously.

It rained a little bit when I took out the Überhund, but he didn't mind, as long as it's not a downpour. He isn't smelly yet, so that's good.

The Exfactor gave me some extra photographs, so I'll pick some of those out to add to this post. I'll give you all the entertainment you want. I have these in large format, so if your name is John and you want some of these, just give me a holler.



That's all I've got to tell you for today, folks. It's time to put my pajamas on and watch the news and be ever so cozy on the sofa.

Have a great evening and let's hope for some nice weather tomorrow.

Ciao...