I've already been to bed, but decided after an hour of lying there frustratingly awake that I couldn't fall asleep, so I got up again. I figured that an hour of trying to fall asleep was long enough and that was all the time I was going to put into it. It's really not worth more of an effort than that. My whole body was getting restless, including my legs and I didn't know what to do with them.
So now I'm up, drinking a glass of milk and smoking a cigarette. Of course I have to entertain myself and what better way to do it than by writing blog posts. I have to use my imagination, which I hope not to be short of, but I will try my best and dig deeply into my brain and come up with what I hope is the best. At least, what is the best of a somewhat dull mind late at night that's not overly stimulated by excitement. I probably should make myself some fresh coffee. That ought to do the trick.
While I was lying in bed, all sorts of subjects passed my mind, but they all had to do with the state of affairs of the world, such as the situations in Japan and Libya and those aren't exactly optimistic things to write about. They happened to be discussed on the radio too and I wondered if we weren't forgetting other pressing matters that are taking place in the world. We seem to get so caught up in the immediate traumas that we forget the other ones that last forever without end and are ongoing and need our attention too. I'm thinking about the ones in third world countries and that we can't seem to bring to a satisfactory conclusion.
I'm not going to get caught up in a doom and gloom post however and try to fix all the problems of the world. I realize it's a big unfair place to live in and that I'm a fortunate person. I live in a still somewhat civilized western European country that's probably the best place to live in. I'm not going to go hungry or get raped by marauding rebels or have my limbs cut off like would happen to me in some African country. If people talk about reincarnating into another life, they never think they might end up as a poor powerless person in one of those countries.
It's definitely time to drink some coffee now and I've just started a pot. I think I'm a little bit too morose. You may not be used to that from me. I'm a bit of a cynic actually and I don't think a lot of these problems can be resolved by outside help from care organizations. It's the people themselves that have to come to their senses and have to take their lives into their own hands. Otherwise we have to return to some form of colonialism. It would be the only solution.
I'm drinking a cup of coffee now and should be good as new in no time. No doubt the caffeine will give me a more optimistic point of view soon. I will be like Pollyanna again and see the world through rose colored glasses, though I doubt that Pollyanna drank coffee. I wonder sometimes if it isn't better to live in oblivion and be ignorant of most things that happen around you except the most immediate. I feel impotent to do anything about most things, except to leave a small carbon footprint. But that's also because of economic necessities. I live frugally and therefor environmentally friendly. Nothing is wasted or bought in abundance.
I've discovered that I like soups with pasta very much. There's one brand in particular that's like eating a meal. I can just handle one can of it and it's not too salty. It's got pasta and vegetables in it and it comes in different flavors. I had tomato with pasta tonight and chicken with pasta last night. They were mighty tasty. My gastric band can handle them well and they are nutritious. I always like discovering new foods that are easy to handle and that make me feel satisfied. I heat them up in a bowl in the microwave so I have no dirty pan. I never get the stove dirty that way and I do hate cleaning up the stove. These soups are better than eating Cup A Soups which have no nutritional value whatsoever. They're all sodium and flavoring. Don't be fooled by the advertising.
I'm just about done with my stint of eating yogurt. It was good while it lasted, but now I'm tired of it. I've got yogurt coming out of my nose. I need to eat something else instead. I'm thinking of chocolate pudding. That would be a real treat for dessert. This kind is pourable and has the same consistency as yogurt. It would take care of my sweet tooth at the same time. I haven't been eating Nutella because I thought it was too decadent and I liked it too much. I did have to put an end to that. I do have to watch my weight a little bit, especially now that I've increased two of my medications.They do have a tendency to make you gain weight.
I'm not tired, so I will go look for other ways to amuse myself. Hopefully I will find some way to do this. I can't change my templates because I've already done that and I think I like the way they look. Maybe there's something else I haven't done yet that I've overlooked so far. I do always want my bit of intrigue when I'm up like this in the middle of the night. It never really does amount to much actually. I don't really get into any sort of trouble. Most of what I do is quite innocent.
I hope you're all having a good night. No doubt some of you are sound asleep. Those of you who are wide awake are welcome to join me in my vigil. The more souls, the merrier.