Monday, July 26, 2010

The real thing...

Things go a lot better once you stop artificially pumping up your feelings to a level of elation and joyfulness you try to achieve to get into the bright eyed and bushy tailed mood you think you're supposed to be in. For some reason, It was very important to me to always appear cheerful and happy, like a clown with a big smile permanently plastered on his face, and when I didn't achieve this, I subconsciously altered my feelings to try and get myself into the corresponding mood. When I failed, I became depressed and not a little bit. Everything must be wrong with the world if I could not achieve cheerfulness.

Yesterday I decided to stop doing that. To stop artificially feeling something else than what I was really feeling and I'm going to do that every day. I'm going to take inventory every morning and ask myself how I truly feel and not just blindly that I now, this minute, need to be elated and joyful. That I need to exist on a higher plane, dislocated from the real world.

If I am not quite happy, which in reality a lot of times I am not, then so be it. That's the state I will find myself in that day and that is how I will function, because I will not stop functioning. Being not quite happy will at least be closer to reality and maybe it will give me a chance to improve the things that need to be improved. That I'm not quite happy with. Maybe it will wipe out the extreme short term thinking that I do and make me see things more in a wider, longer term perspective. At least it will place me with both my feet firmly planted on the ground.

So, that's the state of mind I find myself in on this very cool and cloudy Monday morning. It's 15C (59F) and I'm certainly not complaining about the weather. I will wear my denim jacket when I walk the dog, which is really too big on me and I should buy another one, but that's of later concern. Next month maybe.

It rained a little bit last night and it's supposed to rain today, but you know how I feel about the promises of the weather people. I'll believe it when I see it. The weather is very fickle and you can't depend on the forecast.

Tyke tells me it is time to go for a walk, so I'll pay attention to him and go. He is right, it is time.

Have a good day, people.



Bernie said...

Hi Nora, it is impossible to be happy all the time, no one is....
I love life and people and have a good social life but I have days I am grumpy or not feeling well, I thank God they are not very often but they do show up. Just be yourself sweetie, the best "you" you can be and I bet you will have more happy days then sad.
When I went through the deaths of my husband and son I had to work so hard just to survive...I made a plan and followed it each day and it worked for me. Every day I showered, exercised and felt the sun on my face, even if it rained I went outside to breathe in fresh air. Some days it took everything I had to do only these things. Happy to say the plan worked!
Have a great day my friend....Hugs

Maggie May said...

Nora, I agree with Bernie........ Can't possibly be happy all the time.
Getting snatches of contentedness is the norm, I think. Sometimes in large swatches.
However, there is usually something that will try to take this from you. Thats life.
Today is the first week of the school holiday in this part of England.
I hope you have a really good day today.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Twain12 said...

just be yourself, i think that's the best way to live life. Bernie and Maggie said it very well. 15C here too (with sunshine), my kind of weather

Frances said...

Good to take the pressure of the perfect life off your shoulders.
Life is up and down and we humans are the same
I shall try to follow your example and accept my moods instead of fighting them and thinking I can be better and if better, happy all the time. LOL

frazzledsugarplummum said...

Thanks for talking about a subject that affects us all but dont usually think about.