It's early in the morning and any time now the sun is going to come up. It will not be the spectacular sight I make it out to be. It will slowly get light and there will not be musical accompaniment as there would be in a documentary narrated by David Attenborough. It will be a very understated event. An every day occurrence.
On top of that, it is foggy now and it will be cloudy later, so you can well imagine that it will not look like I am on the Serengeti Plains. Today will be just a bad weather day in the Netherlands in July. We're stuck under a low pressure system.
It would be nice if life were accompanied by a permanent appropriate soundtrack, but there is no such thing, although I guess people with iPods would disagree with that. Maybe it would become somewhat nerve wrecking after a while if every experience were set to music, even if it was the music of your choice.
I would need a lot of Baroque, for instance. Lots of Bach. That would fit my life best. For me no highly dramatic, sweeping movements by Mahler. That would be way too emotional. I would only go as far as Vivaldi for the bigger events.
Let's face it, though. There are no really big events in my life anymore. They're all well behind me. All I have left now is the preciseness of every day predictability and the false sense of control that I try to keep over it.
I say it is a false sense because you rarely can control all the events in your life. You are always left vulnerable because you're a human being and part of a whole. You'd have to be a recluse not to be exposed to that.
I watched a fun thriller last night. It was called 'Sherlock' and yes, there was a Dr Watson, but it played in the present time and there was no question of time travel. There had never been another Sherlock Holmes. I was a bit skeptical at first, but it turned out to be a brilliant episode and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I hope there's another episode on soon because I'll be watching it with pleasure.
Yesterday was a shitty day. I was in a state of depression practically all day. It didn't lift until the evening, like it usually does when the day is over. I don't know what to make of it and I don't know what the cause of it is. I'll blame it on the weather for lack of a better reason.
I do so intensely dislike my moods and the eternal shifts in them that I find unpredictable. I always try to find the reason, but it is not always obvious and when I think I have found it, it very often doesn't turn out to be the right one.
All I can hope for is a shift toward a better mood and that this doesn't take too long. I do feel like a puppet on a string.
I must go back to bed. I've got some sleeping left to do. Today should be a quite ordinary day without surprises in it. I've got to do some chores, but nothing spectacular. There is going to be rain and it should be a good day to read.
Have a good day, all of you.