Sunday morning.

Well, I've slept. It wasn't a heck of a lot of sleep, but it was some sleep anyway, and here I am bright eyed and bushy tailed, drinking my first cup of coffee and having my first cigarette of the morning. Outside the sky is bright blue and the sun is shining and it looks like it is going to be a wonderful day. That reminds me that I have to add the weather forecast to my browser, but that rain that was predicted never did materialize. I told you so! I could have dried the laundry outside after all. Makes you wonder why I need the weather forecast, doesn't it? I guess I like to see how wrong it can be.

I added the email addresses to the email program during the night, or should I say, in the wee hours of the morning? That would be more correct. I was having trouble keeping my eyes open, that's how tired I was, but it was a good kind of tired, an all over exhaustion, which is why it is so surprising that I'm up and about already. I guess I was hunkering for a good cup of coffee. I have no other explanation for it. It wasn't Tyke who woke me. For a change he slept late too and was as good as gold. He did take up position on the windowsill just now and got ready for another barking session, so I put a stop to that in a hurry. He was very disgusted with me, but is asleep at my feet now. It is Sunday morning and I don't want him making a racket.

The new computer is a little bit addictive. I keep wanting to play with it, but I really have no reason to, except when it comes to downloading and uploading things. I have no business hanging out here all the time other than that and I do have a life away from the computer. I'm like a kid with a new toy and I want to know all the ins and outs about it immediately. Never mind that I have all the time in the world to do so. I have to remind myself that I don't have to do everything all at once. There are other things to do. I have a dog to walk and a household to run and cat barf to clean up. I'm going to make a special effort to shut it off in a while and do something completely different. But first I'm having another cup of coffee. Like the saying goes, I can't walk on one leg.

Tyke is having his breakfast. He is forced to, because every time he walks away from his bowl, the cats come to eat from it, so he has to quickly run back to it. That will teach him a lesson. If he times it right, he will be done by the time I'm ready to take him for a walk. Then our walk won't be in vain. I'm looking forward to it because of the sunshine, although it is a little bit cold out. I will have to wear my gloves.

I'm planning on vacuuming the sofa today and then taking the covers off the cushions and washing them. It is a plan. I don't know if it is actually going to happen. I thought I might do it in one of my spare moments. I'm assuming I will have those if I can pull myself away from the computer. Doubtlessly, with a little bit of effort I can, or otherwise I will have rectangular eyes again and a sore back from sitting here. And a sore rear end. I think I need a pillow to sit on, because I was aching there earlier and I do have a well cushioned bottom.

Well, without much further ado, I will end this post and get going. I will get dressed and finally take my medicines, because I haven't even done that yet. Then Tyke and I will get some fresh air. It will put some color on my cheeks, no, not those that I just discussed.

Have a great Sunday, everyone. I still don't know if my email program works.

Ciao,
Nora

It's working well!

I've decided not to watch any Olympics this evening, but instead to catch up on my blog reading, which I was very behind on. I'll get my pajamas on in a while and make myself comfortable on the sofa and watch some Olympics then. They are broadcast all night because of the time difference. I don't know what I'm going to do when the Olympics are over. Life will be so boring when everything gets back to normal. Well, maybe not. There was life before the Olympics, after all, and somehow I managed. I know I read a lot more books then.

I'm taking my medicines for my airway infection and I must say that the codeine works very well. I'm allowed to take it 4 times a day and it completely takes away the pain, making it a lot easier to breathe, allowing me to do things as if there is hardly anything the matter with me. So, needless to say, I did some chores today.

First I cleaned up that torn bag of cat litter. I was a ten kilo bag and when I tried to pick it up, the bottom fell out and all the cat litter dropped on the ground. I swept it all up and put it in a different bag and then swept the whole room which was covered in dog hair and debris from outside that the cats and the dogs had tracked in and other dust and soil. It hadn't been properly cleaned in a while and it is where the back door is, so you can imagine what it looked like. It looked like the great outdoors.

Since that was done so successfully, and since I was hardly out of breath, I vacuumed the apartment next. I didn't rush the job, but did it nice and easy, as if I had all the time in the world, which I did. I vacuumed up the last of Jesker's hair that was stuck beneath the furniture and now that is all gone. Tyke doesn't shed any hair. His fur is thick and curly, but I have yet to find any laying around.

Now I have to mop the floors, which is going to be a lot of work, so I saved that job for another day. I have a sponge mop and I think it is more work than a rag mop, though I am still undecided which of the two I like better. I know I will feel a lot happier once the floors are clean, because they are mucky now. I do want to pick the right moment to clean them, when I have a lot of energy and I know I can get the job done. I will do them in stages and take little breaks in between.

My nose is still plugged up and I can't blow it now. Everything is stuck. It causes me to talk funny. My throat is slighty sore and hoarse, and my chest is rattly, but it doesn't hurt thanks to the codeine. I know that in a few days I will feel a lot better. I'm already glad that I'm able to do chores so much easier and that I'm not just lying on the sofa being sick. That's a great relief to me.

Lately I've been having regular crises over the value of the purpose of my existence. I very much miss having a reason to go on living for other than Tyke, and before that it was Jesker. I think of how tough it has been to survive this past winter and how very much I don't want to have another winter like it and that I'm not happy with the prospect that I'm going to have winters like that for the rest of my life. I wonder about the true purpose of my life and what it really is all about and I don't see much reason for it, other than to just get up in the morning and somehow make the best of it until I go to sleep. It doesn't seem like a very fruitful and useful life.

I wish there were an option to step out of your life when you think it has been enough. That you've lived the life you've wanted to live and that you don't see much purpose in going on living. When the negatives of life outweigh the positives and there's not enough happiness left in it. I find myself in that position now and I very gladly would have followed Jesker into his eternal sleep. I'm quite envious of him to have died such a peaceful death. Just one little injection of sleep medication is all it took.

Well, that's all I have to say about the subject for now. I'm sure I'll talk more about it later. It's open for discussion.

Ciao,
Nora

It's morning again and then what?

You answer you emails and drink your cups of coffee and smoke your cigarettes, that's what you do. And when you've answered all your emails, you get to write a blog post, that's allowable, because you've got the time and the inspiration.

I've slept my now normal 8 hours again and I feel fully rested and ready to tackle the day, though I mustn't say this too loud, because I have been known to go back to bed after I've said such a thing. Although I don't think I will today, because the day beckons me with the chores I want to get done. After I wrote my post last night, you see, I didn't actually do a thing, but eat and watch the news and go to bed early with my very exciting book and a piece of Camembert cheese, which has given me a sore throat and I know it's from the cheese, because I haven't had any in a long time and now I just happen to have a sore throat, which I normally don't have.

Outside it's 1C and raining and the snow is turning into slush. Not a great day to go outside, but I'll have to walk the poor dog in it. I'll have to wait until the worst of it is over. Of course, this means that the laundry that I didn't bring in last night, is now sopping wet and I'll have to run it through the spin cycle of the washing machine. But it will be somewhat fresh smelling having been soaked by the rain, which is very clean, I hope. The laundry on the drying rack in the bathroom wasn't quite dry last night and I didn't think to bring the laundry from outside in, as they predicted no rain. Well, I was fooled, wasn't I? I will have to go out in my hooded coat and get it off the clothesline and bring it dripping wet into the apartment in the laundry basket and stick it into the washing machine. I can already imagine how cold and wet it will be now.

It's just a minor setback in my day and nothing I can't deal with and, except for very cold hands, there will be no after effects. Everything in life should be that simple to resolve. The good part about the day is, that instead of sweeping the floors last night in the dimness of the light bulbs, I get to vacuum it now by daylight, so I will see much better what I do. This will obviously mean that I will see the dirt better and know where to scrub harder when I get ready to clean the floors. It is my intention to do that today, because I have no other plans and no places to go. I do want the place to look good before Christmas, that's a promise I made myself and I need to stick to it.

I will absolutely not be a diva today, but just an ordinary run of the mill middle aged housewife, which is a persona I need to be every once in a while when I need to pull the interior of my apartment back into shape again. This is best done in extremely comfortable clothes and without regard to my exterior. It's unimportant what I look like. What counts are some muscle and brawn and endurance. A pair of knee pads would help too, but I haven't got any of those.

Of course, there's no law that says I need to be middle aged to be a good housewife, because I used to be young and be a very competent one too, but the fact is that I've reached that point in my life that I'm actually called middle aged and that is a moniker I can't easily get away from, no matter how hard I try, unless I have plastic surgery done all over the place and look like Jane Fonda. If I had the money I would have it done, the works, everything, nip and tuck and do whatever it needs. I'm vain enough for it. I don't like the way my body is getting older and the way gravity is working on everything, pulling it all downwards to my knees. Even my eyelids.

In the meantime, I'm waiting for it to get light outside so the day can get started and I'm hoping for the rain to stop. The streets are going to be a mess and doubtlessly there will be traffic jambs as a result of it. It seems we can't deal with winter weather anymore. Every bit of snowfall takes us by surprise, as if we don't live in a cold climate where that happens regularly. A real snowfall would immobilize the country. How do you people in the Mid West and Canada do it?

My dog is barking at me and that is the signal that he wants to go out. I just looked out the window and it is barely drizzling, so I suppose we can go brave the elements now. We will just get a little wet.

I hope you all have a good day and that your weather isn't as foul as it is here, because this is no fun. But we'll stubbornly walk under the threatening skies and defy all the dark clouds.

Ciao,
Nora

Autumn...

Yesterday afternoon it was my intention to just vacuum the area rug, because I was not in the mood for the noisy vacuum cleaner, but once I had it out and running, it wasn't all that bad and I decided to vacuum the kitchen and the bedroom too. The noise is always worse in your memory than it is in real life. I also vacuumed the dog's pillow and then applied flea drops to him and got his clean blanket out of the laundry, so we should be flea free now. As long as the cats don't bring home any new ones, which they always do in the summertime. They roam far and wide and pick them up all over the place. That's the good part about wintertime, we'll be rid of those pesky fleas.

I didn't do the dishes, because of the vacuuming, and then I was so hungry that I had to eat and after that I walked the dog and then the news was on. No happy news on the news, with dire predictions that we haven't felt the worst of the economic crisis yet, even though things have stabilized. The real consequences will be felt next year when there will be a shortage of money and massive layoffs. Isn't that a wonderful thing to look forward to? We mustn't get discouraged and keep the money rolling. Well, mine certainly is. It is being pumped back into the economy whether I like it or not.

I slept on the sofa again and woke up in the middle of the night with a very painful arm and hand, so I guess I will be sleeping in my bed again tonight. I did shut off the television with the remote control, which means I put it on stand by and I hate to do that, because it still uses energy that way. When you're pinching pennies like me, all those things add up. The sofa is just long enough for me to sleep on, but it's not wide enough and I have to make myself small or my arm will fall off the side of it. That creates discomfort, so I better go back to my bed.

I got to ergo therapy this morning, only to find out that the ergo therapist was sick, but we were allowed to go to creative therapy instead, which I thought was just splendid. It was with the therapist who I dropped on Tuesdays and she is the one with all the neat ideas on what to do with paper and inks and watercolors, so I picked up a lot of pointers today and I now can't wait to apply them and I desperately want to go out and get supplies, but I have to be patient. I saw the neatest effect on what to do with watercolor paper and colored inks and I can't wait to try it. It makes me think I ought to go back to that class on Tuesdays, but I'm afraid it will be too much again and I must be sensible.

I had been putting the grocery shopping off since Monday and was so very much not looking forward to it. It was the thought of going to the ever busy supermarket and picking out the groceries and standing in line that was putting me off. Also riding home with all the groceries in the bags on my bike and unloading everything. I just was not up to the task. So I called the Exfactor and asked him very bluntly if he would do it for me instead and he happily agreed to, which was a great relief to me.

I made a not so overwhelming shopping list and when he got here, he went straight to the supermarket and was back here within the shortest amount of time, because for the Exfactor everything is a breeze. I don't know how the man does it, but nothing seems to bother him. He does everything with a snap of his fingers. Needless to say, I was very grateful and I won't have to go shopping now until next week. I'm going to try to make everything last as long as possible.

I'm taking a tranquilizer three times a day, I've decided, and it agrees well with me. It is just the right amount to settle me down and make me calm enough. I'm not so much under the influence that I'm a zombie, but it does take the sharpest edges off and that is pleasant, because now I don't have to worry as much. On the whole, my day is much easier with them and I am more relaxed and at ease and not so stressed.

I think always feeling a certain amount of anxiety is second nature to me, so feeling more of it comes very easy to me, but it sure is a tiring thing. It's like you're always prepared for something unpleasant to happen, even when nothing is going to, but you assume it will. I have had many, many years like that since my childhood and it's become permanently engraved in my mind. I don't want to live under that assumption, though, and I try to reason myself out of it, but it is hard to have to do it over and over again repeatedly without end. It's nice to get a break like I do with the tranquilizers, I just shouldn't take such a mega dose of them and I won't now.

I wore my Spring/Fall boots today and my warmer leggings. The weather has turned and it really feels like Autumn out today. There's a chilly wind and clouds in the sky and it looks like rain. I like it, this is my kind of weather, this is my month to really live and breathe and come alive in. The weatherman said that meteorologically speaking, it is Fall now, although on the calender it says it won't be until the 21st. For all things concerning the weather it is Autumn now. I believe it, because you can feel it in the air and tell by the sunlight.

I still haven't done the dishes now. Do you think they will wait for me forever or wash themselves and line up neatly in the dish rack on the kitchen counter.? Oh well, I suppose I will get around to them sooner or later. I will get an attack of cleanliness and they will suddenly get done. Just like everything gets done around here. Things never do turn into the disaster they could be. I always save myself on time.

I've got to read some email and blog posts now and make myself another cup of decaf. If I make it strong enough it doesn't taste like decaf. I can even fool myself.

Have a great evening. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. That leaves you a lot of leeway.

Ciao...

Not doing it...

Here I am not doing the dishes that are soaking in boiling hot water in the kitchen sink. The water will cool off and I will have to add new hot water, so I can burn my hands properly when I reach in to get the knifes and forks. That will cause me to say bad words, but there are no easily impressed children here, so it doesn't matter. The animals don't know about such things, they are innocent. They only know how to make several sounds and swearing isn't one of them.

Not that I really swear, of course. I have been raised right, but I learned to say four letter words in English and, because they had less meaning to me, I say them easily, like most Dutch people of a certain generation do. You wouldn't believe their language in English! They say words they wouldn't say in Dutch. Well, I do too, sometimes. It feels good, especially when you're not able to say those things in your own language, because you would be too embarrassed to.

All English speaking people should learn to swear in another language that they all agree upon. I can imagine a few popular comedians starting this trend and the whole English speaking world picking this up. Everybody would have to learn about five foreign swear words, maybe ten to make it really challenging, but let's start with five. Popular comedians from the biggest English speaking nations could then import these words into their repertoire and make them common and every day. National papers could report about the phenomenon and print these words in articles they write about it and people would learn how the words looked and get some sense of the pronunciation and the feel of them. They could be in Swedish or German or French, or to be really offensive, in Japanese. No, scratch that, we can't do that to the Japanese after they gave us things like the Toyota and rock gardens.

See what happens when you write a post instead of doing the dishes on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon? I could have done those dishes yesterday. There aren't that many of them and if I had a dishwasher, I wouldn't have to bother with sticking my hands in hot boiling water at all.

Well, luckily there is some insulating power in household gloves, so I'll be wearing those. Pretty pink ones too, so a man wouldn't be caught dead wearing them and they probably wouldn't fit either.

It's been so nice to have the day off, although I have yet to do much useful with it. I've walked Jesker twice and he was relieved twice in all meanings of the word. I go around the apartment and do nonsensical things, like rearrange books and empty ashtrays and flatten milk cartons and act like I've really done a lot. It all makes no difference. I am lazy and that's the way it is. No, I am not lazy, I am just at the end of my housewifely career. I really need a housekeeper at this point, as I'm so totally not capable of finding satisfaction in cleaning up my apartment and I really don't care enough. If you roller skate through it and it looks clean, then I'm happy. Just roller skate at a steady speed, please.

Well, all silliness aside, I am going to vacuum in a while after I have done the dishes, because I must do something to warrant my existence here. I can't just sit and be. I also have to do. It's been a while now since I've discovered that vacuuming is not the dangerous household task that I thought it was, so I can easily do it for the fifteen minutes that it's going to take me to clean the place up. No mass murderer is going to sneak into the apartment and wipe me out because I can't hear him enter. God, the horrible fantasies I have. An imaginative mind is a terrible curse. It lets you pretend too much.

I realize that leaves me one chore short of three, but I'm sure I'll think of something else that's very productive and useful. There is always something else to do. My loyal four footers make sure of that. It's because of their dirty paws that I clean the kitchen cabinet doors, which are an impractical white and whoever thought of that being a good color for a kitchen? It must have been a man who never cleaned house.

I take back everything I ever said about carpet and wish I had it throughout the whole apartment. I have carpet in my bedroom and that room stays so clean. I only dust and vacuum it once a week or so. The rest of the apartment has linoleum, because I thought that was more practical, but I regret it now. All those rooms have nothing but hair and dust, constantly, and when I can afford it, I am going to have carpet put into the other rooms as well. Big words, When I Can Afford It. I will, some day. I just don't want to think about the big job it is going to be to put it in. Argh!

Well, really, you guys. I have to go and do those dishes now and drag that vacuum cleaner through the apartment. I always make my best moves at the end of the day. Not when I'm at my best like ordinary people, but when I'm mentally already slipping into a lower gear. Playing with hot water will perk me back up, though. It's a dangerous business, playing house. Electric appliances and hot water and everything.

Have a beautiful evening, or a beautiful day, if you are in that time zone.

Ciao...

A lot of work...

When I'm talking about a lot of work, I don't mean me. I mean you people who will have to read several posts to be completely updated on what I have been doing this night, and since the night is not over yet, god only knows if there is going to be another post for you to read.

I said that I was going to make my bed first when I left you last and that is what I did. I picked a neat stack of fresh smelling sheets out o f the closet and made the bed ever so quickly. It was done before you could say "Geronimo." They smelled so good, because I had dried them out on the line in the July sunshine and they felt nice and crisp. If I ever do get to bed, it will be a pleasure to lie down in it.

Then I gathered all my dishes and glasses that were spread a round the apartment and rinsed them under hot water and did the dishes in hot soapy water until they were sparkling clean. I dried the silverware, but left the rest to dry in the rack and will put them away first thing tomorrow morning, which it almost is, come to think of it.

The ceiling light in the kitchen had not been working for months and I finally got a new bulb out of the closet and with the help of my stepladder, changed the light bulb and behold, I could see the dirt!

Well, really, I am exaggerating. I could see a lot better where I had to sweep the floor and I did that first and in the process of doing that, I nearly knocked over the water bowl for the cats and sloshed water all over the floor, which then actually made it easier to sweep up the dog heir, because it clumped together better. So I wondered if it would be better to always sweep the floors with a wet broom and now that I think about it some more, I think I may be right and I'm going to try that out some time.

Then I dusted the surfaces in the living room with a damp cloth and wiped away the cat hair that they leave all over the place, because they sit wherever they like and nothing is sacred. If you use a dry cloth it doesn't work. The hair just escapes to other places. I emptied the ashtrays and put numerous little items back in their place. Doesn't everybody leave their nail clippers and sunglasses and pliers laying around? And don't you all have a special odd place to keep those things?

I swept the living room floor and you would be surprised by the amount of hair and grit that was there. All that stuff goes into your carpet. I was sorry that I couldn't vacuum, because the chairs needed a good cleaning and doing it with a brush isn't going to cut it this time. Can you believe that I said I was sorry that I couldn't vacuum? Really! It's unbelievable!

I swept the hallway and had to move several items around and the swept the spare bedroom, which is really the junk room, so I'll call it that and it seemed that Jesker's hair had gathered here into snowdrifts that kept escaping from my broom. That's why I think a wet broom will work better. It will make the hair all nice and clumpy and stick to the broom better.

Anyway, I finally got that done and had heaps of dirt and hair all over the place, which I removed with the hand broom and the dustpan. That's always a very satisfying job and I always wish for more heaps, because I like brushing them into the dustpan. I did see that I needed to mop the floors and that there were some areas that I needed to scrub, so that will be my next job. It will be fun and satisfying. I can't wait. I also can't believe I said that. What's wrong with me?

Next I drank a tall glass of juice and made a package of cigarettes. I used to get tobacco in cans and always had problems with tobacco that was either too moist or too dry. Since I switched to strong tobacco, I get it in a heavy paper pack and the tobacco is always just right all the way down to the bottom of the pack, so you see that the old fashioned way of packaging sometimes is the best. I love to hold my paper pack of tobacco. I like the printing on the label and the name of it. It is called "Look Out." It is a brand that has been around forever. It's a manly tobacco in a manly pack.

I took all my medication, including my sleeping pill and we'll see if it is going to work. Either way I have to take it, otherwise I'll get withdrawal symptoms. I can't just not take t, even though that's what I want to do. I'd like to just stay up and not bother going to bed and do some more chores now that I'm in the proper frame of mind. I could mop the floors and I still have to hang up the laundry and I could wash windows when it gets light, even though it is Sunday, but who can be bothered?


I just cleaned up a whole bunch of my clothes that I had laying in the bathroom, things that I had worn this week and had discarded and not put away where they belonged and now seemed like a good time to put them away properly before I hung up the laundry to dry. So now the laundry is on the drying rack smelling of delicious clean detergent, but I did notice that I need to clean the mirror and cosmetics shelf as its is rather dusty and could use a good shine and I should mop that floor too. I've got my work cut out for me.I did manage to pair up one single sock with its companion, leaving no sock single. At least none that matter. I knew it would show up sooner or later in one of the following washes.It was just temporarily misplaced and not in another universe or another dimension.

I do have to organize my closet a little bit better, I do have some sort of system now, but it's getting kind of messy and although I can find things, I like it neater than it is now with the stacks a little better organized. maybe I should start a list of things to do and work my way down it and neatly check off what's been done. That ought to give me some satisfaction. Right, first things first, make a list, however brief and concise and give it many admiring glances through out the day.

This is not at all in conflict with my doing things in chores of threes of course, I can still do that, Some of the chores may be a little bit bigger, but if I have the energy, than more power to me. I just have to take advantage of this energetic me that's surfaced and get her to do as many things as possible in whatever time we've got.

It's too bad that I don't have an Ikea flat pack to put together right now, because I do need a bigger closet and I have the wherewithal to stick one together in a few hours, but I'll have to price them first and see what they cost, probably an arm and a leg. I also want to look for a new area rug, because the one I have was very cheap and is starting to show its cheapness and I want some more color instead of the drab browns. I'll have to check the Ikea website in a while to see what's available. Oh, aren't I just full of big plans.

Somebody said I'm back in the saddle again and I guess they weren't joking. I'm like the Pony Express going at full speed. I've got me a pinto that won't quit. Sheer will power is keeping me going and lots of very focused energy.

In a minute, I am going to make me a bucket of suds and get my sponge mop and tackle the floors, It will be a pleasure to do them. I have boundless energy and I think that with a break now and then, I can do the whole apartment.It will be like in the olden days, when housewives got up with the chickens and did their chores before their husbands and children awakened.I will be a babushka and wear a scarf around my head and boots over my long johns and be forever at work cleaning and scrubbing because cleanliness is next to godliness and I'll have a crucifix above my living room door. Of course, I'll need some chickens to get up with.

Okay, I'm off to do my next chores, I'm sure I'll keep you updated on my coming housewifely acts and the sheer excitement of them, so get ready for the next installment.

Ciao...

That's okay then...

It;s another early in the morning moment. I'm having my coffee and my cigarettes and am enjoying the piece and quiet all around me. I slept a lot yesterday and fell asleep on the sofa in the evening and spent the night there, totally oblivious of everything. I know I was watching Midsomer Murders, but that is my last memory of what was on TV.

After I wrote my last post yesterday, I didn't feel all that great. Actually, I was a bit distraught and a feeling of desperation was settling over me. This, of course, had to do with my sense of failure which I felt, although I know in my heart that it was completely unnecessary. Nevertheless, for that moment I felt it and wanted to punish myself for it.

Luckily, I was able to reach my own therapist and, at the moment of greatest need, I was able to talk to her about everything. This was very helpful, as she knows me very well and has been able to keep track of my moods these last few months and has seen how they have fluctuated. She probably knows them better than I do.

It was good to talk to her about my fears and insecurities and my worries about feeling so easily overwrought all the time. There's nobody better to talk to than the person who knows the story of your life.

After having increased my antipsychotic medication last week, we had just decreased it again on Monday, because I seemed to be doing fine. So, the first thing we did was increase it again and I must say that this had an immediate effect and that it calmed me right down and that I quickly came to my senses again. Such is the working of that medication and I'm grateful for it.

Secondly, she talked me out of my feelings of shame, which I also came to see as unnecessary and not worthy of the cause (I think that's what I mean to say).

She dates my tendency to become easily overwrought to an incident that happened a few months ago and that makes sense to me and I have to trust her on this, because she has a good point of view on this and can judge it better than I can.

As I said, the rest of the day was spent in peace and quiet and sleep. That medication does so much for me, it's amazing. It literally stops me from feeling crazy and doing crazy things. It will be awhile before I try to decrease that again.

So, now it is Thursday morning and I have the whole day ahead of me. I don't have any therapy classes and officially today is cleaning day. Much to my amazement, there's hardly any dog hair on the floor. It seems that Jesker isn't shedding much right now, but I'll have to vacuum anyway just for the dust and the dirt. I'll have to wash his blanket also, just in case one of the cats has brought home any fleas. I think we're okay, but you never know.

It will be fun to do chores in sets of threes again and try to keep coming up with three different things to do. Not that I think I'll run out of them. There's always extra work when the regular work is done and the eternal cobwebs, now that the spiders are coming in through the open windows. No, we have no screens in front of the windows here. Every kind of bug can just enter. Luckily, no really scary ones live here.

It was so hot outside when I went to walk Jesker at 6 pm yesterday. The heat just hit me like a hot air dryer when I stepped out the front door. It had only rained in the morning, but luckily, a little bit later, it started to rain very hard for a short time. It came down in buckets, so it cooled things off for awhile, but in the apartment it is still 24 degrees Celsius.

Now I'm off to read some much neglected blogs, so I wish you a good day with all that brings with it.

Ciao...

What's she doing?

I have been doing sets of three chores all day and got a bunch of things done and one thing I have now is a very clean bedroom. I'm going to do another set of three chores after I finish this post, but I don't know yet what I'm going to do. There are a number of things I could do. I'll take my pick.

Oh yes, I vacuumed the whole apartment. You know how much I hate vacuuming because of the noise and I'm always afraid that I will not hear the doorbell or the telephone or a burglar sneaking up behind me.

Well, this time I turned on the music rather loud to the point that I could still hear it when the vacuum cleaner was on and I thought that if I could hear that, I could hear anything, and suddenly I wasn't so bothered anymore. There is some twisted logic in there somewhere, there really is. I could recognize which song Amy Winehouse was singing and all was right with the world. See, that's all I need to do, is listen to Amy Winehouse.

I also got rid of most of the cobwebs, but just see some that I missed, so I need to do those next.

The vacuum cleaner wasn't working good enough and I couldn't figure out why, because the bag wasn't nearly full yet, but a little bit of investigation led to a blockage right in the hose where it enters the vacuum cleaner. There was quite a bit of dog hair there and I pulled it all out and, my God, you wouldn't believe the difference it made in suction power. I had been vacuuming at half the power for the last couple of times that I used it thinking it was all in my imagination.

Well, you do start to doubt yourself when you don't initially see anything wrong, but I should have looked better. I'm not a helpless female, after all, am I? Take that thing apart and have a good look!

Sitting here I already see four things I can do and they are all little things, so I really should think of two more. Holy cow! I'm becoming obsessed with the numbers three and six and nine etc. Maybe I will become an obsessive compulsive person. I wonder if there is a cure? Maybe I will have to do things by fours. Either way I'm screwed. I'll develop strange neuroses and rituals involving certain numbers and have to do things a number of times or else tragedy will strike.

Well, better not think of that.

I'm drinking decaf and it isn't doing a thing for me. As a matter of fact, it is making me sleepy and I think now is not a good time to take a nap. I think that in a fairly short time I'll switch to regular coffee again.

I have to take Jesker to the vet, because he has been snorting and sneezing, not a lot, but some, and his eye is turning red again. A few days after I run out of antibiotic ointment his eye turns bad again. Just when it had looked really good. He'll be thrilled to go there.

Am I hooked on blogging? Well, the answer to that would be a definite yes, but now I don't feel so bad about it because of the chores. I am going to end this post, though, and tackle a few things now before I lose my stride.

Have a good evening, we're having a rainy one here, but I did ask for rain, didn't I? Be careful what you wish for.

Ciao...

A Good Nap and Some Help.

The day has gone by quickly in spite of the fact that it didn't feel like it was going to be a good day. I was on a low burner and couldn't quite get my act together until my sister called me to ask if I wanted to go for a walk with the dogs. That was enough motivation for me to get dressed, although not made up, but who cares, and I met her at her house. We walked a ways into the neighborhood until we came to an outside path were there was lots of greenery and places for the dogs to mark each other's spots by turns.

I kept the Überhund on the leash, because he is kind of confused nowadays and I don't trust him not to go walking off and not to come back because he is with his head in the clouds. As far as the length of the roll out leash permitted, he was very busy, though, and ran from one side of the path to the other, being very occupied with the various smells of other dogs that had been there.

The trees and the shrubbery are getting green buds and some of them are quite far along in the process, so we got a good look at that. Walking back into the neighborhood, we saw greenery on some of the hedges and a giant weeping willow tree covered in new green leaves. It was a beauty.

When we got to the field, I let the Überhund off the leash and he sauntered ahead very merrily, while he kept looking around to see if I was coming along.We walked past the school and he is supposed to wait at the corner, but he kept right on going. I called him, but he turned a deaf ear. I quickly ran after him, but he started running too and I finally caught up with him at the next corner before he had to cross the street. So he was definitely being naughty. When we got home, he was worn out and could not even eat his Bonzo bone, but laid down with it for half an hour before he could eat it.

I looked at the state of my apartment and could not for the life of me figure out how I was going to make it look good again. It was the vacuuming that I had to do that was causing me the most amount of grief and it was a job that I just could not handle. So, I called in the relief troops.

Actually, I called the Exfactor and asked him if he would vacuum for me, because then everything else would be so much easier. He said, of course, and that he would be here later in the afternoon. Which was a good thing, because just then the electricity went off and I remembered a letter I had gotten that had told me that the electricity would be off until 3:30 PM.

Not being able to do anything, I decided to take a nap and I slept until 3:30 shortly after which the electricity came on again and the Exfactor arrived. He tore through the apartment with the vacuum cleaner and had the whole thing looking great in the shortest amount of time. I was ever so grateful. It was a load of my mind. To top it all off, he had brought me a container of my favorite dessert and told me to call him whenever I needed any help. I will take him up on that.

I am not quite awake yet, but in 10 minutes I need to take my medicines and walk the dog. Now that I know what an escape artist he is, I will never let him off the leash again.

Here are some photographs that the Exfactor took this afternoon when he was on a bike ride.



Ciao...