It's in the middle of the night and, because I went to bed very early, I've already slept several hours before I woke up and was wide awake again. That, of course, is usual for me. As morning approaches I will get tired and go back to bed to sleep some more and I do have the luxury to do that. I'm completely aware of how lucky I am. I do like this schedule and enjoy being awake in the middle of the night and sleeping in the morning. That seems to be the rhythm that suits me.
I was asleep with both Tyke and Gandhi on the bed, because it seems that the extra blanket I put on it is just what they desired. It is soft and comfortable for them to lie on and it is warmer than the relatively cool duvet cover. They both huddle close to me as if we live in the Arctic and we are sleeping through the coldest possible night. It really doesn't get that cold in here, I never do turn the thermostat that low. Tyke is colder because he got his fur trimmed and he does lie closer to me to profit from my body's warmth.
Yesterday was a day of chores and walking Tyke. I'm not finished with the chores and got some of them only halfway done. I will have to do the other half today. I did check my bank account balance and saw how solvent I was. I opened all the mail and much to my relief most of it turned out to be very unimportant. You can't tell that by looking at the envelopes. I always expect the worst and then it usually turns out to not be so bad, but there is much anticipation ahead of time. It's very enjoyable when I can put most of the paperwork in the recyclable bin.
It's very enjoyable to pass the time with more or less insignificant things. I don't feel a great need to perform out of the ordinary deeds. I'm glad when the day goes by as smoothly as possible and all the elements are as uncomplicated as can be. I like solving problems, but I don't like for them to be huge. I do like their size to be of human proportion and manageable. Other people's psychological complications I am usually able to deal with very well. I seem to have a good understanding of them and have an answer too. I usually come up with some solution. My own psyche is becoming clearer to me, especially now that I'm cutting down on my medicines. It's amazing what difference that makes in my ability to view myself. I'm less complicated than I thought I was.
I do believe that everybody should create their own myth to live by and that you should not believe in other people's myths. If you make up your own, you can fill it with elements that are true about you and not about other people. You have to make up the story about yourself based on how it really is and then live accordingly. If you're completely honest with yourself, you will know what your own truths are and not try to maintain those of other people. Believing in other people's myths and truths will set you on the wrong path and it will lead to frustration and sadness. They won't fit you and you will be uncomfortable with them. Many people go burdened by mistaken beliefs about themselves.
Having said that, I do hope I don't forget my own advice two months from now when the leaves come back on the trees, because that can be a time of turmoil for me. I'll have to go back and reread my own blog posts. In times of sanity I can be very wise, only to forget everything I've said when I go off course. Hopefully, this spring things will be different. I will be off a lot of my medication and that may make a difference. I don't know how much the pills have influenced my moods. It may have been for the worse. We'll see.
I hope you'll all have a good morning when you wake up, or a good night when you go to sleep, whichever applies to you.