Sunday, July 08, 2012

Withdrawing...

I have had some very tough days and I don't know if they are over yet. I am sitting here now in the peacefulness of the early morning with a cup of coffee and things seem to be bettter but it can be a temporary situation and the storm may pick up again any moment. I will take advantage of this quiet time and put down my thoughts.

Since I quit the anti-psychotics completely I have had withdrawal symptoms that have been most unpleasant. What I felt more than anything was wave after wave of stress and anxiety which made me wish very often that I was taking something stronger than the Valerian tablets to help me relax.

The stress and anxiety aren't triggered by any outside events because I keep everything very free of triggers. It is a process that takes place inside of me. On top of that, I've not been sleeping well and I'm sure that's not helping the situation.

I can't say anything about life without anti-psychotics because this is not a reflection of it. This is just some odd chemical reaction in my brain I am going through. 

I do use my willpower and strength of mind to not lose the plot completely. I am not completely at the mercy of this process that's taking place. I feel that if I stay as calm and collected as possible, I can see it through. A sheer amount of stubborness does come into play also.

I will let you know what happens next.

8 comments:

Rob-bear said...

Sorry that you are going through all this, Irene. But those mediations have been part of your life for quite a while, so I suspect it will be a while before you are accustomed to living without those drugs.

A focused mind and some stubbornness (as you call it) will be very helpful in this situation.

Blessings and Bear hugs.

CorvusCorax12 said...

sending good thoughts your way too ♥

Connie Rose said...

I'm so sorry this is being such a painful and difficult process for you. You have great courage to be undertaking such an enormous challenge. I hope it works out the way you want it to. Much love. xox

Maggie May said...

You are an incredibly strong person. You will get through it but I wish it was easier.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Wisewebwoman said...

I wish you could lodge some of that temporarily with me, it must be so very difficult for you.

You are strong and capable and have come through so much.

You will get through this.

Hugs

XO
WWW

Pearl said...

I am wishing you the very best...

Pearl

CorvusCorax12 said...

thinking of you ♥

CorvusCorax12 said...

Hope you are OK ♥