Finding inspiration...

Frankly, I've looked high and low for inspiration and I haven't found any yet but maybe I'll stumble over it when I've finished this cup of coffee. Anything is possible after all. What I want to write about may be staring me right in the face and I may be overlooking it completely. It may be as simple as not looking good enough. Or not having had enough coffee yet. That could be the case also. I'll quickly finish this cup. I just mustn't dribble. 

The Exfactor called me a while ago to ask me what color I wanted my coffeemaker in. He was at the Kijkshop getting ready to buy one at a very good price. He will deliver it to me on Friday and then I will be able to make regular coffee again and my heart will soar. I hope I still remember how to make it correctly and haven't lost the skill. I do still have the coffee. I have two full packages ready to use on the kitchen shelf. Isn't that utterly convenient?

The dog was sitiing beside me begging for an apple. At least I think that's what he wanted. He usually does at this time of the afternoon. He remembers they are in the refrigerator and gets a hunkering for them. He patiently sits beside me in the kitchen while I peel one for him and then goes to the living room to eat it. He always goes to look at the peel on the counter afterwards but it's too far away for him to get it. I don't think he should be ingesting any pesticides. Isn't he cute, though? Him and his apples. 

The wind from the south has picked up and is blowing dry leaves through the street rapidly. It looks like autumn out there. It makes me feel cold just watching it. I feel that I should go and put my winter clothes on. Sometimes the weather is beautiful at this time of year but we sure didn't get lucky this time. It was supposed to have rained today too but it never did, thank goodness. I still have to go out and walk the dog and I don't want my nearly perfect hairdo to get ruined. 

My cup of coffee is empty and I'm out of inspiration and never really found it. As a result, it's not much of a post but what the heck. I've got to take my medicines and take the dog for a walk. I think he's more than ready to go. I'm going to miss watching the 6 o'clock news again but lately I've been very badly informed. I'm being a bad citizen of the world. 

Have a good evening you all. 

Ciao,

Irene

Waiting for inspiration...

I'm sitting here in the middle of the night with my cup of coffee and my cigarettes waiting for inspiration to hit me so I can write a brilliant post. So far all I can come up with is that my pajama bottoms are so big that they fall down whenever I stand up or walk around. But that's just trivial information and it's not going to keep you enthralled for a long time. I'll have to do better than that. Besides, I mostly sit or lie down in bed when I wear them so it's not much of a problem at all. 

The dog woke me up because he was obviously bored being by himself in the dark. He is now sound asleep on the coffee table and I haven't done a thing for him but get up. All he wanted was my company. He didn't even have to go out back for a piddle. I wouldn't have minded standing by the back door in the cool night air and maybe I'll get the opportunity later. It is always nice to cool off and look at the starry sky. The little piece of it I see anyway. 

The cat is the cat. She doesn't care much what I do as long as she gets to lie on top of me or in my vicinity. All I have to make sure of is that her bowls are filled with kibbles and milk. That's easily done because they stand on the kitchen counter and are not quickly overlooked. A cat is the easiest animal to look after. I do have to handle her with care. She's delicate.

It's going to be another warm day today. There will be nothing but bright sunshine. It won't get cooler until the middle of next week. We'll have more normal temperatures for the time of year then. I've enjoyed the sunshine, but I haven't enjoyed the heat all that much. It's wasted on me. I'm a cool weather person. A true Northern European.

I've got a new domestic help for Fridays and she's going to be permanent. Luckily, she's a very nice woman and she's thorough. We got along well and enjoyed each other's company. Now I won't have to deal with having a different person here every time I turn around which was bothersome and stressful. Especially if it was a man who didn't do his job well. Men don't know how to clean and like to talk a lot. They are a haphazard bunch. Spare me a man as a domestic help. 

I suppose that's all I've got to blog about really. The brilliance of this post is not that clear. In fact, it's hard to find. I won't worry about it if you won't. 

I hope you're all having a good night or a good day, whichever applies to you. 

Ciao,

Nora

Without mentioning the obvious...

Right, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted by life? It feels like it's been a long time since I was here, while it has only really been two days. So, that's no time at all. You mustn't think that I've got anything special to share either, because I don't. There's been no excitement here at all.

The only things I've got to report is that yesterday was Remembrance Day and today is Liberation Day, but neither of these days make hardly any impact on my life at all, except that I observed two minutes of silence yesterday evening while watching the memorial ceremony on television. That was my contribution to the activities.

You mustn't think that I don't care, because I do. It's just that there's been no opportunity for me to join in on any of the festivities that are organized around town. I've been keeping to myself and you certainly don't seek out company when you keep to yourself. It's part of my agoraphobia. It wouldn't be so bad if I had someone to go with me. Maybe I have a social phobia. I was awfully shy when I was a kid. I hide it behind a lot of bravery now, but the shyness comes seeping out all over the place. I'm not at all a brave person, really.

My favorite thing to do in the afternoon is to take a nap. I wait for my medicines to start working and go to bed where I lie listening to the radio until I drift off for a few hours. I think it's the best time of the day. Any time spent sleeping is. It's the safest activity I can think of.  I wouldn't mind being asleep more often. Of course, you do get done sleeping at a certain point. You've just done enough of it and aren't tired anymore. That's the sad part of that.

I don't even like being awake in the middle of the night that much anymore. I'd rather be asleep, but I don't manage that yet. I was up last night and tried to write a post, but I wasn't able to do it. I wasn't in the right frame of mind and deleted everything I did try to write. They were all futile attempts. I don't think I have to be inspired every time I sit down to write. I think it's okay if sometimes nothing comes of it. I don't see it as a literary failure. 

I said I was rudely interrupted by life, but of course I'm not at all. Life doesn't interrupt me in the least. The only movements that happen in my existence are the unexpected ebbs and flows that suddenly appear because of the fickleness of my moods. They interrupt me, life doesn't at all. Life is a smooth pond in which now and then a ripple appears. It is something completely different from what happens in my psyche. 

I think I've written enough nonsense. It's time for me to walk the dog. He's sitting here looking longingly at me with his big brown eyes.

Have a good evening you all. 

Ciao,

Nora

Instinctively...

 

I always feel that whatever I write here has to be very inspirational.  That I can't just write about run of the mill matters here and ordinary things that occur in my day to day life. God only knows where I got such an idea. It's not as if this blog is loftier than my other blogs, so I shouldn't treat it that way or try to write  that way, otherwise I may get intimidated and develop writer's block and that won't do at all. I need to take this blog down a notch or two and make  it a reflection of how I really am and how I really think and not some blown up literary attempt at pretty prose. Having said that, I will now get down to business and write something plain and ordinary.

I've already slept tonight. I went to bed early, after I watched the eight o'clock news and found out about the latest developments in Tunisia, but I woke up after several hours and was wide awake again. The time it takes my 'falling asleep' pill to stop working. Now I have to wait for real sleep to hit me again. That will be some time towards the morning. In the meantime, I've had a cup of coffee and I'm now drinking a glass of milk, which is thirst quenching, but is making me feel cold. I'd better drink a glass of warm milk or a cup of hot chocolate, but the latter always makes me feel very full, as if I've eaten a meal. My gastric band can't handle anything substantial. 

I have to find some ways to amuse myself tonight and there are several possibilities. Looking for good templates is one of them. That's always a sport that I don't tire of. I can spend a long time looking for the right one. I'm also going to be looking for interesting bits of writing for the website Six Sentences, which I recently have gotten a renewed interest for. It makes me pay attention to the quality of things I write and have written. I can also go in search of images to accompany these blog posts. I do use them up quickly, but there are always more to find. I'll be looking for especially colorful ones as opposed to the black and white ones that I usually post. A body does want something different every once in a while. 

It's in the middle of the night now and I feel very good. It's so nice to sit here in the semi dark all be myself and to know that the world around me is asleep. It's not raining outside and merely cloudy. It's not all that cold either. I was standing by the back door earlier and it was very doable while I waited for Tyke to finish getting done with his business. He is a slowpoke and does take his time, unless I pretend to walk away and leave him there, but then he may start to bark and I can't have that late at night. It would upset the night rest of my neighbors.I do have one especially delicate neighbor who will let me know that he's not pleased.

I must be off to do other things now. I have dawdled long enough. It's taken me forever to write this little bitty post. I have made cigarettes in the meantime and checked my facebook account. Sometimes it's hard to stick to the job at hand. There are also emails to answer. I've seen those come in, but have resisted reading them. I do have some self control. I've got to wait for it to become morning so that I can go back to bed. It will be with much joy that I do. I will be more than ready to.

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

 

For four hours...

I slept on the sofa for four hours tonight. This was after I walked the dog and put out the trash and decided that I was so tired that I could not do another thing, despite my intentions to shower and wash my hair and do some ironing. I was too pooped to do any of those things and like a broken woman put on some leggings and a tank top and laid down on the sofa and went to sleep. Everything else would have to wait.

For some strange reason, I woke up at 11 pm, when I easily could have kept right on sleeping and I got up to take my medicines and make a cup of decaf and some more cigarettes. I checked my emails and answered those and not feeling sufficiently tired yet, I decided to start writing this post, which I may have too abandon if my sleeping pill starts to work. We'll see where the ship strands.

I seriously felt like having something sweet to eat tonight, or maybe chocolate even, but I didn't have anything like it in the apartment and the stores were closed. I did have a jar of diet jam and I had a couple of spoons full of that, although I thought it tasted to sugary. It wasn't tart enough. Then I drank a big glass of juice hoping that would take care of my craving, but it didn't really, so I called my sister to find out if she had any cookies, but her boyfriend from Milan was there and I was too embarrassed to ask. So, I am basically left with a craving for chocolate chip cookies and I don't have any.

I did just find a piece of leftover Brie in the refrigerator and I ate that and that took care of my feeling of hunger. It wasn't the overripe cheese the Exfactor had bought and I'm sure glad I found it, because it turned out that I needed to eat. And here I thought I was just craving sweets. Well goodness, I'm starting to feel like a human being again.

If this is going to be a repeat of last night, I have less chores to do, I mean, I can't wash windows in the middle of the night, can I? I can do the ironing and clean up my closet, but there will be no sweeping and mopping the floors. I can hunt for cobwebs and wash woodwork and clean out the refrigerator, though. I just hope I have enough cleaning liquid left. I'll have to make it last. I'll use spit if I have to or ear wax to polish with. Ha, ha.

If I had my own little studio set up now, I could be producing masterworks! Collages avant lettres, sculptures that would blow your mind away, doodles that would dazzle you with their intricacies. Yes,I would produce it all, working during the night, inspired by the silence around me, by the solitude of the moonlight, maybe the sound of the gentle rain.

Okay, don't get carried away with yourself, stay grounded, a woman may have her head in the clouds, but she needs her feet firmly planted on the ground, even if it is a mountain. or a path in the garden of Eden.

I plan to be an artist, although in my own humble way I already am. It will do me good to create when the mood strikes me and to be able to walk away from it when it does not. To close the door on it and open it again when I an ready and to sit and ponder over the work, which I now don't get a chance to. To play with the different elements and to see how things can be combined and subtracted. How paints can be combined and pastels added to them and natural elements. How you catch the eye and keep it enthralled. So much and so much more. I feel I'm just at the beginning of a long journey with many stops along the way. Points of achievement that will be milestones.


Jesker has completely settled in for the night, but this afternoon he very urgently wanted to go out back and, of course, what was laying there on the doormat? A meatball! I wonder if Toby brings them as gifts to Jesker, because he does not eat them himself.

Toby and Gandhi are still on the kitchen counter all the time trying to get food out of pouches from me, but it is to no avail and they have to eat their very good kibbles, which they do too. I've stopped giving them milk, because they would drink a little bit and the rest would get sour and I had to throw it away. So now it's just plain water for them, which Toby likes to drink from the faucet.

Jesker is back to eating his normal portions of food, so he probably just had a stomach bug or something for a while.

I suppose I will keep you updated about my night, just like I did last night, it helps me get through the night also if I get to write these missives. They are my life lines while I'm here on my own.

Sleep tight you all, if it's that time for you.

Ciao...