Another early morning post.

I woke up to a cracking sound and found out that Tyke was demolishing my plastic cigarette case that I had left lying on the bookcase by my bed. I suppose he got bored during the night and decided to give that a go. When I called him on it, he gave me a very innocent look and wagged his tail, as if to say, "I'm just a cute little puppy." A while later I found him gnawing on a huge bone that I had bought for Jesker one time, but that Jesker had showed no interest in. Tyke thought he'd died and gone to heaven and was afraid I was going to take that away from him too. I have no idea where he found it, but I wish he'd found it before he started on my cigarette case. He is now very sweetly asleep by my feet, worn out from this night's adventures.

I slept in my bed after I safeguarded the bedroom, or so I thought. It was pleasant to sleep in my bed, because there's a little bit more room than there is on the sofa, but I didn't sleep longer there than I do on the sofa. Doubtlessly that was because of Tyke's interruption. I have to buy another one of those really big bones and see if that will keep him happy for the night.

I'm trying to read my book, "The Pilot's Wife." I like it so far, but I manage to fall asleep after reading just 10 pages or so, or when Tyke decides to lie down on top of it for some quality time together. When I slept on the sofa, I didn't read at all, but fell asleep with the TV on. I need to get some of my old routine back now that the Olympics are over and I don't have to watch sport's events at all hours of the night.

I managed to do laundry last night. I had one load of laundry in the machine that I had to hang up and dry and it consisted of tops and sweaters and leggings. I hung up the sweaters to dry on hangers on the shower curtain rail and pulled most of the wrinkles out. Hopefully I don't have to iron them when they are dry. I had a dry load of sheets and towels to fold and one load of laundry to put in the machine and another load to put in today or as soon as there is room on the drying rack. I can't hang any laundry outside, because there's rain and wet snow predicted. That is the problem of trying to get laundry done in the wintertime. It takes forever to get it dry and it slows down the rate at which you can get it done. That's when I really wish for a tumble dryer.

I have a sink full of dishes to do that accumulate while I'm not looking. Suddenly they are there, stacked up on the kitchen counter, and I don't know where they came from. You'd think I'd hardly use a dish, living on my own. There are always many coffee cups and teaspoons and the lack of clean ones makes me realize that I need to do the dishes. I would also very much like a compact dishwasher. Just big enough for a one person household. You see how I need my conveniences. I'm all for making my life as easy as possible, but then I was used to having these things and I feel rather primitive having to do without them. I'll never get used to that. That equally goes for going grocery shopping without the convenience of a car.

I'm sitting here in my big bathrobe and the thermometer was set at 20C, but it's cold in here, so I've just turned it up higher. I don't think I'm supposed to sit here with cold hands and shiver. The radiator next to me is nice and hot now and I can feel the warmth emanating from it. It's very pleasant and like sitting by a hot stove. It does make me wish for a fireplace and a crackling wood fire.

Since today is Saturday, I will take advantage of the "free" day and do odd jobs around the apartment. I will try and not do anything structured and make it look like real work. I will just do whatever pops into my head. Pleasure first, drudgery last. I hope I will be able to go for walks with Tyke in spite of the rain that is predicted. Hopefully they will only be showers and not non-stop drizzle and down pours. It's not going to be very warm and there will be a cold wind blowing from the north east. That's from the cold part of the world, above Russia. It is my most sincere wish that the weather forecasters totally get it wrong today. I will have to wear an extra top under my sweater. At least my footwear will be good.

I will feed Tyke and get dressed and take my medicines and then take Tyke for a walk before the weather turns bad. It is still dry now and there's no wind yet. The world is very silent out there. I don't hear a thing. Silence is a very valuable commodity. I can't get enough of it.

Have a nice day. I hope your weather will be good.

Ciao,
Nora

It's working well!

I've decided not to watch any Olympics this evening, but instead to catch up on my blog reading, which I was very behind on. I'll get my pajamas on in a while and make myself comfortable on the sofa and watch some Olympics then. They are broadcast all night because of the time difference. I don't know what I'm going to do when the Olympics are over. Life will be so boring when everything gets back to normal. Well, maybe not. There was life before the Olympics, after all, and somehow I managed. I know I read a lot more books then.

I'm taking my medicines for my airway infection and I must say that the codeine works very well. I'm allowed to take it 4 times a day and it completely takes away the pain, making it a lot easier to breathe, allowing me to do things as if there is hardly anything the matter with me. So, needless to say, I did some chores today.

First I cleaned up that torn bag of cat litter. I was a ten kilo bag and when I tried to pick it up, the bottom fell out and all the cat litter dropped on the ground. I swept it all up and put it in a different bag and then swept the whole room which was covered in dog hair and debris from outside that the cats and the dogs had tracked in and other dust and soil. It hadn't been properly cleaned in a while and it is where the back door is, so you can imagine what it looked like. It looked like the great outdoors.

Since that was done so successfully, and since I was hardly out of breath, I vacuumed the apartment next. I didn't rush the job, but did it nice and easy, as if I had all the time in the world, which I did. I vacuumed up the last of Jesker's hair that was stuck beneath the furniture and now that is all gone. Tyke doesn't shed any hair. His fur is thick and curly, but I have yet to find any laying around.

Now I have to mop the floors, which is going to be a lot of work, so I saved that job for another day. I have a sponge mop and I think it is more work than a rag mop, though I am still undecided which of the two I like better. I know I will feel a lot happier once the floors are clean, because they are mucky now. I do want to pick the right moment to clean them, when I have a lot of energy and I know I can get the job done. I will do them in stages and take little breaks in between.

My nose is still plugged up and I can't blow it now. Everything is stuck. It causes me to talk funny. My throat is slighty sore and hoarse, and my chest is rattly, but it doesn't hurt thanks to the codeine. I know that in a few days I will feel a lot better. I'm already glad that I'm able to do chores so much easier and that I'm not just lying on the sofa being sick. That's a great relief to me.

Lately I've been having regular crises over the value of the purpose of my existence. I very much miss having a reason to go on living for other than Tyke, and before that it was Jesker. I think of how tough it has been to survive this past winter and how very much I don't want to have another winter like it and that I'm not happy with the prospect that I'm going to have winters like that for the rest of my life. I wonder about the true purpose of my life and what it really is all about and I don't see much reason for it, other than to just get up in the morning and somehow make the best of it until I go to sleep. It doesn't seem like a very fruitful and useful life.

I wish there were an option to step out of your life when you think it has been enough. That you've lived the life you've wanted to live and that you don't see much purpose in going on living. When the negatives of life outweigh the positives and there's not enough happiness left in it. I find myself in that position now and I very gladly would have followed Jesker into his eternal sleep. I'm quite envious of him to have died such a peaceful death. Just one little injection of sleep medication is all it took.

Well, that's all I have to say about the subject for now. I'm sure I'll talk more about it later. It's open for discussion.

Ciao,
Nora

The flu, part two.

I just woke up from a long afternoon nap on the sofa and it seems to have done me some good, except that I've woken up with a very sore throat, but I can live with that. I do feel like eating a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and I don't have any of that handy, so that is kind of sad. I'm drinking a cup of coffee now and will have a cold glass of milk next. I just didn't want to neglect my caffeine intake. I'm still plugged up and it feels like there's an elephant sitting on my chest and I generally feel like a wet dishrag, but I do feel a bit better. I think that nap was good for me and helped me feel better.

I'm afraid that Tyke is becoming awfully bored with me, because except for cuddling and petting him, I'm not much fun to him right now. I don't do anything interesting, because I just don't have the power to. It wears me out to do anything exhausting. He has his toys and Gandhi and they do play together and this morning they were galloping through the apartment like half broke horses. I was afraid of the furniture getting smashed. This was after I caught him chewing on the remote control of the TV, which now only partially works. Oh well... Every once in a while he drags one of my shoes out and I've been able to catch him on time every time. So there are no casualties there yet.

The weather was great today, but, of course, I didn't get to enjoy it. It was 10 degrees Celsius outside and that's practically springtime weather. I did stand by the back door on occasion when I let Tyke out back and felt how nice it was. I do dare think that winter is over now and that we are on our way to spring.

In the meantime, I keep watching the Olympics and have the TV tuned to it almost non stop. I watch whatever they show, even ice hockey. In a half delirium I watch Canada play Russia and I can't keep track of where the puck is, because it moves so quickly across the ice. What I really like to watch is the new sport called Ski Cross. That's so much fun. I could watch that for hours. I do fall asleep while watching the TV and wake up at odd hours, but it doesn't matter if it's night or day, I just sleep whenever, though I do sleep more at night, I think. It must be habit.

While all of this is going on, our government has fallen and we will have new elections on June the 9th. We're all very curious to see which parties are now going to gain the most followers and the most votes. The city council elections are in March and will be a good reflection of the political climate. Of course, political campaigning is going on like crazy. It started the minute the government fell. Everybody climbed on their platform and soapbox quickly. I've never heard such a bunch of nonsense being propagated. Where in the world do they get their screwed up ideas? They must be desperate to talk in sound bites to get on TV and not think about what they're saying. There are many loads of bullshit heard, mostly pronounced by semi-muscular he-man lilliputians. I am glad, though, that I get to vote for the party of my choice twice. Voting is such a privilege.

The Exfactor is coming here tomorrow to get some groceries for me and to walk Tyke and to help me clean up the apartment a bit. Well, help me? I won't do much. My sister is so sweet. She came by with two potted hyacinths today because I am sick. I've set them on the windowsill and will watch them grow and bloom.

Have a great evening! I've got to watch the Olympics.

Ciao,
Nora

In the middle of the night again.

I fell asleep on the sofa at about, oh, I don't know, 9 pm or something like that, and I just woke up again and find myself temporarily wide awake. There is nothing of interest on the Olympics right now (cross country - classic style), so I have to entertain myself in an other way. Well, I'll be darned if there wasn't that computer sitting right there waiting for me to use it. It's true that the computer has been my best friend many times in the many nights that I've found myself awake, but you know how I feel about them now, so it is with a certain amount of wariness that I turned it on and started writing. I don't want to be seduced by its charms and suddenly be strangled by it in a choke hold of anxiety and stress. I'll just assume it's not going to happen and merrily go on my way. I can't write with the idea that I'll be doomed half way through this epistle.

So anyway, I took the cute little fur ball to the vet last night. Partly to get a little check up and make sure that everything was okay, but also to have him look at his eyes, because Tyke had surgery on his tear ducts prior to being put up for adoption. His lower eyelids had been red and his eyes had teared and I wanted the vet to look at the state of them.

To Tyke it was a whole new adventure and he checked out every corner of the waiting room and was very curious about all the people who came in with their animals who all turned out to be cats in baskets, so there was not one interesting dog to interact with. Suddenly he spotted a huge poster of a cat's head on the wall and he started barking at it very loud as if he was scared of it, so I walked him over to it to get a better look. He approached it with much trepidation.

The vet checked him over well and looked at his eyes and said that he had especially droopy eyes and that they were a little bit inflamed and gave me a tube of antibiotic ointment to be applied twice a day. I got the impression that the vet really liked him and thought he was a good dog. He gave him a denta stick as a treat, which Tyke appreciated very much.

I asked him about having Tyke neutered and he said, why would you want to do a thing like that? I told him that he kept pestering Gandhi all day long and he said not to worry about it, that it was just part of his youthful exuberance and that he would outgrow it soon enough. He said he did not like to neuter cocker spaniels unless it was absolutely necessary, because they tend to get fat and he had some very overweight ones in his practice. He said that Tyke was not an aggressive dog and that he really didn't see the need for it at this point. So, I'll take his word for it, because he knows best in the end after all. Tyke gets to keep his family jewels.

I have been walking Tyke on a short leash, which has been an exercise in frustration, because he nearly pulls my arm out of my socket and he doesn't have any room to wander from one spot to the next and really check things out. Yesterday I started walking him on the roll out leash and that is so much better. He has room to explore his surroundings and is not constantly pulling at the leash and he is getting more exercise, because he is doing a lot more running around. I don't constantly have to suddenly stop and go and have my arm dislocated. It is a much better system and I can reel him in if I need to. I always had Jesker on that leash and I don't know why I didn't put Tyke on it right away. He enjoys it a lot en generally goes in the right direction. Ach, you live and learn.

I'm getting sleepy now and will head to bed after I eat something. I will watch a little bit of the Olympics and hope there's something interesting on. I like cross country - free style, I hope they show that and I hope there is some speed skating on.

Have yourself a wonderful night!

Ciao,
Nora

Good boy!

I think Tyke hasn't been naughty in three days now. He's done dumb things, such as knock over a glass of juice, but he hasn't been naughty and he's really listening to me. That makes me feel good, because I get the feeling that he's trying to please me, so when I say "no", that really means "no" to him. Of course, I have to knock on wood now just to be on the safe side, because he may get it into his head to do something any minute now and put me to shame. No, he's been great. He sleeps when I sleep and when I'm behind the computer he amuses himself with Gandhi or he sleeps beside me. Housebreaking is going well too, he's not having any accidents anymore and comes to warn me when he needs to go out. Of course, these warnings are very subtle and could be mistaken for signs of affection, but I'm tuned into him well enough to know what they mean and I'm usually right.

His favorite places to lie down are on top of the coffee table and the back of the sofa in front of the window where he can watch the world go by. I've removed just about everything from the coffee table, because he gets on it as easily as if it were any other piece of furniture and he walks onto it from the sofa as if he was walking onto the sidewalk. No amount of saying "no" has made any difference. I can say it 100 times and he will get on it 101 times. He has no sense of decorum. The back of the sofa is perfect for him, though, and I love to watch him watch life in the street. He likes it when I open the blinds in the morning and he can look outside, just like the cats, so I have a whole menagerie sitting there.

Okay, that's enough about that dog now. I do carry on, don't I? Goodness, you'd think I was the proud parent of a toddler.

Because I was out of money and out of supplies, my sister was a good sport and bought me some groceries today and I was much relieved. I should get my money tomorrow, but that is a day too late. It's because I spent so much money getting Tyke that I ran out this month. He was an unplanned expense. That happens sometimes and he was too special not to get out of the shelter. I couldn't leave him there. That cute little monster.

I took a long nap this afternoon and you would think that I'd be all done sleeping now, but I'm already looking forward to getting into my pajamas and bathrobe and getting ready for bed tonight. First I'm going to watch the Olympics on TV and see how badly the Dutch are doing with our one gold medal.

Have a good evening!

Ciao,
Nora.

Reluctancy!

Because I am reluctant to spend too much time on the computer for fear that it will take over my life again to the point that it will start stressing me out, I am also reluctant to write a post for fear that I will have nothing interesting to say and that whatever I write will be a boring repeat of the previous one, and that causes me to have writer's block and lose every little bit of imaginative thought I might have had in my head to begin with. Nevertheless, I have to start writing sooner or later, although I do start and then delete and I have done this four times today already, only to shut off the computer with some distaste and to go do something else entirely different.

Tyke is sleeping beside me on the floor where Jesker would have been laying normally had he still been here. It is amazing how one dog so easily took the place of another dog, though it was not that easy for me, but to Tyke that's the place he has to be. I'm teaching him now not to be so subservient when I pet him and to not go lie down on his back with his belly up. I want him to stand or sit when I pet him and he is catching on. I can't stand a subservient dog and I don't want him to show that behavior at all. I know it's normal for young dogs to do it, but I don't have to like it.

It's been slightly raining all afternoon causing the snow to start slowly melting, which is good. The temperatures are going to be higher during the day for the rest of the week, so the rest of the snow will melt and I'm glad about that, because this morning things were slippery. Tomorrow it's actually going to be 6C. Isn't that wonderful? Maybe this is a harbinger of Spring. I hope so. I want to go around and watch green thing pop up. I have to have a good look in people's gardens. Maybe I will discover the beginnings of Springtime there. If all goes according to plan with the snow disappearing, I can go for a longer walk tomorrow and have a good look around. I'll see if those snowdrops are still around and if there are any crocuses coming up yet. I must have faith in that Spring will be here soon. I hang up my hope on that idea. I know I will feel a lot better emotionally once it is here.

Because it's so important that I don't feel any stress, this is just going to be a very short post. I do want to watch the six o'clock news and then watch the Olympics. I will do that nice and cosy on the sofa. I do want to take Tyke for another walk, though, and I'll have to squeeze that in before I do anything else. He's so funny on the leash. Hurry up and stop and hurry up again. Sometimes I almost trip over him.

Have a good evening!

Ciao,
Nora

I really did...

I really did have the computer turned off for a long time today. As a matter of fact, I watched television and snuggled with Tyke and took a nap on the sofa, therefor I'm feeling very good right now. I've taken to sleeping under a red fleece blanket and it is very cozy and keeps especially my lower parts nice and warm. It's exactly what the doctor ordered and I go sound asleep in the shortest amount of time and stay asleep for quite a while too. That's because I'm so nice and warm. Before I would just lie on the sofa in my clothes with nothing to cover me and I would get chilly after a while and that normally woke me up. I never thought about pulling the red fleece blanket over me that has been lying on the armchair all this time and what better use for it?

Tyke likes it too and lies in the hollow behind my knees and makes himself a little nest there where he chews on his rawhide bone. There's usually at least one cat that comes and joins us, so we are quite a crowd on the sofa and it's not that big. It's a two and a half seater, so you can imagine the room we take up. If I lie with my head on the pillow of the armrest, my feet just make it to the end and then there is just room for some animals on the side and on top of me, but I prefer to lay on my side with my knees pulled up a bit. One cat can lie on my ribcage and one on my thigh if they are feeling very communicable. If not, it's just one cat and one dog and if Tyke gets too feisty, it's no cat at all.

I have been watching the Winter Olympics at night, or did I already tell you that? They are also on in the middle of the night, because of the time difference, so I watch them then too. Luckily, they are uninterrupted by commercials and we get to see a lot of what is going on, even the non-action of broken down ice cleaning machines. You're not supposed to call them Zambonis, because they're not. They're sending over a Zamboni to replace all the malfunctioning ones, none of which is a Zamboni, all the way from Calgary. Makes you think that's what they should have started with all along.

The Netherlands have only managed to win one medal so far and that was a gold one in speed skating, done by Sven Kramer in the 5 kilometer race. We all expected him to win and would have been mighty disappointed if he hadn't. He's our speed skating king right now and frankly, we expect a few more from him. No, the pressure on him is not big at all. Only the whole country is watching him and counting on him. No pressure whatsoever.

I watched ice dancing for couples and thought that was lovely, especially since the choice of music was so good. The couple from China that won the gold medal was very good, though I thought the couple from Germany that came in third was lovelier and their music was too. It was from the movie Out of Africa. Very beautiful and heartbreaking, if you've seen the movie and it calls up those associations for you. Streep and Redford, what a pair!

Now it's time to shut off the computer and get ready for bed. Sleep tight, all you people. It's still only the beginning of the week. We've got a long haul ahead of us yet.

Ciao,
Nora.