Cups of coffee and animals...

It's with some amount of relief that I sit here with a cup of coffee and a cigarette after having woken up from my afternoon nap. There was the possibility that I was going to be grouchy but luckily, I'm not. I was in a good enough mood right away and the coffee only helped me become more so. Sometimes things do turn out just right.

I usually have no idea what determines if I'm going to be in a good enough mood when I wake up from my naps. It all seems to be up to chance and if I got out on the right side of the bed. It seems to be more a matter of fate than anything else. I have no idea how much I can do about it myself and if I'm at all able to change that. 

I do know that I usually have to make a cup of coffee and that it's going to alter whatever mood I've got in a positive sense. Caffeine always works to my advantage. When in doubt about anything, have a cup of coffee. It will set straight whatever is wrong. And smoke a cigarette, unless you've kicked that habit already. 

I doubt I'll ever get off the caffeine or even want to. It serves its function so well for me. I'd be mad to stop drinking it, although I drink less of it now than I used to. When I still had my Senseo machine I drank many cups more. It was an addictive habit. I loved that creamy coffee and a cup was quickly made.

I can't go out in the cold night air at the moment because I'm waiting for a package to arrive. I don't know when that will be but I'll have to walk the dog later. He's still happily snoozing in the armchair, so he's okay for now. 

Both the animals have been treated for fleas and they've both stopped scratching. That flea repellent I got from the vet is powerful stuff.

The cat hardly protested. The Exfactor only had to hold her gently while I applied the flea drops. She really didn't react to it and went back to sleep afterwards as if nothing had happened. It should always be this easy. For some reason I thought it was going to be much harder than this. I have to treat them again next month. 

The dog located his tennis ball this afternoon. It was stuck underneath a storage unit in the spare bedroom. He was so happy to have it again. He hasn't lost track of it yet. It had been lost for quite a while and I had not thought of looking for it there. I thought it was just about time to get some new ones but the problem has been solved. 

Now, of course, I'll have to play many games of fetch. I'm in the perfect chair for it because I'm in a direct line to the bedroom. 

Have a good evening.

Ciao,

Nora

Not quite...

I'm trying to decide if it's okay to be not quite happy today. I've thought about it since I got up this morning, when I first tried to deny very bravely that there was anything wrong. I wanted to be upbeat and thought I could talk myself into it, but it was like rolling a stone uphill. Do I let go of the stone and watch it roll down hill? Yes, I think I will do that and stop wasting the effort of holding on to it.

Instead of letting that get me down, I got up and did my chores. I figured that was better to do than sitting around and moping about it. Once I've decided I'm in a not quite happy mood, I'm not going to get all miserable about that. I'll just let it be. It is like having a minor summer cold. It's only somewhat disconcerting.

I have some chores left to do and I'm in the mood to do them too. I'm actively looking for things to do. I want to prevent myself from hanging around with time on my hands. I've just folded a load of laundry and hung up another load to dry. I've put away some clothes that I'd worn this week and put some in the laundry, which will mean that soon I will have another load to wash.

Despite the fact that I had cleaned the Senseo machine with a bottle of vinegar, it has started to leak again and I discovered a big puddle of coffee underneath it that was starting to spread over the kitchen counter. I'll have to run another bottle of vinegar through it to see if I can fix the problem. I cleaned up that mess, but I think the Senseo machine has seen its best days. I'll have to look into replacing it.

I've changed my bed and look forward tonight to clean smelling sheets. It will be a pleasure as always. Tyke "helped" me change the bed. He does that by jumping on it every time my back is turned to get another pillow case or when I'm right in the middle of putting on the bottom sheet and then I can´t get the fitted corners around the mattress. He probably thinks that we´re playing some sort of game.

I have to sweep the floors and clean the insides of the living room windows. Then I have to clean up turds from the patio. There are a few laying there. It´s always my favorite job. I handle them with great care and respect.

Gandhi brought home a dead mouse this morning. She was planning on devouring it in the corner of the living room. I noticed it on time, because Tyke walked over there and watched her with a great deal of curiosity. I chased her outside and, luckily, she didn´t come back with it later. I don´t want to have to clean up a half devoured mouse. I never know what to do with them anyway and end up throwing them in the green bin, although I don´t think I´m supposed to.

Off I go to do the rest of my chores. It will be an afternoon well spent.

Have a good Sunday.

Ciao,
Nora

An indefinite time...

It seems that exercise is the best thing for a backache. I have been taking Tyke for longer walks today and as a result my back is hurting less and I have not taken any pain medication. Walking, not any huge distances, seems to loosen up my muscles and realign my upper body.

On the other hand, sitting behind the computer freezes me up and causes me to have pain after a while. So I have to limit my time behind it, but I definitely feel better today than I did yesterday. That certainly makes me feel good. And not taking the pain medication does too.

It's nice when a problem is solved so simply and quite by accident. I just kept walking this morning because it felt good and it was nice and cool outside. I had no reason to take a short cut and go home. Tyke enjoyed himself and I was fine.

The day has gone by amazingly fast, although I did take a nap on the sofa. That was necessary for my good mood. I felt my good humor slipping just a little bit and knew it was due to a shortage of sleep. When I woke up, everything was in fine working condition again.

The nicest thing is that I never have to worry about what my hair looks like after a nap. It's always in place and indestructible. All I really ever have to do is rub a hand over it to get the wee hairs on the side into the right direction. It's the easiest hairdo I've ever had. I don't know if it's the most flattering haircut I've ever had, I'm sure there are more feminine, but I'm beyond those things, just like I'm beyond make up. I wore some make up the other day, just to see what it was like, but I wiped it off in a very short amount of time. I felt like a Jezebel and hardly recognized myself. I'm so used to my face without it now.

I ran a bottle of vinegar through the Senseo machine. It was in bad need of it and I had neglected to do it on time. I don't know why. I had the vinegar in the kitchen cupboard and all I had to do was apply it. It's not as if it is the hardest job in the world. I seem to have a hard time doing things that are basically very uncomplicated. In my mind I remember them as being very bothersome, when in reality they are not at all.

I have a kick start problem. I need a good kick in the rear end sometimes. There's no one here to give me one.

I've started a new Inspector Linley thriller called "Careless in Red." I just started reading it, so I can't say much about it yet, but it's a hardbound book and it's hard to read in bed. I have to lay it down beside my pillow and lean my head on one hand to read it. That's how I fall asleep and I have a very sore wrist when I wake up in that position later in the night. With my sleepy head, I'm only aware of great discomfort and I try to get out of it as soon as I can, but seem unable to. I can't move my arm and my head and am stuck in that position and all I can think is what pain I'm in and why am I and why can't I do anything about it? It takes a while for the reality of the situation to sink in and for me to figure out which movements I have to make to get out of it.

I wore my watch for one day only, but that was long enough to give me an allergic reaction to the metal band. I don't know what it is made of, but there must be some metal in it that I don't tolerate. I have a rash around my left wrist that itches something awful. I have to try and not scratch it, but it's hard not to. It feels so good when it itches. Actually, I'd rather not wear a watch. It does feel confining and I only roughly need to know what time it is. I'll depend on the goodness of other people who wear one when I'm out and about.

I've got to stop sitting here now. I have to hang up the next load of laundry, because the first load is dry. One of these days I'll get it all done.

Have a good evening.

Ciao,
Nora

Awake again...

I slept for 5 hours and then I was awake again. I checked and double checked, but I really was. Those sleeping pills don't work for more than 4 hours, so I was lucky that I slept the extra hour. The first thing I did was make myself a cup of coffee. A mug, actually, and then I installed myself behind the computer to check my emails.

However, Tyke had other ideas and wanted to be walked, so I had to get dressed and take him for a spin around the field. The weather was lovely outside and I didn't need my jacket. I am still wearing my cowboy boots, though, but I think it's time I start looking at my summer shoes. At least if it keeps being this nice out. My little toe will be very relieved to have the pressure taken off it, especially if I wear sandals. I can't imagine not constantly wearing socks after all these months and hardly know what my feet look like. As long as I've still got 5 toes on each foot it will be all right.

Tyke is very happily ripping apart an old leather case that I wasn't using for anything any more. He does manage to find the most interesting things to play with and I constantly have to pick up all the little bits and pieces. He has no concept of what is a toy and what is not. Anything that is leather or plastic or paper is good for him, as long as he can rip it apart. I suppose he's practising ripping his prey apart. Oh, now he's got an empty cat food box out of the paper box. I wonder how he's going to handle that? He does have a very happy life. It's the little things that make it so.

Gandhi keeps trying to sit on my lap when I sit behind the computer, but she walks on the keyboard when she does, so I don't want her here. It's a repeat performance every time, though, and she doesn't give up trying, no matter how often I pick her up and set her on the dining table. It's great to be adored so, but the timing is all wrong. Of course, she likes everyone and will climb on any lap available. All she requires is comfort and love and she gets that by being a sweetheart.

Tyke's shredded that box in 5 minutes flat. It's unrecognisable now. I asked him, "Did you do that, did you make that mess?" and he very proudly wagged his tail. I told him. "You have to clean it up now too," but he acted like I was speaking in a foreign language. I can just see him now, picking up all those little pieces of cardboard and putting them into the trash. That would be the day. I'm afraid it's up to me to get it cleaned up. I pay the price for his pleasures. The things I do for that dog!

I just got my second mug of coffee. I moved up the spout of the Senseo machine and now it has stopped leaking, so I will keep it at that height. It's starting to be a machine with an instruction booklet, beside the one it came with, and it's showing signs of ageing. It does get used an awful lot, but still I'm just one person. I always want equipment to outlast me, but I don't realize that it doesn't and that I have to be ready for the day to replace it. I'm going to knock on wood and hope everything lasts for a while.

I'm going to take my medicines in a while and lie down on the sofa with my book. I think I can sleep a little bit more. Oh yes, I do have to clean up that mess first. I have to look on my bookcase and see if I have another book by Carol Shields. If not I have to get ready to pick out another book for my next read and order a new book by her at Bol.com. I do have to allow myself some little pleasures once in a while. A new paperback there is not expensive and doesn't break the budget.

All right then, off I go. I must make my day as pleasurable as possible. Reading and sleeping are nice ways to spend the time. So is blogging, of course, and I will do a lot of that this weekend. I will get through it in the best possible way. So far, so good.

Have a wonderful day. I will here, the sun is shining after all, though I wouldn't mind a little rain shower.

Ciao,

Nora

Saturday morning...

I seem to be averaging about 7.5 hours of sleep a night now and when I wake up, I feel good and not groggy and confused and in need of lots of coffee to get my act together. I'm pretty perky and ready to cuddle Tyke at first sight. He gets into bed with me and thinks we're going to settle down for some more sleep. I only leave him under that illusion for a short time.

The only thing I don't like, is that I have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I have no idea what time it is, because of no functioning alarm clock, so I have to go into the living room to see what time it is. I'm trying to replace the battery in one of my watches now, but I can't get the back off, which is very frustrating and which I hope the Exfactor will do for me when he gets here this morning. I'm sure there's a trick to it that I don't know about. At least that way I will know what time it is in the middle of the night, but I do need to get a new alarm clock, unless I keep waking up a 5:30 am.

So, I get up and first I feed Tyke and the cats and give them their milk, and then I make myself a cup of coffee. Like a regular human being who functions normally from the moment she gets up. It's nice to know that this is possible too. Sleeping 12 hours and waking up from a comatose situation wasn't all that great either. It took me so long to get my brain in functioning order.

That was sleeping like a teenager does and you can't talk to them when they get up after sleeping so long. I know I was not coherent when I was a teenager and I got up in the weekends, called out of bed by my mother to come partake of our communal coffee hour. My mother could not comprehend that I was not able to have a conversation. She expected us to say "Goodmorning" in our most cheerful voices. I grunted in my pajamas. "Don't mumble so," she would say and I grunted, "Goodmorning," in a foul mood.

The Exfactor was here and didn't know how to get the back off the watch either, but knows of a cheap place where they can and is going to take it there for me next week. He is a handy man to have around to do these kinds of jobs for me. It means again that I don't have to go downtown to take care of it. I still do have to get a new watchband for my other watch, but there's no real rush. I can do that when I am back to my old self and casually ride my bike into town.

Oh, I rode my bike to my SPN's office yesterday, It had been many months since I had been on it and it took me a while to get used to it. I kept wanting to ride it into the gutter and over debris in the road and over the sidewalk. That was on the way over there. I did much better on the way back, because I sang a song to myself, as my SPN had suggested I do, and that way I was more relaxed. It's just a matter of getting used to it again and feeling comfortable with it, like riding a car, which you never forget how. I could get in a car now and drive away with it comfortably, although I have not driven one for 16 years. It would have to be an automatic, though, I would have a little bit more problems with a stick shift.

I just cleaned the Senseo coffee maker with a bottle of vinear. It had been so long since I had done it, that it only gave 3/4 of a cup instead of a full one and it made a lot of protesting noises while it did so. It moaned and groaned and grumbled and sounded like it was going to fall apart in 20 different pieces. It has stopped making those noises now and is making full cups of coffee again. It's no longer dangerous to stand in the vicinity of it.

Allez, I have to pay bills. I think my money is in the bank now and I have to pay the vet bill amongst other things. Then I have to go to the tobacconist because I'm not sure I'm going to make it through the weekend with my supply. It's drizzling outside and 14C, so that's not too bad, but not warm enough to turn off the heater and open the windows. It's very comfortable in here now. I don't like being stoic and cold.

Have a nice day!

Ciao,
Nora

Languidly sitting in my chair.

I've got some sleeping left to do, but I'll do that later when I'm more in the mood for it. I woke up a while ago in my tiny bed, sleeping next to a certain person, and it was very warm and comfortable, but a little cramped. So I got up, ready to continue sleeping on the sofa, but I got waylaid by the computer and the Senseo machine and I thought I would just sit down in the quiet of the early morning and try to write a post, but I've got a problem.

How do you tell what an absolutely splendid and lovely time you're having without giving the other person's secrets away? Just speak for myself?

I'm having an absolutely splendid and lovely time and it is ever so much better and lovelier than the first time and so very much more intimate and affectionate. Speaking for myself, I can say this is love in all the best senses of the word. And I'm not worried, because I'm not hopelessly in love like a foolish teenager, but I love deeply like a grown up woman with all the knowledge I have of the object of my love to go with it. All the years that I've known him enter into it to make it a complete picture. And that's what makes it so enjoyable and satisfying. I feel there are no enigmas, no puzzles to solve. What I see, is what I get and it's familiar.

He brought me a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses and After Eight chocolate mints, which are my favorites and which I have been eating all night and this morning. I think they're all gone now. I happen to be very fond of yellow roses, so he guessed that right, but then he always brings me flowers and they are always pretty. You see, I'm not the least bit prejudiced concerning his tastes. I think they are fine. I even like the way he dresses and his aftershave and his body lotion. No, I'm not the least bit prejudiced.

Right, I'm supposed to talk about other things too now. I'll tell you that it's 3C outside and cloudy and that it's going to be cloudy all day, but we're not expecting any rain, according to my weather forecast on the computer. I have to go to the tobacco shop today and to the post office, I think that will be a good outing for Joost and me. We can walk there and get some fresh air. Last night, when we walked the dog, it was drizzling and there was a cold wind blowing and it was just miserable to be outside. I had half planned to take the bus downtown, but it really was not the night for it. Even with the overhead heating it would have been no fun to sit on a café terrace. We need a better night for that. So, we'll save that for the next time.

It's fun to make plans for what we will do the next time, beside the obvious things. It will be nice when the weather gets better and we can be outside more. That's another good reason to look forward to springtime, which I'm already doing now that we have the winter solstice behind us and it has been the shortest day already. It can only move upward from here. Of course, we have those dark and cold January and February months to get through, but they will go by in a snap and once those are behind us, the rest will be easy. I'm totally discounting March and April here, you see, as I think they are just preludes and parts of springtime. Always try to see the glass half full.

At least it's nice and warm in here. I've got my feet by the radiator and they are toasty warm. The dog is lying next to me, because that is where he belongs. That's what he thinks, anyway, and I agree with him.

We had Dutch pancakes for dinner last night. They are like crepes, only I had not made them myself this time. I promised to do so the next time and to make them with buttermilk, because those are the best. I was able to eat one pancake myself, which surprised me and it was very good, not as good as when I make them, but good enough. I have to find some real maple syrup, because the pancake syrup that they have here is too sweet to my liking. There's nothing like real maple syrup, after all.

My hair is very fashionably sticking up straight in all directions. Luckily, it looks like it's supposed to be that way. A little bit of wax will tame it and get it to go in the right direction. The right side sticks up funnier than the left, that's the side I sleep on, the right side, I mean. Sometimes you see people walk around with that "just slept on look" when they haven't quite combed their hair good enough and it has taken on the shape of their pillow. You can tell if they sleep on their back or on their side. They look good from the front, but when you walk around them, it's another matter. I'm sure I look this way myself sometimes. Yes, I notice things like that, don't you?

I feel like a well loved woman and I like the feeling very much. It makes me feel mellow and warm and very pleasant. I can recommend it to anybody. Let yourself be cuddled and treated well, it opens you up and makes you feel like a whole new woman. It ought to be a special treat for everybody, to be loved by their best friend. There's no better person in the world for it. I hope you're either married to that person, or that you have somebody in your life like it. But then again, maybe I am very lucky and this is a unique situation. Maybe it's because of who he is that it's possible. I'm sure that's a very large part of it.

Well, I could go on and on with all sorts of sentimental drivel, but I'm sure you're not waiting for that. I just took my medicines and I'll check my emails and read some blogs, which I think I'm a little behind in. I'll probably have to go back to sleep for a while. It doesn't matter. The day is my oyster. I'll take it as it comes.

Ciao,
Nora

How to get through Sunday.

How do you get through a very sunny Sunday, when you ought to maybe have swept the floors and folded the laundry and taken a brush to the furniture to remove the dog hair?

Well, if you're like me, and you haven't slept all night, it may happen that in the course of the morning you find yourself laying very innocently on the sofa, where you will fall sound asleep for a few hours. In fact, you will wake up just in time to take your mid afternoon medicines and walk your trusty dog.

Having achieved this deed, you will be so proud of yourself, that you will very innocently lay down on the sofa again, this time with a very cozy and loving cat, and start watching the Tour de France, forgetting that the monotonousness of the ride will slowly put you to sleep again, until you wake up a few hours later, when the cyclists haven't even entered Paris yet, but you certainly do feel good.

Then you take a brush and hastily sweep the worst of the dog hair off your favorite chair to make it look like you did something, and quickly gather some dog hair off the floor too.

That's how you spend a very sunny Sunday and I didn't hear one church bell ring, that's how sound asleep I've been.

I mustn't make a habit out of this staying awake all night. I'll try to stay awake this evening and save up my sleep for bedtime. It's hard when your medicines make you sleepy, though, and it is so tempting to go and lie down, but I must use some self discipline and overcome the desire to sleep when it isn't time.

Jesker is being a finicky eater. In the morning he won't eat what's in his bowl, so I put it in the refrigerator. Then when he lets me know he is hungry later in the day, he reluctantly eats two thirds of it and I have to put the rest of it away again. Then he may or may not eat that. He used to eat twice as much, so I don't know what's going on with him. Maybe he's on a diet.

I tried some different food yesterday, but that was not a success either. I think I am going to get him containers with smaller portions and see if he likes that better. He could stand to lose some weight, so it would not be all bad. I just have to make sure he gets his nutrition, but so far he is in no danger of starving. Au contraire.

I just took my evening medication and I'm waiting for them to start working. Whatever tension I feel will disappear. I'll give myself another 12 minutes and then they should kick in. At least that gives me time to make another cup of that delicious coffee.

Isn't it funny how it only took a bottle of cleaning vinegar to fix the Senseo machine again? You have to stop it halfway through the cycle to really let the vinegar work for about 10 minutes and then start it up again. Then rinse 3 times with clean water.

Alright, enough with the instructions already! You uptight so and so! @*&%##@!!!!

There, I feel much better now.

I think I'll put clean sheets on my bed tonight, because it will be such a pleasure to go to bed then. I have to try to make it as alluring for myself as I can make it. By rights, I should iron the duvet and pillow covers, but that's a little bit too much work for me. Suffice it that they are clean and smell good.

I just realized something I have been forgetting before I have been going to bed at night. I have been forgetting to take my tranquilizers and have just been taking my sleeping pill. That's mighty stupid, because that's a major dose of tranquilizers. That must be why I have not been sleeping properly. Well, there's another mystery cleared up. Strike one for me, or is that a hit for me?

Well, my medication is working now, I'm sufficiently mellow. It makes me want to eat things with many calories, but I don't have those here, although I wish I had a package of shortbread cookies. Instead of those, I'll eat a glass of yogurt.

Having sufficiently bored you now, I'll go and read some blogs and bore some more people with my astute observations. I hope you have a splendid Sunday evening with something good to eat.

Ciao...

The best cup of coffee in town...

I bought a bottle of cleaning vinegar and used the whole thing to clean the Senseo machine and I now have the best and strongest, creamiest, most foamy coffee in town and I can't wait to get the next cup, that's how good it is. Boy, did that make a difference! Remind me to do this again on time, because it sure makes for a better cup of coffee. I didn't know what I'd been missing, little by little getting a worse cup of coffee all the time. I must do this once a month, or else...

´t Was a quiet day, well, except for the music that came out of the very good speakers of my computer. I had it tuned to a Deezer radio station and turned up loud enough so that talking on the phone was a little bit difficult. The bass boomed heavily and I had to turn it down both times my sisters called. The radio station is great, except that they don´t announce the artist or the name of the song, so I am in the dark as to what I´m listening to, which is a shame.

Oh, never mind what I just wrote there. I just quite accidentally figured out a way to tell what I´m listening to. It did that by trying to listen to an album they were advertising Mmm...strange! Sometimes I don´t know why things work the way they do. There´s some deep lying logic beneath it all.

So anyway, I went to the store and my new bike bags can hold as many, if not more groceries than the old bike bags. I can stow away quite a few things in there, which is good, because it means less heavy stuff in the bag I carry on my handlebars. I even managed to get two boxes of that good cat food, since the cats are eating it like there´s no tomorrow. I have to restrict their intake, because money still doesn´t grow on trees.

I bought Brie and Camembert, because they had the cheap kind of the latter also, so Jesker and I have been in heaven. Jesker very daintily eats his piece, like a connoisseur or a food critic for the Times. I think eating cheese could be a great hobby of his, except that he seems to be just a tat lactose intolerant. Nothing serious, just a little windy, etc.

I´ve stopped putting antibiotic ointment in his eyes, because it only seems to make them worse and I´m going to go to the herbal medicine shop and get something for his eyes there. The more I think about it, the more I think it is an allergic reaction, maybe even to the ointment itself. I check his eyes three times a day to see if they get any worse and they haven´t yet. The left one is even clearing up. So, keep your fingers crossed.

I had planned to do a lot of chores yesterday, but not much came of it. I did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and then took a long nap on the sofa. Then I went to Pen 10 and Six Sentences and read the short stories there and added comments where I felt I had something to add. I also wrote two short stories and you can read those here and here. I just shake them out of my sleeve, as we say here, so don´t expect any great literature, they are mostly exercises to keep me in shape and I feel I have to contribute something after making so many comments. Some improvement could have been made if I had spent more time on them, but that is talking after the fact.

Wait, there is the edit function!

I´m sitting here now in the middle of the night undecided about what to do. I took my sleeping pill, but I don´t notice it at all. I spent all evening asleep on the sofa, but that normally does not deter me from going to my bed to sleep some more. I´ve got my pajamas on, so that´s not the problem. Well, I´m wearing a pair of leggings and a tank top. That´s my nightwear. I do have real pajamas, but they´re too hot to wear right now.

I´m drinking decaf, which is not nearly as exciting as drinking real coffee, but I must be sensible. Don´t you love it how I take at least a little bit of responsibility? I should throw caution to the wind and drink regular coffee like I want to, but there may be some sleep in me yet and I do want to give it the opportunity to present itself.

The Exfactor was here the other day for a flash visit. He needed something from the shed which wasn´t there and he barely took time to drink a cup of coffee. It was as if he had ants in his pants and could hardly sit down to smoke a cigarette. I won´t take any of it personally and just assume he was in a hurry, but sometimes he is hard to figure out. He comes close for friendship and then withdraws again and seems preoccupied. I´m glad the state of my feelings doesn´t depend on him and I´m really serious about that. I forget him when he rides off on his motorcycle and get on with things.

I suppose it´s officially tomorrow now, so it is Sunday. The famous day of rest. The day of the church bells. I have to sweep the floors and take the laundry down from the drying rack. It´s been up there long enough now. Luckily, none of it needs to be ironed. It´s a fold and hang up job and find the matching sock to one single sock. I think I know where it is.

Well, that´s all I have to tell you. I can´t drag it out any longer than this.

Have yourself a terrific Sunday and fill it with all the things you enjoy doing.

Ciao...

One of two choices.

I have one of two choices. I can sit here and wait for my head to hit the keyboard while I fall asleep, or I can wake myself up properly and write a post, or at least attempt it, because my head may still topple over and hit the keyboard, unless I make myself another strong mug of Senseo, mocha flavor.

I will attempt to write a post, while I also manage to keep a cat off my lap who was just about to put her claws into my lacy leggings and we can't have that. She keeps eyeballing me, waiting to make another move, but I've got her number. I'm watching her carefully from the corner of my eyes. She's disgusted with me and has now taken up position in front of the window to watch absolutely nothing happening in the street. That's an interesting maneuver.

I've met my new psychiatrist today. That was an interesting experience, as he turned out to be a quite young man. As a matter of fact, I think I am old enough to be his mother, but let me assure you that this does not bother me at all in my assessing his ability to be a good psychiatrist for me. He is a very kind and thoughtful man and he made a more than competent impression on me and I think I will be in good hands.

So far he has only known me through the enormous variety of pills he has prescribed for me and the information he got from my SPN, so it was good that he saw me face to face and realized that I was not some drugged up blathering idiot, but just an ordinary woman with her head relatively screwed on straight. This made him feel more comfortable with my drug regime and him prescribing it for me. Through this meeting he has given my SPN the okay to make decisions about my medications, should he not be available for some reason. That means he trusts us in knowing what I need at any given moment and that is good.

I have an appointment with him by myself on June the 2nd, because he wants to keep track of how I am doing, in spite of the fact that my SPN is my main therapist. I am reassured by that, because it shows interest and concern on his part and I appreciate that.

So, now I have two young people looking out for my mental health and they are both Belgian too. And you know what? I really feel good about it. I don't have the least worry that I am not in good hands.

So, that was my big adventure for today and I do really mean that a little bit, because I was just a teeny bit worried about it. A psychiatrist is a very important person in your life and it is important that you trust that person.

My sister and I took the dogs for a walk at noon and just for a change (ha, ha) I didn't have very much to say and I wondered why that was and decided that on some days you just don't feel the need to share so much of yourself. When you think, "Why bother?" and you just keep more or less quiet and then that's okay too. At least it was for me, I don't know how it was for my sister, but she always has something to talk about, so it doesn't matter so much.

Sometimes I have a great need to be quiet and to not share everything I am thinking, contrary to the impression you may have gotten from me through this blog. I think, nobody listens very well anyway, so why bother imparting all this precious information when you could write it down better in book form and have it printed and published and hand it out as a guide of yourself to other people. That way so much wouldn't have to be said anymore. You'd say, "Here, read this and then you'll know what I'm all about and then we can be friends and have a relationship." But it's bad when you have to do that with your own sister.

So, I'm very happy being in my own company right now, that is to say, as long as I can be in your company too. You're all there in some capacity too. As my silent witnesses. Well, actually, you're not that silent. You guys make quite a ruckus at times.

Okay, I'm off to feed the dog and to walk him. It never did become a very nice day today. It was cold and windy and overcast and it rained and tomorrow we'll have the same weather. Time to pull some different clothes out of the closet. There is a seemingly endless supply.

Here are some more photographs of the Exfactor.



Have a good rest of the day, all of you.

Ciao...