Not quite...

I'm trying to decide if it's okay to be not quite happy today. I've thought about it since I got up this morning, when I first tried to deny very bravely that there was anything wrong. I wanted to be upbeat and thought I could talk myself into it, but it was like rolling a stone uphill. Do I let go of the stone and watch it roll down hill? Yes, I think I will do that and stop wasting the effort of holding on to it.

Instead of letting that get me down, I got up and did my chores. I figured that was better to do than sitting around and moping about it. Once I've decided I'm in a not quite happy mood, I'm not going to get all miserable about that. I'll just let it be. It is like having a minor summer cold. It's only somewhat disconcerting.

I have some chores left to do and I'm in the mood to do them too. I'm actively looking for things to do. I want to prevent myself from hanging around with time on my hands. I've just folded a load of laundry and hung up another load to dry. I've put away some clothes that I'd worn this week and put some in the laundry, which will mean that soon I will have another load to wash.

Despite the fact that I had cleaned the Senseo machine with a bottle of vinegar, it has started to leak again and I discovered a big puddle of coffee underneath it that was starting to spread over the kitchen counter. I'll have to run another bottle of vinegar through it to see if I can fix the problem. I cleaned up that mess, but I think the Senseo machine has seen its best days. I'll have to look into replacing it.

I've changed my bed and look forward tonight to clean smelling sheets. It will be a pleasure as always. Tyke "helped" me change the bed. He does that by jumping on it every time my back is turned to get another pillow case or when I'm right in the middle of putting on the bottom sheet and then I can´t get the fitted corners around the mattress. He probably thinks that we´re playing some sort of game.

I have to sweep the floors and clean the insides of the living room windows. Then I have to clean up turds from the patio. There are a few laying there. It´s always my favorite job. I handle them with great care and respect.

Gandhi brought home a dead mouse this morning. She was planning on devouring it in the corner of the living room. I noticed it on time, because Tyke walked over there and watched her with a great deal of curiosity. I chased her outside and, luckily, she didn´t come back with it later. I don´t want to have to clean up a half devoured mouse. I never know what to do with them anyway and end up throwing them in the green bin, although I don´t think I´m supposed to.

Off I go to do the rest of my chores. It will be an afternoon well spent.

Have a good Sunday.

Ciao,
Nora

Doing what comes natural...

Because I was bored stiff yesterday evening, and there was nothing interesting on television, I took my book and a glass of milk and went to bed at 8:30. I read for a little while, but even though it was still light outside, I was sound asleep in the shortest amount of time. Needless to say, I woke up four hours later, wide awake and ready to get up again. It seems that four hours of sleep are all I can manage at one time. Doubtlessly that is because my sleeping pill stops working after that much time and that's what wakes me up form my artificially induced slumber. I'm probably not tired enough to sleep through the night, having taken naps during the day. There, that's a good analysis of that problem. Now I won't worry about that anymore.

Now I'm sitting here drinking a tall glass of milk after having had 2 cups of coffee. I'm about to have another one, because it tastes so good and makes my stomach feel full. There's no need to eat after drinking that much milk.

A few days ago I ordered a summer dress on line for half price. It arrived yesterday. It is very flattering and I ordered it in a size bigger than I usually wear because my size was not available. Because it's such a loose fitting dress, that's not so obvious and it fits nice and comfortably, which makes me think that it's may be better to wear loose fitting dresses in a bigger size. It hides all my bits and bumps and I can wear it with a pair of leggings. I like myself in it. I was buying tighter fitting dresses in a smaller size, but always very conscious of my body and I am not in this dress. To celebrate that bit of newly gained wisdom, I have ordered two more dresses and another pair of leggings and a pair of harem pants that I can also wear in the wintertime. I figured I deserved that much. It's a kind deed I've done for myself.

Since I think I don't do enough kind deeds for myself, I think I am entitled to one every now and then. I hardly ever spend any money on myself. I don't do anything for myself that costs money, except go to the hairdresser every six weeks or so to get my hair cut. I don't go out for meals, I don't go to the movies, I don't go to the museum, I don't take the bus. All I do is pinch pennies. I always think of what else I can do with every euro I spend. I guess I get real tired of denying myself things all of the time. That's why this time I said, "To hell with it," and ordered the things I wanted.

Now I'm going back to bed. I feel that I can sleep some more. There is the lure of the book and the lure of the soft pillows and the duvet.

Have a happy Sunday.

Ciao,

Nora

Interludes.

I'm not ready to go to bed yet. I want to stay up and sit here in the quiet night a while longer and enjoy the company of the sleeping animals. Tyke is curled up in the arm chair and Gandhi is lying on the sofa. Toby is stretched out on the kitchen counter.

Of course, the moment I wrote that down, they all woke up and demanded attention. The cats wanted kibbles and milk and Tyke wanted to go out back and have a rawhide chewy. I took care of that and everyone is settled down again. They went back to their same places and seem very comfortable. I think they're in it for the long haul now.

I stood by the back door in my skimpy sun dress and enjoyed the very cool night air. It felt so good on my bare skin and I wished for it to be that way during the day. It's the wrong time of year to wish for that, though. Nowadays we always have hot summers. That's got to do with the climate change. I would like to live somewhere where the summers are cool and the winters are mild. Can anyone tell me of such a place?

We had a tiny little thunderstorm this afternoon and two and a half drops of rain fell. It was not the shower we had looked forward to. It was a cool enough day, so that was a blessing, but despite the fact that I had all the windows open, I could not get it cooled down enough in the apartment. It is still warm in here now. It's too bad that I can only leave the top windows open on a crack during the night, because it doesn't help much. Barely any cool air comes in.

The usual suspects showed up today. The Exfactor and my personal helper and the domestic help. The weekend started properly for me when everyone was gone in the afternoon. I'm blessed with the help, but I'm also happy when I'm on my own again. I was left with an easy mind and a clean apartment and took a nap on the sofa. That was my way of getting ready for the weekend.

No doubt I'll be taking a lot of naps. My sleep schedule is screwed up again and I'm sleeping at odd times. I have to try and get some order into it, but I can't seem to manage the self discipline it requires. I'm like a man in a cave without daylight who makes up his own schedule. I'm almost ignoring daylight and nighttime and I'm sleeping when I feel like it, although I do try to be more mobile during the day. It's when I have to walk the dog.

I had a big bowl of porridge for dinner and my stomach is very bloated and I have a lot of gas. I look like I'm about to deliver a baby. I hardly eat wheat products anymore and I wonder if I tolerate them at all. The only wheat product I really eat is porridge and I eat it once in a while. I always have the same reaction to it. I think I better stick to fresh fruit for roughage. The fruit juice also has a lot of pulp in it. I think I'm ready for another basket of strawberries and maybe some mandarin oranges. I'll have to send the Exfactor to the Turkish fruit and vegetable man when he's here next.

I've just taken my sleep medication, so I'll end this epistle and wish for sleep. I hope you all have a nice night and a good morning when you wake up.

Ciao,

Nora

An indefinite time...

It seems that exercise is the best thing for a backache. I have been taking Tyke for longer walks today and as a result my back is hurting less and I have not taken any pain medication. Walking, not any huge distances, seems to loosen up my muscles and realign my upper body.

On the other hand, sitting behind the computer freezes me up and causes me to have pain after a while. So I have to limit my time behind it, but I definitely feel better today than I did yesterday. That certainly makes me feel good. And not taking the pain medication does too.

It's nice when a problem is solved so simply and quite by accident. I just kept walking this morning because it felt good and it was nice and cool outside. I had no reason to take a short cut and go home. Tyke enjoyed himself and I was fine.

The day has gone by amazingly fast, although I did take a nap on the sofa. That was necessary for my good mood. I felt my good humor slipping just a little bit and knew it was due to a shortage of sleep. When I woke up, everything was in fine working condition again.

The nicest thing is that I never have to worry about what my hair looks like after a nap. It's always in place and indestructible. All I really ever have to do is rub a hand over it to get the wee hairs on the side into the right direction. It's the easiest hairdo I've ever had. I don't know if it's the most flattering haircut I've ever had, I'm sure there are more feminine, but I'm beyond those things, just like I'm beyond make up. I wore some make up the other day, just to see what it was like, but I wiped it off in a very short amount of time. I felt like a Jezebel and hardly recognized myself. I'm so used to my face without it now.

I ran a bottle of vinegar through the Senseo machine. It was in bad need of it and I had neglected to do it on time. I don't know why. I had the vinegar in the kitchen cupboard and all I had to do was apply it. It's not as if it is the hardest job in the world. I seem to have a hard time doing things that are basically very uncomplicated. In my mind I remember them as being very bothersome, when in reality they are not at all.

I have a kick start problem. I need a good kick in the rear end sometimes. There's no one here to give me one.

I've started a new Inspector Linley thriller called "Careless in Red." I just started reading it, so I can't say much about it yet, but it's a hardbound book and it's hard to read in bed. I have to lay it down beside my pillow and lean my head on one hand to read it. That's how I fall asleep and I have a very sore wrist when I wake up in that position later in the night. With my sleepy head, I'm only aware of great discomfort and I try to get out of it as soon as I can, but seem unable to. I can't move my arm and my head and am stuck in that position and all I can think is what pain I'm in and why am I and why can't I do anything about it? It takes a while for the reality of the situation to sink in and for me to figure out which movements I have to make to get out of it.

I wore my watch for one day only, but that was long enough to give me an allergic reaction to the metal band. I don't know what it is made of, but there must be some metal in it that I don't tolerate. I have a rash around my left wrist that itches something awful. I have to try and not scratch it, but it's hard not to. It feels so good when it itches. Actually, I'd rather not wear a watch. It does feel confining and I only roughly need to know what time it is. I'll depend on the goodness of other people who wear one when I'm out and about.

I've got to stop sitting here now. I have to hang up the next load of laundry, because the first load is dry. One of these days I'll get it all done.

Have a good evening.

Ciao,
Nora

With a cup of coffee...

I've done some more searching for Tyke's photographs, but I'm still not able to find them. I can't take a new one of him now, because it is dark and I don't want to use the flash because it gives him red eyes. I'll take some later today when there's enough daylight in the apartment. Besides, he is sound asleep on the sofa and I don't want to disturb his beauty sleep.

He's truly beautiful and I'm in love with him. I still can't take my eyes off him, although I'm used to how he looks now. Imagine being enamored with your own dog. It's such a pleasure that I truly enjoy. I've never had a boyfriend as nice.

I can cuddle Tyke all day long and not get enough of it. He doesn't wear me out like people do. He's like having a little kid. They're the best kind of people to have around, especially if they are your own. I guess Tyke is just like my child and he allows me to feel unadulterated feelings of love and he gives them in return too. People really do get attached to their pets.

I take pain medication every 6 hours or so. Sometimes I don't wait quite that long and I'm forced to take it sooner. It does help and takes away the worst of the pain and that is a great relief. It makes the difference between being comfortable enough or not. The worst of the pain is in the top half of my back where I have a mild form of scoliosis. It spreads to my shoulders and is very exhausting.

I try to remember to sit up as straight as possible when I sit behind the computer and to not slouch. I push my back against the back of the chair and sit with both buns firmly planted in the seat. Subconsciously, you take on a different position, probably to get more comfortable, although in the long run that doesn't work out. I have keep returning to the proper way to sit and realign my body. It really helps if I keep my hips straight under my spine and line everything up, including my shoulders and my head.

It's starting to be morning. I have been up a good deal of the night. The rain that was promised yesterday and last night never materialized. We did have lots of clouds move in, but nothing came of it. It's going to be cloudy again today, but no rain is forecast. It's supposed to be a cooler day today, but they said that yesterday too and it was warm enough and humid.

Despite my backache, I'm going to take Tyke for a walk in a while in the coolness of the early morning air. The day is best at dawn. His Majesty does need his outing and I can stand the fresh air too. It will be nice after sitting here all this time behind the computer screen, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. First I'm going to have a tall glass of milk to quench my thirst and do something healthy. When I come back I'll have a tall glass of multi vitamin juice. It's the simple things in life that you have to reward yourself with.

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Tyke, the smooth dog.

I just got finished transferring my before and after pictures of Tyke from the camera to the computer and all went well, I thought, until I went to look for them and could not find them anywhere. They have disappeared. I have searched high and low, but I don't know what happened to them.

This has never happened to me before. Suffice it to say that I am pretty disgusted and not in the mood to take another picture of Tyke if that's the way the system is going to work today. Somewhere along the line something went wrong and I'll have to figure out what it was. I'm not amused in the least.

Now, you will have to use your imagination. So, picture an extremely curly haired, fluffy, over sized, barrel chested, ragamuffin of a dog in which you hardly recognize the shape of him anymore. Everything is big because of all the hair, including the paws.

Then imagine a smooth, slender, fine boned, short haired, elegant dog, who doesn't look like Tyke, but answers to the name.

I've spent two hours this afternoon doing nothing but looking at him in amazement and trying to come to grips with the fact that this is my dog. We've also spent a lot of time bonding with each other, as that was very necessary after his big adventure at the trim salon. So, I looked at him in amazement and he kept putting his paw on my hand so I wouldn't forget to pet him. That's what we have been doing.

I walked him over to the trim salon this morning and it was quite a distance. It took me 40 minutes to get there, it was a little further away than I had thought. By the time I came home again, I was a wreck. I had pain in my back in three places and had to sit down and not move anymore. I realized that I would not be able to get up in an other hour and make the long walk back.

First I took a paracetamol with codeine for the pain. My back is my big weakness because it's so crooked and things always have a tendency to go wrong with it when I exert myself. Then I called the Exfactor and asked him if he could go and get Tyke back for me. Luckily, he said yes and came right over. I gave him the money and instructions on how to get there (just beyond the church and the sex shop, beside the bakery) and he went on his way.

He was back a lot quicker than I could have been, because he takes bigger steps and is in much better condition and walks twice as fast. He had quite a surprise for me at the end of the leash when he came back. Tyke couldn't get into the apartment fast enough. It was like he was being chased by the devil. He must have thought that I had abandoned him forever. That's why we're doing all this bonding.

You'll have to excuse me. I want to tell you more, but my back is really hurting a lot. I just took another pain pill. I can't sit behind the computer anymore. I'm going to have to shut it off and lie down.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Ciao,
Nora.