Instinctively...

 

I always feel that whatever I write here has to be very inspirational.  That I can't just write about run of the mill matters here and ordinary things that occur in my day to day life. God only knows where I got such an idea. It's not as if this blog is loftier than my other blogs, so I shouldn't treat it that way or try to write  that way, otherwise I may get intimidated and develop writer's block and that won't do at all. I need to take this blog down a notch or two and make  it a reflection of how I really am and how I really think and not some blown up literary attempt at pretty prose. Having said that, I will now get down to business and write something plain and ordinary.

I've already slept tonight. I went to bed early, after I watched the eight o'clock news and found out about the latest developments in Tunisia, but I woke up after several hours and was wide awake again. The time it takes my 'falling asleep' pill to stop working. Now I have to wait for real sleep to hit me again. That will be some time towards the morning. In the meantime, I've had a cup of coffee and I'm now drinking a glass of milk, which is thirst quenching, but is making me feel cold. I'd better drink a glass of warm milk or a cup of hot chocolate, but the latter always makes me feel very full, as if I've eaten a meal. My gastric band can't handle anything substantial. 

I have to find some ways to amuse myself tonight and there are several possibilities. Looking for good templates is one of them. That's always a sport that I don't tire of. I can spend a long time looking for the right one. I'm also going to be looking for interesting bits of writing for the website Six Sentences, which I recently have gotten a renewed interest for. It makes me pay attention to the quality of things I write and have written. I can also go in search of images to accompany these blog posts. I do use them up quickly, but there are always more to find. I'll be looking for especially colorful ones as opposed to the black and white ones that I usually post. A body does want something different every once in a while. 

It's in the middle of the night now and I feel very good. It's so nice to sit here in the semi dark all be myself and to know that the world around me is asleep. It's not raining outside and merely cloudy. It's not all that cold either. I was standing by the back door earlier and it was very doable while I waited for Tyke to finish getting done with his business. He is a slowpoke and does take his time, unless I pretend to walk away and leave him there, but then he may start to bark and I can't have that late at night. It would upset the night rest of my neighbors.I do have one especially delicate neighbor who will let me know that he's not pleased.

I must be off to do other things now. I have dawdled long enough. It's taken me forever to write this little bitty post. I have made cigarettes in the meantime and checked my facebook account. Sometimes it's hard to stick to the job at hand. There are also emails to answer. I've seen those come in, but have resisted reading them. I do have some self control. I've got to wait for it to become morning so that I can go back to bed. It will be with much joy that I do. I will be more than ready to.

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

 

Another bright and beautiful morning.

I had made a deal with my SPN that I would no longer get up in the middle of the night and stay up and play with the computer until it was morning. This in an effort to get me back to a more normal rhythm in which I might have more energy during the day to undertake things and not be asleep for half of the day. Well, I just about made it. I woke up twice during the night because of night sweats and I had to change the towel I sleep on. The second time I was very uncomfortable, because my arm also hurt, so I did get up for a while and spent some time behind the computer, but luckily, I realized on time that I should go back to bed and I did and woke up at a regular hour. So I did actually sleep a lot, because I went to bed very early last night. I wasn't in the mood to stay up and only wanted to be in bed under the duvet with my book and be nice and warm and read.

Yesterday morning, after I got dressed and walked the dog, I did not clean the apartment as I had so proudly proclaimed. I got my book and laid down on the sofa and read and took a little catnap and Toby took a little catnap on top of me. That's all the effort I put into my morning. When I got up, I had some coffee and cleaned up the kitchen and walked the dog. It was snowing outside and did so for a long time. Still, it was slippery outside in a lot of places and sometimes I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my footing and hit the deck.

I left an hour early to go to my SPN as I also had to go past the post office to mail two packages. These will be amongst the last packages that I will send, as I have quit Bookmooch. I was spending such an inordinate amount of money each month sending books to people that it just about gave me an ulcer worrying about it and I decided not to do it anymore. I will take some of the money that I spent each month and spend it on discount books I want at Bol.com. I will feel much better doing that. I have to send a few more books, but that will be it.

Luckily, the line at the post office was very short and I was done in no time, leaving me to make my careful way to my SPN's office. There were some tricky areas where things were very slippery, but I did not fall once, so that was good. I got there early and read a women's magazine in the waiting room. I never read those, except in the waiting room, because they give such unrealistic expectations about what a woman's life should look like. It's life seen through rose colored glasses and it bothers me that there is none of the really gritty stuff of life in them. It's not exactly feminist literature.

When I got home again, I had to call the pharmacist and make sure they had gotten my prescriptions for all my medicines and ask them to deliver them to my apartment that evening. Then I called my sister to let her know that I was home so we could go shopping. It was busy at the store, but they always have enough cash registers open so you don't really have to wait in line. I was done quickly, because I knew exactly what I had to get, which is basically always the same, give or take a little, and I was ready to go in no time. But I had to wait for my sister and when she didn't show up, I thought about giving her a call. Just as I was about to, I saw her blond head in the crowd. She had run into an acquaintance and had a chat and met the little boy who was two and adorable and she wanted to take him home with her. You see, puppies and little kids...

At home I had the fun job of putting away the groceries with the help of the animals and I gave the cats their food in the pouches, which they darn near pulled out of my hands, and the dog got his treat. I got a cup of coffee and watched some inane TV program while I made cigarettes. It's a program for people aged 55+ and they think we're all demented and can only handle very simple subjects. No intellect is required. It's so condescending. The problem is that I watched the whole program. That's how lazy I was and somewhat fascinated by it at the same time, because I kept thinking, you're addressing me? It's the same problem as with those women's magazines, no unpleasant subjects are broached.

This novel I'm reading, "Superior Women" by Alice Adams is really good. I can't wait to start reading it every time I put it down. I'm completely fascinated by it. It's got me hooked. It's a little bit dated, but it still makes for a good read.

It's supposed to get up to 4C today, so that means there should be some major melting of the snow. It's -1C now and the sun is shining. The dog is sound asleep and hasn't asked to be let out yet. I think he is getting a little demented. Sometimes he gets stuck in corners and just stands there or he just topples over. He also wanders around aimlessly in little areas as if he's confused. Outside he falls off the sidewalk and he leans his head into the wrong side of the door to get in. I don't mind. I just keep a closer eye on him. He's still a good dog.

Well, I'm getting sleepy, so I better get dressed and take him out in the fresh air. That will do us both a lot of good. These anti psychotics do make me want to fall asleep.

Ciao,
Nora