So early in the morning, tra la la...

I'm sitting here with my bathrobe and my slippers on being cold and it isn't really cold in here at all, it is just the suggestion of cold, because it is so cold and snowy outside. It's -6C and snowing and I just let Jesker out back for a piddle and it was freezing! Well, of course, it's -6C.

I haven't had enough sleep yet and shortly I will go back to bed, but I had to get up for a while and have some coffee and my cigarettes and sit here very cozily behind the computer, as is my habit in the morning. I went to bed late last night, because I wasn't paying attention to what time it was and it got away from me and before I knew it, it was late and past my bedtime. I like to be in bed by 10 o'clock at the latest, but it was well after 11 before I got under the covers last night. Then I woke up at 4:30 this morning and thought I was done sleeping. Well, I'm not, obviously, but I am going to take my medicines and have some breakfast first and then get back under the duvet. I'm looking forward to that already.

I got my card swap package all ready to go. I've put together quite a package of cards and papers, both old and new. I have a whole collection of old postcards that I could chose from and I picked out the prettiest ones. I also put in new cards and pretty papers to use for collages. This is the first time I have participated in a swap, so it is a whole new terrain for me and I have to figure out how to best do it. I'll see when I get my package how it's best done. I'm very curious to see what will be in it.

I think today I will get the photo agendas. I'm kind of counting on it. If I get them on time, I may be able to walk to the post office, if not, I will have to wait until next week. I have found out that walking somewhere is easier than riding my bike. I feel less vulnerable. I suppose that I feel like less of a target. There was a time when I used to walk into downtown several times a week. Maybe I will be able to do that again. I would take the bus, but it's too expensive. I could take the bus part of the way there and then walk the rest of the way. I'll see. Walking would be good for me.

I've gotten three mooched books in the mail in the past two days and have to find room for them on the bookcase. They are so nice looking and come from very caring owners. The kind that don't break the spine of a book. Toby has gotten in the habit of sleeping in the bottom cubicle of the bookcase behind a row of books. I keep empty envelopes there and he likes to sleep on top of them with the result that he knocks the books over. I will have to pack them in so tightly that he won't be able to do that anymore. Ha, there's a method to my madness. I like to pack the books in tightly, so they will stay in place, right on the edge and I won't have to dust there. Believe me, I always have a lot of dust and less than enough interest in dusting. Sometimes I get very industrious and move all the books and clean the whole bookcase, but that only happens a few times a year.

Well, now I have to take my medicines and eat breakfast and go back to bed for a few more hours sleep. I feel in my bones that I need to do that. I will be full of happiness when I wake up again.

Have a good morning.

Ciao,
Nora

Thursday after much sleep...

I slept more than 8 hours last night, so there goes my nightlife. No getting up in the middle of the night and having adventures and cleaning house. No, no, I slept just like a regular person does. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think it's kind of boring, actually, but I'm sure it's very beneficial to my health.

I got up early enough to answer emails and have a relaxed cup of coffee before my sister came to pick me up to go grocery shopping. Oh yes, and to walk the poor dog, of course. It had snowed again, so it was much less slippery out and it was a pleasure to walk in the new snow and very picturesque. More snow is expected today and tomorrow too.

My sister and I drove into an almost empty parking lot when we got to the store. That meant some leisurely shopping could be done. You know what that means, don't you? That means you linger a bit and buy things you normally would not buy. Ah, but the damage was not to great after I had put all my groceries away and paid the bill.

After I came home and had given the cats their special treat that I had bought for them, and which they attacked with gusto, I ate my breakfast and went back to bed to sleep a few more hours. That felt very good.

You see how I'm back to needing extra sleep again. That one night of little sleep was just a blip on the radar. A minor hypomanic attack. I did get me out of my depression however and I feel ever so much better and not at all as downtrodden as I did a few days ago. I can actually say that I feel good now. I don't know if that has to do with my circumstances or with the chemicals in my head. Either way, I'm not falling off the earth anymore.

The Exfactor was here just a while ago and we had a minor political discussion about our prime minister and our minister of finance. The conclusion was that we didn't care for either one of them and then we discussed political parties and it turned out that we're both going to join the same one, except that The Exfactor still has to quit his current one, while I have already done that, although mine refused to believe it and kept sending me propaganda material. I think they have gotten the message now, though, and I haven't received anything for about a month or two.

And so it goes in my life, from high to low to in between. I guess I like the highs the best, although the in betweens are okay too. They're just not as exciting and I do like a little excitement in my life. If it doesn't happen naturally, I have to make it happen, but I can't think of any trouble I can get into safely at the moment. Financially I can think of all sorts of things, but I don't think that would be wise and I do have some common sense about me still.

I got word that the photo diaries have been sent to me already, so I'll be expecting them in the mail soon. Actually, they are agendas, I guess that's the proper word for them. I can't wait to see them. I hope they turned out as nice as I think they would. I took great care in choosing the photos, so I hope it is a success. If so, I'm going to do it again for next year, but then a little bit earlier. I waited too long to have these made.

I have to go and put my card swap package together. I bought some interesting cards and have lots of good cards here at home, so wish me luck.

Ciao,
Nora

On little sleep...

I seem to do well on little sleep today. After I wrote my post very early this morning, I did all the dishes and dried them and put them away and cleaned up the kitchen. Then I cleaned up the living room and swept that floor and the kitchen floor. I changed the cat litter box and put down new newspaper under it for those accidents that are bound to happen. I dusted also, but I see I have to do it again, because of floating around dog and cat hair. That's what happens when you have black furniture. I watered the plants and threw away the dead roses and then I washed my hair and put in the henna based conditioner and let it sit in my hair for 5 minutes so it would really pick up the color. After all of that, I had breakfast and went to bed for two hours and slept.

When I got up I had a leisurely cup of coffee and a cigarette or two and then got dressed and walked the dog. After that it was time to go to my SPN and I walked over the icy sidewalks to get there and it took me 25 minutes without breaking my neck. It was very treacherous. My SPN and I had cappuccinos which we only do on very special occasions. Normally we drink regular coffee or tea, but sometimes she sneaks in a special treat. We're working on my agoraphobia and it's going to take a few sessions.

On the way home I bought some cards for the card swap and I stopped by the tobacconist for my supply of tobacco. When I finally made it home, my face was so cold that I had trouble speaking and I had a runny nose. I made myself a hot cup of coffee and thawed out. Then I went to my sister who I hadn't seen since she had come back from Italy and we had cappuccinos and looked at all the photos she took and she told me with great enthusiasm about the art exhibitions she had been to in Milan. She had bought another mug for me and I'm getting quite a nice collection now. We're going grocery shopping first thing tomorrow morning when the store opens at 8 am. She sent me home with homemade pea soup.

When I got home I opened all the mail and none of it was bad, so that was a relief. I made a little stack of the important things and put the rest with the recyclable paper stack. Then I turned on the computer and answered all my emails and that is what I have been doing ever since. I do have a small ache in the middle of my back, but that's from sitting here too long in the wrong position, so I'm making it a point to sit properly now. I wish I had a harness to tie me to the chair so I would not start to slump.

In a little while I'm going to eat and then I'm going to put my pajamas on and go to bed. It's been a long enough day for me and I'm ready for it to end. I've got a good book and a cozy bedroom. I've forgotten to take the Christmas decorations off the lighted branches, so in the bedroom it is still festive. I wonder when I'll get around to doing that?

Okay people, this was just a short report on my day. As you can see, it went well, considering I had so little sleep. Maybe I'll do that again tonight. Hunger forces me to end this post now.

Have a great evening.

Ciao,
Nora

A story in the middle of the night.

I woke up after I had been asleep for a few hours and got up, because I was wide awake. I don´t mind being awake in the middle of the night, because that´s when I feel best and I´m the least intimidated by life. I am also very clearheaded and I can think straight and as a result of that, I was able to write a story that I was supposed to write for an on line magazine that is going to be published on January the 15th, so I was cutting it close. I already knew the ending, so I just had to write the beginning and the middle of it. I´ll point you to it when it is published.

I was hoping that I would have enough energy to also clean up the kitchen, but I think I´m running out of steam now, unless I get my second wind any time soon, but I actually feel myself collapsing now. It´s a real shame, because I was going full steam ahead and I would have liked to keep going. I think if you´re yawning it´s a sign that you need to go back to sleep. My dog is very loyally asleep beside me and I think he would prefer to sleep on his pillow also. I don´t want to keep him from that pleasure too long.

I keep thinking about that photo diary I made and I can´t wait to receive in the mail. I´m so much looking forward to it. It has 29 photos in it, so that´s quite a bit. It will look splendid when I get it. It´s one point of sparkly bright light in my life. There will be others, I´m sure. Getting the story accepted as I wrote it and published will be another. I´m also involved in a card swap that is starting up now and I just found out which person I am matched up with. You swap any kind of card, post cards, playing cards, greeting cards, tarot cards, Christmas cards, business cards, home made cards, you name it. That´s another spark of light.

Well, I´m getting my second wind and the dog has moved to more comfortable quarters. I´m listening to some happy music, which goes to prove that being up in the middle of the night can be a very good thing. Maybe I will switch my 12 hour shifts around. I can pretend to have nothing to do with the daytime at all, but just let the dog out at regular intervals. Ha, if it were only that simple. I do have to go out now and then and forage for food and go see my SPN. But it really almost is that simple.

I have to wash my hair and condition it. It is very dry and sticking up all over the place. I look like a wild woman, which I am at heart. Just a very subdued wild woman. I will do that after I clean up the kitchen. Oh yes, I´m going to do that next. I will feel good once I have it done and that is good for my self esteem. I may even sweep the living room. Well, maybe. I mustn´t make myself to many promises. I get over courageous and then things don´t work out and I feel bad.

It´s -7C outside and foggy. That means no more new snow, but what there is, is freezing and getting slippery. It´s darn near dangerous to walk outside with how icy everything is getting. I vote for warmer temperatures and rain. I´m sure a lot of people are, except little kids with sleds and patient parents.

Alright. I´m off to clean the kitchen, wish me luck. I need it.

Ciao,
Nora