Keeping up with myself...

Thank god it's Friday! The domestic help has been here and cleaned up the place and now I get to enjoy the results all in my own company. There is something to be said for that. Being alone in a clean place is sort of like being alone in a temple without an altar, unless you count the computer desk as one. It makes you feel very peaceful and tranquil and you know that for a while everything will stay as uncluttered  and clean as it is. Until you dirty that first ashtray and that first soup bowl and glass for you milk. It's almost a sin to move around in here and I do it reluctantly. 

The fact that it's Friday adds some joy to my life, although I can't for the life of me figure out why it does so much. You'd think I was going on a mini vacation or something. I act like I have something wonderful to look forward to, while all it is is two empty days to do with as I please. And I will do nothing important with them at all. I will sleep late and watch a lot of television and walk the dog and be in my own company. If I'm lucky, I'll read my book. 

My main goal this weekend is to find my equilibrium which I had lost this past week. I think I'm already on my way, because I'm having a relatively peaceful day today. I am aware of the fact that I'm regularly trying to find my balance and that little things influence it and that I have to readjust myself now and then. But slowly and surely I'm becoming more secure of myself and less frightened that I'll not feel stable. I do have to add that I'm finding much relief from my medication and am very much aware when it's working after I've taken it. 

Right now it is the very little things in life that give me the most satisfaction. That's why I'm so happy with my clean apartment. It rained briefly just a while ago and I loved the way the air smelled afterwards. If only someone could bottle that. You would wish for your laundry to smell that way. There's a strong breeze blowing and it has cooled off the apartment by a whole degree. I'm sitting here in my warm gray cardigan with my socks on. To me that is pure bliss. 

I will take a nap in a little while and enjoy the coolness of the dark bedroom under the warmth of the duvet. It will just be a little nap, but it will refresh me for the rest of the day. I find that a nap in the afternoon does me a world of good. It's mostly for the sake of my brain that I take one. It's like pushing the reset button and I always have lots of renewed energy when I wake up, although I do need a cup of coffee to get the cobwebs out of my mind. It's not a perfect system, but it suits me. 

I hope you're all having a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Getting it right.

I just woke up from a long nap on the sofa and feel like a normal human being now. I was up earlier, but it was a disaster, because I had not slept long enough and I was in a terrible mood because of the shortage of sleep. Of course, instead of going straight back to bed, I was stubborn and convinced that I should stay up and function and do things, even though it was clear that I was not doing them well at all. I thought I should just have another cup of coffee and then I'd be okay, but that second cup of coffee didn't help me any more than that first one.

Finally it dawned on me that what I needed, for everyone's sake, was sleep. I laid down on the sofa and thought I would just rest with my eyes closed and that I would not really fall asleep, but I was wrong and as usual, I feel a lot better now and am a much friendlier person to be with. All my kindness has returned and I don't feel like the end of the world is coming and I'm the doom sayer to tell you. Goodness, that's a rotten job.

Now, of course, I'm dealing with that hour of adjustment in the time. It's really an hour earlier than it says on the computer clock and my watch. I haven't changed the clock in the living room yet, but it is dark and gray outside and it is raining, and it could be any time of the day. Still, I feel like the day is going by awfully fast time wise. I feel like I need to hurry up and do a lot of living in the few hours that are left of the day. I don't think it will happen, though.

I'm supposed to be doing my share of the house cleaning, meaning that I have to dust, vacuum and mop the apartment and clean up the kitchen, but I am so completely not able to do that right now. I think I will have to be excused and have the help do that work herself, because what else is she going to do? If it's raining, she can't wash the windows, except for the insides and those will be done in no time. The first girl who was ever here set up that schedule and I think she was a little bit confused. It's time to throw a wrench into the works.

Oh yes, I've changed my template. Of course, you can't help not missing that. I was over at Eye in the Sky and saw her link to Free Blogger Templates and, of course, I had to go have a look, and you know me, once I go have a look at free templates, I go see if there's one I like. I tried on a couple for size, before I settled on this one. I thought that maybe the other ones were a little bit too garish, although they had their appeal too and I'm not firmly decided yet. Let's just say that I'm thinking about it and things could change any minute. There was one I really liked but the tags were gobbled up with the text and I don't know how to fix it. If this one stays all depends on how much you like it. Thumbs up or thumbs down? You can't vote for the toad. Just for the unknown.

Tyke is lying by my feet, occasionally snoring. The back door is open, so he has been running in and out. There are bits of cardboard spread all over the living room and bedroom from an earlier adventure with a cardboard box. I get to pick up all those pieces. I think he has grown since I've had him, because he doesn't seem like such a little puppy anymore, although he still is in his behavior. He's getting less destructive, though, and more aware of what are his toys to do with as he pleases. He does like to steal things that belong to me, to tease me and to see if he can get away with it. I'm just waiting for him to get this stage behind him and become more normal, to whatever point that is possible. I think he will always be a little bit of a stinker. It's in his nature to be the clown.

The sun has come out again, though it isn't very warm out. There's no abundance of nature happening out there. Everything is late. It's just all sort of dreary looking, as if it's been fall. There is no eruption of green yet, nor are there bright blossoms of daffodils. Spring has forsaken us. At least I don't live in certain regions in Canada, where people still struggle with the cold and the snow and the wind. I would find that unbearable, but I guess you get used to anything. I suppose we don't have it so bad here.

I've had 3 cups of coffee and I will make myself a decaf now, so as to not upset the delicate balance of my psychic system. Ha! I'm only half kidding. I feel good now and I want to keep it that way. I mustn't upset the applecart.

Have a good afternoon. Don't forget to let me know what you think, or otherwise I'll start to act independently.

Ciao,
Nora