No nonsense...

For the moment, I feel just a bit lazy and not at all like doing some of the chores that are waiting for me. The weekend lies ahead of me and I figure there will be enough time to do them then. I think I will give myself a well deserved break this afternoon and only do pleasurable activities. It is always important that I put this in writing to make it official, otherwise it is not like I gave myself the permission to do so. Since I am my own boss, I have to keep some sort of system of checks and balances. I promise hereby that I will be diligent over the weekend. So there, that's settled.

 

I still feel sort of unquiet and restless, but I know that I am not hypomanic because I don't feel like rearranging the furniture or going shopping online. I talked to my psychiatrist over the phone this morning and he thinks it is because I have cut back on the anti-depressants because that will give you that effect for a while. I am able to suppress it with the help of the tranquilizers, so it's not as if I bear a heavy psychological burden. It's really just a bit of a nuisance more than anything and being hypomanic is worse. I have cut back from 375mg to 225mg. That is quite a bit and for now, I am going to stay on this dose. I think it is quite an achievement.

 

Because my hair was not behaving the way I wanted it too, not even when I put hairspray on it, I cut it a bit shorter all on my own. It should have been cut this short in the first place, but I lacked the courage to have it done when I was at the hairdresser's last time. I very boldly took some sharp scissors and very bravely chopped off what was too long. After that, I had new and improved hair and now I can go out in a storm and have it stay in place or sleep on it standing on my head if I want. It took hardly any effort and the hard work had already been done.

 

Notwithstanding the pleasant temperature of 11C outside, I am nevertheless feeling chilly and have the heater on. I am also in need of a freshly brewed cup of coffee and am making a pot now. I do pay attention to my needs and try to take care of every one of them. I have already done so with regards to my growling stomach and had a chocolate paste sandwich. I think I am living on them right now. It's a way to overdose on chocolate without actively being aware of it. You slip into a coma quite unbeknownst to yourself.