Thank goodness for small favors.

I had decided that I was too addicted to caffeine. That the state of my mind during the day (and the nights) was too much dependent on whether or not I'd had my cups of coffee. I was determined to so something about this because I decided that this was a bad thing, so overnight I stopped drinking coffee. 

This morning, when I woke up, I made myself a pot of green tea with lemon and was very sure that I wasn't going to miss the caffeine one bit. I drank the tea and it tasted nice, but it didn't do a thing for me. I had to wake up under my own powers. Luckily, I wasn't too grumpy or it would have been an awful ordeal. 

The Exfactor arrived and he drank some tea with me, but he had obviously been looking forward to a cup of coffee because the disappointment could be read on his face when I said I only had tea ready.

After he left, I made rooibos tea, but I was pretty sleepy headed. I had to try to stay alert because I was waiting for the domestic help to get here, but as soon as she left, I went to bed for a much needed nap. 

When I woke up a few hours later, I decided to make some coffee anyway because I realized I was trying to do things in the toughest way possible. I was going from one extreme to another, drinking a lot of coffee to not drinking any coffee at all and nothing in between. The way I always have a tendency to do things. 

I've had two cups of coffee and I must say that I feel a lot better now. I wasn't especially foul mooded before, but I wasn't perky either and now I'm in a good mood and alert. I know it's from the caffeine, but I'd hate to think how I would feel otherwise. I would most likely be like a damp dishrag, all limp and wrung out.

So, I suppose I'm going to be drinking coffee sometimes and tea at other times. I don't know how that will work out and what the ratio will be, but I will experiment with that. The trick is to drink less coffee than I was before. I should be able to manage that.

I'm so glad that I don't have to do without coffee completely. It was like a doomsday scenario. I thought it was like a punishment that I had inflicted upon myself and that I had to stick to no matter what. That's the black and white thinking I was caught up in. Real autistic thinking. I was taking things too seriously.

I'm always taking things too seriously and failing to see the humor in them. That's because I always take everything literally. It's a small flaw in my character. 

Have a good Friday and enjoy your weekend. 

Ciao,

Nora

At the end of the day.

The day is drawing to an end. I'm already in my pajamas and my bathrobe and I've been drinking decaf for some hours now, so I'm suitable decaffeinated.

I just ate a big bowl of hot oatmeal and it was so good, it warmed my stomach and all my extremities. I feel like I've had the ultimate comfort food. I had forgotten that I had oatmeal in the cupboard and ran across it yesterday when I was looking for something soothing to eat. What a lucky find.

I've called up about my package and have now been told that it will be here on Tuesday. No explanation really on why it was taking so long and I'll believe it when I see it. I just helped vote this company into the best on line store of the Netherlands and now they are letting me down. They've grown to big for their britches. Isn't that always the way it goes?

I am being distracted by the television which for a change I have not turned off. There is a silly program on and I don't recommend typing a post and listening to a silly television program at the same time. No matter how hard you concentrate, you do get distracted.

There, I've turned the television off, because I don't need that kind of interference. I never do understand people who can blog and listen to music at the same time. I need complete silence when I try to write things down. I do like the sound of the clickety click of the keys on the keyboard. It makes me sound industrious.

It was cold today. There wasn't that much rain, but the wind whipped icy cold around you when you went outside. I want to take the Überhund for longer walks, but it's not the weather for it and he also chooses the short route. I can't wait for nice quiet weather that allows you to walk without a scarf bundled around your neck and wishing for a thicker jacket. The wind is always the culprit in the weather, because it makes the temperatures feel colder than they actually are and it seems that the wind is always blowing here. It's always an important element of the weather.

I've lived in the Netherlands for 15 years now and you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I never get used to the cold of the winter season, and really, it's not that bad compared to the weather people get in the Midwest or in Canada where there is lots of snow and ice and winters last forever. We have nothing like that here, because we are in a temperate zone, but I sure don't like the cold and rain that we do get. I'm a springtime sort of person and I can't wait for April and May when the fun part of the year starts. I shouldn't complain though, because I know that some of you are still stuck in the snow and are waiting for that to thaw.

My day went well enough for a Saturday, because you all know that I really take the weekends off without the least bit of guilt. I do the minimum housework and let the apartment be as it is and try not to get excited about anything that really needs to happen. I figure those are the working day jobs.

I managed a nap on the sofa and that was very pleasant, but I needed it, because I felt it in my bones. A sudden weariness came over me and I laid down and was asleep within a few minutes. I leave the television on turned down low for company and I sleep right through it and then wake up to some program of which I don't have the least idea of what it is about. Very often it is a sports program and some team is performing an obscure sport in some part of the world that I've never heard of and we are not doing well. Sports programs do have to fill their time with sports, even if there is barely anything to cover.

After a refreshing nap, it is time for a good cup of coffee and some computer time, but first I have to bond with the Überhund who has been taking his nap beside me, while some cat has been laying on top of me. The Überhund lies on his back while I rub his belly and he purrs like a kitten, at least, that's what it sounds like to me. It's actually a series of low moans and snorts and sighs, all out of happiness and contentment. Oh, to be a dog and to be that happy.

Firefox opens up six tabs (I don't know the proper word in English) and I can see if there are any new posts or any new comments to the blogs I follow. They also take me to 6S and Facebook and Blogger dashboard and my own blog. If I'm very bored, I read my own old posts and am amazed at what I've written, because I have a bad memory and have forgotten a lot of those things already.

I never let on how bad my memory is. I cover it all up, but I know very often I don't get my facts straight. One thing I alwas forget is how close I am to someone. It's like I have to start every relationship over again from scratch every time, while only vaguely being aware of how close I already am to that person. If it weren't for the other person's efforts, I would remain a stranger to everybody. That's a very odd thing, isn't it? I've always thought that it was something autistic in me. I identify with some aspects of autism and have often wondered if I have some of it myself.

After that revelation, I think it's time for me to go to bed, although I'm not nearly sleepy, but it's late. I'll read until I fall asleep. I've got a new book called The Road Home by Rose Tremain and I think I'll start reading it tonight.

It's turned into a midnight ramble. Have a good sleep, everyone.

Ciao...