Setting free the elephants...

Today has been an odd day and I feel like it took twice as long to get over with than it usually does. I feel like I've lived two days in one. This is no doubt due to the fact that I got up early and was running ahead of myself all day long. It did mean that I could have two very leaisurely cups of coffee in my armchair before the day started and could contemplate my navel. For a while I had nothing else to do.

I woke up with the migraine that had never left me during the night. I had stabbing pains in my head whenever I moved it and I wonder if I'm not fighting some sort of a virus that's not causing me any other sort of problems. I have to move my head carefully and remember not to bend over or get up quickly. It is a bother, but I will just have to wait it out patiently. I'm not going to the doctor yet. 

I waited in vain for a phone call form the energy company which I was supposed to have gotten early in the morning. That's why I had gotten up on time, but it never came. I will have to call them myself tomorrow so as to not have all sorts of misunderstandings happen about my contract with them. I do dislike companies that don't stick to their promises. It's a very simple thing to call a customer when you say you will. I do so appreciate efficiency and not living in a banana republic. 

My personal helper was here on time, not that I'd be put out if she weren't (I forgive her anything). We talked about the week's events and gossiped like two old women. We are roughly the same age so the same things concern us. She always has some handy tips for me and we get along well. The dog likes her a lot too and wants nothing more than to sit on her lap. The cat has come to quietly accept her, but she does stay a little aloof. She is friendly but standoffish. 

Afterwards I had to go see my therapist for an unexpected talk because I'd had such a difficult couple of days and I needed to unload. There were some big concerns that I had about my mental health that I had to discuss with her. I know no person other than her who I can do this with. I feel that there is nobody else that I can be as honest with. It's about trust and I don't trust just anybody with my most inner thoughts. 

She's very honest with me and will even burst my balloon if she thinks I'm on the wrong track. She makes me take the responsibility for all my actions and feelings and creates links between them that I didn't see. I felt somewhat deflated after I had talked to her today, but I did feel that the truth had been discussed. I am seeing her again on Wednesday for my regular appointment. There is enough left to talk about. 

I had to walk the dog when I got home, but despite the sunshine, it was cold outside and it wasn't much fun to be out there. Maybe it is because I'm sick, but I'm having a hard time staying warm today. 

The Exfactor came and did the groceries and bought me some paracetamol which I have taken and which is helping my migraine a bit. I'm not as uncomfortable as I was before and can move my head around a bit easier. 

I sat in my armchair and watched the repeat of the news but was shivering and fell asleep. When I woke up very uncomfortable, I turned on the heater and went to bed for a nap. That was the best thing I did today. I felt ever so much better when I got up again. I made myself some coffee and decided to turn on the computer and not do anything else that was complicated today. 

The bedroom furniture is going to be delivered tomorrow afternoon. I just got the message about that. I've made space in the hallway to temporarily put it until it can be put together and put in place. I'm excited about that. I can't wait for that room to be empty so I can furnish it. 

I'm feeling extremely low key and not at all like I'm rapid cycling. I would even say that I'm mildly depressed, but that may be because I'm sick. I need to take care of myself well. I will do kind deeds for myself. Somebody has to take care of me. It can only be me because I'm the only one here. 

I hope you all had a good day today. 

Ciao,

Irene