In the long run...

Late yesterday afternoon, Tyke and I went for a longer walk, because many of you agreed that he needed more exercise than he was getting on his little short walks with Jesker and I couldn't agree more. We left at about 4 o'clock and as it gets dark at 6, I figured we had enough time to wander around the neighborhood and pick the best route to follow. He thought it was great and couldn't move quickly enough from one interesting spot to the next, That meant moving from hedge to hedge and from tree to tree and from one blade of grass to the next. He set the pace and it was fast. He was just not quite pulling my arm out of my socket.

Unfortunately, I had misjudged the weather and wore my warm sweater under my winter coat and after a while I was very hot. It was much warmer outside than I had anticipated. I was also wearing the wrong boots and had sore feet about halfway through the walk. So I lasted 50 minutes and had to call it quits. Tyke easily could have walked another hour or two. Also, my condition isn't what it used to be. I have gotten used to the relatively short and easy rambles with Jesker and they are nothing compared to a long walk with Tyke.

Today I'm going again, but I'm not going to wear my warm sweater and I'm going to wear my hiking boots in the hope that I will last a little bit longer. I'm going to try and make two longer walks, but it depends on how much sleep I need and how much time that leaves me. I'm up in the middle of the night now after sleeping a few hours. No doubt I will go back to sleep later, but I may be up on time for a morning walk with him that's a bit longer.

Jesker gets exhausted moving from room to room, so I'm not going to bother taking him for walks anymore, as they seem to wear him out too much anyway. I will let him do his business out back and just take Tyke for walks and make them longer ones, because there is no sense in making these tiny little walks with the three of us. They don't do any of us any good, least of all Jesker.

I'm worried about Jesker and I don't think he is going to hang on much longer. I guess what I'm really saying is, that soon I will be faced with the difficult decision that I have to make and that is so hard. But I hear his breathing as he is lying here beside me and it is short and shallow, as if it requires effort. I want him to hang in there a while longer, but really I want to postpone the decision until there is no other choice. Until it is the only obvious thing to do, but I don't want him to needlessly suffer either. It is tough. I've had to had cats put to sleep and I felt bad enough about that. This, however, is my companion and my friend. He's more than just a dog.

I've turned the thermostat down one degree so the heater won't keep going on and it does make a difference, but I imagine that I'm much colder now, while one degree should not matter all that much. A cup of hot coffee sure tastes good then. I think I'm going to get my end of year bill in June, because that's when I became a customer of this energy company and I will find out how much extra I will have to pay on top of the monthly payments that I have been making. They've calculated me for a one person household, but the winter has been cold, so I may have used more gas than was predicted. I've also used the computer a lot, so I may have used more electricity, in spite of my energy saving light bulbs and the fact that I hardly watch TV. So it's all going to be a big surprise.

I just got two blue envelopes in the mail from the tax office and I thought that maybe they wanted more money from me because of the end of the year calculations, but luckily zero Euros were due. It's such a relief when the tax people let you know that you don't owe them anything else. It would be like plucking a naked chicken. There's no more to go around and they ought to know best. You never know when you get a blue envelope in the mail. It can be good news or bad news. This time it was semi-good news. It would have been better if they had owed me money. That would have been my lucky day.

It's only going to be 3C today and cloudy. We've had such nice weather these past couple of days, that you could almost imagine spring had arrived. Alas, it was of short duration. Next week we're going to have wintertime again with freezing temperatures and more snow, believe it or not. Such rotten luck! I do hate that and I sincerely hope that's the last of it, but that's what I hoped the other week too. Drats! In the north of the country they haven't been without snow for at least 7 weeks, so that's much worse. Thank goodness we're spared that.

Both the dogs are amicably sleeping at my feet as if they've never done anything else. There's room for both of them. Sometimes Tyke snores. It's very funny to hear such a little dog snore. Every time I get up to go to the kitchen, he follows me in the hope that something exciting will happen and I have to disappoint him every time. It's not nearly time for him to eat, but he does gobble down his food when he gets it. He acts like a starving person who hasn't had anything to eat for days or weeks. It's gone in no time. Jesker is not the least bit interested in eating.

Well, I'll go and read blogs. I'm behind in that and now is a good time to catch up.

I hope you all have a wonderful day when you get up.

Ciao...

Jesker's condition...

I just came back from this afternoon's walk with both the dogs and I could see that it was a real effort for Jesker. We walked very slowly and at the end of it I was worried about him making it home. He is confused again and got stuck in a corner in the entryway by the front door and I had to guide him into the apartment. He doesn't want to eat and I have to force his antibiotic pill, wrapped in a slice of salami, down his throat. His breathing is a bit labored as he is lying here beside me and I bet he's got a fever again.

Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do for him, but pet him and try to make him as comfortable as I can and not leave him alone. He wants to be as close to me as he can and luckily Tyke is getting over the worst of his sex drive. He's not nearly as bad as he was yesterday and leaves Jesker alone now for the most part. The attempts that he does make are halfhearted and I can easily stop him.When I do, he's very apologetic and wants to make up for it as quickly as he can. That's good, because Jesker just wants to lie beside me and be petted every so often.

For a change, I slept all night long. I think I went to bed at 11 pm and didn't wake up until 6 am. That's a record for me, although I think I one time slept for 8 hours. I can't remember when that was exactly. It was last year some time maybe. Tyke didn't get into any sort of trouble, but he did leave two surprises by the back door. At least his intentions were good, he was almost in the right place. I'll put a newspaper down there tonight, so it will be easier to clean up. It's amazing how easily you get used to handling a dog's surprises without gagging.

I'm not falling apart today. It must be because of those extra hours of sleep I grabbed this morning after I had already been up for a while. Sleep is my best friend, I need more than enough of it and more than 7 hours in a night. 7 Hours is not enough for me. I can't function on it.

This is taking me forever to write, because I have to pet Jesker and play with Tyke. It's like having two children who both need enough attention. Then Gandhi threw some books off the bookcase and Tyke started barking about that, because he thought that was scary and not at all the way the way it was supposed to be.

I just took some time out to clear the patio and the flowerbeds of evidence of dog. The more I looked, the more I saw. It's amazing what comes out of a small animal and what difference the sort of food makes. I have made up my mind about what I'm going to feed him now and what sort of snacks he's going to get. It's all a question of trying things out.

Well, I'm going to sit on the sofa in the company of my dogs. I'm sure we'll have a fruitful time. Poor Jesker needs lots of attention. He's lying between my feet now and I'm sitting here like a farmer milking cows.

Have a good rest of the day.

Ciao...

After a halfway decent night's sleep.

I woke up this morning and found out that Tyke had destroyed my reading glasses. They were completely in pieces scattered over the bed. Luckily, they were a cheap pair that you buy at the drugstore for a few Euros and I do have another pair, but it means that I can't leave anything lying around on the shelf of the bookcase that he can reach. He had also destroyed an empty Pringle's cylinder, which didn't matter and the pieces of which were also all over the bed. That shows you what a deep sleeper I am, because I didn't notice a thing. I'm going to put a rawhide stick on that shelf tonight, so he can find that and chew on it. At least he keeps his activities confined to the bedroom.

I am the alpha dog and Tyke is trying to be second in line before Jesker. He always tries to keep Jesker at a distance from me and the closer Jesker gets to me, the more dry humping Tyke does to Jesker. Jesker can fend for himself very well, but I do have to interfere every once in a while when Tyke gets too enthused and climbs all over Jesker. That's going a little bit too far, so I scold him and pull him off, whereupon Tyke lies on his back and shows me his belly in submission. He does have to know who's boss.

Oh, it is boring, isn't it, people who talk about their dogs all the time? Although I never mind it when Laurie and Babaloo do it.

The Exfactor was here this morning and he made it a point to greet Jesker first and Tyke second. I thought that was very good of him. He thought Tyke was a hypomanic acquisition and I could assure him that he was not. If anything he is a "get me out of the doldrums dog." He certainly has done that, although I did go back to sleep after I got up early this morning. I let the dogs do their business out back and went to sleep on the sofa and slept for another three hours. It was great and the dogs slept too.

I did just take a temazepam to settle my mind and get some peacefulness inside of me, because I do feel mentally exhausted by this time of the day. My head feels like it is reeling and more than anything I want serenity. Peace and quiet is what I want. Not outside myself, but inside of me.

The pharmacy just dropped off some medication for me. It's nice that they have that service and I don't have to ride my bike over there. I'm still not comfortable on my bike and haven't tried to ride it in some time. Sometimes I think I will, but then I always change my mind about it. Walking seems like a better thing to do right now. The pharmacy is too far away for just an easy stroll over there. I may do that with Tyke some day. It's too far for Jesker to walk. Jesker can hardly make our little walk. He really lags behind at the end of it and moves very slowly. He's not eating well either, but he can lose 4 more kilos. Still, I have to try to get some nutrition into him.

I'm going to lie down for just a little while. Two minutes of shut eye before I have to walk the dogs.

Have a nice evening!

Ciao...

There are other things in life...

I took a three hour long nap this afternoon. That goes to show you how short of sleep I was. I do have to admit that I took 10 mg of temazepam to steady my nerves, because they became slightly unhinged at about 3 pm like they used to in the olden days when I was still married. Three o'clock in the afternoon seems to be the magic hour for that. That's when whatever I was holding together becomes undone and I become frazzled.

It's a good time to go to sleep, and you will all remember the sign I used to have that said something like, "This is a Rapid Cycle, Go to Sleep Now." I don't know what's become of it. I never did find it again after the Exfactor moved out. Maybe I thought I wouldn't need it anymore and threw it out. I did blame him for my daily rapid cycles, because I got them usually around the time he came home in the afternoon. Now I just seem to have rapid cycles all on my own, without any body's help. That's a pretty good trick.

I have to pay better attention to these things, because I think this has been going on for a while. I always seem to forget the most important bits of information about myself. Knowledge that I have and that seems to get lost in the vagueness of my mind, but that's very crucial to understanding myself. I don't always feel a certain way. I feel certain ways sometimes and not all the time. I go from elation to despair and back again repeatedly and I have to remember that, otherwise I'll ignore my whole realm of feelings and claim that the whole 24 hours were one and the same thing when they were not.

Anyway, Tyke behaved beautifully while I was asleep and I can only surmise that he takes the lead from Jesker. I thought he might get into all sorts of trouble, but he didn't. He was happy when I woke up, but then so was Jesker, and I both let them out back for a piddle. I cleaned up the patio and now have a lot of mulch in the flowerbed and Tyke has decided to poop there, which is good fertilizer. The only thing I have growing there is the nearly out of control winter blooming Jasmine and nothing can kill it. I did invest in some large plastic bags, so one thing I can do is clean up the flowerbed regularly. I really don't think the dog poop is going to compost that quickly and it will turn into a mess in no time.

One thing I'm finding out tonight is that Tyke is a sex maniac and wants to have sex with everything and everybody. Even the cats aren't safe. Now I will have to look into having him neutered, so I better start saving my money for that. The hormones must be raging through his body.

Well, if you missed the photos of the dogs go here. I'm going to get ready for bed. It's been a long and exciting day, believe it or not.

Have a good night!

Ciao.

Here he is: Prince Charming!

I had a heck of a time taking a photo of Tyke, because every time I put the camera in front of my face, he jumped up at me to investigate what I was doing. The rest of the time he was running around the living room, absolutely not holding still. so I only caught pieces of him, like the rear end of him or his head in movement. So this is the best I could do, but it gives you a good enough idea of what he looks like, I think. Like a teddy bear.

But let's not forget the most important dog in the household and that is Jesker. I do want to include a photo of him.

This photo was taken before the last time he was sick and before he lost all the weight. It was still on my camera, so it was a new one to me too. Jesker always knows when his photo is being taken and looks very demure when it is.

It's interesting taking two dogs for a walk on the leash and juggling the poop baggies too. You need to be quite handy for it. I wonder how Laurie does it wrapped up for the Minnesota winter as she is?

I need to take a nap. I haven't slept enough yet. I'm keeling over from lack of sleep.

Have a good day!

Ciao.

Life with Tyke...

Jesker had taken Tyke's rawhide bone away from him. He's wasn't doing anything with it. He was just keeping it very close to him so Tyke couldn't get it and every time he tried, Jesker growled at him, until Jesker fell asleep and Tyke managed to snatch the bone away and continued to have a wonderful time chewing on it for the rest of the evening and this morning. It seems that Jesker admitted his defeat, because he never did try to get that bone away from Tyke again. Jesker does take everything away from Tyke though. So I have to make sure I have two of everything. It's a good thing I'm going grocery shopping with my sister this morning, so I can stack up on some dog chews and make it as fair as I can for both the dogs.

Bedtime was interesting. Jesker laid down on his pillow and Tyke jumped on the bed with me, but he found it necessary for the first hour to come and lick my face every 5 minutes. He finally did settle down and I did get about four hours of sleep, which is my usual amount. The first thing I did was let the dogs out back for a piddle and then made a big deal out of it when they both went. I let Tyke out more often and praise him lavishly when he does a piddle and he is so happy when I do. Positive reinforcement!

Jesker is getting a new lease on life, because he gets to be assertive and the top dog. I think he enjoys that role. Of course, I help him be it, because he does deserve a little bit of respect. He doesn't like it when Tyke starts roughhousing with him, so I prevent that and Tyke listens well. He aims to please.

This little bundle of life is just what I needed to happen in my life. It gives me something to keep me busy and focused on and amused. I'm constantly having to deal with a dog that is really almost still a puppy and needs a lot of attention. Besides that, I also have to pay attention to Jesker, so it keeps me on my toes. It makes me livelier and more alert and less self centered. I can't have kids to bestow my love and attention on, but I can have dogs and I always do better when I have someone or something to take care of. I still have a lot of maternal feelings.

In the meantime, I'm sitting here very cozily with my cup of coffee and my cigarettes and the dogs at my feet. Gandhi is sitting on the dining table keeping an eye on things. I don't know where Toby is, but I'm sure he's not far away.

It's 5C outside and cloudy, but we are expecting no rain. All the snow and icy patches have been washed away and yesterday it was actually a nice day with some sunshine at times. I went outside in just my winter coat without my scarf or gloves and I wasn't cold. It was so nice to go for a drive in Yvonne's car through the countryside, even though everything is still very wintry looking. It's just nice to see some different scenery. Of course, we momentarily got lost driving to the kennel, but then miraculously found our way there anyway, thanks to Yvonne's great driving skills. No thanks to my reading of the directions.

Tyke was supposed to be housebroken, but he gets it wrong sometimes. Luckily, he gets it wrong on the linoleum, making for an easy clean up. I have to keep a better eye on him. An eagle's eye.

I hope you all have a nice day. I'm counting on one myself. I'm bound to with these two dogs.

Ciao.

P.S. I'll take photos of Tyke today and hope there is a good one to publish later on.