Like a not so lost fool.

I called my GP's office yesterday and was told that the blood test showed that I do not have that bacteria that causes my stomach problems. I was somewhat disappointed about that because it would have been the easy solution. Now I do not know what is wrong. I got the advice to just keep taking the stomach tablets and to wait for it to get better, at which I became very upset, because I have been taking those tablets for a long time. I demanded another appointment and got one for this coming Thursday. I will not be that easily put off. If it were up to me, I would have already gone to see a specialist. Grumble, grumble...

 

I talked to my psychiatrist and he approved the 1 mg increase in my medication as long as it does not make me emotionally flat, so we have to keep an eye on that. I am relieved about it because I think I am, and will be, doing a lot better. He was glad that I was keeping track of my own moods, although I told him that sometimes it was difficult and I did not notice when I was in trouble myself until after the fact. I do have to say, that this time I caught it before, and he was pleased about that. It is, of course, quite an improvement when a patient can monitor her own moods and adjust her medication accordingly. I am happy that he trusts me to that point anyway.

 

I am very relieved that I no longer get real depressions. I may get a dip now and then, but it is nothing compared to the depths I used to go. I mostly have to deal with hypomania and I so much prefer that. Maybe I am trading in good physical health for good mental health, who knows? I certainly appreciate good mental health. With the normally positive attitude that I have, I can face a lot of things. When you are depressed, anything at all becomes impossible to deal with because it all gets pulled into the black hole with you. If I am thankful for anything, it is that that does not happen anymore. As always, I count my blessings.

 

Today I have to make an appointment at the trim salon to have Tyke's fur cut short because it has really gotten too long. Last night I had to trim the hair on top of his forehead because he was peeking through it and not seeing much. The weather is improving and I am going to assume that we have the worst of it behind us and that Tyke will not suffer from the cold once he has been trimmed. I am very curious what sort of dog will emerge from underneath all that hair. He has gained weight, but it is hard to tell how much. I may be in for a shock and put him on a diet immediately.

 

I am meeting my friend Lucienne downtown this afternoon to have a coffee at an outdoor café and watch the world walk by. We will be warm enough with out winter coats on beneath the overhead heaters under the awning.  I will think of all of you when I sit there.