Creatively uninspired.

I have not felt the need to be creative in a long time. I have not wanted to make a collage or a drawing or a sculpture, nor do I feel like there is anything in me like it that needs to come out. I do not even feel like writing a poem or a short story, which is something I have tried my hand at in the past. I absolutely have no creative urges within me, except to write these blog posts, and that does not take much creativeness.

 

In a way, I feel it as a relief because the pressure is off my shoulders and I do not have to perform and come up with a good result. And I am not even claiming that the results were all that great and that I was a good artist. I was at most a somewhat talented one. I certainly do not have the urge to have to prove myself and show that I can make something wonderful and in the process run into all sorts of frustrations.

 

I should, of course, have gone to an art academy when I was young and learned the proper techniques. Secretly, that was my desire, but coming from the kind of environment that I did, that was out of the question, although my talent was acknowledged. I think the people around me lacked all sorts of courage and imagination and could not think out of the box and I was a prisoner of them at the tender age of sixteen.

 

I am not sad that I am not creative anymore now and vicariously live through the creativeness of other people, many of whom do such a terrific job at making the most wonderful art. That to me is a joy to see and I love the fact that they exist and that it is possible. If I had the money, I would collect their work. I do not think to myself, "That should have been me." I am not that small minded.

 

I think if I lived under different circumstances, and had the money and the opportunities, that I might try to get involved with making art again, but then strictly as a student. The way I look at it now, this is something I am going to do in my next life along with some other things I did not get around to in this one. I sure hope I have the smarts and the luck and good fortune to do them. And the talent, of course.

 

It is at least 20C outside and 22.5C in the living room because the sun is shining straight through the windows. I had to pull the shades down a bit because Tyke was looking for a cool spot to lie down in. I think Gandhi is in the back of the apartment where it is a lot cooler, but Tyke has to stick close to me, of course. I am drinking a new brand of lemonade that was on sale and I have to say that it tastes very nice and I hope it stays on sale a while longer. It is less sour than the other one without being too sweet.  I could really get hooked on it, but then I like lemonade a lot anyway.