I can't get around acknowledging that it's Christmas today, although, so far, I notice very little of it. If I turn on the television, I can watch some very schmaltzy shows, but I certainly don't want to do that because I am allergic to them. Imagine Andre Rieu addressing an adoring audience in German in fake snow and his orchestra members with Santa hats on. Blegh. How low can a man fall? No, give me a cathedral with a good choir or two under the able hands of a good choir master and let them sing the roof down. That's what I want to hear at Christmas.
I am not at all the 'bah humbug' kind of person, and at one time I was also a major consumer at Christmastime. I also fell for the commercialism of it hook, line and sinker when I still lived a middle class life in the States, with my 2.4 children and two cars and house in the suburbs. It is amazing how your environment shapes you and how you start to act like the people you most associate with. Especially when you are relatively young and still somewhat malleable in your opinions. You've got to have an enormous sense of self not to get caught up in the general turmoil of whatever national holiday is celebrated.
I have to say that I enjoyed one thing a lot, and that was decorating the tree, a deed which I exercised as if it was a lost art. I bought new ornaments for it every year and they had to be the imported, authentic kind from Scandinavia and Germany and I was in cohorts for this search with a good friend. We started getting that crazed look in our eyes late October and no store that sold ornaments was safe for us. One store in particular, Pier 1 Imports, was a favorite hunting ground. I think we went there at least once a week to see if there was anything new and we were often rewarded.
I don't have room for a tree in my apartment now, but I did not feel like decorating for Christmas at all. I didn't want to put too much emphasis on the holiday to make me that aware of the fact that I was alone for it. I had hoped to celebrate it with my daughter and grandson in Houston, but that turned out to be a pipedream, and now it looks like that will never happen again. I think it was a bit naïve of me to assume that a tradition like that would be started and maintained. It was too much to wish for. I better get used to the fact that I entertain myself at the holidays and make sure that I always have my own plans. I am sure I will be quite capable of this.
One thing that is very nice, and that is that my medicines are working well today and I am feeling amazingly calm and serene. I am so very appreciative of this that nothing else matters. This is true 'peace on earth' for me. If I never got another gift, than this would be enough.
8 comments:
Great post! Glad you're feeling so good today. I am two. Here we are, two old single gals, enjoying the heck out of our solitary Christmas days!
Since I know you take your knowledge of the English language seriously, just let me say that "cohorts" are friends, typically (although a cohort is a group, actually), while "cahoots" is what you would call being up to something with a pal. So, you might say you were in cahoots with your cohort to find ornaments.
And FYI, I'm allergic to schmaltz, too. Although, you probably know, schmaltz is actually herring. But that's another story!
Have a good evening, my friend!
xoxo
Oops -- I am too, not two!
Oops again -- schmaltz is rendered chicken fat, not herring. I'm getting my Yiddish words mixed up!!
You are never alone.
Have a wonderful day.
Ah, yes; a wonderful choir with some thrilling music. Such a delight! The choir was good at the Christmas Eve service last night at our church.
Actually, I am often a "Bah! Humbug!" kind of person at this time of year. It's almost noon, and I'm finally awake enough to have taken out the garbage. Even though I've been up and about the house since about 9:00 a.m. A clear sign, to me, of the depression with which I live. Though not nearly as debilitating as in many years past.
This year, as in the past several, our tree is about a foot tall. Artificial. Enough of a tree to say we had a tree. (No trees were killed in the making of our Christmas.) And the whole family — all seven of us — were together last night. We'll all be here, again, later this afternoon.
I'm glad your medication are working well! At least you've gotten (more or less) over that hurdle.
I'm not watching tv today, thought I am connecting with some internet friends. Tv is certainly one the "Bah! Humbug!" things I can easily and happily avoid. Connecting with friends is so much better!
Blessings and Bear hugs!
Glad you are feeling good and hope it lasts all day and all year Irene. I am alone and fine with it - going to a pot luck dinner in my apartment building later this afternoon. 10 strangers! - that makes a family doesn't it?
Watched the Queen on TV this morning as I always do on Christmas day. I think she is a courageous woman.
Hey - at 59 you are still a spring chicken - trust me you will know that when you are 79. Mind you - I am lucky to be healthy at 79. I can truly say the older I get the better I like living. Maybe because each year I am longer over the change of life hormonal hump? Hope the same for you.
Betty
All I can say for my Christmas, is thank god for Dr Who. All Day. I feel the same as you re: decorating a tree. At the moment though, some of my family are out of home due to the ice storm and no power. I feel bad for them (yet also a little sad that they chose not to stay with either me or my brother and we all could have been together and warm and happy for one day. It is their choice.)
I don't really mind being alone. But today feels just like any other day, except it's not really.
Merry Christmas to you, Irene.
Your post resonated with me. I never take anything for granted. This year us 3 generations are together but many years I've been alone and loving it too.
Like you, I do like my own company very much.
I am so glad your meds have you stabilized.
XO
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