I was sitting here minding my own
business when I noticed that I was getting just a little bit stressed
and I wondered why that was. I quickly realized it was because in my
head I was making a list of things I had not gotten around to doing and
that I absolutely could not forget. But then I also realized that this
was the weekend and that I would have plenty of time to do them, so I
started to relax again.
It's just a matter of writing these things down on a piece of paper and breaking them down into simple steps. The smaller the steps, the easier the job and the less intimidated I will be. It's the fear of failure that always paralyzes me
and that has to do with my drive for perfectionism. It's better if I
name those less appealing characteristics so I won't be bothered by them
so much. It's good to keep them in mind while I go about crossing off items on that yet to be made list.
I'm
sitting here having a much appreciated cup of coffee. It's as good as I
anticipated it would be. Since I'm off the tranquilizers, I don't have
many befuddled moments anymore and I seldom have to drink the coffee to
become sober minded. I do require it in the mornings to get my head
together. I could not start functioning without the caffeine. I suppose
that's how addicted I am to it. Like the joke goes: I don't have an
identifiable personality without it. And I'm an unmovable, silent
obstacle without caffeine.
The
Exfactor can testify to that. He is here some mornings when I'm just
waking up and haven't had my coffee yet. He knows that I'm incapable of
having a conversation until I've had that first cup. I sit there as if
I'm dumb struck and I can hardly utter a word. I do completely turn
around when the caffeine has hit my system and am full of kindness once
that happens. I can talk about any subject then and make a completely
coherent shopping list.
Luckily, the scenario above doesn't
happen a lot. I do try to be up on time when I know the Exfactor is
coming. I very seldom oversleep. That must be why I like the weekends because it allows me that luxury, although I don't often take advantage of it. I must remember that I like the weekends for those times when I think I don't.
Ciao,
Irene
