It is a bit early to start the day, but because it is Monday, I am more than eager to have my first cup of coffee so I can properly wake up. Until I have had that, I am only pretending that I am awake, but the coffeemaker is done and I have just poured my first cup. The waking up process can start now and I am happy about that. For the moment, there is nothing else I need to make the morning perfect.
Although it was not a bad weekend, I am glad that it is over and that the week has started. The weekend can be a pleasant interlude, but sometimes it is nothing but a boring pause during which I impatiently wait for it to be Monday again. Especially now that I have started all those sporting activities, the week days are much more interesting.
But even now I don't know how I got through the week anymore without them. I must have had many dull moments that somehow I managed to fill with some useless activity. I probably made my chores last longer and spread them out over the days. Not that I remember the days as being dull, or that I thought I was bored. It just seems like that looking back on them now.
I have to be awfully careful that I don't become hypomanic again and I am extra alert for that now. I am trying to keep myself free from too many triggers from the outside world, but also those that I could cause myself. It is a fine line that I walk and although I am being careful, it does not mean that I can prevent it from happening.
I am super aware of what my attitude is right now, and how I react to my surroundings and the people in it and I sure as heck hope that's enough of an effort. I am 50% responsible for my relationships with other people, I realize that now. Much depends on how I behave and react and what I say. I have never realized my share of the responsibility that much and often put the blame of whatever went wrong with the other person. I see now that this is not such a good idea.
Yes, I am never too old to learn a new lesson.
2 comments:
I 've just caught up on a few posts! You seem to keep very busy even on days that you think are boring.
Glad you are completely aware of all the pitfalls that your condition may bring. I think its when one denies them that things get out of hand.
Thats a good photo of you on the side bar above your curly Tyke and adorable Gandhi. I miss not having a pet to stroke, very much.
Hoping your week goes well and that you are not having this wet blowy weather that we are experiencing right now.......... though I suspect you may be.
Maggie x
Nuts in May
I am so delighted you have found pleasure in these activities and are doing well.
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