Some thoughts...

I have just woken up from a nap and for the first time today hardly feel any stress. That nap must have helped me get over it. Maybe I needed the sleep to reset my mind. Maybe I wasn't ready this morning to get up out of bed yet. I may have gotten up prematurely. 

Whatever it was, I'm doing a lot better now and am much more relaxed. It is possible too that I am because the day is almost over and it isn't looming ahead of me anymore with all its responsibilities. Not that I have that many but I'm always accutely aware of the role I play in my own life and that of the animals and I never do feel quite in charge. 

That is until I have taken a nap in the afternoon and get up again. For some reason everything seems much simpler then and I can face life as it is with whatever comes with it. I do count my blessings at the end of the day. 

I felt too much stress earlier to do the relaxation exercises that I learned yesterday although they doubtlessly would have helped me very much. I kept waiting for the right moment to do them but it never came. I suppose that I'm going to have to create the right moment myself. I keep reaching for old methods while new ones should work now. I just have to try and get into the habit. 

In another life, I used to do a lot of gardening and my mind has been going back to that time. I'm thinking about the things I would have done differently knowing what I do now and how I would create a garden if I had the opportunity to do so again.

More than anything, gardening was a very relaxing activity. It was something I got lost in and could spend hours doing. When I was not actually gardening, I spent much time looking at the garden while I enjoyed drinking a cup of coffee and smoked my cigarettes. It was a great pleasure to watch things grow and you do have to have patience for that. 

I would enjoy that kind of activity again and I dream about having another garden in California. Maybe some day my wish will come true. 

Ciao,

Irene