In the interest of science

The nicest thing about lying low, is that the telephone rarely rings and I had not even realized up until very recently how much the ringing of the phone used to bother me. I know now that I was always afraid that a needy person would be at the other end of the line and want some of my precious emotional energy and time. Now I feel as though I have acquired a new sense of freedom in my own apartment and I no longer have such a feeling of entrapment. That's what makes it so much easier to sit and relax in my armchair and take a decent nap in the afternoon if I want. I don't have to worry that the phone will ring.

 

I also very much limit the time I spend behind the computer. Yesterday, I was doing some very interesting research online about the bipolar disorder and I could have gone on for hours, but I realized that I could get very obsessively involved and after one hour shut off the computer. I then proceeded to have a quiet time out while seated in my armchair with a cup of coffee. One thing I am learning is, that bipolar people are very sensitive to stress, and triggers, and can't have too much of it. It can send them into either kind of extreme state. Personally, I have to be careful not to become hypomanic now because I am a rapid cycler and quickly go from one state to the other.

 

I also did more research about the extra antidepressant I am taking and know more about it now I think than the average psychiatrist. I am not nearly as worried about taking it as I was to begin with, because compared to the one I am already taking, it is pretty benign. I researched that one also and visited sites that are meant for professionals or people who are otherwise interested in how the medicines work. The new antidepressant works after you have taken it for two weeks, so any benefits I am feeling from it now are strictly in my imagination. I am sure that they are the result of the changes in my life style. I have been on the new one for eight days.

 

Most likely, it will be a gradual change and not an abrupt one. I just have to be patient.