Sometimes you feel like a nut...

Now that I have been on the lower dose of antipsychotics for a while, I have to admit that I don't think it is such a good idea. It has started to dawn on me that I spent an inordinate amount of time obsessing about the same (small) problems. I get fixated on them and am so from the moment I get up until I go to sleep. I also find it hard to relax and let go of things that should not bother me and that have already been dealt with. I am stuck in the details and keep mulling them over in my mind. This results in me not being able to see the larger picture and view my life from a broader scope.

 

I only got this insight yesterday when I caught a brief glimpse of it, but I held on to that bit of wisdom and have been working it out ever since. On the sanest moments, when reason is with me, I can see where the hitch in the system lies and that I need an increased dose. Luckily, next week I am seeing my psychiatrist so that I can discuss this problem with him and we can set this straight. I may even be able to before that time if I email him and he gives me permission to increase the dose. I think I would prefer that.

 

My knee feels amazingly good and I think that bike ride to and from the grocery store really fixed it. Whatever had snapped into the wrong place, has snapped back into place again. I am not so sure now about what the orthopedic surgeon told me was wrong with it. I assume I am a bit arthritic in that knee and that it causes the problem. I will be sure not to make any deep knee bends again and certainly not while picking up something the least heavy. The vet will have to put Tyke on the examining table the next time.

 

Now that I have stopped smoking regular tobacco and am smoking only electronic cigarettes, the apartment smells a lot better and there are no longer ashes and dust lying around all over the place. I had to give up the tobacco because I could no longer afford it. Of course, I had the windows open anyway all the time, so it didn't smell that bad in here, but it is nice to know that when the weather gets bad, and I have to close the windows, it will not smell like smoke in the apartment at all.

 

The electronic cigarettes work fine and take care of my need for nicotine. The best thing is, that I can smoke them anywhere, even at my sister's house. They are not a nuisance nor make you a social outcast and there's a lot to be said for that.